In our 40s and due in January - Page 18 - Mothering Forums

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Old 03-18-2009, 06:23 PM
 
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what is that?? juice has gone from sleeping 1 to 1 1/2 hours at a time to 2 to 3 hours a time, which has made a big difference. i'm able to work now and have been back to work full time this week. it's a little hard to reach around him to type and draw. i'm thinking maybe i should replace my chair with a bench that would have room for the both of us? ideas? and putting him down someplace else isn't an idea, it's a totally different parenting style, so ideas where he stays touching me are the kind i could really use if you've got any!


juneau, i'm hooked on fb, too, i hate to admit. pm for user name if you'd like to connect there.

one thing i would appreciate is some freaking casseroles. i wish people would bring me food and lots of it!

o, and my midwife came over yesterday to check on us. juice is five weeks and six days, today. as of yesterday he had gained 3 1/2 pounds and grown 3 inches! all those people who want to tell me how fast he's going to grow and threaten me to enjoy him now can keep their advice. as a mother who has two sons she will never see grow, seeing him get bigger is the farthest thing from sad to me. i am delighted.

mommy to arthur, erik
AND baby juicy!!! born 2-5-09
erika
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Old 03-18-2009, 06:24 PM
 
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sleeping through the night is a sham. it doesn't happen til they are 8-9 years old.
hell, **I** have never slept through the night!!!!! even pre motherhood!

mommy to arthur, erik
AND baby juicy!!! born 2-5-09
erika
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Old 03-19-2009, 11:54 AM - Thread Starter
 
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i'm able to work now and have been back to work full time this week. it's a little hard to reach around him to type and draw. i'm thinking maybe i should replace my chair with a bench that would have room for the both of us? ideas? and putting him down someplace else isn't an idea, it's a totally different parenting style, so ideas where he stays touching me are the kind i could really use if you've got any!
I've spent some time in Guatemala, where babies go on their mother's (or sibling's) backs from a very young age. (Not that I know how to do it, mind you, just that it can be done...). Maybe you could wear Juicy on your back and sit on a stability ball?

[Maybe I should look into that -- NAK now with Fred on a Boppy -- it's a challenge!]
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Old 03-19-2009, 12:42 PM
 
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I was just thinking the same thing. A back carrier and one of those chairs you almost kneel on, they are supposed to be really much better for your back than regular chairs.

Erika, WTG feeding up that juicy little man!

Me , HUGE even though I have only gained 10 lbs at 22 weeks. Cannot fill my lungs.

Interviewing 2 caregivers for the summer today as our long time nanny is leaving us and it doesn't make sense to bring in another new one from overseas since DH and I will be off on parental leave for a year (me 4 months, him 8 months).

Me (42), DH (41), DD (7), DS1 (5) and DS2 Aug 02/09
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Old 03-26-2009, 12:56 PM
 
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Hey mamas, I guess you all have had a busy week!

Getting frustrated with my new babysitter search. I had one that I was going to offer the job too but she called me and said she had found something closer to home so she wouldn't need a bus pass. Oh, and her mom said she should get $7 per hour per child, so $14 an hour.

That seems like a lot for a university student, especially when the kids are in school for 2 of the 4 months she'd be working for us. Am I crazy?

Anyway, back to square one.

Me (42), DH (41), DD (7), DS1 (5) and DS2 Aug 02/09
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Old 03-27-2009, 01:15 AM
 
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Hi Everyone!

M&H are 3 months old as of Monday. Holy crap. They're at such a yummy age 'cause there's lots of smiles going on. Whenever they wake up from sleeping, after a stretch, there's always a big smile and it's just adorable. We go to the doctor tomorrow for the 3 month check up so I'll post the stats over the weekend.

No, they're not sleeping through the night yet but we're going longer stretches which is most important. They generally go down around 1AM and have been sleeping 'til about 6 or sometimes 7 if I'm lucky. I don't really expect them to make it through consistently until they're over 10 pounds. That's what happened with DD. They don't have enough meat on their bones to last that long. Soon, I hope. DD only now sleeps through the night, mostly. She still comes into our bed occasionally but she's a lousy sleeper in general.

