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#1 of 10 Old 02-22-2009, 04:37 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm trying to prepare mentally that I will likely need to go back to work on Wednesday... my request to extend my maternity leave is still in review and I only have two days left of vacation to take, so if they don't have a decision or it is denied I have to go back Wednesday.

Has anyone else had to go back yet? How is it going? Any advice getting through the first day? Each time I think about it I start crying and literally get sick to my stomach. I'm trying to find some stronger will power to deal with it.

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#2 of 10 Old 02-22-2009, 12:27 PM
 
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I know you've thought of this, but do you have to go back to work? Does the daycare amount justify your salary and mental health? Can you cut back on expenses for a couple of years?

I told work 6 weeks into my 9 week maternity leave that I wasn't coming back with first DS. It was tight, money wise, but I don't regret it.

Good luck with your decision.
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#3 of 10 Old 02-22-2009, 01:19 PM
 
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Many of us have to work and there is no way around it.

I went back at 7 weeks PP with my first and it was tough, but doable. Try to remind yourself (and your coworkers/boss!) you're not Superwoman, and take it easy on yourself if you screw up the first week back. Remember that you've been out of work for several weeks so somethings you've forgotten, and realize that your priorities have shifted dramatically, especially if this is your first baby.

Make it a point to pump 2-3 times in an 8-hour shift. Make it your priority. Don't let ANYTHING stop you from pumping when you intend to. Get in the habit of making that break a priority the first couple weeks, and you'll have an easier time keeping to it in the future.


What questions, concerns and worries do you have? I may be able to say more if I know what your concerns are.


I'm heading back around 12 weeks PP this time, and it's still not long enough to be home with the little one. But I feel much more physically capable now at 7 weeks PP than I did the first time around, even after a similar birth experience. Every recovery is different. Every baby is different.
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#4 of 10 Old 02-22-2009, 01:55 PM
 
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I should go back 3/23 and it makes me want to cry. But DH was laid off in October, and I am the only one b ringing money in. I'm a teacher and it hurts to teach other people's children, and not care for mine. *sigh*
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#5 of 10 Old 02-22-2009, 02:55 PM
 
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Originally Posted by ~gilli~ View Post
I should go back 3/23 and it makes me want to cry. But DH was laid off in October, and I am the only one b ringing money in. I'm a teacher and it hurts to teach other people's children, and not care for mine. *sigh*


I had to return to teaching 5 weeks after my first was born. It really does hurt to spend all day with other people's kids while yours is with some other teacher. I hope you have April vacation to look forward to. Then there is always memorial day weekend, and then summer vacation. Hang in there!

Mama to 4 darlings. A ('03), O and K ('06), A ('09), and wife to M since 2002.
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#6 of 10 Old 02-22-2009, 06:43 PM
 
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Originally Posted by _betsy_ View Post
Many of us have to work and there is no way around it.

I went back at 7 weeks PP with my first and it was tough, but doable. Try to remind yourself (and your coworkers/boss!) you're not Superwoman, and take it easy on yourself if you screw up the first week back. Remember that you've been out of work for several weeks so somethings you've forgotten, and realize that your priorities have shifted dramatically, especially if this is your first baby.

Make it a point to pump 2-3 times in an 8-hour shift. Make it your priority. Don't let ANYTHING stop you from pumping when you intend to. Get in the habit of making that break a priority the first couple weeks, and you'll have an easier time keeping to it in the future.


What questions, concerns and worries do you have? I may be able to say more if I know what your concerns are.


I'm heading back around 12 weeks PP this time, and it's still not long enough to be home with the little one. But I feel much more physically capable now at 7 weeks PP than I did the first time around, even after a similar birth experience. Every recovery is different. Every baby is different.
I agree with Betsy here - and this is my second time around of going back to work. I know the hardest thing for me was to admit I could not be Superwoman being back in my job and then I had to set boundaries (clear ones) of what I could do or not just coming back on the scene. Sticking to the boundaries of what you can take on is so helpful because everyone is expecting you to be back like you were just returning from a super relaxing vacation and not hectic full time job of raising/caring for a newborn.

Yes to the pumping 2-3 times during the day - I actually blocked out time for me in my outlook calendar so I wouldn't have meetings scheduled during my pumping times - cus I hated the feeling of "let down" right in the middle of a meeting.

I'm about to head back in a couple of weeks (or the end of March if my doctor says so )

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#7 of 10 Old 02-23-2009, 12:56 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Some really good advice. I am very lucky to have a super awesome and understanding boss. He has been really great with the fight with the insurance people and has been on my side for me to get more time out, even though that means everyone in our dept. is stretched thin longer covering for me.

Great idea about putting pumping sessions on the calendar. I have talked to another lady at work who pumps and she has set up an old file room for us to use. My boss has always been really laid back about breaks, just as long as the work gets done.

I am actually going to be talking to him in hopes of working out to only work in the office 6 hours, then working from home for 2 hours. I am praying this pans out. I would likely be able to get in a nap then before the whole night time marathon. lol Maybe it will help keep me more sane...

My biggest worry really is the baby. My DH is watching her in the mornings... but he is the soundest sleeper ever. She will be crying in bed next to him and he won't even hear her. I am afraid she will be there screaming and starving til whenever he decides to wake up.

I am actually doing a "trial run" today. I'm at my parents house til about noon, letting him watch baby. I read it's good to try pumping outside the home before returning to work to try to be less anxious and to get a feel for what the day will be like. This is to help prepare me mentally too, but I am literally sick to my stomach right now wondering how baby is doing and if DH got up when she started fussing to eat.

He turned his phone off to charge last night, and he hasn't turned it back on yet and I am seriously ready to call this trial run over because I can't get a hold of him. I HATE this. I need to know my baby is being fed and snuggled!!

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#8 of 10 Old 02-28-2009, 01:04 AM
 
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I'm back to work on Monday. Part time for a month and then full time. At least DH is a SAHD do I don't have to drop O off at daycare.

Michelle: wife to J, mom to M (2001), E (2003), C (2005), S (2007) and O! (2009) And someone new in 2011!
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#9 of 10 Old 03-02-2009, 01:35 PM
 
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Our schedules work so one of us is always home with the kids, except for about 4 hours 2 days a week when they go to my MILs. And although I trust her to care for the children, it still isn't easy to drop them there. Heck, it isn't easy to walk out the door when DH's home and I have to go to work, and that was with just one kid, I can't imagine how leaving them both is going to feel. And I'm going back into a less than great work experience, since people have been laid off, everyone in the corporation (worldwide, from CEO to janitors) has been forced to take a week of unpaid leave in the first quarter to avoid further layoffs, there's someone from another department sitting in my work station while I'm out, and there's a major change being implemented next week, while I'm still out. So I'll miss all the training for the major change, and be 2 weeks or more behind everyone else in adapting to it once I do go back to work. And I remember from last time, when I was out on only 7 weeks leave PP with DD1, how incredibly rusty I was, how hard it was to get back into the daily routine, how exhausted I was the first few weeks and how scheduling pumping time was a burden in the beginning.

I'm so not looking forward to it, but in many ways, at the same time, I'm ready to go back to work. Or I will be more ready mentally and emotionally 3 weeks from now when I have to go back.
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#10 of 10 Old 03-03-2009, 03:12 PM
 
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I start back on Thursday.....I'm looking forward to it to get out of the house, but not looking forward to the potential drama that will be there as well as leaving Avi. Granted, she will be staying with DH, but still. Also, I'll be going back into someone else's position....which will be awkward.

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