How do you convice DH/Partner? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 12 Old 09-25-2009, 05:53 PM - Thread Starter
 
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How do you convince DH/partner to go T.V. free? He seems to think he can't live without watching ALL the football games. I don't watch T.V. and the kids watch maybe 2 hr. of T.V. a week (usually on Saturday and movie night on Fridays). I think I have sensory issues because it seriously bothers me when it's on (noise, flashing lights etc.). So he ends up in the bedroom watching football and rerun football games ALL WEEKEND with the door shut. He works long hours and part of me thinks it's his way of winding down from his long week and his only hobby.

We have gone over 2 years without a T.V. before. Then we moved and got cable (this was 3 years ago). So we have lived without T.V. just fine before. Which is why I believe my children don't seem to care to watch T.V. Their first few years of life we didn't even own a T.V.

The problem is since he does work so much the kids only see him on the weekend (he usually comes home right at bed time during the week). This causes many arguments since when he IS home he is shut in a room watching T.V.

Not to mention we pay $90 a month just so he can watch football plus the 42" flatscreen that only gets used on the weekends.

He is military and I stay at home so we can't really afford cable anyways.

I love DH and I want him to be happy so I try to not say anything. I did mention once that maybe he could watch the games online or something, but he quickly shot me down since he just bought the big T.V.

Honestly we could REALLY use the money if we sold that honkin T.V. lol But, we do movie night on Friday night with the kids and it does make a difference. So DH says it is just silly to have such a T.V. with no cable.

Anyone have any experience or advice? I really, really, really want to throw it out the window
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#2 of 12 Old 09-28-2009, 11:31 AM
 
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Let me get this straight. Your partner works all week, doesn't see the kids, then spends time by himself all weekend? That would be an issue for me on levels way beyond TV.
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#3 of 12 Old 09-30-2009, 01:57 AM
 
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wow.. reading things like that make me glad I'm a single mom. Sorry if that sounds harsh, but seriously, any man who would choose to watch tv all weekend instead of being with his kids (especially when he doesn't see them during the week) has issues, and the sooner you deal with it that better.

Attachment-Parenting mom to darling DS : (January 2006). : : : : :
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#4 of 12 Old 10-19-2009, 01:48 AM
 
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my husband listens to NASCAR on the radio, and fallows it on line. i know football just stared too, but you might have better luck waiting till the season is over, and unfortunately your kids a season older and get rid of it then and hopefully he will be comfortable w/o it b4 football comes back on. and try to remind him how much money a year that is you spend on cable and what you could do w that money.HTH

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#5 of 12 Old 10-20-2009, 02:01 PM
 
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I know that feeling. My huband watches football @ friends home.

Can you talk to your husband about spending more time with the kids? I think that would be top on my list. It is very hard to see things when you are right in the middle.
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#6 of 12 Old 02-08-2010, 02:58 AM
 
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The original post is months old, but I'm just writing in case she's still looking for advice I suppose I don't have much to add except you are NOT alone. DH and I just had an argument tonight about football Sundays. He's holding a grudge against me because I wasn't "watching" the Superbowl with him and DS (3.5yo). I said I don't want to because it's too stressful. DH yells at the TV, it stresses me out, he yells at DS who wants to jump all over the couch, stand in front of the TV, turn it off/on, play with the remote, etc etc. It just doesn't work to try to watch TV with DS. And (except for damn football) we are tv-free. I said that I understood that it's DH's form of "me-time" but that I'm not willing or able to "help" distract DH while he gets agro at the tv for 4 hrs. This is the way it's been all football season long. DH went to bed mad, saying next year he was going to leave the house to watch games elsewhere. ??? is football that frigging important that he will give up 1/2 a day with his family for it? when he, like your DH, works all week long??? I'm so incredibly po'd... Anyway, I'll say it again... you are NOT alone and I know you are doing the best you can. Hope you're hanging in there...
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#7 of 12 Old 05-26-2010, 04:20 AM
 
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Thinking about what we could and wanted do instead with that huge chunk each month was probably the main deciding factor with mine. That and the Internet broadcasts pretty much anything on cable. And there is always netflix if needed.
I didn't have cable growing up. I first had cable at 19 or maybe even 20. Didn't miss it, spent a lot of time outside as a kid.
I hope we never have cable again personally, I don't care for it much, or the outrageous price tag each month.
I am much more addicted to the Internet , which I also didn't have until adulthood.

