My horrible PMS is ruining my marriage - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 33 Old 10-15-2010, 08:34 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I know my title sounds dramatic, but it's true. I'm in desperate need of help, support, and advice.
My PMS is unbelievable. For about a week before my period I am very depressed, angry and resentful of my life and family. I feel exhausted and hate my duties and chores around the house, so the house is a complete disaster during these "spells." I'm a student and have no motivation to attend classes or even get a degree when I'm PMSing. I am short tempered with my son. During this time I literally hate my husband and feel like I want to leave him. The hormones throw me for such a loop. My husband and I fight during this time because I feel so miserable. When the hormones are gone, I'm back to myself and feel content and lovey with my husband, family and future. He's getting tired of the rollercoaster ride which is completely understandable. I would think it's bipolar disorder except it is directly related to my period. To someone who hasn't experienced this, this probably sounds like a controllable problem but it's not. Even though I know I'm PMSing, I still think my thoughts and mean feeling are valid and convince myself that this is how I really feel. It's horrible.
I'm not one for pharmaceuticals, but I'm almost to the point of going to the doctor and begging her/him to prescribe me something...anything to make me feel better during this week.
We don't have insurance so I can't afford to go get extensive testing done. I have a copper (non hormonal) iud.
Has anyone been through this? How do/did you deal? Did anything help? I can't live like this anymore.
Thanks in advance for any support and help.
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#2 of 33 Old 10-15-2010, 08:52 PM
 
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I could have written your post. I seriously want to leave my husband and kids the week before my period. Sometimes it even starts two weeks before. I can literally feel the change. I get anxious, and irritable and I can almost feel rage coursing through my veins. I told my mom it feels bipolar, but I know it is hormone related.

As soon as my period arrives within a day I am loving and happy again.

I have tried, diet, exercise, lost thirty pounds, trid herbal supplements(st johns wort, vitamin b6, estrovenegon, hylands nerve tonic, bchs flower remedys), even traditional meds like prozac. Nothing helps.I can not do any birth control at all without going completely nuts, so my husband is getting the snip soon.

I will be following this thread.. But know it is normal and you are not alone...

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#3 of 33 Old 10-15-2010, 09:04 PM
 
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http://pmdd.factsforhealth.org/
premenstrual dysphoric disorder is a form of premenstrual syndrome.
oddly enough, I was debating getting an IUD and was searching on MDC here about IUD. I found this thread
http://www.mothering.com/discussions...&highlight=iud

Don't know if that helps, other than letting you know you're not crazy or completely abnormal.

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#4 of 33 Old 10-15-2010, 09:18 PM
 
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I call it "The Red Lines of Rage" It's mellowed some over the years. But still I'm waaaaaay less tolerant of my husband and kids during this time.
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#5 of 33 Old 10-15-2010, 09:53 PM
 
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Could it be copper toxicity or a copper-zinc imbalance from the IUD? Google it and check the symptoms.

Zinc and copper should be in balance:
http://www.drkaslow.com/html/zinc-co...mbalances.html

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#6 of 33 Old 10-16-2010, 05:36 AM
 
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Copper toxicity could be a factor.

So could low progesterone or estrogen/progesterone imbalance - a simple test (if you're not nursing, consider more carefully if you are) is to get one of the OTC progesterone creams and use it daily for day 14-28 of your cycle. I just started taking vitex/chasteberry (because the progesterone is great for me), and that should have the same impact after a few months

So could magnesium deficiency - try LOTS of magnesium (any form except oxide, I like mag glycinate).
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#7 of 33 Old 10-17-2010, 09:03 AM
 
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this was me last year. I had too much estrogen and too little progesterone. I started taking progesterone, magnesium, vit B and def felt better.

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#8 of 33 Old 10-17-2010, 09:30 AM
 
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I got nuts after my last miscarriage. The first month after I didn't know what was going on, I just felt like I wanted to find a bunker and hide in it. Or I wanted everyone else to go.away. Then it happened the next month and I realized this was PMS. I've always been a little cranky but this was straight up crazy.