Erika, I wouldn't worry about Juicy's weight gain. Run with it. Who cares at this point how much they're gaining? I'm sure obesity is not an issue at 2 months so who cares? Enjoy it and watch those chubby legs grow. They're so cute.

VM, sorry you're having babysitter issues. How old is this girl that her mom is involved in negotiating her rate? We pay our nanny $14 an hour for nights, $12 during the day. My babysitters that I had and used before the twins we paid $15. So yeah, we give our nanny as many hours as she's willing to work and we're all looking forward to moving to the full time day shift. One of my sitters, when she'd sit for multiple kids would charge us $5 per hour per kid. So if she had 3 kids, she'd get $15. If she had 5 (with some older siblings) she's get $25 an hour. It worked out great for her and since it was split out over a few moms, it never was a huge hit from our end. And remember, I live in Los Angeles where everything is more expensive.

I'll update after we go to the doctor tomorrow. Hope everyone is doing well.
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Old 03-27-2009, 10:30 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Veganmama, sorry to hear about your babysitter troubles. We pay $8 an hour here for one child in a small college town, which is above the going rate of $7 an hour but no one complains and we get good help. $15 sounds a bit excessive, and I wouldn't consider paying double my $8 for two kids. I'd go up to $10 or $11 maybe, but haven't had anyone watch the baby yet, so I haven't tried it out. Actually I find that two kids are easier than one in some ways -- at least two who play together, like my older dd and her best friend. Playdates are great for me!

Juls, definitely let us know how the girls are doing. EJ is close to 12 pounds now and still gaining at a rate of about 7 oz a week (I weigh her every week at my breastfeeding support group). We are selectively vaccinating and she had her first ones last week. She ran a bit of a fever, slept long and hard and then fussed, but it was all over in about 12 hours and then she was fine.

Now we both have a cold. Second one for both of us since her birth! Not fair! Poor baby.

Other than that, I am dying to get out and work in the garden but the weather is not cooperating. Also I have decided I'm basically not starting seeds this year, first time in as long as I can remember. I'm a bit sad about that but have to be realistic. I even have a greenhouse but the winter took out some of the panels and I haven't had time to repair them. Maybe I can barter with someone who is starting seeds but doesn't have a greenhouse...

Things are basically going great for us but I just learned of some friends whose newborn baby girl died March 8 just over 24 hours after birth (full term). I cried all night when I first heard. Light a candle for Lila.
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Old 03-29-2009, 10:48 PM
 
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Juneau, I am so sorry about Lila. I am tearing up just thinking about it. Gosh.

Juls, so great to hear an update from you, it sounds like everyone is doing so well!

The babysitter was 19 so yeah, I think $14 an hour is a bit much. My kids are 5 and 6.5, they are at a fairly easy to look after and in school a lot of the hours we;d be paying her. I ahve some other good candidates now.

23w2d. Up 12 lbs.

Me (42), DH (41), DD (7), DS1 (5) and DS2 Aug 02/09
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Old 03-29-2009, 11:47 PM - Thread Starter
 
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$14 an hour to watch kids who aren't even there? Jeesh!

In-laws were here this weekend. Don't get me started. Actually, it was one of the more pleasant visits. But ... well, no, I won't start. Dh and I fight more when his parents are here than almost any other time. Ugh.

I started tomato seeds after all, and a friend came over yesterday and helped with the greenhouse and planting garlic. We got the panels back on (blew off in winter storms) and now I need is a door for the greenhouse (the supports broke, ). But the garlic is in the ground! Only four or five months late but at least it will keep the crop going another year. I love my garlic. Maybe I'll even eat some this year.

Today: cold, wind, rain, and snow. No more gardening.

I feel so lucky to have my baby. I wish I could help my friends but although on the one hand, I know better than most people what they are going through, I also have the one thing they wish they had more than anything else.
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Old 03-30-2009, 01:35 PM
 
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We can't plant up here until late May, by which time I will be 7 months PG. Probably not going to happen! I am jealous!

How crazy am I to be thinking I might actually want another one after this?

I am absolutely not paying a teenager $14 an hour when my kids are not even at home!

