Workshop #1 - Preconception, Pregnancy, Natural Childbirth, and Midwifery - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#31 of 93 Old 04-07-2008, 09:49 PM
 
Bellabaz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Gex, France
Posts: 843
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My pregnancy was unplanned but welcomed. I had a fantastic, uncomplicated pregnancy. My birth was uneventful as well. I went into labor 11 days overdue. They had tried to induce using Cervadil the night before but nothing happened. My labor was 12 hours start to finish, 2 hours of pushing, epidural for 2 hours (i had not slept the night before being in the hospital and excited at the possibility of seeing my baby soon) and an episiotomy with a hemorrhoid that caused a 3rd degree tear as well. I was and am content with my birth experience and I believe it was the best I could expect given my knowledge at the time. Later on however, I began to question some of the routine things done during my pregnancy and birth.

Since then I have continued to educate myself on birth and I have decided I absolutely want a home birth with a midwife next time. We will also hopefully be living in the Netherlands, where it is very common to birth like this.

I really enjoy reading all the homebirth stories I am finding and this forum and Mothering mag have been great for finding people who are like minded when it comes to believing that birth is a natural process, not a sickness.

Mamma to dd1 3/8/07, one 9.5.08, and dd2 9/9/09
Bellabaz is offline  
#32 of 93 Old 04-07-2008, 10:47 PM
 
Sydnee's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 2,459
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I had three wonderful, amazing hospital births. Honestly. I had the most amazing nurses, and my OB delivered all three of my girls, he was wonderful.

What I DO regret, is the fact that I couldn't do it naturally. With my first two, I went in with the notion of wanting to have natural births, but if I needed the epi, that was ok. And in all honesty, the epi's worked well for me, I waited until I couldn't take the pain anymore, and got them, and within an hour and a half both times, my babies were born. With my third, I had found MDC. I was "fairly" crunchy, breastfed, extended breastfeeding, cloth diapered, wasn't into the whole CIO, used natural remedies, etc. etc. So I was sooo excited to have my first drug free birth! Homebirth was not an option for me, hubby was dead set against it, and I wasn't 100% for it.

I read every natural birthing book I could, and taught DH some things to do for me, as I had back labor with my first two, and suspected I would again. The day I went into labor was wonderful, I was home and did most of my laboring here, in my own home. When the pain got to be too much, I went inot the hospital. I was able to labor in the tub, but after an hour, the pain was too intense, and I opted for the epi, again. In hindsight, I know that I was in transition, because while the epi was being put in, I was ready to push. I didn't NEED that damn epi, and I'm so angry at myself for getting it.: Everyone around thinks it's great that I did labor on my own, but I'm so upset that I couldn't do it completely.

I know that we are done having kids, and I'm really ok with that, I just wish I could have my perfect drug free birth.

And as far as what I did to prepare, I always have been very healthy eater, and exerciser. The biggest thing for me was cutting down on the Southern Comfort.

Busy Mama to three beautiful girls and loving wife to my hubby
Sydnee is offline  
#33 of 93 Old 04-07-2008, 11:50 PM
 
MamaMonica's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: lalalala life goes on
Posts: 13,000
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Sydnee, your births were perfect, drug-free or not. I wish I had a perfect homebrth with no tearing- but tore both times and vomitted on my friend the second time. It was so not picture perfect. I screamed "I hate you!" at my husband during transition when he tried to do a Bradley maneuver. It was still great but I'm glad there's no video

To prepare? I didn't get pregnant for seven months the first time and had given up trying and preparing. I thought I had horrible PMS so was popping PMS vitamins for two weeks before I realized I was pregnant.

Being right is not always fair, but being fair is always right
MamaMonica is offline  
#34 of 93 Old 04-07-2008, 11:54 PM
 
Sydnee's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 2,459
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
You are absolutely right, for me they were perfect. And part of the reason why I wouldn't want a homebirth is for the fact that in the hospital I am waited on hand and foot and meals are even cooked for me!!!!!

I think for me, just reading some of the homebirth posts, and how magical, and perfect they were, and how they knew that they did it on their own, leaves a bitter taste in my mouth, like I failed somehow with giving birth.

Busy Mama to three beautiful girls and loving wife to my hubby
Sydnee is offline  
#35 of 93 Old 04-08-2008, 12:09 AM
 
Arwyn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Twitter, RMB, PDX
Posts: 16,839
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sydnee View Post
You are absolutely right, for me they were perfect. And part of the reason why I wouldn't want a homebirth is for the fact that in the hospital I am waited on hand and foot and meals are even cooked for me!!!!!

I think for me, just reading some of the homebirth posts, and how magical, and perfect they were, and how they knew that they did it on their own, leaves a bitter taste in my mouth, like I failed somehow with giving birth.
No, no failure. Homebirths can be magical (as can hospital births, as can cesareans), and they can be mundane, and they can be traumatic, and they can be mixes of all that and more. Homebirth and natural birth in general are about optimizing the odds in favor of health, and of respecting women and our power and the amazing things our bodies do - if everything turned out well, if you felt supported and respected, that's all that matters for your particular birth. There's no need to compare births, and every reason not to.




And for what it's worth (about what you paid for it!) I was pretty well waited on at my homebirth, and got cooked for and cleaned up after and everything.
Arwyn is offline  
#36 of 93 Old 04-08-2008, 02:27 AM
 
flapjack's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: England, easily locatable by Google
Posts: 13,642
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I've had five homebirths, and all of them there is something I wish I'd done differently. Mostly it's babies being born in the wrong place because I get a fight-or-flight reflex when I hit transition and start literally running away from my labour- so I've had two kids on the toilet and one on an unwaterproofed white cotton duvet.

Helen mum to five and mistress of mess and mayhem, making merry and mischief til the sun goes down.
flapjack is offline  
#37 of 93 Old 04-08-2008, 08:02 PM
 
arwenevenstar's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Was CT, Edinburgh, UK, now Oxfordshire.
Posts: 589
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
This is a great idea!

I too have been on a journey that certainly evolved after the birth of my first child and is continuing to evolve on a daily basis.

With my first child I think I was probably a long way from the person I am now, I had no preconceived ideas about what I wanted from this, I was just ready to do whatever the doctors told me to do really. My membrane ruptured some 48 hours before my son was eventually born and contractions didn't really start for some 20 - 30 hours later. Rather than accepting that, or even reading up on it, I was so excited and such a novice to all this, that I just sat in bed waiting for it to all start.......which of course it didn't and by then I was so exhausted anyway. So......to cut a very long story very short, he was born by vacuum extraction, I had an epidural, which didn't work down one side and triggered an asthma attack and then I was stitched inefficiently after an episiotomy that two years later my doc told me to either get pregnant again and hope to god I tore in the same place and it healed better, or they would repair it for me it was that bad! I remember the hospital being dark and dim so god only knows what the hell the doctor stitching me up was seeing?

We did bond, it did take time and breastfeeding wasn't the piece of cake I was expecting either. I did have some minor depression too, all related now I know.

Fast forward two years and baby number two was born in a far more gentle way. No drugs, no inductions, no interventions, just me, my ball, dh and my midwife. He wasn't born at home, but at a birthing center. He changed my outlook on parenting and birth and everything really. He healed me in so many ways. MamaJen has already mentioned it, but it was the empowerment that was so overwhelming with his birth.
Funnily enough he wasn't the calmest of babies, he fed beautifully and we bonded instantly but he had ear problems (we later discovered he only had around 60% hearing) so I carried him in a sling a lot of the time to soothe him. We had already moved onto cloth diapers before he was born, so I suppose this was step number two.
Step three came when he just would not settle on his own and the only way we could get him to sleep was to co-sleep. Again, this was not something I had much knowledge on or experience and so we learned on the job!

Baby number three was a waterbirth. She was meant to be a home birth but we were relocated to Brussels and the only homebirth team there would not come out to us as we were outside the radius of the area they served. I did a lot of research and with the knowledge that I could do this, it was my body and I wanted to birth the way I wanted to, I needed to find an OB who would support us in our decisions for a natural birth and eventually found a fairly cooperative one who had actually trained in the UK, so was aware of holistic, mother led birth!

I was left alone with my dh for most of her birth and eventually caught her myself (well, she floated really) whilst the labor nurse had rushed off to get the OB ("you can't push until she gets here!" was the comment she passed as she left the room - yup - okay - got ya!)

Anyway, we did all the same for dd (in fact, even now at three, she still sleeps in with us, she has a mattress on the floor in our room).....we have moved so far from the birth of ds1 8 years ago.

We are hoping to have one more child one day, I recently suffered a missed miscarriage so am currently healing from that....I truly hope to have a happy story. Obviously a home birth will be our goal for this dream.

You know, with the previous births, I didn't really do much preparation for conception........again, the usual extra couple of glasses were a big help in the actual deed, but I was so sure I was going to have another each time after the last, that I probably didn't even lose that extra pound or two of baby weight.

This time, I have lost all the baby weight and more as there is a much larger gap between now, I took pre natals, gave dh vitamins etc, stayed off coffee and alcohol and.........well...........nature is just that........nature - it has a funny way sometimes!!

With regards to crunch as a family, we are a little soggy at times, I mean we eat organically, recycle, we have a pretty good selection of toxin free cleaning stuff, but I still sometimes will whip out the bleach first or jump in the car over getting on my bike. But that is what I love about this parenting lark, you have the expansion room........I am so pleased I found mothering though, so many of ideas come from here and it often helps me re evaluate or get back on the wagon when I occasionally fall off!!
arwenevenstar is offline  
#38 of 93 Old 04-08-2008, 08:54 PM
 
QueenOfTheMeadow's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: with the wildlife
Posts: 18,213
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 10 Post(s)
I've had 4 pregnancies and 3 live births. Only one of them was natural. My middle birth. My first birth, I was totally unprepared. I ended up with pitocin, an epidural, and thankfully, just ended up with a vaginal birth. My midwife grabbed me, made me look her in the eyes at the end and said, "We need to get this baby out now, one way or another." I still laugh at how that brought me around from, "This is hurting so bad I think I'd rather die", to "alright, let's get this done". And out he came, posterior all the way! LOL! I can still see his little face and teh bubble he blew from his nose. I'll never forget it.

