Finnian is here! (I love him, but he's sort of a pain) - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 15 Old 02-01-2009, 08:34 PM - Thread Starter
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This is a late announcement, Finnian Kyeong Hoenke was born on January 17th at 12:37 am. I had 45 hours of labor! But I was still able to have my totally natural drug free home birth! I'm so proud of me.

Unfortunately this announcement is so late because this is literally the first time I have been on the computer for more than five minutes since I went into labor on the 15th.

I was so prepared for natural childbirth. I knew everything, I could recite the complications and the implications of them standing on my head. I never once asked for drugs, asked to go to the hospital, or even yelled at my husband while I was in labor! But now I know I was not at all prepared for the horror that is postpartum recovery:

-Regardless of the stool softeners I take, the activia I eat, the prune juice I drink, the fruits and veggies I eat, and the fiber I try to get, I cannot have a good poop. Constipation is the worst.

-I have a second degree tear that feels like it keeps popping back open a little bit and bleeds more every time I poop.

-My left leg swelled to the size of a baby elephant for a whole day. The joy of worrying about blood clots!

-Finnian's tongue was tied so his latch was terrible for the first three days of his life before we figured out that it was a problem. Absolutely none of the doctors in the area would give us an appointment to get it clipped for at least a week. They would not listen when I said it was an emergency and that my baby was not able to eat. Finally I found a midwife who traveled over an hour to come to the house to clip it.

-Since then his latch seemed to improve and my nipples started to feel better. But then they got worse again. We saw a lactation consultant and she gave me a nipple shield to help to give me some relief. I use it when me and Finn just can't line up, we try and try and try to get a good latch but just end up both frustrated and sobbing. My nipples are cracked and scabbed and I seriously think that breastfeeding is worse than natural childbirth.

-I am now recovering from my first breast infection. Intense chills, fever, engorgement, and a throbbing headache.

-Now we think that Finn may have thrush. Which I suppose is a good thing because if that is the case at least it's something that can be fixed.

I want to be happier than I am, but this shit really adds up, especially with the hormones and the sleep deprivation. I hate that I flinch every time that I see that Finn is waking up because I know that I am going to have to feed him again. I hate that my life consists of feeding and sleeping. I don't even have the energy to adore him like I want to, I mean I literally only see him when he's smashed against my boob.

I wish I had been better prepared for this. I never imagined that this would be so bad. And now my husband is going back to work. Tomorrow is his first full day back. My first day on my own with Finnian in a town and state where I don't have any friends or family. Of course we moved right after I got pregnant!

Thanks for letting me rant. It almost looks funny all written out like this. I mean seriously how can this all be happening!?
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#2 of 15 Old 02-01-2009, 08:53 PM
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Congrats on your baby boy!!

I'm sorry you're having so much trouble BF'ing, and as for only seeing your baby when he's eating, cuddle with him while he's sleeping - that helped me bond with Lincoln while I was recovering.
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#3 of 15 Old 02-01-2009, 09:38 PM
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Hugs! Congratulations!
It is hard. It will get better!

Can I suggest Ionic Fizz Magnesium twice a day in addition to your stools softener? Between the two, it's helping me.

Mom to 5 amazing kids! (DS10, DS8, DD5, DD3 and DS1)
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#4 of 15 Old 02-01-2009, 09:48 PM
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Haley, I am not in your DDC, but I couldn't pass your post and not give you hugs.

Minions...I've got minions. Sheepish.gifblahblah.gifangel2.gifkid.gif  And dogs.  
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#5 of 15 Old 02-01-2009, 11:02 PM
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#6 of 15 Old 02-01-2009, 11:12 PM
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Everyone seems to leave out that life with a new born isn't always warm fuzzies and smiley moments. It was much worse for me with DD. She never slept. We got thrush (which I'm worried about again now, my left breast is so frigggen tender and sore) at 3 weeks, and the pain in the begining of nursing, ack. But it does get better, miraculously, it all gets better. The pain goes away and like gets easier. I know EXACTLY how you feel about when the baby wakes up, and almost dreading it too. *hugs*

My DD was born on the 17th of Jan as well, after 36 hours of natural labor. Maybe those 17th babies are extra stubborn Capricorns!

mom to Reaghan born underwater into midwife's hands 1/17/07 & Myra born surrounded by doulas and midwife at home 1/12/09. Birth Educator, and Photographer, Baby #3 Coming May 2013!

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#7 of 15 Old 02-02-2009, 08:04 AM
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He's here! :

and big for you - sounds like you two had it rough!

ugh i hate constipation. still dealing somewhat myself though it's loads better. i take Natural Calm magnesium every day, myself. i'm told it's a function of getting intestines back into their place and all that. i wish it'd just go away!

