Homebirthing in January - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 69 Old 06-06-2008, 05:38 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I don't see a homebirthing thread for our ddc - so I though I would start one!

Just a place where we can talk about ourselves, our midwives, reactions from others, back up plans etc!

I'll introduce myself in another post!
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#2 of 69 Old 06-06-2008, 05:44 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi! I am Traci. Mom to two boys. DS#1 was born with medwives in a hospital. DS#2 was born very peacefully at home attended by a midwife. It was an incredible, life changing experience. Only DH, (DS#1 slept through the whole thing) and midwife were present....so beautiful.

We plan to have HB with midwife for this birth...but will prepare to UC since we don't know about the weather (virginia weather is unpredictable that time of year...could be 25 degrees with ice or could be 75 degrees with sun!)

My births are fairly straightforward so far...water breaks, baby comes about 5-6 hrs later. about 15-30 minutes of pushing. The midwife lives about an hour away...so there is a chance she won't make it here in time!

Traci
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#3 of 69 Old 06-06-2008, 05:50 PM
 
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I'm planning a homebirth with this baby. My DS was born at home with a fantastic midwife. I couldn't imagine doing it any other way! The only problem is that we are hoping to move across the state to be closer to family in the next few months, so I probably won't get to use my midwife for the birth again . I will probably start care with her, though, just so I can go visit a few times before we have to move. I have already found the midwife I want to use if we do move before the birth, though, so I feel good about that. Anyway, just wanted to chime in and show my for homebirth!

Sarah , wife to Tyson :, SAHM to Landon (5), Coleson (3), and new baby boy due any day!

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#4 of 69 Old 06-06-2008, 05:53 PM
 
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Hello all! I'm tonia, single mum to 4 boys ages 7,5,3 and 1. Am planning an UC this tiem around. last one was supposed to be an UC but mentally I was not really prepared since DH had just left us so recently..... So, am spending this pregnancy focusing on peace and strength within myself and through this beautiful blessing.....
My fiance and I are currently on hiatus as some abuse issues have come to head and he needs to deal with those before I can allow him back into my life and my home so am HOPING he can be a part of the entire process, but I may be looking at a solo birth. Though that may sound crazy to some, THAT option brings me FAR more peace than the potential of another hospital birth. My last labor I went all the way to 9 cm. before I stepped foot in the hospital. Hospitals are too foriegn and overwhelming to me.....it takes away my power over myself, ya know?
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#5 of 69 Old 06-06-2008, 06:25 PM
 
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hi

I'm Bloomingstar, pregnant with my first. I'm 27 (will be 28 when baby arrives) and married for 2 years, together for 5, to my DH. I'm also a doula in training and have attended one birth so far, and it was a homebirth and the most amazing thing! I have an older sister who has 2 children--7 and 19 mos. and is also pregnant with her 3rd and due the day after me She'a had two hospital births and as much as she has felt ok with them, I definitely know that I want something different for myself. My midwife, who I is great and lives less than a 10 minute drive from me, maybe 20 to 25 minutes if for some reason there is crazy snow in Brooklyn, which isn't likely. I'm definitely going to have a doula, but will wait awhile to find one. I've been peeking at the homebirth board today, especially at the sticky for the things you might want/need beyond basic supplies for a homebirth. It's long--9 or 10 pages--so I haven't gotten through it all yet. I'm still just waiting for my 2nd appointment with my midwife so I can hear the heartbeat! Thursday can't come quickly enough for me

Bloomingstar Mommy to DS born 1.16.09 :
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#6 of 69 Old 06-06-2008, 07:16 PM
 
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hi,

we're doing a home birth (w/tub option for laboring &/or birth) with a midwife we just decided on. maybe 'cuz of the crossover w/yoga folks, i somehow ended up w/exposure to alternative options for childbirthing than the medical model. so i know this is what i want.

we're also doing "the birth journey" a home childbirth prep class for couples (starts in oct.) w/a doula (who comes highly recommended). she delves into the process wholistically.

this is DH and my first child. we met in feb., got engaged in april, married in june. it has been a wonderful transitional time.

the midwife we chose is out of town til 6/20 so for now we're waiting for the 1st appointment.

DD 12/08
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#7 of 69 Old 06-06-2008, 08:10 PM
 
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I am having a homebirth with this belly bean! I had a HB with DD and it was an absolutely amazing experience. I am going with the same midwives as before and am just trying to decide whether or not I want to rent a birth tub this time around.

11/06 and 1/09 :
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#8 of 69 Old 06-06-2008, 08:37 PM
 
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I really, really, really want a HB. How did you convince your partners/family that it is safe? Or did you just put your foot down?

wife to DH 2/03, mama to DS 3/03 & DD 1/09
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#9 of 69 Old 06-06-2008, 08:39 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Jojo F. View Post
I really, really, really want a HB. How did you convince your partners/family that it is safe? Or did you just put your foot down?
I'm using the foot.

