Mothering Forum banner

Dreading the holidays....

629 views 8 replies 8 participants last post by  EBeth0000 
#1 ·
I usually like x-mas eve and x-mas, I love picking out gifts for people, spending time with my family, and relaxing.

This year, I'm 24 and 3000 miles from home. I'm in NYC for school living with my wonderful boyfriend and MY family is in Seattle. My boyfriend's family is an hour away, so that's where we'll be spending x-mas eve and x-mas day, and probably a lot of time over our holiday break until the baby gets here. Then, I'm guessing that his family is going to want to see the baby a ton (who wouldn't? baby's are cute) and will be coming to visit us at least a little.

Anyway, I'm homesick already and I'm not even done with my exams (1 more, a take home due Friday), and all I want is for the baby to come (I'm 37 weeks today) this weekend so that I have an excuse not to go anywhere for x-mas. I also just want to spend time with my boyfriend. We haven't been together very long, and this baby was a huge surprise, and so this is our first x-mas together. His family is great, and have been very welcoming of me, which I appreciate. His mother is especially sweet, which is great since my mom has the worlds worst MIL so at least I don't have to deal with that. His family is also very confusing, they are loud and there's a lot of them - which is fine, but when I'm homesick (and hormonal) its not a good combination.

Ugh, I just want to go home!!! This is the first time EVER I'm not at home for x-mas! And my parents aren't coming until the middle of January to visit - they don't want to get here until after the baby is born b/c its their first grandbaby. I wish I was excited about the holidays...Any ideas on how to get into it?
 
See less See more
#2 ·


I remember my first year that I was not able to make it home for the holidays... it was awful!

One thing that did help some... decorate! Even if it's just you and your BF at your apartment get a tree or whatever... make some cookies. Just having some holiday stuff around helped make it less dismal for me. It was still hard, but before that tree went up it was definitely more gloomy.

I had fun ordering everyone's gifts online too.

Hang in there. It is tough not being able to go home for the holidays.
 
#4 ·
Honey I totally feel for you. All my family is also back in the Seattle area and sadly I can't say I have spent a "family" Christmas with any of them in about 12 years. At least not like I had growing up. The first year is the hardest in so many ways.

You end up having to create or recreate your own holiday traditions to fit the way your life has/is changing now. With your child having relatives now on both coasts it will be up to you to create some yearly continuity with special things you do every year.

It took me until last Friday to bring up our small tree and it was all I could do to throw 3 strings of lights up and put the 1 "Baby's First" ornament on the tree for the 4 month old. The only other thing I managed was put the wreath on the door. Not much but it feels closer to normal. Our tree will only have about 6 gifts under it but I don't care that isn't what it is about.

I'm not certain if I will get to do all our family traditions this year. I'm tired and don't have enough hands, hubby would need to help more to accomplish but I am still gonna try.
~ home made cinnamon rolls with cream cheese frosting, close to Cinnabon ones
~ Eve dinner of ham, scalloped taters, green beans and fresh pumpkin pie
~ big bacon, egg, orange french toast and yummy coffee breakfast
~ spend the day in jammies, even if we shower
~ watch movies, hang out and snack, play games together
~ we sometimes wonder over to our friends house for a short visit
~ throughout the day there are calls to and from various family

I am disinclined to travel at this time of year. WAY too much hassle and expense in my opinion but I am sure if we are still living in Denver in another 5-6 years we may coordinate a big family get together. I'd want the kids old enough to remember it in order to make it worth it for all.
 
#5 ·
Honestly? Don't go to his family's place for the holidays. Play the pregnancy card--as in you don't want to get into the car for an hour and/or you want to stay home with your man and nest. There's nothing wrong with that, and why put pressure on yourself to celebrate Christmas in a way that you don't want to this year.

I'm about the same number of weeks along as you are and that's why my partner and I have decided to do. a.) I can barely make it from home to work on our lovely NYC transit, let alone deal with Penn Station and Amtrak and suitcases, etc. and b.) This is our second Christmas together, but the only one where we'll be able to hang out just the two of us. After the birth, our place will be crazy (in a calm way, of course) and there will be plenty of time for my family and his (even though his family is overseas) to cuddle the baby. Right now, though, I need to be cuddled by my beau--alone! Even though my family isn't that far away (about 4+ hours south), I told them that we just need this time and that's fine by them.

Just my two cents.

Best of luck--and have a happy (stress-free) holiday!
 
#7 ·
Thanks everyone for the support!

I'm trying to convince my bf to spend x-mas eve night here, and then go out to his parents after breakfast on x-mas morning. The family would be super offended if we didn't go visit them on x-mas - so I'm trying plan B. I'd just like to be able to call my family before we get out to see his, and do something special just for us on x-mas too. I really need to call a friend to go with me to do x-mas shopping too...I haven't gotten my bf anything yet, and I hate driving here in queens (I'm terrified to drive anywhere with traffic when I'm not in my own car, which is in Seattle).

Maybe I'll feel better once I tackle that one last exam I have to do....
 
#8 ·
I know how you feel. Last year my sister moved away (she was the only family near me). It was fine though, since everyone decided to come here for Christmas. Well this year no one is coming, so it is just me and my boys. I am trying to find out if SO's family is doing anything that we can go to. Oh, and my family isn't coming until April to see the baby, so I am kind of bummed.
 
#9 ·
You will feel so much better after Friday!!!

Can you do anything with your BF to volunteer or help others? I lived totally alone in a big city for many years of my 20s, flat-a$$ broke, couldn't come home for the holidays, and they only thing that made me feel more cheerful and happy and in the spirit was helping others.

I know that's not totally feasible with the school and nesting and everyone's finances are tight. And I get that you might not be in a place to do that. But. . .

Maybe caroling in your apartment building (DH lived in NYC for 7 years so he thinks this idea is crazy hilarious) Or serving a holiday meal with a charity in your community? Or maybe just attending a worship service? Help with a coat or food drive? Or just arrange to get an elderly neighbor to the store or bring someone housebound some cookies? I'll stop while I sound COMPLETELY pollyanna-ish
 
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.
Top