It's a good thing my husband was overseas, and I was living with my family when this started. I didn't shred him, and I had help with the kids.

I've taken a two-pronged approach.

Physical: Vitex (Chasteberry, agnus castus) has helped tremendously. The feelings don't all go away, but it has moderated the hormonal junk a lot and at least given me the ability to recognize what's going on and make decisions about how I respond to those feelings.

Also, hard as it is, avoiding caffeine and sugar during this time helps.

Mental: I have to have a good hold on my emotions. If I don't, I spiral out of control, and not just during PMS. It has taken me years but I am finally getting the hang of stopping and thinking before I say stuff, I mark the calendar so that I know when PMS is coming, and I'm reminded that the feelings are hormonal. When I'm nasty to someone I immediately apologize. I warn my family ahead of time. When my emotions are telling me one thing, I ask myself whether it is true ("Do I really hate my husband? Do I have any reason to? No. I'm cranky and annoyed and not being fair to him"), rather than immediately acting on that feeling.


I know it's frustrating to be going through this. I hope this thread will give you some help.
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#9 of 33 Old 10-17-2010, 08:06 PM
 
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similar situation here too! I just started reading The Mood Cure by Julia Ross and it is really resonating with me. I am feeling optimistic about all the suggestions in the book. I just have to get the health food store! maybe look up some of the aminos referred to in that book.
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#10 of 33 Old 10-18-2010, 01:55 AM
 
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I can definitely relate to this, although it seemed more obvious when I was younger--at least the week before.

Once when I was in my 20's and PMSing, I was living in a small mountain town alone and working at a ski resort. My old car kept breaking down, so I went into the big city to see if I could find a used car lot to buy a used car in better condition than the one I had. I wound up at a toyota dealership with "five" salesmen doing the "schtick" to me in the room and by the time I left, I had purchased a brand new toyota truck that I could not afford, paid full price for because I didn't know what I was doing, and had a friend along who let it all happen and didn't have a clue how to buy a car. Luckily because of an insurance glitch, I couldn't drive it off the parking lot. I called the next day, sobbing uncontrollably (still PMSing to the max) and saying that I couldn't buy the truck and I needed my old car back. They thought I was so pathetic that they agreed without question. I had to take a bus back to the city because I'd traded in the car at the dealership, and they had already marked it $500! And they had to jump start it, how embarrassing.

However, right after I came to pick up my old car, the financial dude who made me sign the papers was making eyes at me and flirting heavily. In a normal week, I would have NEVER even looked at this type of guy. He was for some reason, looking really good to me (I was again about a week or so away from my period). I wound up later having a one night stand with him (which I had never done before in my life) and then being extremely paranoid for the next PMS round that I was pregnant by this one night stand even though I was extremely careful. I must have agonized for a week that I was undoubtably pregnant by this sleazy salesman who "sprayed" his perfectly combed hair with hairspray. I was a hiker, mountain biker and climber type, and here I was, having gone crazy without judgement with this disgusting salesman who was almost twice my age and had been married three times and was paranoid I was spending the night at his house!

Anyway, I still remember this period (no pun intended) of time in my life as very traumatic and crazy for about 10 years and nothing seemed to calm me down. What I remember most was "worrying" myself to paranoia right before my period and getting really grouchy with people, but otherwise, this buying a vehicle thing was my worst moment PMSing. I don't notice it as much now, but since I'm married with 2 kids in my 40's to a younger DH, I'm probably in general just grouch most of the time anyway...