My second babe wasn't posterior, and I labored for 3 hours at home doing the Bradley Method. Got to the hospital, the midwife got there, and I started pushing. His shoulder got stuck, but fortunately the midwife was able to get him unstuck quickly. To this day, dh and I laugh about the nursing student who kept repeating about how text book everything was, until the shoulder distocia. I wanted to throw a text book at her.

My third birth is probably the one I struggle with the most. My mother, the hypnobirthing instructor, her best friend, my midwife (not the same one that delivered the first two, dh and the nurse were all in the room. All was going well at 7 cm, and then, I started to get self concious with everyone sitting there looking at me. I lost it. Ended up with an epidural because I couldn't get myself back in control. He came out posteriorly too. sigh. I'm not sure I'll ever get over the fact that I caved. I still deal with the guilt of failure, adn then when my 4th and final pregnancy ended in miscarriage, well, it's been a long journey back from feeling like a big loser. But I'm here with 3 healthy little boys. And I still support natural childbirth as the best for mom and baby.

 
QueenOfTheMeadow is offline  
#39 of 93 Old 04-08-2008, 09:20 PM
 
Genesis's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Hogwarts
Posts: 3,415
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by race_kelly View Post

My third birth is probably the one I struggle with the most. My mother, the hypnobirthing instructor, her best friend, my midwife (not the same one that delivered the first two, dh and the nurse were all in the room. All was going well at 7 cm, and then, I started to get self concious with everyone sitting there looking at me. I lost it. Ended up with an epidural because I couldn't get myself back in control. He came out posteriorly too. sigh. I'm not sure I'll ever get over the fact that I caved. I still deal with the guilt of failure, adn then when my 4th and final pregnancy ended in miscarriage, well, it's been a long journey back from feeling like a big loser. But I'm here with 3 healthy little boys. And I still support natural childbirth as the best for mom and baby.
I kind of understand what you mean...at my homebirth, I had my DH, my midwife, my friend, AND my doula there and while I was so grateful and happy to have each of them there, there was a point in my labor when I asked everybody (except DH) to go into the other room for a while because I didn't want to be looked at anymore. I'm assuming this is when I was going into transition.

knit.gifMama to reading.gif  and  babygirl.gif
Genesis is offline  
#40 of 93 Old 04-09-2008, 01:30 AM
 
berkeleyp's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 1,037
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I found out I was pregnant the day after quitting my job and getting REALLY Drunk. I got pregnant on my honeymoon - not planned - not wanted. I almost had an abortion but after interviewing a couple of midwife teams, I decided that keeping the baby was the better plan. I was raised pretty crunchy. My mom had all midwife attended, all natural births. I watched my little brother be born at home when I was 10. I guess homebirth was my norm and as soon as I was pregnant, I knew I would plan a homebirth. Dh was skeptical but was easily convinced with a few conversations and articles about safety. I read loads of books on childbirth and got really into the politics of it. I didn't read enough about labor itself.

9 months later, i went into labor while Dh was at a wedding. I had early labor all night - he didn't come home until really late and hadn't answered his cell phone. In the morning, I called the midwife, thinking that the pains were really strong. Yeah right! The midwives didn't come until late afternoon when I had started active labor. Labor was painful and hard but it never occured to me to want drugs. I was home so it wasn't an option anyway but I never felt like I needed to be saved from the pain. I worked with it as best I could though in retrospect, I could have relaxed more. Late that night, after 3 hours of pushing, mostly ineffectively, my dd was born. We had heard a good heart tone minutes before but she came out dead. Resuscitation efforts by the midwives, the EMT's, and finally the hospital all failed. She was an otherwise healthy 7lb 13oz baby. We will never know what happened.

All I wanted was to get pregnant again. I felt like I just had to try again - like I had failed this time but could do it the next. My midwives said to wait at least three cycles. Me and dh resumed our previously unsuccessful method of birth control : pull and pray. I was pregnant again after my 3rd period post partem, due almost exactly one year after my dd's anniversary.

I wanted another homebirth but dh was pretty against it. We compromised and agreed to have the baby at my midwife's home. Dh went for it because she lived around the corner from a really good hospital (unlike the one near our house). My second dd didn't want anyone worrying about her so she decided to come really fast. I woke up with contractions but though they were Braxton Hicks and she was born 3 hours later in a donut shop bathroom en route to the MW's house.

Now I am pregnant again and contemplating my options. I am seeing the same midwife that assisted me with both my other births. Sadly, her partner moved far away so I am getting to know two new midwives on her team. I am really looking forward to birthing again but am still haunted by the death of my first baby. As this may be my last birth, I really want it to be wonderful.

I love the power of birth - there is nothing better than the moment of birth (even when you are on all-fours in a public restroom with a terrified dh and even more terrified cop who aren't sure how you can turn around to see the baby). With my first, I remember the sheer joy of finding out I had a girl and had pushed her out before I realized that she was gone.

Pregnancy and birth make me feel so connected to the long chain of mothers who came before me and even to animals. Women are blessed to be the bringer's of life. It is so sad to me that so many downplay this awesome life passage and don't experience it to the fullest. I am sad that many or most women don't even know anything about natural childbirth and just blindly listen to their OB's. I am so lucky to have been raised with a picture of birth being natural and not something to be feared. Even giving birth and not having a baby the next day made me feel so connected with all the other mothers who have suffered the loss of a child.
berkeleyp is offline  
#41 of 93 Old 04-09-2008, 01:53 AM
 
Genesis's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Hogwarts
Posts: 3,415
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by berkeleyp View Post
I found out I was pregnant the day after quitting my job and getting REALLY Drunk. I got pregnant on my honeymoon - not planned - not wanted. I almost had an abortion but after interviewing a couple of midwife teams, I decided that keeping the baby was the better plan. I was raised pretty crunchy. My mom had all midwife attended, all natural births. I watched my little brother be born at home when I was 10. I guess homebirth was my norm and as soon as I was pregnant, I knew I would plan a homebirth. Dh was skeptical but was easily convinced with a few conversations and articles about safety. I read loads of books on childbirth and got really into the politics of it. I didn't read enough about labor itself.

9 months later, i went into labor while Dh was at a wedding. I had early labor all night - he didn't come home until really late and hadn't answered his cell phone. In the morning, I called the midwife, thinking that the pains were really strong. Yeah right! The midwives didn't come until late afternoon when I had started active labor. Labor was painful and hard but it never occured to me to want drugs. I was home so it wasn't an option anyway but I never felt like I needed to be saved from the pain. I worked with it as best I could though in retrospect, I could have relaxed more. Late that night, after 3 hours of pushing, mostly ineffectively, my dd was born. We had heard a good heart tone minutes before but she came out dead. Resuscitation efforts by the midwives, the EMT's, and finally the hospital all failed. She was an otherwise healthy 7lb 13oz baby. We will never know what happened.

All I wanted was to get pregnant again. I felt like I just had to try again - like I had failed this time but could do it the next. My midwives said to wait at least three cycles. Me and dh resumed our previously unsuccessful method of birth control : pull and pray. I was pregnant again after my 3rd period post partem, due almost exactly one year after my dd's anniversary.

I wanted another homebirth but dh was pretty against it. We compromised and agreed to have the baby at my midwife's home. Dh went for it because she lived around the corner from a really good hospital (unlike the one near our house). My second dd didn't want anyone worrying about her so she decided to come really fast. I woke up with contractions but though they were Braxton Hicks and she was born 3 hours later in a donut shop bathroom en route to the MW's house.

Now I am pregnant again and contemplating my options. I am seeing the same midwife that assisted me with both my other births. Sadly, her partner moved far away so I am getting to know two new midwives on her team. I am really looking forward to birthing again but am still haunted by the death of my first baby. As this may be my last birth, I really want it to be wonderful.

I love the power of birth - there is nothing better than the moment of birth (even when you are on all-fours in a public restroom with a terrified dh and even more terrified cop who aren't sure how you can turn around to see the baby). With my first, I remember the sheer joy of finding out I had a girl and had pushed her out before I realized that she was gone.

Pregnancy and birth make me feel so connected to the long chain of mothers who came before me and even to animals. Women are blessed to be the bringer's of life. It is so sad to me that so many downplay this awesome life passage and don't experience it to the fullest. I am sad that many or most women don't even know anything about natural childbirth and just blindly listen to their OB's. I am so lucky to have been raised with a picture of birth being natural and not something to be feared. Even giving birth and not having a baby the next day made me feel so connected with all the other mothers who have suffered the loss of a child.
I am so sorry for your loss.

knit.gifMama to reading.gif  and  babygirl.gif
Genesis is offline  
#42 of 93 Old 04-09-2008, 03:59 PM
 
Sydnee's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 2,459
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by arwenevenstar View Post

With regards to crunch as a family, we are a little soggy at times, I mean we eat organically, recycle, we have a pretty good selection of toxin free cleaning stuff, but I still sometimes will whip out the bleach first or jump in the car over getting on my bike. But that is what I love about this parenting lark, you have the expansion room........I am so pleased I found mothering though, so many of ideas come from here and it often helps me re evaluate or get back on the wagon when I occasionally fall off!!

I love this paragraph, I feel the same way. It's almost as if MDC keeps me "in check"!!!

Busy Mama to three beautiful girls and loving wife to my hubby
Sydnee is offline  
#43 of 93 Old 04-09-2008, 04:00 PM
 
Sydnee's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 2,459
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by race_kelly View Post
I've had 4 pregnancies and 3 live births. Only one of them was natural. My middle birth. My first birth, I was totally unprepared. I ended up with pitocin, an epidural, and thankfully, just ended up with a vaginal birth. My midwife grabbed me, made me look her in the eyes at the end and said, "We need to get this baby out now, one way or another." I still laugh at how that brought me around from, "This is hurting so bad I think I'd rather die", to "alright, let's get this done". And out he came, posterior all the way! LOL! I can still see his little face and teh bubble he blew from his nose. I'll never forget it.

