In-laws & family exposing 4yo to too much media, how to stop & move forward - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 4 Old 09-13-2009, 04:57 AM - Thread Starter
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So we are pretty much tv free household. No working cable just a DVD player and a small hand picked DVD selection. My partner and I watch certain shows and movies after hours (when kids are asleep) on the computer. However, since my 4yo D was born whenever we have visited our families who live 7 hrs away, they just put tons of kid shows and movies on for her. I have always been so against disney films especially the damsel in distress ones: cinderella, sleeping beauty, snow white etc. Now I am totally disgusted but my daughter seems to have seen most of these mainly at my in-laws who have an extensive Disney collection specifically created for her!!!

We go there and she just expects it. I have a real hard time with it but it appears that my moment to rise has passed and I am feeling meek and ashamed that I was not more proactive and adamant at stopping the exposure, too busy enjoying a break.

I am wondering.....has anyone experienced something similar and how do I stop it without seeming like a "bad guy" and where do I go from here with her. Some problems that I am having is that we are planning on doing Waldorf ed. I am hoping her exposure doesn't inhibit her and I am getting really limited on answers when she asks me to do her hair like cinderella....Help!!!

DD 12/10/04 homebirth.jpg & DS 7/25/08 h20homebirth.gif

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#2 of 4 Old 09-13-2009, 05:49 AM
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Perhaps you can tell your family that your DD is going to be in Waldorf and is not allowed to watch TV or movies or talk about characters from them, and it's better to stop it all now.

You could also limit visits or stop them entirely. Or be there every minute and turn off the videos before or as soon as they come on.
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#3 of 4 Old 09-13-2009, 06:42 AM
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If it is the choice of viewing material, and not so much the screen time itself that is the problem, perhaps bringing some of the DVDs from home for your DD to watch with her grandparents could be a mutually acceptable compromise.
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#4 of 4 Old 09-17-2009, 01:25 AM
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Have you expressed any concerns about tv/media influences to the in-laws before? If not, the only problem is that this may take them by surprise and create bad feelings because they have assumed you were ok with it and have created a video library for her! Many people come at these things with the best intentions and don't see Disney and the like the same way we do. I would just very politely tell them (when your DD is not around) that you are concerned she is being too influenced by this content and it's affecting her creativity and her view of girls and women (with the damsel in distress, etc). Just say that you would really like to encourage her to play more away from the television and could they help you with that? It's tricky, but I think it can be done in a way that doesn't make it sound like you are judging the influence they're having on her. if they are hostile to your overtures, then you may need to take it to the next level - limiting her time there or being with her at all times so you can simply keep her from watching. I feel for you... i have been fairly lucky in that my parents have respected my wishes regarding the televsion and have only rarely had it on around DS

Attachment-Parenting mom to darling DS : (January 2006). : : : : :
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