: what's with those doctors not wanting to help?
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#8 of 15 Old 02-02-2009, 09:53 AM
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Congratulations, and . You have had a rough start, but it sounds like you are holding it together. My babe was also born 1/17, but she is my 4th, so I was prepared for the after the birth yuckiness. My DD has a mild tongue tie as well, but we are not getting it clipped as of yet. She seems to be doing well as she is. I second the motion for the ionic magnesium fizz. It should help with the constipation, and it tastes better than prune juice.

Mama to 4 darlings. A ('03), O and K ('06), A ('09), and wife to M since 2002.
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#9 of 15 Old 02-02-2009, 10:56 AM
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s I'm so sorry! The terrible nursing problems remind me of #1 as a baby. I had inverted nipples and didn't know it. Boy, was that miserable!

And with this one, I'm dealing with a large tear and constipation.

Babies certainly have their price, don't they?

Julie, wife to DH , mom of DD 8/99 and DS 1/09 , and #3 due 11/14/10
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#10 of 15 Old 02-02-2009, 11:05 AM
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congrats on your boy....:: The beginning is hard...I dread the getting started on breast feeding and loosing all that sleep... My boy was born on the 16th of January so we are right with you...Last night I sat in my room just crying because I'm sick and so tired and there is so much that needs to be done... But it felt good to get it out to release all that emotion and I'm trying to just take it easy and enjoy this as much as I will let myself... So if it helps you are not alone...

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#11 of 15 Old 02-02-2009, 11:58 AM
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I went through very similar problems with DD. Tongue-tie, nursing problems, mastitis repeatedly, a very high needs baby,etc. It's so hard and no one can truly understand unless they've been there. FWIW, despite having DD's tongue clipped, we still had issues so I used the shields exclusively for over 4 months. I don't think I could have stuck with BF without them. Also, phytolacca does wonders for mastitis. I had a lot of guilt that I wasn't enjoying DD the way that other people enjoyed their babies. It's hard to be blissful when you feel like you are barely surviving. It does get better, I promise! If you ever need an understanding ear, PM me anytime! Congratulations, it sounds like you are an amazing mama!
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#12 of 15 Old 02-02-2009, 01:29 PM
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Congratulations to you!

I'm sorry you're having a rough will get easier!

Molly, mama to my 3 sweet boys.
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#13 of 15 Old 02-03-2009, 02:27 AM
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Hey- it gets better! I had the same experience with my first. I cried every time I nursed- cracked, bleeding nipples, mastitis, a complete crazy sleep deprived mess, 3rd degree tear. By 6 weeks things started to improve dramatically. It will be ok. No one can prepare for the humongous life change a first baby brings. You are not alone. You will feel like yourself again someday.
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#14 of 15 Old 02-04-2009, 10:25 AM
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Don't feel guilty, it sounds like you are having a challenging postpartum period! I know I am really emotional after having a baby. I feel great when everything lines up perfectly, but even without any complications right now I can cry over the first thing that goes wrong.

Is there any way you can get some support? Could you pump and give bottles a few times a day for a break? I haven't had those specific nursing problems, so maybe check with a lactation consultant first, but my kids seemed to be able to switch between bottles and nursing after the first few weeks. If you don't have a pump, check with your insurance company. Many of them are starting to cover breast pumps.

Spoil yourself somehow! Take some baths, eat some chocolate, watch some movies and order take out! It will get better soon, and you deserve some pamperring and bright spots in your days right now! You just accomplished an amazing feat of a natural labor that long - congrats there!

Best of luck to you!
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#15 of 15 Old 02-06-2009, 04:56 PM
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Originally Posted by haleythegreat View Post
My nipples are cracked and scabbed and I seriously think that breastfeeding is worse than natural childbirth.
Only for the first 6-8 weeks *hugs* Then there's this moment where it all clicks and suddenly, you realize you're nursing without pain or any issues and you wonder "Why did I think this was so hard?" And the second time you're doing it? You're better prepared, but there's still all the learning, all over again, for the new baby. They're NEVER prepared

I remember how hard that first transition was. I WAS prepared for it. It didn't matter. It's so. hard. adjusting to all of that. But it will happen!

Congratulations on your little boy ^_^

(oh, and I thought Lilly had thrush, turned out to be milk stain, then I thought Naomi had it--same thing, it just went away after a week and a half, although I still have pain, it's nipple stretching, which also has an end point... not to say yours isn't, but TWICE I went through that *sigh*)

Talkative, AP SAHMama to my bright and spirited girls Lilly 10-15-06, Naomi 1-1-09 vbac.gif and Katarina 11-16-11 vbac.gif

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