Bad behavior in 4 yr old. Please help - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 16 Old 07-30-2008, 05:41 PM - Thread Starter
 
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DD is 4, almost 5yrs old. She has always been a handful but lately her behavior has gotten out of hand & I don't know what to do. I'm wondering if I should have her evaluated for something, although I don't know what. Here are some of her behaviors:

*She'll ask for something & when the answer is no she'll pout & get defiant & whiny

*If she doesn't get her way she pouts & sometimes yells at us. Or if she's playing with friends she just pouts & sullks.

*She whines a zillion times a day when her baby brother (1 yr old) touches her things that she leaves out, even though we constantly remind her to put them away.

*When we're trying to discipline her she'll start shouting that she "doesn't like that word" (we have to guess which one) & then just gets irrational & more defiant if we ask which word & even hysterical.

*Sometimes when we are driving & listening to music if someone starts talking she'll tell them to stop talking (rudely) cause she can't listen to the music (as if 2 things at once is too much).

*If you interrupt her while she's talking she gets pissed & whines that we made her forget what she was going to say

*She seems sensitive to smells

Is this a sensory processing disorder? Neurological problem? Yeast overgrowth? Lyme symptoms not yet erradicated?

Mom to DMI & Silly Apple
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#2 of 16 Old 07-30-2008, 06:42 PM
 
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She sort of sounds like my dd at age 4 (though she wasn't like that constantly). My dh and I both thought that age 4 was worse than 2 or 3 with her (if that is true of ds we won't survive). She is a pretty cool 6 yr old now though.

You could post a "Is this normal behavior for a 4 yr old?" thread in GD forum. Sometimes it helps to get a perspective between what is normal developmentally and what needs investigating.

~Tracy

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#3 of 16 Old 07-30-2008, 08:05 PM
 
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You could look into food sensitivities. Try eliminating all traces of gluten and dairy for a few weeks and see if it affects her behavior.

Even at 15mo, my dd was horribly impatient and easily frustrated if she had eaten something she reacts to. She got the same way while wearing pants that were too tight, too - so maybe there's some other physical discomfort that's making her irritable?

allergy-nutrition mama, dh, 4yo dd, and March ds
Eating shouldn't be stressful!
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#4 of 16 Old 07-30-2008, 08:17 PM
 
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Yeah, I would head over to GD too. She sounds like a pretty typical kiddo and you may get some great support and ideas for creating strong boundaries, routine, natural consequences, etc. that may help her relax a bit and stop being such a PITA. I know you're well aware of food intollerance/allergy stuff so I suppose you have already thought about any possible food connections if it seems super bad.

Still a sleepy mama to my fabulous 2 year old girl
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#5 of 16 Old 07-30-2008, 10:10 PM - Thread Starter
 
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We had her allergy tested but they only tested oatmeal. it was negative. She's been off gluten & dairy for 8 months. I'm going to have her alcat tested.

I just can't help but wonder if it's something else. Her reactions are just so over the top. Everything is a huge drama.

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#6 of 16 Old 07-30-2008, 10:20 PM
 
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Originally Posted by chlobo View Post
We had her allergy tested but they only tested oatmeal. it was negative. She's been off gluten & dairy for 8 months. I'm going to have her alcat tested.

I just can't help but wonder if it's something else. Her reactions are just so over the top. Everything is a huge drama.
What do you mean they only tested oatmeal? Was that the only food? I'd also try eliminating corn and soy (they're in everything).

Something that helped us was addressing adrenal fatigue in me, and getting better vitamins into dd (through me and my milk). It changed her mood (and mine) in a matter of days.

allergy-nutrition mama, dh, 4yo dd, and March ds
Eating shouldn't be stressful!
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#7 of 16 Old 07-30-2008, 10:47 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I am treating adrenal fatigue but she isn't nursing anymore. Maybe we'll try vitamins.

They said they could only skin test foods we highly suspected & oatmeal was the only one.

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#8 of 16 Old 07-31-2008, 12:14 AM
 
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Originally Posted by chlobo View Post
I am treating adrenal fatigue but she isn't nursing anymore. Maybe we'll try vitamins.
B vitamins were key for us - especially b5 and b6 for the adrenals

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They said they could only skin test foods we highly suspected & oatmeal was the only one.
skin tests for allergies just look for IgE-mediated allergies, but the behavior type stuff you're talking about here wouldn't show up. An IgG test would be more likely to give you relevant results, but just eliminating and testing suspects is probably easier and cheaper - especially if you're already used to GFCF.

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#9 of 16 Old 07-31-2008, 07:35 AM - Thread Starter
 
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but just eliminating and testing suspects is probably easier and cheaper - especially if you're already used to GFCF.
Since she already has huge limitations on her diet removing more isn't that easy. We'tr having ALCAT testing done. I hope we get some results to guide us.

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#10 of 16 Old 07-31-2008, 11:36 AM
 
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I realize that this may sound completely random, but make sure your dd doesn't have pinworms. When my dd had them, her behavior became unmanageable. It was like she was a different child--constantly irritable, impossible to calm, etc. When the worms were gone, she returned to normal.

Also, be sure she is sleeping enough. Lack of sleep can really affect behavior. I think they need 11-12 hours at 4-5 years. Good luck figuring it out.
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#11 of 16 Old 07-31-2008, 05:41 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Sheesh. If its not one thing.

How do I tell if she has pinworms?

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#12 of 16 Old 07-31-2008, 06:29 PM
 
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Originally Posted by chlobo View Post
Sheesh. If its not one thing.

How do I tell if she has pinworms?
Check out the thread below. It should tell you everything you need to know about them.

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...hlight=pinworm

Also, I wanted to let you know that the reason I suggested this is because when my dd had them--before I actually knew--I was thinking about getting her some sort of behavioral evaluation because things were so out of hand.

I hope you figure this out soon.
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#13 of 16 Old 07-31-2008, 06:34 PM
 
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I think she sounds like a fairly normal four-year-old.
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#14 of 16 Old 07-31-2008, 08:57 PM
 
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I have to say the year 4 was definitely the most challenging with my DD. It was really tough and 5 was a lot better! :

This might be a good time to start social stories. This is an awesome set I managed to get for a steal at the goodwill.
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#15 of 16 Old 08-01-2008, 11:03 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Books look good. I'll try to find some. She loves reading.

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#16 of 16 Old 08-01-2008, 11:15 AM
 
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Originally Posted by rabbitmum View Post
I think she sounds like a fairly normal four-year-old.
Yup.

My daughter went into weird, horrible, rude, rebellious phase for a couple of months before she was five and has just come out of it at five and a month old.
She did everything that your daughter is doing and more. The worst was that at school she was absolutely refusing to anything her teacher asked. She'd just stand with her arms crossed saying "NO!"

I spoke to her teacher about it and asked if she had any suggestions and if there was anything I could do to help support her at school. I was told "No, no need to even say anything to her unless you want to." She said that this was very typical almost 5 behaviour and they do get over it though they are hard to live with at the time!
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