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#8 of 12 Old 06-02-2010, 11:45 PM
 
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It took me a while to convince DH to go tv free... and we are just starting to dip our toes in the water in regards to it all.

The tip of the iceberg was DH reading this book:

http://www.amazon.com/Endangered-Min...5533233&sr=8-1

Seriously... it really made us think. And it really, really, disgusted us both

I will recommend this book to anyone who is even contemplating going tv free!!

Kourtney, happily married to my soldier and raising ds 7/08 .... dd 7/10..... and ds 11/11

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#9 of 12 Old 06-03-2010, 02:31 AM
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I told him we'd have more time for other things

Now we have so much time, I want the tv back
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#10 of 12 Old 07-19-2010, 11:04 AM
 
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I have a similar problem. DH is gone from home about 13-14 hours a day, is usually running on little sleep, and by the weekend he's exhausted and just wants to veg out in front of the TV. I get it, but at the same time, I make sure we have family time as well. During the week, he doesn't get any down time at night really either. In the beginning it was easier for him to just veg out and hang out with the baby because Ethan was so small that he would just hang out on the couch, but now that he's a toddler, he needs to be engaged more, so I find that DH is trying to make more of an effort to do stuff with our son besides watch TV. It's so hard, because I don't have any idea what he goes through at work during the week and he has no clue what it's like to be home with a toddler alone all day. We both need wind down, relax time, and if that's the way he needs to do it, that's fine with me, as long as it doesn't cut into our time or time with our son. I find that it helps if I plan activities for us to do on the weekend, and just say "hey, I made plans for us to do, A or B" and if I've done all the planning, he usually is like, okay cool. We could never be TV-Free, and I really don't have a problem with TV, I just think anything in excess is bad for you, so as long as you limit the activity, then it's not harmful. That's just my opinion. Luckily we are a no-sports family, but DH does like his video games. He's gotten to where he can only play them when our son is asleep though, since they're usually not toddler-appropriate. That's help reduce the video game time, for sure! DS usually only watches about 1 hour, sometimes 2 hours a day. depending on the day!

DH(9/04) DS(12/08) and DD(5/11)

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#11 of 12 Old 12-14-2010, 06:08 PM
 
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Totally feel your pain. My DH is a huge sports fanatic and insists on paying ridiculous amounts of money for a sports cable package. Our cable bill is through the roof. I grew up in a TV-free home and so I have a hard time grasping his attachment to the television. While I would be 100% okay with a TV free household, DH is not buying it. He grew up with a TV and sad as it sounds, it's how he and his family relate to each other. Sports is their main thing that they talk about, which is fine...I just don't like paying the disgusting cable bill for it. I've been working on him to watch his games online so that we can cut our bill down and he is coming around, but progress is slow. 

 

We had a huge argument recently about the television and I made it clear that I felt like spending time together as a family NOT in front of the tube was really important. Once he got the idea that I really just wanted us to spend more time together doing something other than watching TV, he was much more open about cutting back the TV time. Maybe if you make spending time together the issue as opposed to razzing him about his television watching, he'll come around and the amount of time spent watching TV will cut down on its own. Men are stubborn like that...you have to make think it was their idea. *rolls eyes* :)

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#12 of 12 Old 09-06-2011, 12:42 PM
 
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Since you said he's in the Military... I don't care how mundane his job is at work, there are so many stressors it's ridiculous.  They have you constantly going.  And if he's coming home rather than going out as a lot do... that's even better.  And he's not deployed? 

 

Of course all jobs are different and everyone wants to spend family time together.  However sometimes, we think our way to spend time together is the only way.  Look I didn't like football for the longest time.  I'm a soccer fan, but I found a way to enjoy the game.  And now I'm playing fantasy football... I'm so going to win this year!  He didn't like hiking, found it boring.  However I put in the effort to find a way to like something he likes and I can usually get everyone out for a hike on Saturdays and out in the yard to play a game of soccer (he's terrible). 

 

Also quality family time isn't necessarily how you're spending your time it's who you're spending your time with.  I listened to DD1 and her dad talk for an hour last night about Lance Briggs, and how he's a decent offensive lineman... Really, she was pretty into it too. 

 

I don't know there is just so many ways you can spend time together. 

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