Mamas of TV Free Children Rollcall - Page 5 - Mothering Forums

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#121 of 1527 Old 10-14-2004, 11:42 AM
 
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Hey, everyone. AdrianneWe is earning her stripes over here http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=201953 and what say you we have her over?

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#122 of 1527 Old 10-14-2004, 12:31 PM
 
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My children have been pretty much TV, computer and movie free for 5 years now. My oldest is 9 and my youngest is 6. We started Waldorf school with my oldest when he was 4 and that is when we pulled the plug. It was a great move!
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#123 of 1527 Old 10-14-2004, 01:50 PM
 
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Ok, ok! I'm really, truly here! Thanks, S, for the vote of confidence (considering we're only five or six days into it... )

Yeah, about commercialization, I always cringe when my ds recognizes names of characters. He knows so many that he has never seen on tv: Spiderman, Batman, Spongebob, Blues Clues... (yes, he has seen tv, but not these shows). He does have some items - clothes, toys, plates - that were hand-me-downs or gifts, but my dh and I have always resisted using them even before we went tv-free. Just didn't seem right to us. Didn't want our ds to be sold to at such a young age!!!

He's still requesting shows, but hopefully he'll forget that tv was ever an option someday. Someone on my intervention thread said it might take a month to break the addiction.
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#124 of 1527 Old 10-14-2004, 08:21 PM
 
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Waldorf education supports all you Mamas of TV free Children!

If you live on the North Shore of Mass., you should check out the Cape Ann Waldorf school. Its a great community.
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#125 of 1527 Old 10-15-2004, 06:23 AM
 
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Can someone update me on Waldorf education? Is it a homeschool method?
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#126 of 1527 Old 10-15-2004, 07:38 AM
 
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I haven't read all the posts in this thread, but wanted to add my say.

We're mostly t.v. free, but we occaisonally watch movies on the computer, and we are NOT at all computer-free, since that's what dh does for a living. Our tv hadn't been on for months, maybe a year, and when we moved it did not come with us. So we no longer own a tv!
I do have trouble coming up with engaging activities for 2 y.o. dd, and in the past I had worried about her missing out: one of her friends can count to 16, he picked it up from t.v., she's only now becoming aware of numbers. When I remembered that we're going with unschooling philosophy, I laid off worrying about what she picked up when, but it does seem that some kids' shows do teach some skills like numbers and letters. I went with my instincts though, and kept to no-tv.
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#127 of 1527 Old 10-15-2004, 10:23 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MamiBeth
Can someone update me on Waldorf education? Is it a homeschool method?
Check out the learning thread, learning at school, alternative. There is a section on Waldorf there. Waldorf can be done at home but most people who participate in Waldorf education send their children to Waldorf schools which are private non-sectarian schools. My two kids go to a Waldorf school and we love it.
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#128 of 1527 Old 10-15-2004, 12:43 PM
 
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AdrianneWe- Glad you could join us!
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#129 of 1527 Old 10-15-2004, 01:50 PM
 
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I love that there's a place where people are comfortable to discuss differences and maintain convictions. I find it so difficult to learn in my normal environment where everyone's too polite to express an opinion. Thanks for being so honest!

I'm a foster parent and we don't have TV, we do allow the occassional video. We only have one kid right now and I do struggle with needing to get things done and him wanting a play mate. I struggle with wanting to put in a video to keep him busy. I try to keep in mind that if it didn't exist I couldn't use it, this usually helps, though sometimes I break down.

I'm wondering if you all know a place I can find simple information on the trouble with TV. I would like to give it to the birth parents of our kids when they go for visits or prepare to transition home. Thanks for helping to stick together in this fight against media on our families!
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#130 of 1527 Old 10-15-2004, 02:24 PM
 
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DD is TV free, too She will remain so in the foreseeable future.