My second babe wasn't posterior, and I labored for 3 hours at home doing the Bradley Method. Got to the hospital, the midwife got there, and I started pushing. His shoulder got stuck, but fortunately the midwife was able to get him unstuck quickly. To this day, dh and I laugh about the nursing student who kept repeating about how text book everything was, until the shoulder distocia. I wanted to throw a text book at her.

My third birth is probably the one I struggle with the most. My mother, the hypnobirthing instructor, her best friend, my midwife (not the same one that delivered the first two, dh and the nurse were all in the room. All was going well at 7 cm, and then, I started to get self concious with everyone sitting there looking at me. I lost it. Ended up with an epidural because I couldn't get myself back in control. He came out posteriorly too. sigh. I'm not sure I'll ever get over the fact that I caved. I still deal with the guilt of failure, adn then when my 4th and final pregnancy ended in miscarriage, well, it's been a long journey back from feeling like a big loser. But I'm here with 3 healthy little boys. And I still support natural childbirth as the best for mom and baby.

Busy Mama to three beautiful girls and loving wife to my hubby
Sydnee is offline  
#44 of 93 Old 04-09-2008, 04:01 PM
 
Sydnee's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 2,459
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by berkeleyp View Post
I found out I was pregnant the day after quitting my job and getting REALLY Drunk. I got pregnant on my honeymoon - not planned - not wanted. I almost had an abortion but after interviewing a couple of midwife teams, I decided that keeping the baby was the better plan. I was raised pretty crunchy. My mom had all midwife attended, all natural births. I watched my little brother be born at home when I was 10. I guess homebirth was my norm and as soon as I was pregnant, I knew I would plan a homebirth. Dh was skeptical but was easily convinced with a few conversations and articles about safety. I read loads of books on childbirth and got really into the politics of it. I didn't read enough about labor itself.

9 months later, i went into labor while Dh was at a wedding. I had early labor all night - he didn't come home until really late and hadn't answered his cell phone. In the morning, I called the midwife, thinking that the pains were really strong. Yeah right! The midwives didn't come until late afternoon when I had started active labor. Labor was painful and hard but it never occured to me to want drugs. I was home so it wasn't an option anyway but I never felt like I needed to be saved from the pain. I worked with it as best I could though in retrospect, I could have relaxed more. Late that night, after 3 hours of pushing, mostly ineffectively, my dd was born. We had heard a good heart tone minutes before but she came out dead. Resuscitation efforts by the midwives, the EMT's, and finally the hospital all failed. She was an otherwise healthy 7lb 13oz baby. We will never know what happened.

All I wanted was to get pregnant again. I felt like I just had to try again - like I had failed this time but could do it the next. My midwives said to wait at least three cycles. Me and dh resumed our previously unsuccessful method of birth control : pull and pray. I was pregnant again after my 3rd period post partem, due almost exactly one year after my dd's anniversary.

I wanted another homebirth but dh was pretty against it. We compromised and agreed to have the baby at my midwife's home. Dh went for it because she lived around the corner from a really good hospital (unlike the one near our house). My second dd didn't want anyone worrying about her so she decided to come really fast. I woke up with contractions but though they were Braxton Hicks and she was born 3 hours later in a donut shop bathroom en route to the MW's house.

Now I am pregnant again and contemplating my options. I am seeing the same midwife that assisted me with both my other births. Sadly, her partner moved far away so I am getting to know two new midwives on her team. I am really looking forward to birthing again but am still haunted by the death of my first baby. As this may be my last birth, I really want it to be wonderful.

I love the power of birth - there is nothing better than the moment of birth (even when you are on all-fours in a public restroom with a terrified dh and even more terrified cop who aren't sure how you can turn around to see the baby). With my first, I remember the sheer joy of finding out I had a girl and had pushed her out before I realized that she was gone.

Pregnancy and birth make me feel so connected to the long chain of mothers who came before me and even to animals. Women are blessed to be the bringer's of life. It is so sad to me that so many downplay this awesome life passage and don't experience it to the fullest. I am sad that many or most women don't even know anything about natural childbirth and just blindly listen to their OB's. I am so lucky to have been raised with a picture of birth being natural and not something to be feared. Even giving birth and not having a baby the next day made me feel so connected with all the other mothers who have suffered the loss of a child.
I'm so sorry for your loss, mama. Thank you for sharing that with us.

Busy Mama to three beautiful girls and loving wife to my hubby
Sydnee is offline  
#45 of 93 Old 04-10-2008, 04:07 PM
 
tex.mom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Katy, TX
Posts: 243
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Natural birth definitely led me to more natural living and still is. Natural birth always seemed the most logical to me, but I didn't know a lot. A professor I admired had spoken positively about it and she also discussed the concepts of attachment parenting though I don't remember her specifically using that term.

So with my first I went in search of a doula, no references, just found someone and chose an OB practice loosely based on a few recommendations of who/which hosptial would be most conducive to NCB. It still really really wasn't good enough, and with my second hubby conceded (as we were both growing toward a more natural lifestyle in general) and I had a beautiful waterbirth with a local midwife.

We're still getting there but realizing all of these concepts are intertwined. We're odd-man-out in our close knit families so the process has been gradual, two steps forward one back sometimes.
tex.mom is offline  
#46 of 93 Old 04-13-2008, 05:35 PM
 
Faliciagayle's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: New York State
Posts: 2,179
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I love this thread! Thank you for sharing, mamas.

I knew two mamas before I got pg, both had CS for their first births and VBACs for the subsequent births. One lives in the UK and was attended by midwives (at the time I didn't know how different MW care in the UK is from in the US), so I'd been talking about pregnancy, birth, and what not for a while.

Preconception: We wanted to start TTC, so I had the IUD I'd worn for 6 years removed in November 2007. I conceived in December 2007 and found out in January 2008. I had been taking Folic Acid for a few months and was extremely active physically. Other than that, I wasn't doing anything different preconception.

Pregnancy: Was amazing! I continued with my triathlete lifestyle all 42 weeks. She was born on a Wednesday, and I had ridden my bike Sunday and swam Monday. I had an idea that I would do a natural birth, in a birth center, but nothing existed like that where I had moved to. I started going to an OB, but I had this nagging feeling something was wrong. Kept reading, in fact I had read Ina May's GTCB before the OB, and decided to start interviewing MW and considering homebirth. I thought I miscarried at 5 weeks, hormonal testing and US confirmed the PG at 10 weeks. After that, I only saw a MW.

Natural Childbirth: Was just something I guess I took for granted. My mom birthed my sister and I in the 70s drug free, then breast fed, and cloth diapered us. That said, the family was pretty surprised by the homebirth idea, but they didn't fight us on it. The ILS were harder to convince. The birth story is here. Baruch HaShem I become pregnant again, I would love to birth at home again.

I wouldn't say that our birth experience led us into natural family living ~ we're from a progressive coastal CA town so we'd been eating organic, trying to reduce our carbon footprint, living green, for a while. I was led to "Mothering" through my search for homebirth resources, which introduced us to the whole AP thing. We practice AP, I advocate for all parts of it, but I have to say - Attachment Parenting can be extremely prescriptive. I find, especially on these forums, such fear that new moms (especially) are doing something wrong if they don't 100% embrace EVERY aspect of AP. There is no one way to parent. There might be what we consider a more gentle, attuned, child centered way to parent, but not all children respond the same way. That said, any time I talk to non AP parents, I have to fight from doing this every time they say something about parenting. I was talking in my DDC recently about how I didn't realize how anti mainstream AP and MCD is/was until after I had my baby... I took for granted a lot of the lifestyle.

My babies were born at home! 09/07, 01/10, and 09/12 joy.gif

Faliciagayle is offline  
#47 of 93 Old 04-13-2008, 07:36 PM
 
kungfufugirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: AZ
Posts: 132
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by annettemarie View Post
What do you do to get ready before you're actually pregnant?

I am finally at a time in my life when I am actually realizing that LESS is MORE....less STUFF, less MEDICINE, less "Health Care", less interventions, less junk food, less preservatives, less chemicals, etc.....

But also find myself unable to conceive naturally due to my husband's extremely low sperm count, and oddly shaped, lazy swimmers.

<Sigh> So we are resigned to using IVF with ICSI and AH if we want children. The good news is it has worked out well for us once, and wonderfully too! Gracie was born Feb 2007, and we'd like to have another, so I find myself being grateful for this medical process, and the oddly funny thing is, I had just come to a point in my life when I didn't think a pill would solve everything, even to the point of avoiding tylenol! :nana:

Medicine.....and the Science thereof is definitely my friend in need. I think that could apply to many aspects of health, from fertility, to pregnancy & Childbirth, and from the common cold to cancer. We'd be better off to let our bodies do what they can in their natural processes, but thankful to medicine when we truly do need it.

Sooooo......in preparation of my upcoming IVF cycle (late May or June)', I have just started accupuncture again (would NEVER stop if only I could afford it!), Stopped all use of the junky like foods that I sometimes get into the habit of eating when working 12 hour night shifts....soda among the biggest transgression.....and I am slowing weaning myself from the 16 oz coffee per day habit that I developed while trying to work nights....down to 4 oz now!!! I have scaled back my normally vigorous exercise routine so as to allow for more "chi" to flow through my ovaries, and less to the muscles.....OH and quit that awful night shift....NOCS are hard on the body!!!! My accu doc says I'm dehydrated and my chi : is NOT balanced--and of that I believe he is absolutely right, so I am drinking more water (easier to do without coffee and soda in the way) and taking some herbals to balance that chi.

Also trying to reduce the stress in my life....tying up odds and ends....and surrounding myself with positive thoughts and stories about pregnancy and birth .....many of which I am finding here!!!! to all who have shared so far!)

