Not even educational shows? How will she learn anything? - Mothering Forums

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Old 07-30-2008, 11:47 PM - Thread Starter
 
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But it makes them so happy... she would LOVE such and such show

I think children's shows are just so great these days they teach them to count and read and keep them occupied for hours.


and other lame comments....


How do you deal? Really what do you say when people ask why you dont let your child watch EVEN the educational stuff, if you are not allowing that?

Also anyone know the name of or have a link to the one groundbreaking resarch type article that talks more about hwo babies brains develop and how tv and all those little dots making up a picture effect brain dev in younger children. It's not new I think at least 10 years old and I knwo the title is catchy,, anyone know what im talking about?
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Old 07-31-2008, 12:55 PM
 
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Your DC is under 2, right? I would just say that you have chosen to follow the AAP's recommendation of no TV for under-2's.

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Old 08-01-2008, 02:57 AM
 
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I know I shouldn't say this but it baffles me that people let their kids watch television when they are under two. There is so much research against it. I totally know where you are coming from though. I get those comments all the time. I get even more bizzare ones when people find out that I don't plan on letting him watch television till he is at least 5 maybe even 7. Frequently they tell me "good luck with that" sarcastically. That really bugs.

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Old 08-01-2008, 05:42 AM
 
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I know I shouldn't say this but it baffles me that people let their kids watch television when they are under two. There is so much research against it. I totally know where you are coming from though. I get those comments all the time. I get even more bizzare ones when people find out that I don't plan on letting him watch television till he is at least 5 maybe even 7. Frequently they tell me "good luck with that" sarcastically. That really bugs.
It does get harder as they get older if you have a TV in the house. They stay up later, so if you watch TV in the evening, they see that. Then at school, their friends might talk about TV characters or just "cartoons" generally. Then they see stuff in the stores when you shop. They just generally become much more aware. If you don't have a TV at all, I imagine it's a lot easier, of course.

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Old 08-01-2008, 08:14 PM
 
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It does get harder as they get older if you have a TV in the house. They stay up later, so if you watch TV in the evening, they see that. Then at school, their friends might talk about TV characters or just "cartoons" generally. Then they see stuff in the stores when you shop. They just generally become much more aware. If you don't have a TV at all, I imagine it's a lot easier, of course.

I don't doubt it gets harder as they get older but I pretty much know what to expect because that is how I was raised. Yes there is a TV in my house and yes there was one in the house I grew up in but it was never on. Adults were never aloud to watch it while the kids were up. Thats was the rule growing up and that is the rule in our house now.

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Old 08-02-2008, 06:34 AM
 
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Your DC is under 2, right? I would just say that you have chosen to follow the AAP's recommendation of no TV for under-2's.
I tried that once then was told the AAP also says you should vax, which you don't
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Old 08-27-2008, 10:43 AM
 
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I tried that once then was told the AAP also says you should vax, which you don't
Wow, someone was on their toes to put that one together, lol

I haven't come upon a great answer for those questions yet. Honestly, like the vax issue I just don't bring it up.

If I am questioned by someone I think has a genuine interest, I reference the AAP recs and Plug in Drug as well as my personal opinions about creative play, commercialism, and character development.

If I know I am speaking to someone who is just trying to be critical, I change the subject by saying something like "well, you know what a weirdo I am!"

One time when I was questioned about the educational aspect I said something along the lines of "Einstein, Aristotle, and Martin Luther seemed to do just fine with out TV." It's really a sweeping generalization without much substance, but I just needed a snappy comeback in that particular conversation- which was oddly enough an older person who grew up on a farm without electricity.
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Old 08-29-2008, 02:14 PM
 
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I would tell them that I (as well as my DH) learned to read and do math just fine without TV, so I don't see why my kids need it. (We actually learned better than "just fine" -- we did very well in school, so the proof is there.) At this point, I could also point them to my 6yo, as she's been a fluent reader for a long time, magically without TV.