Me (42), DH (41), DD (7), DS1 (5) and DS2 Aug 02/09
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Old 04-03-2009, 12:47 AM
 
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I also would not pay any babysitter for time that my kids aren't there. Okay, let yourself in while I'm driving home but seriously, not for extended hours if none of the kids are around. And let me add another disclaimer to my $14-15 per hour sitters. They were in their late 20's when they started with us (at $12 an hour) and now they're all in their 30's. My nanny I pay $14/hour at night and $12 during the day. Also, my $14-15 per hour has covered gas and going places as well, especially when gas prices were $4+. No one but me or DH is driving around the babies. When I've had my friend's teen daughter sit, she gets $8. VM, glad you're finding some worth, more reasonable candidates.

We had our 3 month check up last week. Maya weighed in at 10 pounds even and 23" long. Hayden is 9 pounds 8 ounces and 22" long. They're both on the charts. Woo-Hoo! They're doing well, right where they're supposed to be at 3 months. We're still dealing with some stomach issues with Maya. Certainly a form of colic. She's fairly uncomfortable, tight belly, etc. When we feed her, and she burps, she always spits up. We've discovered gripe water which certainly works better than Mylicon and we're using it sparingly. Both girls seem to be extremely constipated. Well, maybe not since Hayden isn't having tummy issues but they really haven't been pooping regularly. The doctor says it's not unusual to not poop for 7-10 days but it just doesn't compute to me as an adult. DD never had this problem. I realize the one bottle of formula could back them up a little bit but it's only 1 4-6 oz bottle per day. All other feedings are breastmilk which generally goes right through. I don't know. I may call the office again tomorrow just to check and see if there's anything that can help. Since they're both not pooping, I'm less concerned since it must be their twins make up or something that I'm eating, whatever that is. Can chocolate make you constipated? Clearly though M will be the one who's got the sensitive stomach and it'll be an issue for years to come it seems.

They're doing better on sleeping in their crib. We're trying to get into the regular sleep routine. It's the second night I've been able to get them in the crib to sleep at 7:30P. *Hopefully* they'll stay asleep for a few hours and then I can give them their one bottle and they'll sleep longer through the night. They're doing better but it's always a work in progress. We're still working on my almost 6 year old. I might have a bit of a fighting chance of getting into a small routine since DH is out of town (again) until Tuesday and I don't have the nanny at night again until Sunday.

Do we have to start preparing for the January threads closing? I'm hooked in on Facebook with Juneau and Jrabbit. What about you VM and Erika? We really have to keep in touch. Especially with you VM, we all want to know when your now not-so-little bean arrives.
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Old 04-03-2009, 01:02 PM
 
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Juls, it is actually very common for breastfed babies not to poop for a week to 10 days. My aunt says she'd let my nephew go a week and then she'd stick a rectal thermometor in and then he'd poop. She's a nurse. They are not necessarily constipated, unless you see obvious signs of straining etc or discomfort.
Mine both pooped pretty much every time they ate, which is also very commmon with breadtfed babies!

Alas I am not on Facebook currently. Mosty because it is blocked at work and I rarely have time to get online at home. I did create an account once since my sister wanted me to look at my brothers site. But I never got any further than that.

Me (42), DH (41), DD (7), DS1 (5) and DS2 Aug 02/09
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Old 04-07-2009, 12:03 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I can't believe it! I am 99% sure I ovulated today! I had two days of the most beautiful EWCM, followed by three hours of totally sucky abdominal pain today. It's so ironic, because not only do I not want to get pregnant, I also really do not want to get AF!!! I was hoping for a much longer stretch of lactational amenorrhea than three months -- but I can't say I'm surprised, since that's all I had with dd1.

I am somewhat wistful about having another but I really cannot imagine it -- especially two under 1 year, LOL! (My aunt had two babies 8 months apart -- yikes!) (Both premature in case you're having a hard time with the math.)

Juls, can you eliminate Maya's formula? Dairy is such a common allergen, and it leads often to precisely the symptoms you are describing -- colic, constipation, and spitting up. Reflux meds might help, too.
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Old 04-07-2009, 01:42 PM
 
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Juneau, I got AF at 6 weeks PP with DD even though she was exclusively BF until 6 months. She was a small baby and not a fast gainer (she only weighed 17 lbs 4oz at 1 year) and so apparently did not eat enough to supress ovulation.

