Is this an irrational fear? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 8 Old 01-08-2009, 12:24 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm 40+2 and my baby has only dropped a tiny little bit. Like, only enough so that baby isn't completely living in my ribs, but not enough so that I'm feeling increased pressure down below.

My fear is that my baby's head is too big to fit My boyfriend had an abnormally large head when he was born, the doctors thought he had water on the brain and he had to go in every week to get his head measured. He was delivered by c/s, but his mom didn't try labor b/c she had a c/s with his older sister too so she didn't try for a VBAC b/c it was a classical incision.

It feels like my baby is resting on my pubic bone, and it hurts, alot! But really, is my fear completely irrational or could it be possible? I'm a pretty small person - 5'4", wear a size 2 pre-preg (still in about a size 4 probably except for the big ole belly in the way) and worried b/c I really just want this baby to be born!
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#2 of 8 Old 01-08-2009, 12:38 PM
 
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Disclaimer: Not in your DDC, not your body type and no history of 'big headedness'.

My DD didn't drop or engage into the birth canal until after the midwife broke my water. That was about 15 hours into active labor. But 30 minutes afterwards she was born.

I don't know if that helps or not. Just wanted to throw it out there.

Pregnant and/or Breastfeeding since 2005
Mama to two girls: 5/06 and 3/09
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#3 of 8 Old 01-08-2009, 01:30 PM
 
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I'm sorry you're stressing about that - try not to focus on it in a fearful way. My dd's didn't have small heads, either, and I'm 5'1 very small frame. That has nothing to do with how you'll do in birth. It's the rare exception that a mom grows a baby too big.

Mama to 3 girls 12,8,3
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#4 of 8 Old 01-08-2009, 02:24 PM
 
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I hope you don't mind me jumping in. I'm 4'11" and as of late I'm having the same concern. Baby is still really high and everyone keeps telling me I should have a c/s because I'm so small and birth is going to be so traumatic for both baby and I. It doesn't help that my due date was yesterday and still there are no signs of labor. I'm afraid if this baby doesn't come out soon she'll get too big --- is this rational??
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#5 of 8 Old 01-08-2009, 02:52 PM
 
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The outside measurement of you hips has nothing to do with how big of a pelvic intlet you have (the space for the baby to come through. Some "large" hipped women have a small space and some "small" hipped women have quite a large space.

You just can't know until the baby comes. I've known many small women have very big headed babies. It would be exremely rare for the baby to really not fit. Although that excuse is given to mothers too often--as are many other excuses to get them to do interventions like inductions or C/S. Don't believe them. As long as you and the baby are testing fine--everything is okay.

I am a large hipped woman who "they" claim has too small of an inlet (CPD) to birth my large babies. I'm still attempting it for the third time (HBA2C)--because how do "they" know? I just don't buy it. I found a more patient care giver this time and it WILL work! (The first two times, supposedly conservative MDs, talked me into interventions that I regretted and ended up with C/S.)

Mom to 5 amazing kids! (DS8, DS7, DD4, DD2 and DS0)

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#6 of 8 Old 01-08-2009, 03:32 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm not being scared by my health care providers, I see a group of midwives who are all awesome and I really like the birthing center I'll be at (assuming I don't have to transfer), I'm really just worried b/c my boyfriends head is huge - its still disproportionate to his body, and when he was a baby his head was way bigger than most babies. Added to the fact that baby is still high and I'm past my EDD, I'm worrying about alot of things that I probably shouldn't be worried about
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#7 of 8 Old 01-08-2009, 04:31 PM
 
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I've been repeating to myself "My body will not grow a baby that I cannot birth." It really is rare. And although I'm a large woman and really have no reason to fear that this baby will be too big for me, the truth is my son was only 5 1/2 lbs and this baby is easily 8 1/2 already, so I'm nervous, but reassuring myself that I can and WILL do this.

Momma to DS1 4/5/06 nursed with IGT to self-weaning at 27 months, DS2 1/20/09 still nursing, DS3 due late November - planning to tandem with IGT and SNS
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#8 of 8 Old 01-08-2009, 08:55 PM
 
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I don't think you're being irrational, but is there any chance you're fixating on this one thing to sort of focus your worry in general? I tend to do that when I'm stressed. I sort of pick one possibility of what could go wrong and stress out about that. It drives my DH crazy, but he's helped me recognize it.

Like PPs have said, it's extremely unlikely that the baby won't fit through your pelvis. Part of the pain you feel now could in fact be your pubic bone stretching out before delivery. The hormone relaxin makes this happen prior to birth. And your midwives will be able to recognize any problems that come up and make sure you get the right care.

I know your worried but I'm sure it will be okay!

I should probably be doing something else right now.
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