~jo
OB RN, Certified Birth Educator, Certified Doula, Certified Breastfeeding Counselor

Mom to Gracie, 14 mo from IVF #1 and Sean:, 15 y naturally conceived but from a previous marraige
kungfufugirl is offline  
#48 of 93 Old 04-14-2008, 12:10 PM
 
waterjen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: West MI
Posts: 205
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
How did you prepare for becoming pregnant?

My journey toward a healthy pregnancy began five years ago when I took a workshop as a yoga teacher on Pregnancy and Yoga. It was a week long workshop in San Francisco, and the yoga part wasn't so valuable or helpful actually, but both a Labor and Delivery Nurse with 30 years experience and a Doula were present to educate us about birth and pregnancy. It was the first time I heard about "interventions" and the nurse explained that every ten years procedures changed, and were found to be not helpful in actually supporting healthy birth and mom and baby. I got the message: stay out of the hospital if you're healthy. I did my own research and learned how it's safer for low-risk pregnancy to actually stay at home. I also read a lot of interesting things about the depth of reasons why it's important for mom and baby to be with each other after the birth. By the time I met my husband I had some strong ideas about what I needed to feel not only safe and secure in birth but also do right by the being we would bring into the world, and he was on board when we decided to conceive this year.
We went to India first where I was able to study yoga for two months with my teacher's teachers ( a dream for over 8 years), our marriage felt so safe, stable, loving, my yoga school felt stable, his job felt stable, and we were ready to move into a house.... We waited for a few months after I got back from India, a healthy medical exam, I didn't drink, do drugs and or meds before, ate mainly vegetarian, organic food as much as possible, but we looked into deep cleaning our environment of other chemcials as well, reading Organic Pregnancy...found Mothering magazine at the supermarket and started researching on the website...before we conceived I knew of a highly recommended CP midwife and had an appt with her for an interview shortly after we learned we conceived.

Quote:
Originally Posted by grumpybear View Post
What I would like to hear/learn from others would be how you took care of yourself during pregnancy. What were your practices during pregnancy to ensure or at least try to have the healthiest pregnancy possible.
I am cutting back on how much teaching I do. I stopped driving and running errands (by myself). I rest during the day, take walks, walk to my yoga school and teach classes in the evening and/or morning... I keep positive and stay in positive atmospheres. I don't interact with the public that much--it's shocking what negative things people will say about the pregnancy--so I try to limit my exposure to certain groups of people. What happens to my brain/hormones through stress effects the baby, and I feel like I'm guarding this person right now from negative influences. I stay really connected to my family. I openly discussed with them our choice to have a homebirth and all the different sets of parents are on-board and supportive. I have a supportive midwife. I read so many books during preconception, and continue to read and research obsessively. We learned early on that my emotional stress rises when we watch movies/shows that are too suspenseful or if I read too intense/dramatic books, so we are being selective in what I "take" in... I try to be in nature. I try to listen to relaxing and inspiring music. The mothering forum provides so much support and community!
waterjen is offline  
#49 of 93 Old 04-14-2008, 05:42 PM
 
jazzybaby9's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Colorado
Posts: 982
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My DD was concieved when I was newly 18. DP was my first sexual partner and when I found out I was pg I cried for weeks. I wasn't taking good care of myself before I found out, but when I did, I threw my cigarettes in the trash and never looked back. During the first few weeks before I found out, I had a strange feeling that I needed to quit smoking and drinking, etc. I had just started school for eastern and alternative medicine, energy work and bodywork healing practices. I had dreams of her before she was born. I basically went into hiding during my entrie pregnancy. It was time for me to transform into a nurturing, loving human being. I baked, I cleaned, I wrote, I did yoga and meditated. The only time I was really social was at school or at my baby shower (which was family only, except a few close friends). I ate organic and drank only water and juices. I never touched caffeine or junk food. I focused purely on my needs and my baby's needs. People think I'm crazy when I say I have never been more emotionally and mentally stable in my entire life as I was when I was pregnant. I was calm and never raised my voice. I treated everyone and everything with respect, it was very strange for me...being the "teenaged hellion" I once was. I have now opened my own business "Full Moon Belly" Prenatal, Postpartum & Infant massage. I am also planning on becoming a certified birth and postpartum Doula. I love everything about being a mother and I want to share that with others. I refused to attend any birthing classes for fear of disrupting my natural ability to birth my daughter. I named her Aiyana Autumn. She was born on the Harvest Moon and here is her birth story:

The Birth of Aiyana Autumn!
Newly 19 and spilling out at the seams, I rolled out of the night and into the early morning. After weeks of false labor and trying everything from walking to spicy foods, I was 9 days overdue and my body ached with anticipation My olive skin was stretched taut over hiccupping life and churning limbs. I waddled my way to the toilet, wishing my grandmother a good morning on the way. I was calm and my mind was clear. My movements seemed more steady and intentional rather than the usual clumsy, pregnant stance I had grown accustomed to. There was something different with the way I carried myself that morning. Maybe it was because I was nervous about getting labor induced the next morning or maybe it was because I subconsciously knew I was already in the beginning of natural labor. For weeks before this day I had been anxious and frustrated that I was still pregnant, but this day was different. I relieved my what-seemed-to-be-full bladder and ran the bathtub faucet, dipping my legs into the pooling water. My grandmother had homemade a labor-inducing concoction of essential oils and I poured it into the swirling water around my full-moon belly. Glistening stripes of collagen gleamed at my hips and thighs. My breasts impatiently awaited a suckling mouth. My mind wandered to the appointment I had scheduled the next morning. The doctor had suggested I get induced since the baby was overdue and I was uncomfortable. I laid back in the tub as the contractions began. I knew all along she'd come in her own time, but I let the doctors say what they wanted. The contractions came slow and soft. Like a long-awaited whisper. I breathed in the soothing thoughts that surrounded my mind and exhaled nothing but trust in my body. The natural rhythm took over as I rocked my hips into the smooth porcelain. Knowing my child was on her way was utterly orgasmic. Taking time to relax and ready myself for the long day ahead, I watched the clear ripples radiate from my first-time pregnant belly. It was the last time I would be in that bathtub with a baby in utero. I sighed and climbed out of the tub and dressed myself. My mother arrived to take us to the clinic where they referred us to the hospital right away. The car ride was obnoxious to say the least. For once in my life, I felt every rock & twig on the asphalt. Finally, we arrived at Lutheran Medical Center, my daughter's birthplace.

Dressed in the dull, blue hospital gown I laid on the bed clenching through contractions; my partner, my mother, my grandmother & aunt at my side. After many months of telling them they could experience the birth along with me, I finally realized I needed to be alone. I needed to give birth on my own. I sent them into the waiting room so I could focus on myself and the tiny person inside of me. Once the room was clear of frantic and anxious energy, I let Mother Nature do her work. She twisted at the soles of my feet, climbing higher, growing into my ankles and knees, bringing blossoming vines of tranquility. The contractions grew stronger, more frequent. The nurse said a Doula happened to be on duty that day; I had her bring her in. Having no childbirth classes during my pregnancy, I was thankful to see a beautiful, expecting Doula at my side.

I made my way to the Jacuzzi tub. Slipping into the familiar warmth of the water and remembering I had taken two baths a day while pregnant. I am a creature of the water. I felt at peace as the pressure of the jets massaged my back and hips. I breathed slow and deep. I slid through the water like a round-bellied mermaid. Back and forth, front to back. The pain was beautiful. I knew it meant progress. By this time, I had been in labor for a few solid hours. After a contraction subsided, I opened my eyes to see not one, but two Doulas observing me. One had tears in her eyes and the other a look of pure excitement. The pregnant Doula wiped the tears from her face and told me how beautiful this scene was and she was happy she was a part of it. She told me her shift was over and that the new Doula was here to stay for awhile. I laughed. Throughout my labor, I laughed. I'm not sure what brought it on, but it felt good to laugh between contractions. I knew what I was doing without ever going to a childbirth class. I knew it would be all right. I knew my body could be trusted to deliver my baby safely into the world.

I stayed in the water for awhile, until the contractions picked up suddenly. It rocked me at the core. I wondered what the tiny being in my womb was experiencing. We were in this together and the comfort swelled inside of me; my chest warm, and pulsating with love for my unborn child. My long, deep breaths became suddenly shallow and sharp. The pain was contracting in on me, wrenching my body and shaking my bones. I felt sick. The Doula handed me a bed pan and I filled it with stomach acid and melted ice chips. I quickly remembered I had not eaten for around 10 hours as I wretched again. Another contraction came swiftly and heavily. The first Doula left and the new one took my hand and helped me from the tub and into my hospital gown. She then introduced me to the birth ball. My legs felt too weak to play on it for long. I rolled it between my thighs, opening my hips so her head could lower into place. Finding no relief from the ball, I found the birthing bar and gripped it, my knuckles turning white as another contraction bared down on me. It came crushing from my abdomen and found the palms of my hands, sweating and sticky on the bar. A scream escaped my lungs, the Doula corrected me immediately. She told me to channel that energy into breathing, into focusing on the progress I was making. I paced the floor, letting the laboring energy flow through me. I went to use the toilet and found I had lost my mucous plug. I returned to the bed to recieve my next dose of antibiotics for my Strep B.