With DS (much bigger baby, much bigger eater), I ovulated the day after I introuduced cereal LOL and got first PPAF at 6 months PP.

Me (42), DH (41), DD (7), DS1 (5) and DS2 Aug 02/09
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Old 04-08-2009, 09:28 AM - Thread Starter
 
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It's crazy, this time around I am nursing TWO! OK, the four-year-old, not so much, but still! Dd2 has already put on six pounds in less than three months.

I even think I may have double-ovulated this time. Good thing abstinence is such great birth control!
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Old 04-08-2009, 12:35 PM
 
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It's crazy, this time around I am nursing TWO! OK, the four-year-old, not so much, but still! Dd2 has already put on six pounds in less than three months.

I even think I may have double-ovulated this time. Good thing abstinence is such great birth control!
LOL! My poor Dh is not getting very much either. His own fault really for coming to bed after 9:30 pm and I am zonked right out beside DS.

Double ovulation is pretty common at our age I think. Your baody clearly wants you to ahve as many more chances at Pg as possible,

Me (42), DH (41), DD (7), DS1 (5) and DS2 Aug 02/09
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Old 04-09-2009, 09:50 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I think there is some component of post-traumatic stress for me regarding my fertility. Because even as I am literally holding the baby I longed for for years, I still see that beautiful EWCM and think for at least a minute, "Oh, can't let this opportunity go by! What if I don't get pregnant this month?!" It's going to be hard to get over that.
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Old 04-09-2009, 10:21 PM
 
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LOL, Juneau, I am still PG and I think I will have that reaction too! After TTC for so long, it will be hard to let any opportunity go by.

DS wants to type something:

yo7uq bautfchv

Me (42), DH (41), DD (7), DS1 (5) and DS2 Aug 02/09
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Old 04-11-2009, 01:54 PM - Thread Starter
 
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First PPAF is here, and it's ugly. That means my LP was all of, let's see, five days long?! Sigh. For all that my body wants me to have as many babies as possible it's sure not giving those eggies much time to implant. NOT THAT I WANT THEM TO, mind you, but I wish my body would behave a little more predictably. I was wearing brand new panties.

I just realized that my last AF was almost exactly a year ago (April 8)...
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Old 04-11-2009, 07:00 PM
 
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Oh that sucks about the brand new panties! Sorry Juneau, I guess you are just one of the "lucky" ones that gets PPAF fairly early.

Me (42), DH (41), DD (7), DS1 (5) and DS2 Aug 02/09
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Old 04-15-2009, 06:19 PM
 
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Finally here and checking in... Got caught up on what was happening with all of YOU. Yay! Lots of healthy babies!!!

My son was born on 2-2 exactly as planned. I have his birth story so will post another time. We named him Alex.

Dealing with some ppd and some changes at home - my husband was terminated from his job shortly after Alex was born. We're barely surriving it to be honest. Financially, we are okay for a while but the wrangling of me going back to work and him staying him unwillingly are hell right now.

I will check back soon. Thanks.
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Old 04-16-2009, 06:42 PM
 
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Congrats on your sweet baby Alex!

I am sorry about the work situation though. My DH will be staying home with DS from 4 months old to a year as I go back to work at 4 months PP. Somewhat unwillingly on both our parts but it is what works for my job and he has better parental leave benefits than I do. Not just $ wise but job security wise too.

Me (42), DH (41), DD (7), DS1 (5) and DS2 Aug 02/09
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Old 04-16-2009, 11:51 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Oh MNSunshine, it sounds like you've had a rough go of it. What horrible, rotten timing. I'm so glad your son was born healthy, though, and I love the name! I'm glad you checked in, and if you're on Facebook, pm me with your name if you want to be my Facebook friend.

My dh is out of town for four days now, which has brought its own kind of hell. (Worst before he left, actually, when we were trying to juggle doing way too many things in far too little time). I was looking forward to him leaving by the time he actually got away.

Things haven't been too bad except for my four-year-old. Disobedient mendacious child. Sigh. It's an age thing, I guess. Thank goodness for preschool, and for friends who cook dinner.

