I must say that I'm so so so glad that you're still hopeful! I hadn't been sure whether it was appropriate to say something here on the boards--was considering PMing you... and decided that I would personally be sending hopeful healing thoughts toward you and your baby all the while
Before the old boards crashed there were some threads in pregnancy started by several women who had had healthy babies after having them declared dead (no visible/audible heartbeat)by medical professionals.
I had a somewhat different--though similar theme--experience when I was pg w/DD. I had an ultrasound at 17 weeks (because of my advanced age
: )and they couldn't see part of DD's brain and thought that she might have trisomy 13. Rather than acknowledge the potential limits of ultrasound (bad visibility, esp w/babies like DD who hang out low in the pelvis) they were trying to prepare us for the real possibility of anencephally or unviable genetic conditions.
We ended up getting an amnio (hadn't really wanted to do this--or even really the ultrasound, for that matter) and a second ultrasound three weeks later. Easily the longest three weeks of my life. I spent lots of time talking with the baby and in meditation, prayer, and reflection during that time--trying to trust my body's, my baby's, and the universe's process. Very difficult but also hopeful and profound period of time. One of those things that I hadn't thought would happen to me. I also did weave together support in case we did learn that she was indeed not viable. I tried to take a sort of a hope and pray for the best but be lovingly and gently prepared for the worst/hardest type of an approach.
They were fortunately able to find the "missing" part of DD's brain three weeks later and the amnio came back totally normal. She was born completely healthy (horrific L and D, but that's another thread)--though must admit that I was intermittently anxious off and on through the duration of my pregnancy (my first and probably only). Just worked to focus on hope and faith on a daily basis.
You will all be in my thoughts. Please let us know how things go.
All the best,