The progress seemed incredibly slow as the nurse checked my cervix and reported the dilation. At this point, I was beginning to tire. After all this time and pain, it still wasn't time to push. I began to question whether or not I could do this without easing the pain somehow. I pulled my mind out of my body, still controlling the pain and handling it as best I could. I planted my feet into the cold linoleum of the hospital floor and let the roots grow from my toes. Moaning and panting, trying desperately to find some relief from the constant sickening pain. It was like nothing I had ever felt before. I had created and nourished life inside my swelling belly and it was time to let this tiny person take her first breath. I climbed back onto the bed, frustrated, yet refusing to let exhaustion set in. This was my time; this was our time. I faced the back of the bed, gripping onto the thin mattress. I screamed again, but quickly turned it into a deep moan; I steadied myself; deep breath in, deep breath out. The contractions were taking over like internal earthquakes. It was getting harder and harder to stay strong and stable. I was shaking, I was dizzy and I was falling fast. The nurse grabbed an oxygen mask and held it to my face. I panted into it, inhaling the sweet scent and imagined it nourishing my baby girl. Transition had been wringing my body for hours. My cervix was stuck at 9 centimeters for what seemed like eternity. I just wanted her out. I was done with this. Exhaustion flooded every pore in my body. I swayed. I had reached the point of wanting to give up. Every natural birth reaches this point before or around 8 to 10 centimeters. I wanted to rest, but the contractions were on top of each other with no break in between. I felt crippled as another contraction swept over me. I yelled out, clutching the bed again. A minute later, it passed. The Doula fed me a spoonful of orange gelatin. I swished it on my sticky tongue and swallowed. It came back up immediately. I cried from weakness. I was trembling; tears welling in my eyes. The nurse checked my cervix again and I was finally at a 9.5. I cringed, my toes curling as another contraction enveloped me entirely. Gasping into the mask, I brushed it aside and moved to the end of the bed. I was stuck at a 9.5 for over an hour or so. I was upset that the lip of my cervix was still lingering. I wanted to push. I need to push! I wanted so badly to push, but I had to hold back for fear of swelling my cervix and delaying the birth even longer. I looked into the Doula's eyes and pleaded for some sort of relief. She massaged my hips, compressing my waist with her palms. I can't do this. Oh, help me. Please, help me. I had been in hard labor all day and the sun was setting quickly outside the hospital window. The nurse checked me several more times between contractions before I finally hit 10 centimeters and could begin pushing. The descent of the baby was sluggish. I pushed and pushed with what seemed like no advancement. The Doula said her head was stuck behind my pubic bone. She told me to rock her head beneath it and bear down. I did as instructed with nothing to show for it. Her head would lower a little and rise right back up as I stopped pushing. I felt fluid gush between my legs. I was excited thinking it was my bag of waters until the nurse told me it was not the sac, it was urine. I was discouraged my water hadn't broken yet. I wondered how much longer I would be in labor if my water refused to break. The nurse told me my cervix was open and the sac was bulging. I wanted to be done with this. I wanted her out and in my arms. I was so worn out I didn't care if the nurse had to get involved. She got the doctor and said the baby would be delivered within the hour. I sighed deeply as yet another contraction took over. I was at a halt. I tensed up and held my breath waiting for the end to come. As the contraction subsided the doctor asked if she could break my water. I wailed, yes! Yes, yes, please break my water. She grabbed what looked like a crotchet needle and water drenched my thighs. She said the water was green from meconium and it was good we broke the water when we did. My baby had passed her first bowel movement in utero. Ah, a sigh of relief escaped my lips as her head lowered and another contraction took hold. My lungs seized up. I couldn't breathe in as she made the decent into the birth canal. The pain, oh the pain; it was almost unbearable and yet I dove deep into my mind, into my body and breathed through it. I pushed with all I had in me. Every drop of strength poured into pushing, into delivering this baby. She still wouldn't make her appearance, though I pushed for over an hour. The doctor recommended she put her fingers in and tear me. I focused on where her fingers met my flesh and pushed with everything I had. After a few more pushes her head began to crown. The Doula spoke to me in low tones. She told me her ears and cheeks were out. I cried. It burned and twisted between my thighs as I pushed until her shoulders emerged. Her body slid out into the doctors arms at 7:47 PM and was set on my abdomen.

I shook as I held her, the chills taking over me as my child looked deep into my eyes. Dark, black slits peered up at the mother who carried her for 10 months and brought her safe and sound into this new world. I wept and laughed all at once. I was holding onto my newborn child for the first time. Relief flooded my limbs. The doctor asked if I wanted to cut the cord. And I did. I cut her umbilical cord, separating the tiny being from my insides. She no longer needed my womb for nourishment. My baby moon began on September 26, 2007, the night of the harvest moon. The doctor began to stitch me up right after I delivered the placenta. It all happened so quickly. Gallons of crimson fluid painted the picture of perfection. I was grateful for the wonderful encouragement of my Doula. My baby girl and I had worked together as a team; After more than 12 hours of all natural labor, she was here, she was finally here.

After the family entered the room to see her, she was weighed and rinsed. She weighed at 8lbs 7oz and was 20.5 inches long. After everyone greeted her and held her, she took to the breast right away. She was the most beautiful, sweet-natured baby I had ever seen. Sleeping soundly in my arms and suckling at my no longer impatient breasts, was my first born daughter, Aiyana Autumn.

a purring heart protruding beneath my navel
sucking at my womb & glowing flesh
no longer a selfish being
feeding tiny limbs before myself
nutrients flows to create
life
gulping
at
milky breasts

-Jasmine Nichole



We are well on our way!

gd.gif winner.jpgteapot2.GIF placenta.gif caffix.gif

Young mama, student midwife, student herbalist, doula, massage therapist.

Aspiring homesteader & beekeeper.

jazzybaby9 is offline  
#50 of 93 Old 04-14-2008, 05:48 PM
 
arwenevenstar's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Was CT, Edinburgh, UK, now Oxfordshire.
Posts: 589
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by jazzybaby9 View Post
My DD was concieved when I was newly 18. DP was my first sexual partner and when I found out I was pg I cried for weeks. I wasn't taking good care of myself before I found out, but when I did, I threw my cigarettes in the trash and never looked back. During the first few weeks before I found out, I had a strange feeling that I needed to quit smoking and drinking, etc. I had just started school for eastern and alternative medicine, energy work and bodywork healing practices. I had dreams of her before she was born. I basically went into hiding during my entrie pregnancy. It was time for me to transform into a nurturing, loving human being. I baked, I cleaned, I wrote, I did yoga and meditated. The only time I was really social was at school or at my baby shower (which was family only, except a few close friends). I ate organic and drank only water and juices. I never touched caffeine or junk food. I focused purely on my needs and my baby's needs. People think I'm crazy when I say I have never been more emotionally and mentally stable in my entire life as I was when I was pregnant. I was calm and never raised my voice. I treated everyone and everything with respect, it was very strange for me...being the "teenaged hellion" I once was. I have now opened my own business "Full Moon Belly" Prenatal, Postpartum & Infant massage. I am also planning on becoming a certified birth and postpartum Doula. I love everything about being a mother and I want to share that with others. I refused to attend any birthing classes for fear of disrupting my natural ability to birth my daughter. I named her Aiyana Autumn. She was born on the Harvest Moon and here is her birth story:

The Birth of Aiyana Autumn!
Newly 19 and spilling out at the seams, I rolled out of the night and into the early morning. After weeks of false labor and trying everything from walking to spicy foods, I was 9 days overdue and my body ached with anticipation My olive skin was stretched taut over hiccupping life and churning limbs. I waddled my way to the toilet, wishing my grandmother a good morning on the way. I was calm and my mind was clear. My movements seemed more steady and intentional rather than the usual clumsy, pregnant stance I had grown accustomed to. There was something different with the way I carried myself that morning. Maybe it was because I was nervous about getting labor induced the next morning or maybe it was because I subconsciously knew I was already in the beginning of natural labor. For weeks before this day I had been anxious and frustrated that I was still pregnant, but this day was different. I relieved my what-seemed-to-be-full bladder and ran the bathtub faucet, dipping my legs into the pooling water. My grandmother had homemade a labor-inducing concoction of essential oils and I poured it into the swirling water around my full-moon belly. Glistening stripes of collagen gleamed at my hips and thighs. My breasts impatiently awaited a suckling mouth. My mind wandered to the appointment I had scheduled the next morning. The doctor had suggested I get induced since the baby was overdue and I was uncomfortable. I laid back in the tub as the contractions began. I knew all along she'd come in her own time, but I let the doctors say what they wanted. The contractions came slow and soft. Like a long-awaited whisper. I breathed in the soothing thoughts that surrounded my mind and exhaled nothing but trust in my body. The natural rhythm took over as I rocked my hips into the smooth porcelain. Knowing my child was on her way was utterly orgasmic. Taking time to relax and ready myself for the long day ahead, I watched the clear ripples radiate from my first-time pregnant belly. It was the last time I would be in that bathtub with a baby in utero. I sighed and climbed out of the tub and dressed myself. My mother arrived to take us to the clinic where they referred us to the hospital right away. The car ride was obnoxious to say the least. For once in my life, I felt every rock & twig on the asphalt. Finally, we arrived at Lutheran Medical Center, my daughter's birthplace.

Dressed in the dull, blue hospital gown I laid on the bed clenching through contractions; my partner, my mother, my grandmother & aunt at my side. After many months of telling them they could experience the birth along with me, I finally realized I needed to be alone. I needed to give birth on my own. I sent them into the waiting room so I could focus on myself and the tiny person inside of me. Once the room was clear of frantic and anxious energy, I let Mother Nature do her work. She twisted at the soles of my feet, climbing higher, growing into my ankles and knees, bringing blossoming vines of tranquility. The contractions grew stronger, more frequent. The nurse said a Doula happened to be on duty that day; I had her bring her in. Having no childbirth classes during my pregnancy, I was thankful to see a beautiful, expecting Doula at my side.

I made my way to the Jacuzzi tub. Slipping into the familiar warmth of the water and remembering I had taken two baths a day while pregnant. I am a creature of the water. I felt at peace as the pressure of the jets massaged my back and hips. I breathed slow and deep. I slid through the water like a round-bellied mermaid. Back and forth, front to back. The pain was beautiful. I knew it meant progress. By this time, I had been in labor for a few solid hours. After a contraction subsided, I opened my eyes to see not one, but two Doulas observing me. One had tears in her eyes and the other a look of pure excitement. The pregnant Doula wiped the tears from her face and told me how beautiful this scene was and she was happy she was a part of it. She told me her shift was over and that the new Doula was here to stay for awhile. I laughed. Throughout my labor, I laughed. I'm not sure what brought it on, but it felt good to laugh between contractions. I knew what I was doing without ever going to a childbirth class. I knew it would be all right. I knew my body could be trusted to deliver my baby safely into the world.

