Dealing with my feelings about being demoted... - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 7 Old 09-16-2008, 02:27 AM - Thread Starter
 
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A week or so ago I shared that my boss is threatening to demote me (or worse) for going on maternity leave. This is still unresolved, but I started this essay as a way to rant/deal with my feelings about it.

I also contacted a couple lawyers and their advice was to first try to work things out because my legal protection (from FMLA and other state laws) is shaky at best. If I do get fired then we will look further into my legal options, but I really hope it doesn't come to that.

I just wanted to share the update. Thanks everyone for your love, advice and support.

NICOLE | Natural livin', co-sleepin', mostly vegan, work at home mama to N (7) and L (2)
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#2 of 7 Old 09-16-2008, 09:35 AM
 
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Thanks for posting this, Nicole. It's an important outlet for you and for many of us who want to work and be mothers. I had an excellent role model with my mom--and all of my friends had moms who worked--so I know that it can done.

I know that when I was recently hired the president of the college (a working mother herself!!!!) was worried that I wouldn't come back after having the baby. I love my work, I want to work, I thrive in a great work situation; all of this questioning does start to whittle away at my understanding and confidence of what a mom can do.

DH and I would like to move to Hilton Head in the next few years where a beach house awaits us. When we do that, our plan is for DH to be the stay-at-home parent. His own mother is flabbergasted by this and doesn't get that I want to work AND be a mother!

I hope this resolves itself better than some of the advice you've gotten, given that you were blatantly told that by your boss. Do you have mother advocacy groups in the area?


Walking in the light with DH, DD (11/08), DS (4/10) , four dogs, and one insouciant cat.
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#3 of 7 Old 09-16-2008, 09:40 AM
 
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It's a shame your boss is doing that to you...he seems to have awful high expectations!
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#4 of 7 Old 09-16-2008, 11:20 PM
 
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This stinks! Good luck!
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#5 of 7 Old 09-17-2008, 12:41 AM
 
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honey i think its so easy to feel powerless now - the whole birth thing, and every shift it represents. glad you talked to a lawyer about it and i really hope it works out. im glad your boss hasnt done anything yet adn i hope he doesnt.
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#6 of 7 Old 09-17-2008, 04:26 PM
 
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Yeah. This sucks. Don't be afraid to make some noise and stick up for yourself. Your boss sounds like a neandertal and you are well within your rights to protest this demotion.
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#7 of 7 Old 09-17-2008, 11:30 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks everyone. I've sort of come to the realization that my boss is just clueless. That's not to say he wouldn't do something vindictive or immature, but I think in this case he simply doesn't know what to do with a pregnant employee (I'm the first). I'm hoping I can hold myself together enough during the last stressful months of this pregnancy to enlighten him.

NICOLE | Natural livin', co-sleepin', mostly vegan, work at home mama to N (7) and L (2)
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