DD was born at a birth center. It was like a home birth away from home. So, I figure we'll do it *at* home this time around.
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#10 of 69 Old 06-06-2008, 09:03 PM
 
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I took my doula training last summer and just started rambling about midwives and birth months ago. I also made DH watch The Business of Being Born and that added to my rambling brought him over. He's also not big on doctors and medicalized things. We both tend to go for more holistic things, organic foods, etc., so he wasn't hard to convince.

Bloomingstar Mommy to DS born 1.16.09 :
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#11 of 69 Old 06-06-2008, 09:23 PM
 
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I convinced my dh of a homebirth this time around because I told him I wouldn't ttc #2 until we could work things out (aka if he wouldn't agree to HB, I wouldn't agree to another baby).

I am planning on having a homebirth, my dd was a induced hospital birth due to severe Pre-E at only 37 weeks. I am planning on making things much, much different this time around.

I met with two midwives that work as partners the other night and I'm pretty sold, but we have one more to interview before I make my final decision.
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#12 of 69 Old 06-06-2008, 09:31 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Jojo F. View Post
I really, really, really want a HB. How did you convince your partners/family that it is safe? Or did you just put your foot down?
I'm lucky- my husband was born at home (so my MIL supports hb!) and my mother (who did natural hospital births) would never dream of telling me what to do at my birth.

The best thing to do is probably worry most about your partner, first of all. And meet with a midwife who can directly address the concerns your partner may have.
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#13 of 69 Old 06-06-2008, 09:42 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Mom2Adam View Post
Hi! I am Traci. Mom to two boys. DS#1 was born with medwives in a hospital. DS#2 was born very peacefully at home attended by a midwife. It was an incredible, life changing experience. Only DH, (DS#1 slept through the whole thing) and midwife were present....so beautiful.

We plan to have HB with midwife for this birth...but will prepare to UC since we don't know about the weather (virginia weather is unpredictable that time of year...could be 25 degrees with ice or could be 75 degrees with sun!)

My births are fairly straightforward so far...water breaks, baby comes about 5-6 hrs later. about 15-30 minutes of pushing. The midwife lives about an hour away...so there is a chance she won't make it here in time!

Traci
Oooh a VA homebirthing mom in my DDC! How cool! where in VA are you?

Momma to DS1 4/5/06 nursed with IGT to self-weaning at 27 months, DS2 1/20/09 still nursing, DS3 due late November - planning to tandem with IGT and SNS
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#14 of 69 Old 06-06-2008, 09:47 PM
 
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I'm planning a UC again, hoping it actually happens this time around. lol DS was "induced" (although my water broke on its own that morning) for pre-e at 35 weeks. My MIL is amazingly supportive and plans to be here to watch DS for me. My mother...well, I'm avoiding the talk. lol I'll have to do it at some point, but I'm nowhere near emotionally ready for that. She wasn't supposed to be at DS' birth; we told every single nurse to let her in under no condition. They did anyway and the first words out of her mouth were "Oh, so I see you still think you're going to go natural?" with a sarcastic chuckle. Although the plus side was she was there to see that I DID do it, despite her attitude. But MIL said just to tell her sorry, she got to be there last time, MIL gets this one. lol

Momma to DS1 4/5/06 nursed with IGT to self-weaning at 27 months, DS2 1/20/09 still nursing, DS3 due late November - planning to tandem with IGT and SNS
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#15 of 69 Old 06-07-2008, 12:27 AM
 
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I'm Laurel, 22, planning a homebirth with a midwife for our baby, who will be kidling #1. I've already picked out a midwife, who will provide a tub for labor and birth if I so choose.

The MW will bring a back-up and her assistant; she said they're all willing to be as hands-on or hands-off as I choose. I keep going back and forth about whether I want DH to attend or not. I think a lot of it depends on the tenor of the birth. I'm hoping for a very calm, peaceful birth - I want to do the hypnobabies course. If everything is peaceful, I want DH there... but if I'm stressed, I don't. Kinda backwards from what you'd think, but I never claimed to make much sense!
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#16 of 69 Old 06-07-2008, 02:46 AM
 
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I really, really, really want a HB. How did you convince your partners/family that it is safe? Or did you just put your foot down?
Most of my family/IL's were on board with my decision (and those who weren't could just bite me). My DH was easy to convince. After he met the midwives and we discussed everything he knew it would be at least as safe as a hospital birth (I think safer!). Plus, as he put it when I was pregnant with DD, you are the one giving birth, I don't think I really have much say in it. I love my DH.