I stayed in the water for awhile, until the contractions picked up suddenly. It rocked me at the core. I wondered what the tiny being in my womb was experiencing. We were in this together and the comfort swelled inside of me; my chest warm, and pulsating with love for my unborn child. My long, deep breaths became suddenly shallow and sharp. The pain was contracting in on me, wrenching my body and shaking my bones. I felt sick. The Doula handed me a bed pan and I filled it with stomach acid and melted ice chips. I quickly remembered I had not eaten for around 10 hours as I wretched again. Another contraction came swiftly and heavily. The first Doula left and the new one took my hand and helped me from the tub and into my hospital gown. She then introduced me to the birth ball. My legs felt too weak to play on it for long. I rolled it between my thighs, opening my hips so her head could lower into place. Finding no relief from the ball, I found the birthing bar and gripped it, my knuckles turning white as another contraction bared down on me. It came crushing from my abdomen and found the palms of my hands, sweating and sticky on the bar. A scream escaped my lungs, the Doula corrected me immediately. She told me to channel that energy into breathing, into focusing on the progress I was making. I paced the floor, letting the laboring energy flow through me. I went to use the toilet and found I had lost my mucous plug. I returned to the bed to recieve my next dose of antibiotics for my Strep B.

The progress seemed incredibly slow as the nurse checked my cervix and reported the dilation. At this point, I was beginning to tire. After all this time and pain, it still wasn't time to push. I began to question whether or not I could do this without easing the pain somehow. I pulled my mind out of my body, still controlling the pain and handling it as best I could. I planted my feet into the cold linoleum of the hospital floor and let the roots grow from my toes. Moaning and panting, trying desperately to find some relief from the constant sickening pain. It was like nothing I had ever felt before. I had created and nourished life inside my swelling belly and it was time to let this tiny person take her first breath. I climbed back onto the bed, frustrated, yet refusing to let exhaustion set in. This was my time; this was our time. I faced the back of the bed, gripping onto the thin mattress. I screamed again, but quickly turned it into a deep moan; I steadied myself; deep breath in, deep breath out. The contractions were taking over like internal earthquakes. It was getting harder and harder to stay strong and stable. I was shaking, I was dizzy and I was falling fast. The nurse grabbed an oxygen mask and held it to my face. I panted into it, inhaling the sweet scent and imagined it nourishing my baby girl. Transition had been wringing my body for hours. My cervix was stuck at 9 centimeters for what seemed like eternity. I just wanted her out. I was done with this. Exhaustion flooded every pore in my body. I swayed. I had reached the point of wanting to give up. Every natural birth reaches this point before or around 8 to 10 centimeters. I wanted to rest, but the contractions were on top of each other with no break in between. I felt crippled as another contraction swept over me. I yelled out, clutching the bed again. A minute later, it passed. The Doula fed me a spoonful of orange gelatin. I swished it on my sticky tongue and swallowed. It came back up immediately. I cried from weakness. I was trembling; tears welling in my eyes. The nurse checked my cervix again and I was finally at a 9.5. I cringed, my toes curling as another contraction enveloped me entirely. Gasping into the mask, I brushed it aside and moved to the end of the bed. I was stuck at a 9.5 for over an hour or so. I was upset that the lip of my cervix was still lingering. I wanted to push. I need to push! I wanted so badly to push, but I had to hold back for fear of swelling my cervix and delaying the birth even longer. I looked into the Doula's eyes and pleaded for some sort of relief. She massaged my hips, compressing my waist with her palms. I can't do this. Oh, help me. Please, help me. I had been in hard labor all day and the sun was setting quickly outside the hospital window. The nurse checked me several more times between contractions before I finally hit 10 centimeters and could begin pushing. The descent of the baby was sluggish. I pushed and pushed with what seemed like no advancement. The Doula said her head was stuck behind my pubic bone. She told me to rock her head beneath it and bear down. I did as instructed with nothing to show for it. Her head would lower a little and rise right back up as I stopped pushing. I felt fluid gush between my legs. I was excited thinking it was my bag of waters until the nurse told me it was not the sac, it was urine. I was discouraged my water hadn't broken yet. I wondered how much longer I would be in labor if my water refused to break. The nurse told me my cervix was open and the sac was bulging. I wanted to be done with this. I wanted her out and in my arms. I was so worn out I didn't care if the nurse had to get involved. She got the doctor and said the baby would be delivered within the hour. I sighed deeply as yet another contraction took over. I was at a halt. I tensed up and held my breath waiting for the end to come. As the contraction subsided the doctor asked if she could break my water. I wailed, yes! Yes, yes, please break my water. She grabbed what looked like a crotchet needle and water drenched my thighs. She said the water was green from meconium and it was good we broke the water when we did. My baby had passed her first bowel movement in utero. Ah, a sigh of relief escaped my lips as her head lowered and another contraction took hold. My lungs seized up. I couldn't breathe in as she made the decent into the birth canal. The pain, oh the pain; it was almost unbearable and yet I dove deep into my mind, into my body and breathed through it. I pushed with all I had in me. Every drop of strength poured into pushing, into delivering this baby. She still wouldn't make her appearance, though I pushed for over an hour. The doctor recommended she put her fingers in and tear me. I focused on where her fingers met my flesh and pushed with everything I had. After a few more pushes her head began to crown. The Doula spoke to me in low tones. She told me her ears and cheeks were out. I cried. It burned and twisted between my thighs as I pushed until her shoulders emerged. Her body slid out into the doctors arms at 7:47 PM and was set on my abdomen.

I shook as I held her, the chills taking over me as my child looked deep into my eyes. Dark, black slits peered up at the mother who carried her for 10 months and brought her safe and sound into this new world. I wept and laughed all at once. I was holding onto my newborn child for the first time. Relief flooded my limbs. The doctor asked if I wanted to cut the cord. And I did. I cut her umbilical cord, separating the tiny being from my insides. She no longer needed my womb for nourishment. My baby moon began on September 26, 2007, the night of the harvest moon. The doctor began to stitch me up right after I delivered the placenta. It all happened so quickly. Gallons of crimson fluid painted the picture of perfection. I was grateful for the wonderful encouragement of my Doula. My baby girl and I had worked together as a team; After more than 12 hours of all natural labor, she was here, she was finally here.

After the family entered the room to see her, she was weighed and rinsed. She weighed at 8lbs 7oz and was 20.5 inches long. After everyone greeted her and held her, she took to the breast right away. She was the most beautiful, sweet-natured baby I had ever seen. Sleeping soundly in my arms and suckling at my no longer impatient breasts, was my first born daughter, Aiyana Autumn.

a purring heart protruding beneath my navel
sucking at my womb & glowing flesh
no longer a selfish being
feeding tiny limbs before myself
nutrients flows to create
life
gulping
at
milky breasts

-Jasmine Nichole



We are well on our way!
Wow! That was beautiful mama, thanks for sharing. You know, I often have a twinge of envy that some people are int he place from the start that I am in now and it has taken me nearly 9 years and three children!! Perhaps my time for baby bearing is done, I don't know if I can take the toll or heartache of trying again, BUT, the next phase is exciting too, I would LOVE to learn where we go onto from here.
arwenevenstar is offline  
#51 of 93 Old 04-14-2008, 07:48 PM
 
jenneology's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 1,205
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'd say that I've lived my life with a toe (maybe only up to the first knuckle) in NFL. I was raised Unitarian Universalist with a respect for doing my part to keep the environment clean and to respect nature. My mom taught me to pick up litter wherever I saw it and throw it away. So I cared about the environment, enough to make the decision to use cloth diapers when I contemplated the diapering issue when I became pregnant. Although I will admit, it was the cost savings that compelled me most.

When I was nine, I watched my cat give birth to her litter of kittens. I saw how she was evolutionarily made and adept at birthing her offspring and knew that I would be too when I became pregnant. As a teenager, I enjoyed watching the Baby Story on TLC. One birth stood out to me: a Hypnobirthing mom in a hospital birth center. I knew I'd use the hypnobirthing techniques to give birth to my own children, and that I wouldn't need drugs to do it. (Some good has come out of that show!!) My husband (early in our marriage) thought I was crazy when I told him about Hypnobirthing until he came home from a physiology class (in a pre-med major) and told me that mind over matter works, that people can convince themselves to not feel pain, and that the neurotransmitters that trigger the pain response can be halted through hypnosis and relaxation techniques.

I was introduced to babywearing through a school I worked at. I was hired during my pregnancy with the understanding that I'd return to work after the baby was born with him in a sling or wrap while I worked in my classroom. I discovered my Moby Wrap and have used it since.

To prepare for pregnancy, I tried to exercise better, started prenatal vitamins, and then didn't try, but didn't prevent either. I had a suspicion that I'd get pregnant at one point and then dismissed it. I was pregnant 2 months later.

During pregnancy, I tried to eat healthier, but didn't get into organic, raw foods. I used the hypnobirthing CDs to relax everyday and connect with the child within me. I took walks and tried to prepare myself for birth. (I didn't read the right stuff, unfortunately).

It was after a traumatic hospital birth that I realized that birth isn't treated correctly in our society and so I started questioning everything. I mean EVERYTHING. Vaccines, well baby visits, formula makers, doctors, OTC medications, prenatal care, hospital births, interventions, drugs in birth, the agriculture business in America, the motives of oil companies and green energy, toy manufactures, etc. I'm 14 month into that quest and learning everyday and making small changes everyday.

I know I didn't get very detailed, you can find alot of my process on my blog(its the link in my siggy).

Right now, we are trying to conceive #2. I've been charting my cycles and I've learned my body, we are actually trying with the intent of having a baby(never done that before!). I've changed my diet to where I eat more fresh fruits and veggies, whole grains, lean meat, good fats. I started seeing a chiropractor who has helped me correct the scoliosis in my spine by 30% and boosted my immune system. Since my LO's birth, I've lost 60 pounds so I'm now 30 pounds below my prepregnancy weight. I exercise (Irish dance) twice a week, and walk 2-3 times a week wearing the Chunka.

