Idontwanttogotoschool-itis - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 3 Old 12-13-2012, 10:52 AM - Thread Starter
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HI-I suppose this could go on a number of boards, so please move if necessary.  My DD is 5, and in kindergarten. Since Monday she has been complaining her throat hurts, and she's tired. They sent her home from school on Monday, saying she wasn't acting herself, very tearful, saying her throat hurt. ok fine. we brought her home, and girl was completely fine. the only thing kind of off was that she did take a 2 hr nap. which never happens. Tues and yesterday we sent her to school, and her teacher said that she complained all day that her throat hurt. her teacher convinced her she was ok and she should stay. But yesterday she told me that it was like every 10 mins, so i took her directly to a CVS minute clinic b/c it was right down the street. They checked her ears and did a strep test, and besides her throat looking a little red, everything else was fine. no fever. her little sister (2) had a little puke bug on Tuesday night, so ok fine maybe she's fighting something off. but when she's at home she's fine, playing, eating, everything normally. (except for the fact that i'm making her rest and do school work). As soon as its time for school she all of a sudden feels bad again. i've asked her if there is someone that is being mean to her, child or adult, and that she could tell me anything. She said no. Then i asked her if she was jealous that dd2 got to stay home while she went to school. she said yes. i explained to her that little sis would go to school next year when she's old enough. 

After taking her to get checked out yesterday, i gave her advil and some elderberry syrup that has echinecea in it. put her to bed at 6pm. she woke up this morning all chipper, saying she felt better, playing with her sister nicely, etc. Then when it got close to time to leave, her throat hurt again and she felt pukey. DH brought her back home bc she was crying that she was going to puke. now she's lying on the couch and EATING. liar liar pants on fire! the only other thing I can think of is that she has her last MMR booster and maybe her body is having a reaction to that, since it is a live vax. i do think she is feeling off, but i also think she's blowing it WAY out of proportion. she has a field trip tomorrow and I'm debating whether to let her go or not. this really blows b/c part of me wants to believe that she really doesnt feel well, she IS pale, and off. but the other part of me is pissed because i want my happy little girl back, and not sure where this is all stemming from and i want to help her. I'm not really sure what's going on. any ideas? i'm about to call a child psychologist, seriously!

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#2 of 3 Old 12-14-2012, 08:20 PM
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Its really normal for a child so young to not want to go to school. Its scary, they miss Mama, they miss home...


Its also really common in kindergarten for children to have one virus after another. Each year it gets better, but kindergarten is the worst. They have to build immunity to all kinds of nasty bugs.


If she can't tell you that she doesn't want to go to school because she doesn't like it, because you'd make her go anyway, the next best thing is to have an illness. Lots of kids do. And because children somatize their feelings, it really does come out in their bodies - she might be feeling real discomfort. When she thinks of going to school, she feels pukey. When she knows she can stay home, she feels better.  She may not be being as deliberately manipulative as you might suspect.


So the question your family has to decide is whether emotional upset is a good reason to not go to school, or does it have to be a significant physical reason. I'm not being snarky. Its up to you to decide what is best for your family.  Is it a full-time kindergarten?

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#3 of 3 Old 12-18-2012, 09:26 AM
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Something is obviously bothering her whether its separation anxiety, viral or social. Since all arrows point to school, I would first eliminate the possibility that something inappropriate isn't happening at school. I know it's the last thing we want to consider but better safe than sorry. Do you know any other parents that share the same class and/or schedule? Maybe you could ask around to see if any of the other children have been acting out. In the mean time, I would shower her with affection to let her know she's loved equally even though her younger sibling gets to stay home. Also, show her that lying isn't the appropriate way to express our thoughts or feelings. And finally, it sounds like you are doing things to help strengthen her immune system so I'm assuming you have a healthy diet and lifestyle. It looks like you're on the right track, IMO. I hope everything turns out fine.
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