calgal07: I trully understand what you are going thru. Autism Spectrum can be a challange. AD/HD is currently classified on the "spectrum"... There are numerous ways which can help. None of them are easy but can be beneficial.
I suggest looking at her diet. What type of things does she eat? Does she perfer a lot of breads and cereals and pastas? If so, eliminate all of these. Go gf or gluten free. If she drinks a lot of milk or eats tons of chesse eliminate these. Go cf or ceasin free. This will help. Also eliminate all foods with red dyes.
Next, I would suggest to clear up yeast issues. If she has lots of runny stools, she probably has yeast. You begin this by eliminating refined sugar and giving her Grapefruit seed extract in water. Then you repopulate the gut. You can do this by using Kefir or some very strong Probiotics like Primal Defense.
Coffe is a stimulant but will help her to calm down. I was an ad/hd child, now reclassified as Aspergers Syndrom. Coffee did wonders for me in starting and completing homework.
Another thing you may wish to consider is heavy metals chelation therapy. Most people on the spectrum are toxic with at least several different metals. You can do a home detox with Heavy Metal Cleanse. You can get that in the health food store. Or if you want more information on metals testing, let me know.
A good book is by Dr. Jacquelyn McCandless called Children with Starving Brains... it is awesome on the biological treatments of autism spectrum disorders.
You could begin by upping her vitamin B6 and probably zinc. This is usually very low in autism people. some good vitamins are at www.Kirkmanlabs.com
these are specifically formulated for spectrum folks. To help her sleep, I know how diffucult it is to get her to sleep and keep her that way. Try 1 mg of melatonin. It does wonders to regulate the sleep patterns.
Never try more than one thing at a time. In case something isn't quite right for your child you will know what it is. I realize I have given you much information in a very condensed form, I apologize. If you wish to view my sources or talk with me, please feel free to pm me, I'll send you any links I have for your research.
Help is out there! Hang in there.