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Old 08-30-2008, 12:17 AM
 
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I just shrug and say my kids learned to count playing hide and seek. And then i ask about their garden/apple pie recipe/if their kids liked swim lessons this summer. etc.

I rarely bring up the subject but it does come up when people visit. I've learned over the years that people actually do get uncomfortable and sometimes think you think of less of them because they watch tv.

I think not having/watching tv puts non-tvers so far out of the mainstream we can't expect people to understand or approve. I find it weird that this is so, but I really do think it is.

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Old 09-01-2008, 02:18 PM
 
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It always amazes me the things that people are concerned that you are denying your children of.

If you homeschool, you're denying them of socialization!
If you EBF, you're denying them of (cow's) milk!
If you're vegetarian, you're denying them of protein!
If you eat TF, you're denying them of 'treats'!
If you're TV free, you're denying them of education and entertainment!

Are people ignorant or just trying to compensate for feeling inferior for their parenting choices?

and
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Old 09-03-2008, 03:36 AM
 
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It always amazes me the things that people are concerned that you are denying your children of.

If you homeschool, you're denying them of socialization!
If you EBF, you're denying them of (cow's) milk!
If you're vegetarian, you're denying them of protein!
If you eat TF, you're denying them of 'treats'!
If you're TV free, you're denying them of education and entertainment!

Are people ignorant or just trying to compensate for feeling inferior for their parenting choices?

I totally know what you mean. I get told that I am denying him TV and that I should just teach him moderation. I just don't see how there is moderation for television with a 19 month old.

Fun loving crunchy mommy to an amazing outgoing adventurous boy named Logan Cloud 2/2/07 and our little ball of energy Jayden Edge 11/28/10 and wife to Jet 7/3/05 expecting our third 09/21/14

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Old 09-03-2008, 03:46 AM
 
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I just say that my DD doesn't show any interest in TV, yet, which is true for now. But I think I will continue to use that one whether she shows interest or not.

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Old 09-04-2008, 04:06 AM
 
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My standard answer is that I think children should be "doing" and not "viewing". I think this was mentioned in the Rahima Baldwin Dancy book "You Are Your Child's First Teacher" or maybe I heard it somewhere else???

My dd is now 3.5 yrs and is raised without TV. When we are at someone's home with TV she usually wants to watch it and she usually does for about 3 minutes before she moves on to some other activity. She is just not interested in it. I'm not sure if it's because she is in a no TV household or if it's just her personality?

By the way, when we are at someone's home and they turn on the TV for her I am sometimes asked "Is it OK if she watches ____(fill in the blank with whatever show or channel)?" I always reply that I don't really care what she watches. It's more the activity itself and the content does not matter too much.
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Old 09-04-2008, 12:57 PM
 
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"how will she learn anything?"

reply: I will teach her--I am her mother.

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Old 09-05-2008, 06:56 PM
 
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This isn't quite the same thing, but DH had a colleague once comment on DS' verbal skills when he was 18m. DH just said, yeah, DS likes to talk a lot. And his colleague replied, all seriousness and confusion, "Buuuuut...you don't have a TV, do you?" DH said he really had to bite his tongue not to say something like, "Oh, do you think there could be a connection??"
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Old 09-06-2008, 08:25 PM
 
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I always just point to my six year old and have him read something. Let them know he's been reading small words since he was three and that HIS mama and daddy taught him what letters and numbers and the words to songs and the names of planets and all that to him, pretty darned easily.

But I've got an old kid so it's easy for me.

You could always point out that amazingly people learned things before the idiot box was invented.

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Old 09-07-2008, 05:42 PM
 
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I just sigh and mention the fact that there's no such thing as educational TV. Even if it is "educational," it is TELEVISION and also, perhaps highly commercialized.

Children can learn Spanish without Dora.

