we are screen-free, but having homebirth - do i show her videos of other homebirths to prepare? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 9 Old 09-14-2009, 09:24 PM - Thread Starter
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My 32 month old is pretty much screen free. we don't do youtube or videos or anything like that (and the few times that she has been exposed it's been like crack to her...).
But here is my question: I am pregnant and planning another wonderful homebirth. I want my daughter there. I know there are some good homebirth videos that would help her understand what would go on during the birth (she also has a couple homebirht books that are okay, not great). Do I start showing her some of these videos in order to help prepare her? I guess I just want some input on some mamas who understand why I think screen time in general is bad, especially for such a wee one. Thanks!:

Legal Mama to TWO homebirthed, unschooled, unvaxed, cloth diapered, mei tei loving, still breastfeeding baby girl 1/14/07 and an intact 8 pound 10 ouncer baby boy 4/5/10.
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#2 of 9 Old 09-14-2009, 09:47 PM
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Well, if you don't use media, how else do you show her things? Talking, pictures, models perhaps, acting things out maybe, right? That can work, too.
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#3 of 9 Old 09-18-2009, 09:11 AM
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Just a thought.....I would talk to her as much as possible. Keep telling her what she may hear... see... what ever you think maybe important.

I did not have a homebirth, but I did tell my son that if mommy starts having the baby this is what may happen. (I only had hard labor with the birth of my son) I talked to him about who would help him while I was having the baby.

Chilren want to know that they are going to be OK. In your situation she will want to know that you are OK. That is what is most important.

You know your child. Do what is going to make her feel safe and happy.
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#4 of 9 Old 09-19-2009, 03:04 PM
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Our son was screen free till about before 3 then he did watch a few short videos.

We did show him videos of births as he was going to be right there for the birth. It was interesting how he got upset when he say medical births vs natural births.

I think it was nice to see he wasn't scared at all. And for the birth itself he was also not scared

I think TV is pretty evil but I think a few short carefully selected birth videos could not cause harm. it is showing something so wonderful and it's not the thing you can just go see in public now is it

Just my thoughts from someone who is TV free and BTDT
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#5 of 9 Old 11-12-2009, 04:41 PM
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We did show ds1 birth videos, he loved them. I think it helped, he was very relaxed at ds2's birth, but I also think the books we read, our relaxed demeanor, our talks about birth noises, and our birth attendants were also super helpful in easing the situation. We watched Birth into Being for a bit, a video showing lots of different births in Norway I think (it came from our midwife), and a great video on nursing. He still talks about that one. We are tv free also. Do you have some good hb kid books? Mary

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#6 of 9 Old 11-24-2009, 09:38 PM
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We are screen free as well and I showed DD (3) birth videos to prepare her. I do think it helped prepare her better than discussion alone.

I haven't noticed any 'problems' as a result- she isn't asking for more videos or anything like that.
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#7 of 9 Old 11-25-2009, 12:07 AM - Thread Starter
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what videos do you use? if you do youtube can you point me to which videos?? thanks!!

Legal Mama to TWO homebirthed, unschooled, unvaxed, cloth diapered, mei tei loving, still breastfeeding baby girl 1/14/07 and an intact 8 pound 10 ouncer baby boy 4/5/10.
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#8 of 9 Old 11-30-2009, 02:30 AM
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We've been "tv-free" for about 5 years, and personally, this has been my (our) conclusion...

"Screens" are not inherently evil. Sometimes, the things that can be watched on tv or computers can be really very enriching. What happens is that TV has gotten out of control in our culture, it is liberally coated with ads and for most of it, the content is trashy. BUT, if "used" in positive ways can really be expanding. I personally think that showing birth videos is a great example of that. Showing some positive videos can be a great way to show the intensity of it (which is hard for littles to understand from a description), as well as the million other things that a good video can show that don't always come out quite right in verbal descriptions. A good video can really help a child "get into it" and prepare.

Another example- DS1 (5 yrs old) is currently OBSESSED with space shuttles. We talk about them, look at books, etc. But the few thoughtfully chosen NASA videos of shuttles on youtube have been transforming for him. I don't think he really conceptualized weightlessness in space, or the power of the engines for lift-off. I personally didn't know that you can *see* when a rocket brakes the sound barrier (the air around it gets all "blurry"), which we both saw from the video and I have no idea how to explain the sight of that. The clips are less than 10 minutes, no ads, put out by NASA and to my son, are absolutely inspiring and he is learning a lot from them. We've had periods of the same "clip learning" about tornadoes, the bottom of the ocean, and spiders.

I think sometimes because the "fight" against tv is requires us to be firm and often say "none" (because of the nature of how the TV comes into the house, the attitudes of others that we confront, the fact that the brain impact of tv is unclear, the pressure, etc.) we tend to lump it all together and say "screens are bad" and have none of it, when really, there is a big difference between Dora and a good birth video for a child who will witness one soon; a difference between Sponge Bob and NASA clips; between Hannah Montana and home videos... Once we have effectively blocked it out, regained our life, and are secure in our position as tv-free, we can see that all "screen stuff" is not all equal and can begin to evaluate some of the finer points...
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#9 of 9 Old 12-22-2009, 07:19 AM
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If you feel uncomfortable with the videos then I don't think they are neccesary to prep your child. I watched some with dd before dd2 was born and in retrospect I could have easily not done it.

We liked the book "Welcome With Love" by Jenni Overend. We were lucky to find a pretty good selection of hb children's books at our library. We checked them all out and read them over and over.

I concentrated on prepping her on the fun stuff and the stuff I knew would bother her, everything else was icing. We are not a yelling family and loud noise bothers my dd, but from my experience with my first birth I knew I would be very loud. And I was right about it being the thing that bothered her the most about the birth. In prepping dd1 I told her alot about the fun stuff and even more about how loud I would be and why. I explained to her how it helped me give birth to be loud and that it may sound scary, but that I wanted to be loud and it would help me. Then when it was actually happening and she expressed that she was worried I just reminded her of the conversations we had about it, that I understood it was scary sounding but I reminded her (in between contractions) that I was okay. In the end, she was very comforted to know that I had been right. It was okay to feel uncomfortable with my yelling, but she liked knowing that I was really okay and that I wanted to yell. She felt it was all worth it because she got to see when that little babe came flying out and she became a big sister. I did have my mom on hand and I let my dd know that at any point she could leave with Grandma if she wanted.

You know your dd best and what might make her uncomfortable or not. Whether it's visitors in the house or noise level or the fact that her schedule may be inturrupted or whatever it is that you know is a soft spot give that time. Let her know it's okay to not like parts of the birth, and then focus on all the great stuff about it.
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