For those of you with older kids, do you find that your child feels different or left out? This is one concern I have for DD... It's hard to be different, and I don't know anybody else IRL who doesn't let their kids watch TV. The older kids that I do know (not many, admittedly) seem to do an awful lot of "pretend" play where they act out stuff they saw on TV or in the movies. I don't think this argument is nearly strong enough to counterbalance the negatives of TV, but I am curious about what your experiences are (and how you've handled any difficulties).
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#131 of 1527 Old 10-15-2004, 02:30 PM
 
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We've not experienced any of the twins feeling "left out" or "different". Rather they often complain when around their cousins that all they want to do is watch boring TV. :LOL
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#132 of 1527 Old 10-15-2004, 04:19 PM
 
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I grew up without a tv and oh BOY did I feel "different and left out." I was a total freak and I knew it. Believe me, mamas, you are going to have to face this as your kids get older. I didn't know who the Fonz was (I'm dating myself, I know), why the girls were saying that Shaun Cassidy was "so cute" (Shaun who?") and in a host of ways I was a clueless vegetarian at the pop culture barbeque. And this was at a Waldorf school!

But the thing is, I dealt with it. I was a reader, our house was full of books, and I have no regrets about the way I grew up. I had a tv briefly when I was a young, single gal, but haven't had one for years. Ds (5) and ds2 (20mo) have barely seen it, and I feel very strongly about my decision to keep our house tv free.

One lesson I will take from my childhood though, is not to freak out if they should spend hours watching it at some friends house now and then. My mom would get really upset if she found we'd been watching at Grandma's, but since I turned out to be a no-tv advocate despite all those hours watching "Fantasy Island" I'm not going to consider it a big deal.
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#133 of 1527 Old 10-15-2004, 05:00 PM
 
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We didn't have a TV (myself) until I was 7 or 8 and then it was strictly regulated so I had no idea about popular stuff either really.

Maybe it's that I've always been an introvert and not cared about social rules anyway? I never felt odd or alienated because of that. Other things (dresses, no brand-name clothes, et) but not that.
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#134 of 1527 Old 10-15-2004, 06:50 PM
 
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We have a TV, but only 2 channels. The news channel and PBS. I just wanted to comment on the no TV approach. It seems to my dh and I, that everything should be in moderation. My dh grew up in a family of strict religious beliefs that included, no TV, no shorts or short sleeve shirts, no going to the movies, no school dances, and the list goes on. My dh never felt like pushing the rules, although he did at times, but what happend was he became divided amongst (sp?) his peers. He didn't blend in well because of all the radical rules his parents made him go by.
So, in my opinion, we shouldn't make our children feel like the TV is so bad. Rather monitor what they can watch and make sure it's appropriate for age level. I'm not saying let your children watch TV everyday, all day.
I think all of the bad rap from TV stems from parents who let their children sit in front of it whenever they want all day long. In that sense, the TV has become a babysitter for many children. That's where the damage to their mind comes in. It's not good for their brain development, we all should know that.
Our household does not watch much of it. My dh and I just rented our first movie since our dd was born, she's 11 mos old. It took us two days and many pauses to watch the whole thing. Our lives are centered around daily activity and getting together with other children to play. But on occassion we enjoy watching our dd get to watch a developmentally appropriate program that she is enjoying.

Everything in Moderation
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#135 of 1527 Old 10-15-2004, 06:56 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by numomnalaska
I just wanted to comment on the no TV approach. It seems to my dh and I, that everything should be in moderation.
Whatever works for you. But, if you want to debate about TV, here is a debate thread: http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=195534

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#136 of 1527 Old 10-15-2004, 07:11 PM
 
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I think all of the bad rap from TV stems from parents who let their children sit in front of it whenever they want all day long.
Since recent studies have shown that even 1/2 hour a day can reduce the age of puberty, I respectfully disagree.

Many of us have reasons far beyond the amount of TV watched. For *us* those reasons make it not a situation of "moderation in everything".
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#137 of 1527 Old 10-15-2004, 07:57 PM
 
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I agree with NatureMamaOR & sohj. I also think as far as my daughter being left out or thought of as "weird" due to her lack of TV watching is not such a big issue. Children exclude and pick on other children for a myriad of reasons. I grew up with TV and I was still taunted relentlessly by my peers. We cannot let our parenting be controlled by wether or not are children will be accepted by all the other kids.

I also plan on homeschooling, the major reason for this is because I think the way children "socialize" in schools in unnatural. Children cannot learn all of there social skills from children of the same age, especially when those children are learning their social skills from the television!!!!

i know my views are thought of as extreme by many other parents but when I look at my happy, confident and articulate (16 month old!) I know I am making the right choices.