Welcome to the Real World she said to me, condescendingly, take a seat. Take your life; plot it out in black and white.
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Old 09-07-2008, 10:25 PM
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ya know we have cable and my ds watched the "learnign shows" and i dont think he learned anything form them except 1 and that was a movie the letter factor he learned all his letters and the sounds they make
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Old 09-22-2008, 12:59 AM
 
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I always say "have do you have time for a tv." We spend so much time reading, playing, and having fun I wouldn't trade that for brain drain any day!!
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Old 10-19-2008, 03:06 PM
 
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Great answer, 2mama!! I just had this discussion with my mom the other night. She watches a few hours of tv per day, despite a full time job. She was asking me if I watched a certain movie. (We had Netflix until recently.) I said, "It's on my computer, I think, but no, I don't have time to sit down and watch a movie." She was floored....she said, "How don't you have time to watch a movie??" I told her that we spent the day playing, caring for the livestock, doing general farm work, reading, napping, going to dance class, cooking meals, cleaning house, etc. By the time supper was over, it was time for bath, books and bed. There simply wasn't a spare 2 hours to be had no matter what. She understood technically, but is amazed that we can't fit "tv" (whatever form) into our day.

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Old 10-20-2008, 10:52 PM
 
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Great answer, 2mama!! I just had this discussion with my mom the other night. She watches a few hours of tv per day, despite a full time job. She was asking me if I watched a certain movie. (We had Netflix until recently.) I said, "It's on my computer, I think, but no, I don't have time to sit down and watch a movie." She was floored....she said, "How don't you have time to watch a movie??" I told her that we spent the day playing, caring for the livestock, doing general farm work, reading, napping, going to dance class, cooking meals, cleaning house, etc. By the time supper was over, it was time for bath, books and bed. There simply wasn't a spare 2 hours to be had no matter what. She understood technically, but is amazed that we can't fit "tv" (whatever form) into our day.
This is us too!

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Old 10-20-2008, 11:23 PM
 
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Well...I was raised without TV until I was 5 and I'm smart enough. that's what i tell people. honestly, being raised without TV was such a blessing for me. NOw, I am not really interested in it and am very choosey about the stuff that I do watch so my brain is not so full of useless drivel all the time.

My parents only let us watch educational stuff after we got tv until I was 14 and by then i wasn't interested in anything. I think it's just a stretch for people. We just have to have compassion and patience and know that not everyone is at the point yet where they can understand that even educational tv might not be the best way to educate.
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Old 11-28-2008, 04:54 PM
 
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I feel your pain. I'm only pregnant and getting the "yeah right. we'll see" responses when I discuss having no TV.

There have been studies done that have proven that small children have trouble following TV. Everything moves too fast and everyone talks too quickly for them to really pick up on anything. They've also proven that a child learns BETTER when Mommy and Daddy teach them things.

Also, you could tell people that when ADULTS watch TV parts of their brains shut down (mostly the imagination part) because, let's face it, you don't have to use your whole brain to watch TV. I tell people that I don't want my kids to turn into TV zombies.

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Old 12-06-2008, 02:08 AM
 
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Originally Posted by yukookoo View Post
But it makes them so happy... she would LOVE such and such show

I think children's shows are just so great these days they teach them to count and read and keep them occupied for hours.


and other lame comments....


Ok so I'm hyperventilating trying to read the first part of this post and was geared up to type this big ole' rant, thinking you MEANT it...that you believed TV made them happy and taught them great things etc etc etc.

Then I proceeded to BREATHE and read the REST of the post.

Ahem.

I'm better now. LOLOLOLOL Scared me for a minute though!

Anywhoo...

I like to remind people who ask such asinine questions that some of the greatest thinkers of all time and history lived well before modern media and did things called READ and EXPLORE. I'll usually say something about wanting my kids to think for themselves, then I'll point out 'there is a good reason they call it programming' and smile LOL

I TRY not to be sarcastic, but really now it is kinda hard lol!

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Old 12-19-2008, 01:39 AM
 
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"how will she learn anything?"

reply: I will teach her--I am her mother.
:
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Old 12-19-2008, 04:16 AM
 
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We don't have cable, or even basic television channels but our DD does watch movies occasionally. Or rather, the movies are on, she watches for five minutes and moves onto something else. She'll ask to watch movies, but rarely stays put for very long.