11/06 and 1/09 :
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#17 of 69 Old 06-07-2008, 03:09 AM
 
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Hi, I'm Tara, 29 and planning a MW-assisted homebirth. This will be our 2nd - our first was born at home, which overall was a great experience, although we will be making some changes this time. A different MW, for one, as my MW last time was NOT ok when I went past my due dates and she suddenly became rather med-wife-like. I'm comfortable with going overdue, as everyone in my family always did with no problems and I'm apparently following that trend, so I want a MW who is comfortable with that too. I interview the MW I think I will be going with (she's assisting a close friend in a couple of months) next week and I'm very excited about it!

I love home birth and I love the birthing tub! I can't imagine riding in a car while in labor, so I love staying in the comfort of my own home. I tell everyone that if I could only keep one comfort measure from my first birth, the tub would be it!

For people who are wanting a HB and trying to convince partners, it's important to remember that you are the one who has to give birth, and while of course they are concerned about the baby, the best thing for the baby is the birth environment that you feel best about. Plus, there are numerous studies that suggest that HB is as safe or safer than hospital birth. Also, the countries with the best birth outcomes (the US is unfortunately NOT one of them) use midwives and home births much more extensively than we do here for low-risk births. I've been very fortunate that DH has always been on my wavelength and trusts my (somewhat anal-rententive) research tendencies, so he tends to assume that when I come to a decision I have good reason for doing so. If push came to shove, though, I'm the type who would probably have uninvited DH himself to the birth if he hadn't been supportive. Taking him along to meet the midwife was the thing that really got him completely on board (he thinks HB is by far the best way to go now!) That, along with showing your DP research, should probably help for anyone trying to convince partners.

As for other family members, while it's nice to have some who are supportive, IMO this is just one of the parenting decisions in which it's really not their place to have any say one way or the other. It's your baby and your responsibility - their job is to respect your decisions. We told family members who we thought would be supportive (my Dad's reaction: "That's great, your Mom always wanted to do that and couldn't find a HB MW back then!") and with family members who we thought would not, we didn't talk about it unless they brought it up. I was willing to answer respectful questions/concerns for one conversation, as many of them were indeed curious, but for those who continued to bring it up or wanted to argue, I made it very clear that I was making the choice that I believed was safest for me and my baby and the matter was not up for further discussion. Overall, we were pleasantly surprised at how many people were very, very supportive.

Wow, this turned out to be a book! Well, I'm very passionate about homebirth and feel very strongly that every woman should have the opportunity to birth in the way that she feels best about (and hope that they seek out what they need to make a truly informed decision). For anyone who is thinking about it but unsure, I would highly encourage you to go for it! I know plenty of women who have birthed in the hospital and then decided to do home birth for subsequent babies, but not a single one (IRL) who has decided to go to the hospital for the next baby after a home birth - and I think that speaks volumes!

T , mom to S and C
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#18 of 69 Old 06-07-2008, 11:47 AM
 
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Hi! I'm Rachel, 25 (in a week), married for 1 year & together for almost 6 with DH. We're planning a homebirth (and maybe a waterbirth) with a midwife for our first babe. Although DH was skeptical at first, since he has high regard for doctors and the status quo, my months of research and tossing websites and books at him got him on board! Now he's even defending it to his doc-worshipping parents! (They actually are being remarkably hands-off and non-judgmental. I think it's because they assume - rightly - that my mom and DH's mom are supportive of our plans, so they can't be the least-favorite grandparents by being critical! Woo!)

I have a great MW right now, but she's not conveniently located so I'm hoping to interview another one - I'm waiting on the second to let me know if she's okay with the distance in case we moved before we interview her. We live in Manhattan but are planning on moving up to Westchester. My current midwife is in Brooklyn and not too thrilled about the distance either, but she seems willing to do it. *sigh* If anyone knows a good HB MW in Westchester, please let me know!

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#19 of 69 Old 06-07-2008, 11:57 AM
 
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Maybe if you post the Homebirth midwife request in the Finding your Tribe subforum, someone might be able to suggest something...

I'm jealous of everyone having homebirths. Unfortunately with my medical history of chronic hypertension, no midwife here in FL will touch me, and I feel more comfortable being monitored because, frankly, I don't want to have a stroke. Luckily I was able to do a natural birth the last time in the hospital, so I know I can do it again!
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#20 of 69 Old 06-07-2008, 12:34 PM
 
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We're planning a homebirth this time around and I can't wait. My other two were midwife assisted in a hospital and it would take a LOT to get me to back!

I'm also hoping to waterbirth this one...I wondre how close to the woodstove the tub can be without melting?
Wondering how things will go in January - I'm in Vermont and we'll likely be under many feet of snow. My midwife is about 45 mintes away in good weather, so...hopefully she'll make it on time.

I myself was a january baby born during the biggest storm of 1979.

