So dh is sick with a cold and last night around 1 he was up blowing his nose and coughing non stop, so of course I wake up too and could not for the life of me fall back alseep. I kept remembering my miscarriage that happened almost a year ago and reliving it in every gory detail and really just freaking myself out.
I wont get into the really bad details, but I was 11w pg, but baby had stopped growing around 7-8. I had been crampy all day but started having real contractions around 1am and they didn't stop until 8am. It was amazing how real the contractions were, they were a minute or more long and 1-2 min apart, except for one period near the end where I swear I was in transition (although I don't know how that is possible) where contractions came right on top of each other and I was writhing on the bathroom floor begging DH to take me to the hospital.
I keep telling myself how different a m/c is than labor - it was terrifying, devastating, I had no support, I had no idea what was happening, no clue how long it would last, no idea what was normal, no great prize at the end of it to push myself onward to. So, of course, labor of a baby is going to be different, easier, etc.
But then the other part of my brain is like, yeah - BUT! What a tiny thing you had to give birth to, how much did you really have to dilate for that? Your uterus was tiny still, so its a tiny muscle contracting vs. the huge one it is now and will be when I deliver Isla. Plus my m/s "labor" only lasted about 7 hours, chances are this one will be longer still.
I second guess my ability to do this naturally, to do it at all. I always hear/read about women who had really bad first births and somehow overcome that to go on and have a great successful natural birth, I just need to find a way to get over my fears and become one of those women.
Can anyone help me?
I wont get into the really bad details, but I was 11w pg, but baby had stopped growing around 7-8. I had been crampy all day but started having real contractions around 1am and they didn't stop until 8am. It was amazing how real the contractions were, they were a minute or more long and 1-2 min apart, except for one period near the end where I swear I was in transition (although I don't know how that is possible) where contractions came right on top of each other and I was writhing on the bathroom floor begging DH to take me to the hospital.
I keep telling myself how different a m/c is than labor - it was terrifying, devastating, I had no support, I had no idea what was happening, no clue how long it would last, no idea what was normal, no great prize at the end of it to push myself onward to. So, of course, labor of a baby is going to be different, easier, etc.
But then the other part of my brain is like, yeah - BUT! What a tiny thing you had to give birth to, how much did you really have to dilate for that? Your uterus was tiny still, so its a tiny muscle contracting vs. the huge one it is now and will be when I deliver Isla. Plus my m/s "labor" only lasted about 7 hours, chances are this one will be longer still.
I second guess my ability to do this naturally, to do it at all. I always hear/read about women who had really bad first births and somehow overcome that to go on and have a great successful natural birth, I just need to find a way to get over my fears and become one of those women.
Can anyone help me?