I'd say I'm in the beginning of my journey into NFL and I'm taking it slow. I've made the most progress in the area of birth as we are planning a UC at home with the next one. Becoming a mother has drawn me to a more natural way of living with my instincts to protect my children and to teach them to respect and revere nature and life. So as I grow, I learn more and realize my capability to do things differently because I've questioned it, thought about it and then decided upon what I believe to be the moral choice.

M.Ed. Mama to Chunka (1/07), Beauty (5/09) and Elizabear 3/12): Birth Doula (working toward certification) AAMI Midwifery Student, Advocating with Solace for Mothers & The Birth Survey

jenneology is offline  
#52 of 93 Old 04-15-2008, 06:12 PM
 
kungfufugirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: AZ
Posts: 132
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
It breaks my heart to hear all your stories about hospital births....to hear that so many have such bad experiences and that the only way to have a healthy birth experience is to stay out of the hospital......and still I must admit how much of this does ring true. Why is this so? It shouldn't be! A woman should be able to have her baby in a hospital if she chooses, or if a certain medical condition requires it, without being stripped of her rights and her womanhood. Likewise, the babies should be brought into the world and given all the time they need with their mother without being separated and without being exposed to unnecessary procedures. <sigh>

I was very interested in holistic health from the very beginning of my nursing training, and entered ob nursing believing that this was the very place where I would find it being used more abundantly. Not so! Over the years, I liked my job less and less, and couldn't put my finger on why exactly. Luckily, I took some time off while TTC and then after Gracie was born, and took that time to pursue educational opportunities that may help me renew my enthusiasm for maternity nursing. I first took a doula certification course, then a childbirth educator course, and after these realized what had been happening to me over the last 10 years.....I was watching OB services drift farther and farther away from what I originally learned to be ideal. I learned--realized that there was no evidence to support what we were doing, and we seemed to be doing things for the wrong reasons. I continued my training, taking classes that would also help me as I prepared to mother the child growing inside me. I took a certified breastfeeding counselor course, and "The Happiest Baby on the Block" course, the combination of which led me to AP, which also led me to TBW and here.

I returned to work a few months ago armed with all this new knowledge and enthusiasm for creating positive changes for expectant/laboring/new moms in the hospital, and I've met quite a bit of resistance. I guess I expected that. Still I fear that there will be no place for me as an OB nurse in the future. I just don't know if I can take the aggravation and the disappointment.....the trend still seems to be downward and away from the ideal............and then I think if I don't stay and fight.....who will?

~jo
ap-ing cs-ing, bw-ing, kung-fu-ing organic mom to Gracie, 14mo, and Sean, 15y
OB RN, Childbirth Educator, Certified Doula, Certified Breastfeeding Counselor, The Happiest Baby on the Block Instructor
kungfufugirl is offline  
#53 of 93 Old 04-15-2008, 06:20 PM
 
annettemarie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: In the Restricted Section
Posts: 41,722
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
I did want to take a moment to share a great essay I found by Peggy O' Mara, editor of Mothering. It's called "What Is Natural Family Living?" but speaks specifically to this topic.

I liked what she said here:
Quote:
First, at its best, natural family living defies general definition because it is about discovering what is natural for each individual. Second, I don’t want parents to think they must follow rules in order to be good at parenting. And third, natural family living is not a movement, a fad, or a custom. It is about getting back to our roots as humans and rediscovering the parenting skills that have sustained humans throughout history and prehistory.
I think it speaks to the whole purpose of these workshops. NFL and AP was never meant to be one more club with which mothers could beat themselves (and each other!) over the heads with. It was meant to be a way of relating to ourselves, our children, our families, our bodies.

She then goes on to write (and I'm playing fast and loose with the copyright guidelines, but I think I'm OK in this case):
Quote:
Natural family living views pregnancy and birth as normal bodily processes, not disease states. Therefore, interventions are avoided during pregnancy in favor of human interaction. A person interested in natural living, for example, might choose to have her midwife palpate her abdomen to determine the baby’s size and age rather than opt for an intervention such as ultrasound.

Similarly, birth is seen as a normal event that does not require drugs or intervention. Birth is not perceived this way because women who embrace the natural way are more heroic or tolerant of pain. It is perceived this way simply because a drug-free mother and baby have distinct advantages. A mother avails herself of an ecstatic birth chemistry that unlocks a dormant, instinctual maternal intelligence; a baby begins life without having imprinted on drugs and awake enough to successfully breastfeed.

It is not surprising, then, that the ideas of natural family living meet at the intersection of instinct and science. Personal intuition is often supported by scientific evidence. Homebirth is a good example of this. Homebirth fosters the intimacy and privacy necessary for an optimum birth. Its safety is also supported by scientific evidence, evidence that consistently demonstrates that birth is safe in any setting.

The ideas of drug-free birth and homebirth are not dogmas, but are good news. They become serious options only if one begins to trust in the natural order of things. Above all, natural family living is about this trust. It is not about making homebirth a dogma; it is about believing that it is safe. If we can believe that homebirth is safe, we will believe that birth in general is safe.
And, finally,
Quote:
Natural family living is about optimum survival, but it is not about making rules for proper behavior. That is the last thing we need. Parents don’t need any more guilt or more inflated standards of perfection. This is the beauty of natural family living, which is about falling back into ourselves and trusting our own natures again. It is not about conforming to anything. Natural family living is about trust in the natural order of things, trust in the innate goodness and perfectibility of people, trust that each child is following his or her individual timetable for development. What this means practically is: Trust your body. Trust your baby. Trust yourself.
You can read the whole thing (yes, there's even more than I shared!) here.

I'd love to hear what you think of this!

Flowers, fairies, gardens, and rainbows-- Seasons of Joy: 10 weeks of crafts, handwork, painting, coloring, circle time, fairy tales, and more!
Check out the blog for family fun, homeschooling, books, simple living, and 6 fabulous children, including twin toddlers

annettemarie is offline  
#54 of 93 Old 04-15-2008, 08:35 PM
 
kungfufugirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: AZ
Posts: 132
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
As I read through those portions of her essay, I become painfully aware that the more I learn about and accept NFL principles, the more uncomfortable I am in my current occupation. I wish I could specify in more detail. It is just hard assisting in the implementation of interventions that you would not choose for yourself for the reasons Peggy already specified.

OTH--I think it is impotant that someone try to improve conditions for mommies and babies--for those who have not yet come to a point in their personal growth in which they can truly appreciate and take full advandage of all aspects of nfl.

~jo
kungfufugirl is offline  
#55 of 93 Old 04-15-2008, 10:23 PM
 
Arwyn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Twitter, RMB, PDX
Posts: 16,839
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I love that essay, especially the parts you quoted. Thanks for that Annette.

Quote:
Originally Posted by annettemarie
NFL and AP was never meant to be one more club with which mothers could beat themselves (and each other!) over the heads with.
I also love this quote, especially since I first read "club" in the "clique/group" meaning, and the double meaning is perfect. It's not about being in a clique, and it's not about having a weapon with which to berate others (or ourselves). Like you said, it's just about a different perspective and approach to birth, to parenting, and to living in general.
Arwyn is offline  
#56 of 93 Old 04-16-2008, 04:30 AM
 
frontierpsych's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Where the other 4999 Bensoners are...
Posts: 6,377
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
That's a great essay, and really sums up natural parenting quite well.

In preparing for motherhood, there are certain plans I have made: I plan to homebirth, cloth diaper, babywear, etc.

So many mothers feel the need to defend themselves here if they had hospital births, use disposables, or even own a stroller!

And how many times do we see the : smilie used after a statement that one feels made to be ashamed about?

So I was at Wal Mart the other day :

I was cooking dinner while DS was in his swing :

and so on, as if we feel the judgement that comes from others on these issues even if we ourselves have found it to work for our family.

What we really need to do is be honest with ourselves. If we are doing what we REALLY feel is best, why do we feel guilt? There is a pointed difference in following your instincts even if they go against what others are telling you to do and defending it as a lifestyle choice, and doing what you feel is expected of you and ignoring your instincts and calling it a lifestyle choice.

If we are truely being honest with ourselves and parenting for our children instead of ourselves, we will have no use for guilt, even when the masses tell us we are wrong. I hear the word "sheeple" tossed around a lot in reference to people who just do what they feel is expected of them. Is someone who vaccinates because they are berated for not doing it any more of a "sheeple" than someone in the AP community who chooses to boycott Nestle to fit in?

I'm a modifiedartist.gif DH is a reading.gif we have 2 angel.gifs, and DS is a rainbow1284.gif baby.gif
frontierpsych is offline  
#57 of 93 Old 04-16-2008, 07:45 PM
 
QueenOfTheMeadow's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: with the wildlife
Posts: 18,213
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 10 Post(s)
Thanks to everyone for the hugs and understanding. It means a lot to get that from other mamas.

As for preparing for conception...well, I was on the pill. Who knew that 99% didn't really =100%? I didn't know until I was 4 months pregnant. I couldn't figure out why I was so darn tired and sick. I kept tryiing to lose weight, and yet it didn't come off. I look back at it and laugh now, because the signs were all there, but I didn't recognise them, until one day at work, I was complaining to some friends about how sick I was and someone piped up with, "maybe your pregnant!" laugh, laugh. Suddenly, it all became clear. I bought a pregnancy test on the way home. Ran to the bathroom. Immediately 2 lines showed up. I got in the tub and thought, 'well, it takes three minutes. Maybe it'll change back.' : So, um, nothing!

With ds2, we were heading to the pharmacy to pick up my Pills, when I looked at dh and said, "we could, just, not." He smiled and said, "okay." Next month, there we were. Similar for ds3.