And one more thing to this long rant, I rid myself of the TV way before Isadora came around. I felt that tv was taking time away from other pursuits. When other parents ask me how I get so much done with a toddler I tell them its because we have no tv.

Sorry, I get all fired up about this....
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#138 of 1527 Old 10-15-2004, 09:30 PM
 
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From what I am reading (see my siggee), it is not what you watch or the moderation of watching, it is the fact that you watch at all that is damaging.

I agree that life shouldn't be full of restrictions, but when it comes down to an issue of health and well-being, well, I'm going to set limits.

I'm now considering TV to be equally as bad as, say, eating at McDonalds. I don't think that my child will be ostracized bc he doesn't do either of these. And I know that bc he won't be watching TV, he'll be energetic and creative enough to find plenty of fun things to do that he won't care about what he's missing on tv JMHO!
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#139 of 1527 Old 10-15-2004, 09:40 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by numomnalaska
we enjoy watching our dd get to watch a developmentally appropriate program that she is enjoying.
Your dd is only 11 months old? Are you aware the American Academy of Pediatrics (who are *very* mainstream by the way) say that children should not be exposed to TV until at least 2 years of age?

Please respect this is a thread of mamas who are AGAINST TV. This is not a debate thread.
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#140 of 1527 Old 10-15-2004, 09:54 PM
 
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excellent point, MamaAllNatural!
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#141 of 1527 Old 10-16-2004, 01:01 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by numomnalaska
I think all of the bad rap from TV stems from parents who let their children sit in front of it whenever they want all day long. In that sense, the TV has become a babysitter for many children. That's where the damage to their mind comes in. It's not good for their brain development, we all should know that.

But on occassion we enjoy watching our dd get to watch a developmentally appropriate program that she is enjoying.

Everything in Moderation
Please read the studies about the damage that can be done to a child's brain by watching t.v. or videos before the age of two. This is permanent programming of your child's brain and how it operates - (Your child cannot be reprogrammed). I was allowing my little girl to watch Baby Einstein videos until I learned better. I believe that t.v. in moderation is a total waste of time, just as I believe poison in moderation will still poison you.
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#142 of 1527 Old 10-16-2004, 01:19 AM
 
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A friend and I saw an interesting revelation in this (Plato, The Cave ). What do you all think? What does it bring to mind?

Quote:
Imagine a dark, subterranean prison in which humans are bound by their necks to a single place from infancy. Elaborate steps are taken by unseen forces to supply and manipulate the content of the prisoner’s visual experience. This is so effective that the prisoners do not recognize their imprisonment and are satisfied to live their lives in this way. Moreover, the cumulative effects of this imprisonment are so thorough that if freed, the prisoners would be virtually helpless. They could not stand up on their own, their eyes would be overloaded initially with sensory information, and even their minds would refuse to accept what the senses eventually presented them. It is not unreasonable to expect that some prisoners would wish to remain imprisoned even after their minds grasped the horror of their condition. But if a prisoner was dragged out and compelled to understand the relationship between the prison and outside, matters would be different. In time the prisoner would come to have genuine knowledge superior to the succession of representations that made up the whole of experience before. This freed prisoner would understand those representations as imperfect—like pale copies of the full reality now grasped in the mind. Yet if returned to the prison, the freed prisoner would be the object of ridicule, disbelief, and hostility.
and this:

Quote:
Imagine human beings living in an underground, cavelike dwelling, with an entrance a long way up, which is both open to the light and as wide as the cave itself. They’ve been there since childhood, fixed in the same place, with their necks and legs fettered, able to see only in front of them, because their bonds prevent them from turning their heads around. Light is provided by a fire burning far above and behind them. Also behind them, but on higher ground, there is a path stretching between them and the fire. Imagine that along this path a low wall has been built, like the screen in front of puppeteers above which they show their puppets . . . Then also imagine that there are people along the wall, carrying all kinds of artifacts that project above it—statues of people and other animals, made out of stone, wood, and every material. And, as you’d expect, some of the carriers are talking, and some are silent. (514a1-515a3)
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#143 of 1527 Old 10-16-2004, 01:48 AM
 
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Hi mamas,
when I first read this thread, I was on the side of moderation in all things including tv...I have changed the way I feel about it thanks in part to this thread (thanks ). Its been about 2 weeks...I havent really been keeping track...we have been too busy doing fun stuff like reading, crafts and playing to miss tv. I'm so happy that we have gone tv free again, it is really a wonderful thing

~rainysmama

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#144 of 1527 Old 10-16-2004, 02:34 AM
 
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Sorry for stepping out of my bounds and putting many of you mama's on the defensive side. I wasn't writing to debate TV watching, only to give my opinion. Which is why these forums are here in the first place. Thank goodness we are all here checking in on others opinions from time to time.

