resorting to tv...vent/guilt - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 7 Old 09-27-2008, 08:34 PM - Thread Starter
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i'm in my first trimester of pg #2. we've gone back and forth on the tv thing. dd watched none, aside from maybe a movie or two until probably a month before her second birthday. she got sick then, and so did i, and that was our intro to tv. since then, like i said, it has been back and forth. when she's under the weather, or the weather is AWFUL we have done tv. we went through a spurt in mid-summer when we watched a pbs kids show a couple afternoons a week when it was too stinkin' hot to be outside. dh and i both were uncomfortable with how attached she became to the tv, even with just 30 min. a day, so we decided to move the tv into our guest room for rare viewing only. we don't have cable.

nice plan, but now i'm pregnant and very sick. my last pregnancy was also challenging--i have days when i don't hold any food down all day. my mw has encouraged as much rest as possible, with the threat of bedrest, to keep me from the point i reached last time--losing 15 pounds, emotionally exhausted, dehydrated, etc.

so....dd is now watching about an hour each afternoon so i can rest. we go into the guest room, i close the door, we lay down, and she watches/i doze. she doesn't nap, so this is as close as i get to rest. i hate the tv part though, but she's too young to give me a chance to rest without this time. she usually watches a storybook-type dvd from the library or part of a musical. no tv shows. i try to avoid characters, but that is challenging. the only two we've had so far are arthur and curious george. absolutely nothing disney or nickelodion. she's pretty good with it--she knows that right now, while mommy isn't feeling well, that we watch/rest after lunch. she doesn't ask/cry for it at other times, like she did when it was in our living room and on at more sporadic times. i think it is out of sight/out of mind the rest of the day.

so, how hard is it going to be take it away when i'm feeling better? i'm hoping that when the sickness passes i'll be good without the rest, but if not, will 8 months of this really get her hooked/be damaging? i hate the situation...i don't have family in town nor do i have close enough friends to ask someone else to take over daily, and dh works full time and is in grad school full time. i just struggle with the taking care of myself/damaging dd mental argument. can anyone suggest programs on dvd that aren't too bad. we do have a few gaiam yoga kids videos/signing time for those crappy weather days, but they don't hold her attention enough for me to rest. sadly, i'm looking for something that will be entertaining for her, enough that i can close my eyes for at lest a half hour a day.


mountain loving, nursing, homebirthing mama to beany (12.05), zoomy (4.09), and one more in january.
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#2 of 7 Old 09-27-2008, 08:36 PM
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I think in life you have to be flexible. This is only a tempthing, as soon as you feel better you can go back to the usual amount/none.

There's only so much you can do, you are human. Try your best, then let yourself be gentle with yourself. Once you feel better you can adjust...early preg is rough on some people!

I like PBS kids sprout, and noggin has some good shows, or maybe videos your child especially enjoys? Big hugs to you, btdt! We also ate alot of Amy's spinach pizza my first tri with a toddler running around...
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#3 of 7 Old 09-27-2008, 10:49 PM
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We go back and forth ... no tv ... a LOT of tv ... one show a day ... my dd's are 4 & 8, and they know that Mommy is always changing the rules. They don't argue. I'm pregnant, too, and there are days when all I want to do is SLEEP, so when I want to sleep, the girls get to watch tv. That's ok with me. It's safe.

We use Tivo to make tv limits. We record shows that are acceptable, and that's all they get to watch. They are not allowed to watch commercials, and until the oldest learned how to use the remote, they just turned the tv off at the end of the show.

Their shows are limited mainly to channels that don't have ads in the middle of the kids' shows. Our favorites are Sunny Patch (about bugs), Max & Ruby, Arthur, Clifford, Blues Clues, Reading between the Lions, SLOW cartoons. Now that Annie is older, I let her watch Cyberchase and some other "educational" stuff - more variety shows - they also love Little House on the Prairie, Dirty Jobs, Mythbusters, cooking, decorating, nature, other shows. Yes, we have cable. I like that they're exploring other shows. I wouldn't suggest those when you are trying to sleep, though, unless you don't mind the advertisements ... Annie can control the remote and forwards through them all (or "rewind" as they both say )

Videos that worked for us were any type of singing children collections - Cedermont Kids were our favorites. I don't like the commercialized PBS and Disney videos because they are full of advertising at the beginning - very annoying. Even though they watch those cartoons and know the characters, we have never had big issues with wanting toys with them. We went through a short Blues Clues phase before we remembered that "we" were the parents, and we didn't have to buy the stuff!

oh - and I do not like Dora, Little Bill, or Elmo & most of Sesame St. I'm sure there are others - but we don't experiment much with the cartoons.


Mama to 3 girls 12,8,3
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#4 of 7 Old 09-30-2008, 02:48 AM
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We have moved in with my parents for a year (almost 3 months into it) and I am appaled by my own lack of ability to control my DD tv habits. I keep telling myself it is OK, i am not going to 'ruin' her, I just need to let it go for everyones mental health. In our situation however, I know that when a year is up, we are moving back into our house where we will once again have no tv, and I look forward to the day with joy.

Go Green I don't vax either, why mess with perfect?
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#5 of 7 Old 09-30-2008, 09:02 AM - Thread Starter
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yeah, i think that is the only reason that i'm somewhat ok with it--that there is a time limit on it. i'm not going to be sick and pregnant forever, in other words, that is the only reason we're living this way.

thanks for all the responses!

mountain loving, nursing, homebirthing mama to beany (12.05), zoomy (4.09), and one more in january.
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#6 of 7 Old 10-12-2008, 02:29 AM
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I have so much sympathy for you!

I kept my son TVfree until I got horribly sick. I still regret it, but I also know that if I don't put on a show for him and let myself rest when I need to, I will relapse and he won't have a mom.

It won't be like this for my grandchildren. I will be there and more people will have learned that TV is destructive for littles and mothers won't be so alone.
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#7 of 7 Old 10-15-2008, 10:41 PM
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Have you tried audio books? There are great stories out there and just because she is young doesn't mean she has to listen to baby books. There isn't anything wrong with those, except they aren't usually a whole hour long and you would have to change the tape/cd. The library usually has a good selection, and you may be able to find some downloads online.

I don't think you are damaging her by letting her watch TV, but if she is showing signs of negative behavior or attachment to it, and wanted to look for other options, its just a suggestion. I wanted to encourage you, that she can easily learn to listen to a book and be just as mesmorized by the story teller as the TV.

We also teach our children to have a room time during the day. Obviously it is a gradual process, but my 8 month old can happily play in his crib for up to an hour, and if I'm in dire need of rest (I'm also in my 1st trimester) it works well, and his crib is right next to our bed. So if he does need me, I'm right there.

Erica, wife to Eric, mama to six and expecting our lucky number 7!

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