For dd, we had a condom malfunction. I kept feeling really sick after new years eve. Thought I had the flu. But by Jan 16th, I was not getting better. I called dh complaining about how sick I felt:nautious, headache, tired, achy. I got off the phone, sat down, and though, 'oh no! Not again!" Ran out. And sure enough the double pink. But that ended in miscarriage.

So honestly, I didn't do a whole lot of planning for any of my conceptions. I feel very lucky and very guilty for that in some ways, especially since ds1 has some SNs and because so many of my friends and my sister have and are struggling to concieve. The only way I can relate is that each month for them, it's been like a little miscarriage. The death of hope and a dream regardless of all their planning.

 
QueenOfTheMeadow is offline  
#58 of 93 Old 04-18-2008, 12:46 AM
 
Nillarilla's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,033
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I am a nurse so when I got pregnant I assumed I would give birth at a hospital with some drugs. I knew I didn't want an epidural because of the associated increase in the C-section rate and extra complications.
I did/do not like my doctor. I knew I did not want her to deliver my baby. I went to the next alternative which was a midwife. She is this wonderful calm german lady. She introduced me to homeopathy and acupuncture. She gave me handouts on natural things I could do during pregnancy. Ultimately having a midwife changed my perspective on natural living. She opened my eyes gently to ways other than allopathic medicine. Having my son and wanting to ap led me to my crunchy ways of today. It was like a cascade effect from having a midwife and exclusively bfing to using cloth diapers and feeding homemade organic baby food to eating locally. My whole life has changed because of my son.

I had planned a homebirth. I had all the supplies. I laboured through the night for 18 hours not drinking or eating anything and vomiting continuously. I did not progress. I was at the same point from beginning to end. I didn't dilate at all. We tried acupuncture, homeopathy and massage. Finally the rest of my water broke and there was meconium in it. I had to transfer to the hospital. I was put on a monitor and had some morphine and gravol in hopes that I could sleep. They caught a decel in the heart rate that was very sustained. An obgyn assessed and said the babies station was going up not down. I had an emergency C-section where they discovered the cord was wrapped so tightly around my son's neck he could not move.

The pediatrician walked in after my son was delivered and said he must have aspirated some meconium and sent him to the Nicu. Where he had his blood sugar checked and was not brought to me to nurse. So of course it dropped and he was gavage fed through the nose because I refused to let them give him the bottle. The whole NICU experience left me very angry. They tried to make me use nipple shields. They would only come and get me to feed him every 4 hours instead of whenever he woke so of course he had more low blood sugars. No one would let me go see my son to feed him because it was shift change. I was disempowered and I vow to never feel this way again. I will make myself heard the next time. My midwife suggested I write a letter to the maternity ward and nicu. I did not do this but I will make myself heard and I won't be the 'good patient' next time. I am going to try for another homebirth with a midwife though.

What I do before I get pregant?
Take multivitamins and cut back on the caffiene. I try to exercise more and eat better.

Proud Mama to DS 04/23/06reading.gif DD 02/18/09 modifiedartist.gif, 2 dog2.gif, and wife to wonderfuldh_malesling.GIF and adding another baby.gif. Here's my blog: http://nessabean.blogspot.ca/
Nillarilla is offline  
#59 of 93 Old 04-18-2008, 10:48 AM
 
Isfahel's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 128
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My parents were very AP, I was homebirthed, cloth diapered, and breastfed, so I have always known that I would birth my babies at home. I got pg for the first time after about 2 years of marriage, my dh wanted to wait until we were more financially sound. We concieved the 1st month we tried, I went to the health dept for my prenatal care, trying to be as frugal as possible as we didn't have insurance. We found a midwife, though we weren't near picky enough, the main things I liked about her was she was one of the most inexpensive and she came to the house for prenatals! Pregnancy was pretty good, I did get hypertension during the last few months, right before birth my bp was hanging around 160/110.... So I went into labor at 40+1d, it went really fast and hard and I called my mw to let her know that she had better get here. She said her car was broken down and my husband had to drive an hour to come get her!!! She of course had no backup. No way I was letting my dh leave me so we told her to find a ride and proceeded with labor. It was really rough, my mom had told me her labors were all painless, so I figured no big deal Lol, not what happened, it was very painful but once I realized I was in transition after only about 3 hours of labor I figured I could handle it ok, it was just proceeding super fast. I was a bit worried about my bp and about the baby, we didn't have a way to check heart tones but my mom told me all we could do was pray and not worry so that's what I did. I asked my husband to check dialation once but could hardly handle it, I didn't want to be touched at all during contrax and they came so fast it was hard to get in and out between one! He managed to tell that I was pretty dialated, 8-10 he said. So a bit later I really felt like pushing, sat up and checked myself and felt a head! As soon as I sat up, I was curled in the tub, the pain stopped and I felt great. I made it to the bed and labor just stopped for a few minutes, it was so nice, my mom and best friend were there and we joked and laughed and it was great. Then I got into pushing, it wasn't too bad as I had breaks in between, not like transition. I pushed maybe an half hour to an hour, unfortunetely, no one thought to check times. The mw still hadn't made it, my poor dad and brother were frantically trying to figure out the oxygen container that she had left, they were so worried that something would happen and we would need it. Baby started to crown and it got a bit painful, I was in a modified squat with a mirror in front of me so I could see what was happening and what I needed to do, since I had no mw to tell me Just as her head popped out the mw ran in, my dh and I were shocked to see her, she was HUGE!!! Lol, her head was this massive purple ball in between my legs. She pinked up right away and started to fuss. The mw checked for a nuchal cord and then we pushed a few more times and got her out, she was a big chunky baby, I was expecting this tiny thing! She weighed 9# and 19" long. No wonder pushing her out hurt Thankfully I didn't tear, I didn't think the mw was capable of doing any suturing, but I did have plenty of skidmarks. She nursed pretty much right away and everything was great!
We concieved #2 at 11 months pp, and the pregnancy is going great, other than him/her being a football player He/she is super rowdy! We're due in June with a UP/kinda UC, I am more prepared this time, I have done tons of research, I have a blood pressure cuff, a doppler so I can keep track of heart tones, a friend's mom is a retired mw and she agreed to come watch in case something goes wrong. Though I want to do it myself again, I don't want interference unless it is needed. I can't wait, I hope its going to be nice and fast and relatively easy like the first time
Isfahel is offline  
#60 of 93 Old 04-18-2008, 07:02 PM
 
dflanag2's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Arlington, VA
Posts: 478
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by annettemarie View Post
What do you do to get ready before you're actually pregnant?

I have to admit this is an area in which I fall short. Each baby, I vow to do better, but I never do.
Preconception:

Right before DH and I got engaged, I went to my annual OB GYN exam. I asked my doctor if there was anything I should do to prepare my body before trying to concieve; I vaguely recalled hearing about folic acid supplements or something. She said, "No." Fortunately I was working my way into eating more nutritious foods, I did aerobics 2-3x/week, and was otherwise healthy. I did not take vitamins because I preferred to get my nutrients from whole foods; vitamins would make me feel like I could cheat more. I knew after that appointment that I would be finding alternative care when I became pregnant.

The other red flag with this practice was further in the past when I tried taking birth control pills (a miserable 8 month stretch in my life that I have no desire to repeat). I was nervous about taking the pills because Factor 5 (a blood clotting disorder) runs in my family, and I called the nurse to discuss some uncomfortable symptoms I was having. (carpal tunnel, fatigue, headaches, weight gain, aches in legs, etc.) She was very short and cold with me and had very little advice or support to give. I just stopped taking the pills, and thereafter stopped using contraception altogether It all seemed like such a pain the the rear. I avoided DTD around the week I ovulated and it worked just fine for over 2 years.

So the main thing we did in preparation for pregnancy was to marry, move in together, and stop TTA during ovulation. DS was on the way 2 weeks after the wedding!

As for Natural Family Living, my mother had 5 unmedicated hospital births over a 21 year time span and breastfed all of us for over a year (except for one sister who was a difficult, uninterested nurser during a stressful time in my mother's life, she was weaned at 7-8 months.) She did her research in the 70's and has some wild stories about avoiding scalpels raised for episiotomies and being told she was hours away from 'delivery' minutes before the baby shot out.

I think a PP mentioned that it was a shame that feminism didn't focus more on birth rights for mothers in addition to other womens' rights. I think this WAS a topic in the 70's based on the reading material available to my mother at the time; I think the feminist position on childbearing has changed over the years. Maybe it became appealing to do anything possible to avoid pain or discomfort by opting for an epidural or c-section. The woman's 'right' was seen as a right to avoid the pain, perhaps. Now the pendulum has swung too far in that women aren't permitted to refuse intervention or make personal choices about pregnancy and birth.

I have always been a skeptic, and I have always loved learning, so it feels natural to me to educate myself on topics that become important in my life, such as birth. I will read a book and/or take a class about pretty much anything I am interested in doing well. I got a lot out of The Bradley Method Class, mostly to trust myself and trust the process. I had my DS at a birthing center, and DD was born at home before the midwives arrived.

I agree that Natural Family Living is different for each family. It's important to consider the needs of each family member when making decisions on how to live. An exaple of this for me is babywearing. I would LOVE to wear my babies, but I can't handle it for more than 15 minutes at a time (even with an excellent supportive sling) after they hit 4 months and 20 lbs. (Did I mention that both my kidlets were over 10 lbs at birth?) Instead of slinging them, I sat on the couch or floor with them. It just wasn't feasible for my back to support that kind of weight; I am a small framed person.

I am constantly trying to figure out new ways to meet my children's needs: emotionally, intellectually, nutritionally, socially... I don't trust what society dictates is 'normal' or acceptable for children, I examine things on a case by case basis, trying to keep the big picture in mind; I ask, "Is this really a big deal to me/my family in the big scheme of things?" I'm finding that things like waste and safety are a big deal to me, while things like perfect cleanliness and societal norms are less important.

-dflanag2

Let's see... extended bfing (previous Tandem nursing) cding, no-circ, gding, co-sleeping, homebirthing, whole foods cooking mother to 3.5 yo DS and 20 mo DD.
dflanag2 is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off