Thanks for all of the advice for what is "appropriate" for my little family. I better stick to lurking.
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#145 of 1527 Old 10-16-2004, 03:55 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Wow, very interesting indeed NatureMamaOR.

That's so wonderful to hear rainy's mama!
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#146 of 1527 Old 10-16-2004, 04:31 AM
 
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We got rid of the TV shortly after ds was born... at first we thought we would get another one once he turned 3.. but he is 2 1/2 and we have no plans to get one. We don't miss it one bit.. and I WORK in TV news, so go figure it.
I got rid of it because of the potential neurological effects on ds, as well as wanting to shield him from advertising, and distorted images of people and cultures.

I do see value in nature programs, great movies and documentaries, but not until he is much much older. He can get all he needs from books and music and being out in the world with us right now.

We do use the computer in front of ds. But the computer isn't the TV. We do not play computer or video games. I don't have an issue with ds seeing me post messages or do research. I don't think that has the same effect on his brain at all.

We have a portable dvd player for watching movies when ds is in bed. And no, I don't see myself as a hypocrite. I am an adult. I drink wine and have sex. Ds doesn't because he is 2 1/2. I don't think I need to stop drinking wine or having sex because I have a kid. I still get to be an adult.. I don't have to live like a 2 1/2 year old to raise one.
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#147 of 1527 Old 10-16-2004, 09:23 AM
 
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asherah, you said you work in TV news. Do you find it (the news) to be manipulative? Since I haven't had TV when I hear a news cast I am shocked at just how manipulative it seems to be.

As for being weird or different, so what? My kids are different for having co-slept until 4 1/2 and almost 3 and still being welcome in our bed any time (which is usually 3 am for the 3 year old). My kids are different for extended nursing. My son is different for being intact. My kids are different for homeschooling. The point is there will always be things they are different for. TV is but one of them.
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#148 of 1527 Old 10-16-2004, 11:51 AM
 
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Heather (newmomalaska) you don't have to lurk at MDC, just check which forum you are in before you post. This is the tribe forum. That means that these threads are for people who want to hang out with others who have the same opinions on a certain issue (or the same life experience, etc). Which doesn't mean that the posters never want to debate the issue of tv, but it *does* mean they want a safe place to come every now and then where they don't *have* to debate it because everyone is of the same mind. So this wasn't the place to post that you think tv is fine. You can't expect to say that here that and not have people tell you they think you are wrong. No one was rude but it's just not the place to debate the issue. It would be like going to the breastfeeding forum and saying that in your opinion, formula is ok in moderation

I watched as much tv as I wanted as a kid and I was very unpopular and picked on in school. Not to say it won't ever be an issue but being a tv junkie didn't make me fit in so . . . :LOL So far we're fine here. I guess it helps that her best friend doesn't watch a lot (mom doesn't allow it on M-F and they watch minimally on the weekends). And we also homeschool and I think that makes a difference. We do have friends who watch mega amounts (and are great kids and we love the family!). But also, I don't mind if my dd sees tv at other people's houses every now and then. But if that's ALL they do at someone's house we just plan playdates somewhere else where tv is not available. Playgrounds, parks, etc.
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#149 of 1527 Old 10-16-2004, 12:37 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by asherah
I am an adult. I drink wine and have sex. Ds doesn't because he is 2 1/2. I don't think I need to stop drinking wine or having sex because I have a kid. I still get to be an adult.. I don't have to live like a 2 1/2 year old to raise one.
This is how I see it too Asherah.
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#150 of 1527 Old 10-16-2004, 12:54 PM
 
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Ashera

My thoughts exactly. (Plus, try and make me give up HGTV and TLC! nooo nooooooo nooooooooo!) I do admit to enjoying TV (within reason) but doesn't make it okay for dd and ds. (or me but that's another thread!)
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