Must put down sleeping baby and go start diaper laundry before I take myself to bed too. Dh home tomorrow night but too late for bedtime, unfortunately.
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Old 04-19-2009, 03:38 PM
 
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Hey Juneau, my DH will be away for 4 days in a couple of weeks too. I always dread it but in fact, I find it usually goes pretty well. The kids are kind of sweet when he is away, not testing the limits as much. I guess they feel sorry for me!

I don't have an infant (yet) though so I might be biting my tongue the first time he goes away after the baby!

I am going away for 4 days in May on some training for work. I have never spent more than 1 might away from the kids before. MIL will no doubt be over ever night helping DH though. Amazing how i am not presumed to need help when alone with the kidlets.

My DD is quite a handful when she wants to be. Disobedient and quarrelsome, for sure. Sweet as sugar in front of anyone else though!

DS looks like more of a handful on the surface. A rough and tumble little man. Lots of energy. Doesn't have the will of steel that his sister has though!

Me (42), DH (41), DD (7), DS1 (5) and DS2 Aug 02/09
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Old 04-20-2009, 04:09 AM
 
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MNSunshine, congrats on Alex. Love the name and glad to hear he's a happy, healthy boy. Sorry about DH's work situation. The timing had to completely suck. I hope things get straightened out on the work front soon.

No AF for me, thankfully. I'm hoping that lasts for awhile too. When I was nursing, DD, I didn't get my . until I stopped BFing all together which was after 15 months. I'm definitely not interested in getting pregnant again. I mean, I loved being pregnant both times, but age, finances, sanity, there's no way. We're just trying to survive two at a time at this point. The girls are doing really well. They'll be 4 MONTHS on Wednesday, can you believe that? They're in that very yummy stage of big smiles. Maya is such a chatterbox and laughs when you tickle her. Hayden is a big smiler too, loves her toes and is starting to roll over. DD#1 just turned 6 this past week and it's been a rough month for her. She's one of those kids who get whiney and cranky the few weeks before the "big change" of age so it's been a little nutty. That and the meltdowns are totally coming from "I'm not getting enough attention" since the babies were born. She loves her sisters tremendously and doesn't really equate the babies taking attention away from her so it comes out in weird ways.

My biggest thing right now is BFing and my right breast getting backed up. This happened quite a few times with DD and it's just painful. My right side is not a big producer of milk so I guess there's not much room when things get clogged. Anyway, I was all hard and backed up on Wednesday, my breast was painful to the touch. I know I was a little overdue to nurse or pump but still. I pumped and pumped and pumped and got barely an ounce over several hours. I know that a baby sucking does the trick but I had to keep trying. Finally, Maya had the magic suck and I was good. Then yesterday, same thing and I was on a total normal nursing schedule, no long stretches. Not quite as painful to the touch but still feeling the lumps on my right side. I've been doing heat, pumping and letting the girls suck 'til their hearts content but they haven't quite unplugged me yet. Hopefully one more day and it'll clear up. It's really annoying, and painful.

Oh, I'm sorry for all of you when your DH's go out of town. As you know, my DH has gone out of town 3 times since the girls were born. It sucks big time. But hopefully, since our babes are all a little older, it won't be so horrible. It's hard when you're all alone with a screaming baby (or two) and another older one. Feel free to bitch here. I'm here for you. VM, LMAO that everyone comes out of the woodwork to help when DH is alone. Hello?? I'm here too and all by myself. When I worked a month or so ago and DH was in charge, my parents kept saying they were available to help and we hired our babysitter to help during the day with DD#1. And my DH is very capable. Yeah, where was everyone when I was alone with 3 week olds for a week? <sigh>
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Old 04-20-2009, 10:50 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Veganmama, yes, it's too funny that our dh's are coddled when it comes to taking care of the kids by themselves. It's never happened here. Every time I've left dd1 alone she's been with my parents or his parents too.

Juls, my lactation consultant friend says the best thing for plugged ducts is a 24-hour nursing "vacation." Cancel everything else and snuggle with the nurslings in bed for 24 hours. It's your body's way of saying "slow down." I don't know if you can do that with what you've got going on, but it has worked for me.