This is a fairly recent thing, I was pretty anti-TV when she was younger. I've grown pretty lax in that department. But OP, I totally get where you are coming from. I never bought a single Baby Einstein product, we will never own a V-Smile or any other "educational" movie or toy. If she DOES watch a movie, it's strictly for fun or to chill for a minute. I'm not going to delude myself into thinking she's actually benefitting from it at all.

Everyone thinks I'm nuts for not being amazed by the "Your Baby Can Read" stuff. "Why wouldn't you want your infant to read??" Why WOULD I? Kids should be concerned with being kids, they'll learn what they need in the process. Sorry, that's a little OT- that's less about TV than it is my opposition to forcing kids to learn before they are ready.
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Old 02-26-2009, 02:39 AM
 
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Originally Posted by AFWife View Post
I feel your pain. I'm only pregnant and getting the "yeah right. we'll see" responses when I discuss having no TV.

There have been studies done that have proven that small children have trouble following TV. Everything moves too fast and everyone talks too quickly for them to really pick up on anything. They've also proven that a child learns BETTER when Mommy and Daddy teach them things.

Also, you could tell people that when ADULTS watch TV parts of their brains shut down (mostly the imagination part) because, let's face it, you don't have to use your whole brain to watch TV. I tell people that I don't want my kids to turn into TV zombies.
I am so right there with you! Every time I mention no TV to members of my family (esp my SIL), they think I'm nuts and then get offended or something because they "can't" get a break without sitting their kids in front of it. They wore me down eventually and until I found this forum I've been qualifying my statements and watering them down like "Hopefully we can make it without the tv but of course anything can happen and I can't judge right now." with an ingratiating smile to let them know that I plan to give in if I'm stressed out or something.

Honestly, I don't WANT the TV on around my little kids! I just don't! So why should I "have" to? From all that I've read about AP and BF and all the other things that have gotten lost in the mainstream way of raising children, I should be able to avoid a lot of issues that plague the modern child raised by "education" tv. I'm not saying I'll have perfect children with no issues, and I do recognize the potential for high-need children no matter how much natural parenting you do. But I really believe that adding TV to the mix can only hurt, not help, in the long run.
I've been watching an example of that since I got married: DH's nephew has severe ADHD and his grandparents encourage him to play more video games and watch more tv so he'll stay out of trouble... I'm almost certain he wasn't able to be BF and that his mother (out of necessity and I really feel for her) couldn't be around for AP. His grandparents could have picked up the slack, but they didn't. (Take this with a grain of salt as I have issues with my MIL...)
Then again, DH's family has the tv on at dinner time every single night so they don't miss Jepoardy etc. at the same time that they require everyone to be at the table for dinner. I always wonder why...

Anyway, basically I'm just going to stop compromising my own values for people who don't understand or who would get offended. If they ask questions, I'll let them know that I intend to be very firm about the no TV thing. I don't care what they "must" do or how much they roll their eyes!

So anyway, thanks for all your support! Everyone! Yay! I can do stuff! And to start, I will wean MYSELF of the tube!
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Old 03-02-2009, 03:51 AM
 
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I just tell people we borrow the occasional educational DVD from the library. Now our 6 yr old has discovered YouTube, and finds short video clips on his favorite animal of the moment to watch. Far better than being fed a slow, steady and insiduous stream of TV commercials simultaneously...

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Old 03-09-2009, 02:49 AM
 
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The very best and easiest way I have found to avoid any types of tv comments was to simply sell the tv! DH and I got rid of our tv years before kids came along so everyone was already used to us not having one. I don't think it even crossed anyone's mind to ask us about our dd and tv b/c it was old news by the time she came along. So old, in fact, that often times when talking about tv, people will say, "Oh yeah, I forgot that you don't have a tv!" We are also way laid back about our tv-free status. I do not go around preaching about it, but if people ask, I say that we have better things to do

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Old 03-30-2009, 08:46 PM
 
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My mom moved on when i reminder her that she and everyone born b4 1955 (right) learnd to talk and read just fine without sesame street.
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