So have I ruined her? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 5 Old 07-07-2009, 06:19 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I have a 12 mo DD.

I have been living in Eastern Europe for the past few months. Fifth floor, no elevator, no balcony...

We basically have one room that we sleep and play in. We leave the house every day for a few hours but spend a lot of time indoors.

I am alienated and bored and have had the tv on too much lately. I hate the kid's stuff so she has only seen a bit of it... But I have had the news or cooking shows or movies on a lot...

I'm sick of it. It depresses me and makes me feel guilty for exposing DD at this crucial time in her development. She is super interested in it. She kicks back and zones. I try to distract her...

OK, so if I turn it off today, have I already messed up her little brain? We don't have cable at home so other than having background noise of movies as a young nursling and seeing some pbs (the grownup stuff) as an infant, it has mostly been 8 months to 12 months that she has seen the crap.

We have adhd and stuff in our family and I know tv is a bad trigger for genetic predisposition of this stuff. I am kicking myself. This is her brain and her life! And I am so lazy that I don't care?!?!?

OK, mostly this is a vent, but what do you think? Have I messed her up?

Mama to DD luxlove.gif born June 2008 and Wife to my dear Magyar foreign exchange husband. Expecting again in September!joy.gif 
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#2 of 5 Old 07-07-2009, 06:33 PM
 
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Your daughter is fine, but the sooner you unplug the better for your own sake. Who needs the guilt? Once you are convinced that TV is bad for your or your kids or both it is impossible to convince yourself it's okay again, so the only peace comes from following your heart and going off the box.

But I'll repeat, your daughter is fine.

I lived in the center of Moscow for 4 years, with three and then four kids and I can tell you I am very sympathetic.

I've got to go but I'll post later if you like. Getting out of the house for a few hours day is key to sanity for all kinds of reasons, but you already do that. What do you think you need to engage you when you are home with DD?

Happy mom to DS2000, DS2002, DD2004, DS2006 and DS 10/2009:
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#3 of 5 Old 07-07-2009, 06:38 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I know that if I just turn it off I'll do other things. Like surf this board! LOL

But I love to journal and I am a neurotic list maker. It is actually relaxing for me to make lists...

And I can lay on the floor and do yoga and pilates while DD plays. And I can leave the house a second time and play at the park or get ice cream. I hate those darn stairs but hey, free exercise! LOL

I can read. WHen I am in a novel I don't turn the boob tube on.

And I can play with and talk to DD more. That's key.

Thanks. I have anxiety and need to be told to chill once in a while (daily.)

Mama to DD luxlove.gif born June 2008 and Wife to my dear Magyar foreign exchange husband. Expecting again in September!joy.gif 
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#4 of 5 Old 07-07-2009, 07:03 PM
 
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, mama! You haven't ruined her! You haven't done anything wrong except ignore your own instincts. It's never too late to turn it off, right? So do it. Pretend you don't even have a TV. What would you do if the TV didn't exist, wasn't an option? Do that.

Your DD will be fine.

Loving wife partners.gif and mama to my sweet little son coolshine.gif (Fall 2008) and a beautiful baby girl babyf.gif(Fall 2010)

 

When a stupid man is doing something he is ashamed of, he always declares that it is his duty. --George Bernard Shaw

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#5 of 5 Old 07-07-2009, 07:17 PM
 
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I am completely not TV free- as in we watch like 30 hours a week or more, but I find that the main reason I turn on the TV is to hear conversation, and one way that I get the same thing without TV is to listen to talk radio and podcasts.
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