It was actually nice having my dh away, except for two incidents with dd1. Dd2 was easy and slept eight hours two nights in a row, only going four hours (times two) the next night but she was getting a cold so no wonder. She's such an easy baby I'm afraid I'm going to forget about her one of these days. Not really, but I have to work at my end of the attachment parenting paradigm, or she'd be sleeping in a crib or a stroller all the time. Dd1 wouldn't have stood for any of that.

Veganmama, where are we going to go when this forum closes? Lead us on and we will follow you.
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Old 04-20-2009, 04:58 PM
 
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Hey Juls, thanks for the update on the girls! I would have to pump milk in your situation. I get plugged ducts A LOT. However, I have never had it turn into mastitis thankfully. Do you have a pump? Other than that, just what youa re doing: encouraging your nurslings to nurse, massage, heat. If you can take a nursing vacation that would be ideal.

I thought you guys were going over to Facebook when this forum closes (whiich I cannot access at work but can at home, not that I know how!). Alternatively we could set up a thread in my DDC (July 2009) for now, OR we could head over to Ages and Stages and start a new group there. That is what most of the DDCs do I think. We could do the same thing.

Me (42), DH (41), DD (7), DS1 (5) and DS2 Aug 02/09
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Old 04-21-2009, 04:02 AM
 
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Well, you can tell I just go where I'm comfortable around here. I didn't even know of the ages & stages group. LOL. We'll be happy to follow you where VM but I hope we can just keep it going. We've all been through everything together and it would be so sad to lose that. I know some of us are on FB and connected which is great but it's a different kind of conversation. Hey, we could always create our own little yahoo group or something like that.

Thanks for the nursing advice. Today, my boob finally feels mostly normal, as opposed to lumpy bumpy. I've been pumping but sometime in the last 24 hours, they managed to unplug most of it. Mine hasn't hit mastitis yet either, thankfully, but oh it's painful. Hard as a rock which makes it more painful to massage. I hadn't thought of a nursing vacation. Seems like that would make it worse by backing things up even more. Doesn't the blockage need to get up and out of there? What I've been trying to do is nurse on my left side so it takes the edge off the hunger part, then let them suck endlessly on the right. Even if I'm a human pacifier, they've got to be getting a little something. I'm still shocked at how lopsided my production is. My left side I can pump 4-6 ounces. On my right if I get 2 it's a big pump. That's all fine when you're feeding one and switching sides. When there's two, that means one is only possibly getting 2-3 at a feeding instead of double on the other side.

I realized that on April 19 last year, DH and his swimmers did their thing and I had the embryos transferred on April 24. It's been exactly a year since the Boo-Boo's were conceived. I know you girls are pretty much the same, give or take a few weeks. Our lives have certainly changed and all for the better. For all the tears and emotion, the end result has been worth every ounce of it. VM, you're included in this even if you're a few more weeks behind us.

Juneau, so glad to hear that your LO is so happy and content and such a great sleeper. Hey, if Eliza's sleeping in the car seat or the stroller, I wouldn't move her either. When my girls fall asleep in their carseats while I'm taking DD to school, I just leave them and enjoy the quiet. They'll have plenty of time in their cribs.
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Old 04-21-2009, 10:14 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Juls, just a quick note. Not a vacation FROM nursing, but a vacation where you do nothing BUT nurse and snuggle. Naked. With babies. Dh can bring you breakfast in bed.
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Old 04-21-2009, 10:38 AM - Thread Starter
 
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And yes, Facebook is nice -- more pictures, for one -- but it's definitely different. More about chickens (LOL Janis) and less about the TMI things we tend to talk about here from time to time. I wonder if we could make a private group on FB?

I think dh and I dtd on April 21st last year, and then I got on a plane to Calif. and I O'd there on the 23rd -- when my FET was canceled.* Weird, huh? Where was Eliza Jane conceived? Dh wasn't even with me in CA!

I am so much happier now than I have been in a long while. Nice!!! :

* the fertility specialist's words to me: "Your estrogen level is too low and your lining too thin to support a full-term pregnancy." He couldn't have been more wrong, thank all deities!
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