Sorry I couldn't offer better advice, just a scary story....
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#11 of 33 Old 10-20-2010, 08:33 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Phew! so glad this is *somewhat* common. I considered the copper toxicity, I'll look into it more.
Thank you so much for the support and advice. I'm in the midst of a crazy studying week at school, but when it's finished I'm going to seriously research some of the possibilities mentioned here!
thank you!
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#12 of 33 Old 10-21-2010, 12:03 PM
 
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Due to this thread I began taking magnesium the past few days and a super b complex pill and an omega 3-6 pill too. I actually feel a bit better andless moody. I should be in my pms window right now but I still feel ok. I got a flash of it yesterday when both my daycare babies were screaming but I got over quickly. I am also taking a daily shake from beachbody called shakeology that has tons of nutrients including spirilina which I heard is supposed to help with pms. So the combo of all of those maybe be helping.. I have been doing the shakeology for a month now since I became a beachbody coach, but the magnesium and other vitamins I just started this week.. I will keep you updated on how the next two weeks go. these will be my pms weeks

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#13 of 33 Old 10-21-2010, 12:54 PM
 
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Oh my gosh, thank you so much for writing this post (and thanks to the others who have replied with advice). I could have written the exact same thing.
My PMS symptoms scare the crap out of me sometimes. I hate just about everyone and everything the week just before my period, but sometimes it also happens to a lesser degree right after I ovulate. I can get downright evil to people.. I yell, I cry, I threaten to kick the crap out of my sweet 10 yr old cat (I would never ever do anything to him or anyone else, I couldn't hurt a fly).. etc etc etc. Within a day after starting my period, I'm the bubbly goofy lovey dovey me again., except that I feel horrible for how I treated everyone the days before.

I've been trying to research exactly what hormones are shifting and when.. just anything to figure out what turns me into such a raving lunatic during those times. I wish I had some advice for you, but please know that you're NOT alone!

I will be watching this thread for more replies, as well.

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#14 of 33 Old 10-21-2010, 02:01 PM
 
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I had the same problem, exactly like you describe, OP. I got lots better after I removed the copper IUD. Evening primrose oil also helped. Good luck, you have all my sympathy!
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#15 of 33 Old 10-21-2010, 02:23 PM
 
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I definitely get pretty crabby and mean with PMS, though because my cramps are debilitating (literally, laying on the bed sobbing and sometimes screaming, can't work, can't anything sometimes, vomitting, diarreah), the anger is not as much of a priority.

I'm taking calcium/magnesium (I can't recall which the doc recomended as more important, I think the cal, but he said to take them together), and B6. I'm also going to try taking a mild diuretic (though I'm pretty anti-pharmaceutical.), which has a lot of evidence of helping with cramps. I just keep forgetting to buy it...

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#16 of 33 Old 02-22-2012, 01:22 AM
 
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Thanks so much for these write up! I can definitely relate myself to this PMS problem. I broke up with my ex boy friend 4 years ago during PMS and I only figured it out the cause of it after things went so crazy! Ever since, I started noticing that my PMS hit me the most during ovulation and I have been trying to control my temper if I remember it was " the time of the month"!

 

I am happily married now and have a lovely husband that loves me very deary but my PMS is making me to resent him just for some mistakes that he did which I would have laughed over it normally. It is suffering to keep thinking that he is not the right guy for me because I can't really pinpoint his major problem. I just resent him and feel that he is very distant , he has changed after 6 months into marriage and most of all, I keep believing that the intimacy connectedness makes me feel unattractive and unwanted. I only feel like this during PMS.... This feeling is killing me and emotionally tortured ! 

 

 

 

 

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#17 of 33 Old 02-22-2012, 01:23 AM
 
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Thanks so much for these write up! I can definitely relate myself to this PMS problem. I broke up with my ex boy friend 4 years ago during PMS and I only figured it out the cause of it after things went so crazy! Ever since, I started noticing that my PMS hit me the most during ovulation and I have been trying to control my temper if I remember it was " the time of the month"!

 

I am happily married now and have a lovely husband that loves me very deary but my PMS is making me to resent him just for some mistakes that he did which I would have laughed over it normally. It is suffering to keep thinking that he is not the right guy for me because I can't really pinpoint his major problem. I just resent him and feel that he is very distant , he has changed after 6 months into marriage and most of all, I keep believing that the intimacy connectedness makes me feel unattractive and unwanted. I only feel like this during PMS.... This feeling is killing me and emotionally tortured ! 

