06-10-2014, 09:09 AM
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Join Date: Mar 2014
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First Intercourse After Baby
I think I'm posting this in the right board?
First-time mom here. My husband and I attempted intercourse a couple of weeks ago for the first time after I had given birth. DD is just over 5 months old. We didn't really intend to wait this long, but hubby travels occasionally for work and it's been a busy season for us. We had kind of fooled around a few times prior, but nothing had gone this far. DD co-slept with us at night for the first 4.5 months but now she nurses to sleep on a floor bed in her room next door.
My midwife cleared me to try sex at our 1 month post-natal appointment (with the caveat that if it was too uncomfortable to wait another couple of weeks before trying again). I had a minor (minor enough to not require any stitches) perineal tear from labor, which is fully healed and hasn't bothered me since 4-5 weeks post-partum. I am also, of course, much dryer than normal due to hormones.
Anywho, penetration was definitely uncomfortable. Like super-tight-painful feeling. I've always been tighter - intercourse was initially very uncomfortable to me until I learned how to intentionally relax and tighten my vaginal muscles during penetration. We also incorporated a lot of oral sex for lubrication and arousal purposes. Then it was very fun and satisfying. However, when he entered me recently and I tried to relax myself the way I had before baby, it didn't work. I gave it a few minutes but we had to stop and resort to other methods.
I guess what I'm looking for is some help mitigating my (and hubby's) expectations? I had figured that with no major tearing that we would be back at it comfortably by 3 or 4 months post-partum. For those of you who found intercourse painful, what did you do to help make it enjoyable again? It is simply a matter of time? Do we need to "practice" more frequently?
Thanks in advance!
Join Date: May 2014
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It sounds like you need more lube and more foreplay. If you go to the adult toystore in your city (hopefully there's a good one), they can recommend a brand of lube that would suit you. Or you can get a bunch of small packets of different kinds and experiment. Most online retailers carry lube as well, including Amazon.