PINK Eye & my frustrating "FRIEND"... suggestions needed & my VENT - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 8 Old 11-01-2008, 11:06 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Hello,
Very quick intro: I have 5 kids (1,3,6,9,12) and mainly just LOVE to read here. I have a "friend" who seriously frustrates me sooooo BADLY, with her lack of common sense when it comes to taking care of her 6 children. And I don't believe I'm just being critical, trust me, I've gone back and forth with myself wondering if it's just a "critical spirit"..... she's a good mom but there's a lot of "safety issues". Anyway, we had a get-together last night at our Church, baking lots of pizzas for about 15 kids and lots of adults... there were lots of food & games, ect. I took a look at my friends DH and his ONE eye was OBVIOUSLY very very infected. So, after a minute I said to Friend, "What happened to D, did he get hit in the eye?" I knew perfectly well what had "happened" but just wanted to hear her say it. "No, he's got pink eye". He's preparing food, setting tables, ect....No GLOVES! OMG i should have just gathered my kids and left!!!! PINK EYE IS CLEARLY VERY CONTAGIOUS, ISN'T IT?! My family has had very little experience with this condition, thank God! A few minutes later we were all sitting around a table just chatting, she looked at her 2.5 year old and made comments about him not feeling well and the pink eye "he's coming down with".... I was about out of PATIENCE! I said, "Yeah, T, and Pink eye is VERY CONTAGIOUS!" Her reply: "Well, actually, it's not VERY CONTAGIOUS, D's had it about 2 weeks and only a couple of the kids have gotten it. I sleep with the man and I don't have it, so it's not VERY contagious". I thought I was going to lose it.

just don't know how much longer I'm going to be able to stand it! I mean, this on top of the other STUFF she does (like cramming her 6 kids and herself in her little 5 passenger car, they do have a 12p van, too). I have Nursery tomorrow at Church, and I'm thinking that I should NOT allow her 2 youngest kids to be in the nursery tomorrow. Maybe I could allow her youngest who isn't mobile yet & keep her away from other kids, like in an activity chair or swing, but then again that's not very cool. What do you think? I know this is a long post, but I would be very grateful for INPUT and FACTS, as well as OPINIONS & SUGGESTIONS. I've looked at other THREADS here about PINK EYE, as well as "info" from the internet. I'd love to have some info printed to "hand out" at the nursery door tomorrow. ANYONE THINK I"M making too big of a deal here? As i said, this on top of the other things she does is getting to me. In a way, this is kind of "small" compared to some other things, but this is the latest.... please feel free to respond to this scenario. Thanks!

Dana, Wife to DH, SAHM to Mac, 14, Mikael, 10, Holland Eve, 8, Danica Lyn, 5, Noah Rebekah, 3, & baby brother Elisha Isaac, born 7/21/09
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#2 of 8 Old 11-01-2008, 11:39 AM
 
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It has nothing to do with pinkeye. It's the fact that she doesn't think of anyone besides herself. My brother and his wife are the same way. For Father's Day we all met at my father's house. As we're all sitting there eating, my SIL said that the oldest dd (12yo) was throwing up all night the night before "but she's fine now". I was like WHAT?!!?!??!!?? And you brought her here? So the next night, my father and his girlfriend, and 1 of my kids were all throwing up, and my SIL and her other child were throwing up. Hello?!?!? And it's not the first time. Some people just DO NOT get it unfortunately. They are just inconsiderate.

Are there specific rules for the nursery (no fever/vomiting within 24 hours, no contagious diseases, active coughing, etc)? And if there aren't any, maybe there should be for the health of everyone at the church.

Kathy, mother of 3, wife of 1. My new recipe blog: www.kathysrecipebox.wordpress.com (no longer searchable by allergen, but at least it doesn't have a virus!)
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#3 of 8 Old 11-01-2008, 11:51 AM
 
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I think it depends on the policy at your Church. I know mine has a written health policy that is posted. It pretty much says the standard "Children need to be free of any symptoms of potential contagious disease for 24 hours before coming to nursery or other children's activities. Symptoms include fever over 100.5 deg F, vomiting, diarhea, green mucous from nose or eyes." It also includes a specific listing of illnessess such as pink eye, strep, the flu, etc. that you should keep all your children home if anyone in your family has had these diseases in the past week or so.

As for handling this tomorrow if the Church does not have a written policy... I would discuss it with the Children's Director. Explain that while you don't want to offend this other mom you also don't feel very good about allowing her kids to come to nursery and infect the whole church. Our Children's Director has no problems with being "the bad guy" and would stand in the hallway and have a chat with her if the kids or adults showed any symptoms of illness. Yes, it might upset her... but it's not right for her to just show up and infect everyone else.

Beth
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#4 of 8 Old 11-01-2008, 01:54 PM
 
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Not cool at all!! : But it wouldn't be the first time somebody brought a sick kid into the nursery and got all of the other kids sick... I know its a small church and everybody is fairly close, but there needs to be a set of guidelines for this sort of thing. What happened this summer was bad enough, but if they all catch Pink Eye.... ugh.

(I am the OP's sister, BTW)
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#5 of 8 Old 11-01-2008, 02:28 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Lindsay is right! And I agree with previous posters on this thread about enforcing "clear cut, strict" rules on ill kids in the nursery and the other kid's classes. Enough is enough. My "friend" is def. the type who just "doesn't get it". The rules never apply to her or her family. Thanks for the replies. I've already been on the phone to someone "in charge", in prep for tomorrow. Offense is likely but that's life, I guess.

Dana, Wife to DH, SAHM to Mac, 14, Mikael, 10, Holland Eve, 8, Danica Lyn, 5, Noah Rebekah, 3, & baby brother Elisha Isaac, born 7/21/09
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#6 of 8 Old 11-01-2008, 04:06 PM
 
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There are kinds of conjunctivitis that aren't contagious. If it's due to allergies or some irritant, it's not an issue.

However, if it's already spread to someone, that's a pretty clear sign that it's contagious.

Breast milk helps it clear up, if that's an option.

But I do agree that people with it shouldn't mix with others at social gathering. And kids shouldn't go to daycare.
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#7 of 8 Old 11-01-2008, 05:42 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for the replies. I have read other threads here on MDC and saw the BM suggestion.... also read that some have said it doesn't work. Yes, I've thought about sharing that idea with her. Last night she and her hubby both talked briefly about their family's rather frequent bouts with Pink Eye. "Friend" says she uses "Melagel"..... she rubs it on their eyes!!! OMG! I don't know what your opinions are on Melaleuca products.... personally i've tried them, researched a bit, and have discovered varying opinions & "facts" and could take or leave the products. I've heard they aren't all their cracked up to be. I do have the "Wellness Guide" from the company. I dug it out of a box and read under conjunctivitis that "no meleleuca product should be used in the eye." Who the heck told her to use that on their eyes?!?! Also, FWIW, I spoke to a "leader" in our church about this ...... she said to def. NOT take the 2 lo's in the nursery tomorrow,,,, she'd back me if there's an issue. We will POST a sick policy by next Sun. at the latest.

Dana, Wife to DH, SAHM to Mac, 14, Mikael, 10, Holland Eve, 8, Danica Lyn, 5, Noah Rebekah, 3, & baby brother Elisha Isaac, born 7/21/09
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#8 of 8 Old 11-01-2008, 05:48 PM - Thread Starter
 
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.

Dana, Wife to DH, SAHM to Mac, 14, Mikael, 10, Holland Eve, 8, Danica Lyn, 5, Noah Rebekah, 3, & baby brother Elisha Isaac, born 7/21/09
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