 

 

 

 

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#18 of 33 Old 02-22-2012, 09:39 PM
 
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There's an awesome thread in the Mental Health forum with a ton of alternatives.  It certainly cured mine and I was stunned how ridiculously simple the cure turned out to be (for me, it was B vitamins).  Thankful, but shocked that something so small was made such a PROFOUND difference (I was on the PMDD side of things :/ )

 

http://www.mothering.com/community/t/993349/life-w-pmdd-severe-pms-support

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#19 of 33 Old 02-23-2012, 06:58 AM
 
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YOU ARE NOT ALONE.  This started happening to me about 5 years ago after I had children.  This whole past week I have resented not just my husband, but ALL MEN.  I've walked around angry and depressed.  I even told my husband that I thought maybe we should get separated.  I do this almost every month.  It is horrible.  I started this morning, and feel very calm and loving now.  There is a light at the end of the tunnel, whereas, yesterday there was not.

 

I have a friend who does not have children but she goes throught the same thing.  She decided to go on prozac for just that pms week.  It seems to have worked for her because she has never mentioned any more problems.  I think instead of us wives having to go on a pill, maybe our husbands should take note of this.  They need to work extra hard that week to help with the kids and chores and be VERY loving and babying to us.  That is what I think.  And, I KNOW it would work.  We are the ones that have to go through the cramping and depression, exhaustion, bloating, not to mention pregnancies and child birth.  I think one week of them being EXTRA sensitive to us isn't too much to ask.

 

I hope you figure something out.  I'm about to get a big dry erase calendar and mark it so that my husband and I know every month when he needs to start doing more and pampering me.  When he also needs to give me a break if i'm a little pissy or ridiculously depressed.  For better or worse, right?! :)

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#20 of 33 Old 02-23-2012, 02:31 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cajunmama2480 View Post
 

YOU ARE NOT ALONE.  This started happening to me about 5 years ago after I had children.  This whole past week I have resented not just my husband, but ALL MEN.  I've walked around angry and depressed.  I even told my husband that I thought maybe we should get separated.  I do this almost every month.  It is horrible.  I started this morning, and feel very calm and loving now.  There is a light at the end of the tunnel, whereas, yesterday there was not.

 

I have a friend who does not have children but she goes throught the same thing.  She decided to go on prozac for just that pms week.  It seems to have worked for her because she has never mentioned any more problems.  I think instead of us wives having to go on a pill, maybe our husbands should take note of this.  They need to work extra hard that week to help with the kids and chores and be VERY loving and babying to us.  That is what I think.  And, I KNOW it would work.  We are the ones that have to go through the cramping and depression, exhaustion, bloating, not to mention pregnancies and child birth.  I think one week of them being EXTRA sensitive to us isn't too much to ask.

 

I hope you figure something out.  I'm about to get a big dry erase calendar and mark it so that my husband and I know every month when he needs to start doing more and pampering me.  When he also needs to give me a break if i'm a little pissy or ridiculously depressed.  For better or worse, right?! :)


Cajunmama, this original post is over a year old and just got revived.  But I just thought I'd chime in.

 

PMS/PMDD isn't about needing more pampering.  It's a chemical imbalance.  Which of your chemicals is out of whack will determine what will help to balance.  As I noted in my prior post, for me, it was a specific regimen of B vitamins.  The thread I linked to gave a long list of non-drug possibilities, but also some drug possibilities (since sometimes the situation is too dire to wait out figuring out what your body needs to be in balance).

 

I had a very loving husband.  Despite my being a SAHM, he did all (ALL) of the cooking in my house for several years.  It didn't make me NOT have PMS/PMDD.  Taking the course of B vitamins that I wound up taking resolved it.

 

I've also never heard of a doctor prescribing Prozac for one week of the month.  That's a med that requires weaning off of if I'm remembering right.  


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#21 of 33 Old 02-24-2012, 10:02 AM
 
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 Short answer- What helped me in the past was Vitex and Saw Palmetto. Also- no sugar

 

 

long answer-  my severe PMS is due to leaky gut from the Pill and abx.

 

 

I feel for you!!

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#22 of 33 Old 02-24-2012, 02:02 PM
 
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I have a bag full of tricks for PMS and mood swings. Some herbal, some nutritive, some foods, some aromatherapy, some homeopathic, some Bach Flower Remedies. This is an incomplete list; but here is a link with even more ideas: http://www.westonaprice.org/womens-health/645-natural-pms-relief.html

For severe rage, I find that Cherry Plum, the Bach Flower Remedy is the most potent flower essence alternative to regain sanity, instantly. It is for "when you fear losing control or rationality". Or Rescue Remedy, which has Cherry Plum as one of the ingredients. We don't leave home without it. Elm is another Flower Remedy. It is for "when you feel temporarily overwhelmed with responsibilities". It is wonderful at 5pm. And Beech is a Flower Remedy for "patience with other's imperfections".

Red raspberry leaf tea, Chamomilla tea, Kava Kava, Peppermint tea all are useful calming herbs.

Cod liver oil, flax seed oil, Acidophilus, Calcium, Vitamin A (natural not synthetic) and Magnesium all help the body utilize the sex hormones more effectively. Magnesium is low in most Americans, during menstration and post-natally. Evidently, progesterone gets out of whack with pregnancy and breastfeeding. Same with Magnesium levels. All of these make one more reactive. It is hard to get enough Magnesium from food. Chocolate is high in Magnesium.

Magnesium is a critical element in 325+ biochemical reactions in the human body.
http://www.krispin.com/magnes.html

I found an interesting link about the associations of Mg, Ca, K, and Na (and thyroid problems and PMS!): http://www.ithyroid.com/potassium.htm

This one is a bit more readable: http://www.ithyroid.com/latest_ideas.htm

Magnesium utilization is increased by the presence of estrogen. And even a *lack* of sleep is associated with depleting magnesium further. Magnesium is necessary for utilization of many hormones, which affect our moods and sleep cycles. Iron, too, is depleted, of course.
http://www.emedicine.com/emerg/topic274.htm

"Peace & Calming" is an aromatherapy for a relaxed mind and restful sleep. Lavender essential oil for calming effects.

I don't know about acute homeopathics but I have seen Pulsatilla and Kali Phos mentioned.

Exercise, even 15 minutes of walking relieves depression temporarily.

Epsom Salt baths, but not late in the evening as it can have a rejuvenating effect.

Evening Primrose has helped me too.


Increased protein and fluid consumption is important to my mood stability too.

The book "Menopause & The Mind" was a referenced resource for the lay person about the interaction of hormones and moods. I am going to seek it out. Another author knowledgable about hormones and women is Susan Weed. She has several books about different stages in a woman's life: childbearing years, premenopausal, etc. I haven't read her books, but a friend recommended them. And John Lee writes about hormone balancing in relation to diet, supplements and exercise.



HTH, Pat

Pat


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#23 of 33 Old 04-26-2012, 02:06 PM
 
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Hi, Ladies,

 

I'm a man with a wife whose horrible PMS is ruining my marriage. I've read this entire thread twice. My problem is, if I breath a _WORD_ about the possibility that my spouse consider she's not being completely rational and under the influence of PMS things get very, very ugly. Like, divorce ugly. Despite this, I've soldiered through it for 12 years. That's roughly 144 weeks of sheer hell. 2 years of my life.  It would be funnier if it were somebody else, but it's not. And it's NOT just a couple of days before her period starts either. It's 2 days spinning up into a frenzy of HATE, and then STAYING THERE for a few more days. Let's just say I have a very comfy man-cave in a separate structure from the house. I've thought of renting it a few times for the extra income, and decided having a sanctuary is infinitely more important.  If we didn't have children, there is no WAY I would have stood by her this long. I'm a pretty mild-mannered guy, the hard-working bread-winner, and I let my wife do whatever it is she wants. (Which currently is working for beans at our kids school. Which I'm fine with.) Think I might be appreciated for that? Nope. I'm repaid with absolute scorn. Counceling? You bet. Then we stopped when the therapist told her SHE was the one with the lion's share of the problem. Living with hateful insanity is a hard, hard thing. It's changed my outlook on life. (Not for the better. My spirit was broken long ago by all this)  All this said, I love my wife deeply, and all I've ever wanted is her happiness and I'm still here. But all those people who split up 2 seconds after their youngest kid goes off to college? I TOTALLY get it. OK, I suspect I'll get flamed for this, so fire away...... 

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#24 of 33 Old 04-27-2012, 06:47 AM
 
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no flaming from me! I appreciate your point of view, for sure. I don't have any advice for you, but I'm sorry you're going through this. That sounds awful to deal with.  Has she ever tried anything to improve her PMS? Vitamins, herbs? medications? anything at all that you know of?  It's too bad she's so closed off from the possibility of getting help for it.  She must be in denial?

 

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Originally Posted by Jeffrey View Post

Hi, Ladies,

 

I'm a man with a wife whose horrible PMS is ruining my marriage. I've read this entire thread twice. My problem is, if I breath a _WORD_ about the possibility that my spouse consider she's not being completely rational and under the influence of PMS things get very, very ugly. Like, divorce ugly. Despite this, I've soldiered through it for 12 years. That's roughly 144 weeks of sheer hell. 2 years of my life.  It would be funnier if it were somebody else, but it's not. And it's NOT just a couple of days before her period starts either. It's 2 days spinning up into a frenzy of HATE, and then STAYING THERE for a few more days. Let's just say I have a very comfy man-cave in a separate structure from the house. I've thought of renting it a few times for the extra income, and decided having a sanctuary is infinitely more important.  If we didn't have children, there is no WAY I would have stood by her this long. I'm a pretty mild-mannered guy, the hard-working bread-winner, and I let my wife do whatever it is she wants. (Which currently is working for beans at our kids school. Which I'm fine with.) Think I might be appreciated for that? Nope. I'm repaid with absolute scorn. Counceling? You bet. Then we stopped when the therapist told her SHE was the one with the lion's share of the problem. Living with hateful insanity is a hard, hard thing. It's changed my outlook on life. (Not for the better. My spirit was broken long ago by all this)  All this said, I love my wife deeply, and all I've ever wanted is her happiness and I'm still here. But all those people who split up 2 seconds after their youngest kid goes off to college? I TOTALLY get it. OK, I suspect I'll get flamed for this, so fire away...... 

 

 

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#25 of 33 Old 04-28-2012, 11:16 AM
 
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i have a question about dosage amounts. like for b vitamins - i take a daily multivitamin that has 100% of all the b6 and b12 i need supposedly. how much more should i take of b6, for example? i'm breastfeeding (a one year old  about half a dozen times a day). also, i live in south america and can't find a lot of stuff that i could easily get in the u.s. but i did find magnesium chloride from a naturopath. she suggested i mix it with water and drink a little bit every day. or else i could bathe with it (though with a one year old, i don't bathe very often! quick showers is more like it.) so, is it ok to drink magnesium? how often? also, i get that i should be taking calcium in addition to the magnesium - and there's a history of osteoperosis in my family so calcium is even more important to me - but how much?

 

thanks for any suggestions. i stopped taking the thyroid medicine i was prescribed during pregnancy and that made a HUGE difference in my moods. i was seriously falling apart every few days, huuuuge mood swings that made me feel crazy crazy, and about ten days after stopping the medicine, i felt me again. i should have stopped taking it months ago! also i started doing a little bit of yoga every day and it's amazing how good just one simple sun salutation can make me feel. ;) also, i try and lay in the sun for just a handful of minutes every day and i think that helps a lot too.

 

thanks for this great thread. it's good to see i'm not entirely crazy. ;)

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#26 of 33 Old 04-30-2012, 07:19 AM
 
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I would be interested in hearing about the vit B dosage, type,etc.....

Wife to DH(15 years)and Mama to: Jacob(5/02)kid.gifribbonpurple.gif, and Alina(7/07)energy.gifI luxlove.gifbellyhair.gif
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#27 of 33 Old 05-01-2012, 01:53 PM
 
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Check out "Fertility Cycles and Nutrition" by Marilyn Shannon. Lots of GREAT info in that book. 

 

2 vitamin formulations that she recommends are:

 

Optivite PMT (especially for premenstrual syndrome)

 

and 

Professional Prenatal Formula. 

 

I am currently taking Professional Prenatal Formula and I swear my moods are better on it. I ran out of it for a while, and I was a mess emotionally. 

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#28 of 33 Old 05-01-2012, 02:30 PM
 
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I started having issues (typically once a month) with sadness, irrational anger, irritability and horrible anxiousness, after having my children at age 40.  My husband and I have been together almost 25 years and he said this 'new me' was very difficult to live with...and he was correct; I was an emotional wreck .    I did hormone testing  - a saliva test taken throughout the month - which indicated my progesterone dropped off the charts twice a month.  I started taking Bezwecken Progon B when I start feeling this way and I am a different person.   http://bezwecken.com/products.php

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#29 of 33 Old 10-25-2013, 10:40 AM
 
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I PMS so horrific, it is ruining everything, and in particular, my relationship with my significant other.  We were just talking about getting married two weeks ago, and last year, I dumped so many times I have now lost track.  We have been together almost 2 years, and I love him more than I ever have loved anyone in my entire life, other than my kids.  truly, I don't just make stuff up once a month, it is stuff that festers that I normally don't let get the best of me....but a week before my period arrives, I go nuts and dump him.  All last year I did this, but this entire year, I have been taking medicine.  Now that I lost my job, I was taking over the counter stuff, but the past two months, I couldn't even afford the cheap stuff....so I exploded.  yes, I dumped him again, and I think he is scared of me now, and is in too much pain to even face me as a friend.  I never had severe PMS until after I gave birth, and I had always heard that the problem is supposed to lessen after childbirth.  I think that's baloney, as most women I have talked to agreed it's worse after having kids.  Anyhoo, I know this is my fault, but my bf also has a hard time talking, even calmly, as he is very stubborn, but he did not deserve this, and truly loves me.  I have ruined my future, and am miserable.  I know men don't get it, but PMS is real.  I am going to start taking midol complete, and I heard it's much more effective than regular midol, and the lady I talked to (who almost ruined her marriage too), said she takes it all month, as opposed to just right before the period.  Once I get insurance, I am going back on Zoloft.

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#30 of 33 Old 07-06-2014, 06:02 PM
 
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me too!

I know this thread is old, but it was the first thing that popped up when I googled "I hate my husband during pms" and I resonate with a lot of what the OP said, except I don't have kids. I don't want any. I've always had a rough time around my time of the month since I started (at 10). I'm 30 now and the last 2 years have been horrendous. Not only the bad mood swings, anger, insecurity, and inability to concentrate make it bad, but on top of it, my period lasts from 8-12 days. It's completely random. And every period the mental stuff gets worse. AND the pms starts 5-7 days before my period and lasts well into it. Like my last period I didn't feel normal until a day before it left. I've been to multiple doctors and they tell me to go on the pill or an iud, which I don't want to because to me, it's a band aid for something that's seriously wrong. I had an ultrasound that came up clear and the 4 doctors I've seen in the last year straight up refuse to do any testing on me.

I'm in the process of quitting smoking, don't eat too bad (eat lots of fruit and veg but I do love my ice cream), but I do drink mild-moderately to deal with my anxiety (I've been diagnosed but am allergic to anti anxietials).

I'm at my wits end and am considering just taking the damn pill-even though I'm almost too old for it. I want a quick fix because I don't know how long my husband will put up with this. I wouldn't blame him for leaving-I wish I could leave myself 2 weeks of the month.
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