Molly, mama to my 3 sweet boys.
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#21 of 69 Old 06-07-2008, 02:32 PM
 
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I'm currently fighting with my insurance company to get them to cover a homebirth. We'll see how that goes. If they won't, we can't afford it (hb around here with a CNM will run you around 5K, and I'm unwilling to use a CPM without hospital privileges, reason to follow), so we'd have to use a local birth center.

My last birth was a planned homebirth that turned into an emergency transfer. All worked out in the end, because we just happened to go to a very midwife-friendly hospital and the midwife on duty let my midwife practice even though she didn't have privileges at that hospital. If she hadn't been there, I would certainly have ended up with a c-section. Still, we had to deal with a lot of hospital b.s. like them wanting to take the baby to the nursery every fifteen minutes.

So I'd prefer a homebirth this time if possible, but in order to feel safe I have to know my midwives can stay with me in a transfer if need be.

Ironically all the hb midwives around here are at least a 45 minute drive, while the birth center is 15-20 minutes. At least in a homebirth, you're not the one driving...
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#22 of 69 Old 06-07-2008, 04:40 PM - Thread Starter
 
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hippiemum21580 - I totally don't think it is weird to have a uc all by yourself (assuming your other kiddo's have some sort of support!) - I think about all the women all over the world that give birth alone...and then do things like go back to work! AI, AI, AI!

If my midwife doesn't make it...DH will probably hang out with the younguns while I birth...I am in a good place birthing "alone"....

moonprysm - I am about an hour east of Richmond, VA - but everything I do, see, meet etc is in Richmond! including my midwife!

JojoF - I second the recommendation of The Business of Being Born...EYEOPENING! Once you find a midwife you Love - take your partner...after that....nobody needs to know! I kept it quiet until around 8 mos or so into the pregnancy...then I called my parents (over the phone) and started in with a script about how well respected my midwife was, how long she had been practicing, my general good health and good birthing experiences....and then I said we were having a homebirth. Went over surprising well. Inlaws were easy because SIL had already had 2! She paved the way!

lerrypolyp - our insurance this time around won't cover...haven't had the conversation yet with midwife...but I know she will accept a "lowered" rate...and payments....eventually we will get it paid. Thankfully we put our stimulus check away...so I will probably just hand that over.
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#23 of 69 Old 06-07-2008, 05:15 PM
 
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I wanted HB but DH said no, our happy medium is a birthing center outside of a hospital but quite close in proximity.

www.birthcentersa.com I love my midwife,Alisa, she was my BFF and Doula Raenas. So I will have DH my mom sister Niece Doula and Midwife...room ful of people I love. No MIL or BIL, the were at the hospital when DS was born...annoying. We dont get along so well.

With DS I was induced had an Epi, the only thing I didnt have was an episiotomy. I am so excited to do this naturaly!
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#24 of 69 Old 06-07-2008, 06:39 PM
 
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I'm planning a VBA2C at home with a midwife. The first two births were supposed to be at home too. I was under the care of M.D.s though who specialize in homebirth. I know the first time around they pushed the interventions too fast. I suspect the second time might have had a different outcome with a good midwife too. So we had the homebirth part right, but the wrong attendants!

I hope and pray for a successful homebirth this time!

Our back-up plan is to co-care with midwifes who attend births at the hospital. My homebirth midwife insists upon this because of my past history. She believes it might be possible that I actually had true CPD--there's no way of knowing at this point.

Mom to 5 amazing kids! (DS8, DS7, DD4, DD2 and DS0)

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#25 of 69 Old 06-08-2008, 01:40 AM
 
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Hi, I 'm Monica, pregnant with my 2nd. I have been planning on a homebirth for months before we even TTC. I am still hoping for that but so far this pregnancy has been a bit more complicated, lots of bleeding, and a just diagnosed placenta previa, that I am praying moves so I can have my homebirth. So for now I am under an OB's care but can't wait for the day I can transfer!
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#26 of 69 Old 06-08-2008, 09:36 AM
 
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As far as convincing my partner....well, he is 19 and this is his first child and I am 28 with four other births under my belt (and a book I wrote with two chapters dediatd solely to unassisted pregnany and homebirth that I am in teh process of getting published.) So, I am pretty much free to do things how I want and he is just along for the ride.
I am hoping he can be there. During most of labor I really like being alone. bUt when transition hits I usually need encouragment and physical contact.
Tara, your post hit the nail right on the head! Well put!
Ruth, I think it is TOTALLY feasible to have a birth as close as possible to your ideal in the hospital. Hope you find a midwife or dr. who will work with you again!
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#27 of 69 Old 06-09-2008, 03:06 AM
 
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I'm planning a UBAC as of right now. I'm not entirely on board with it myself, but I feel it may be what I need to give birth vaginally. And really hoping that the transverse thing only happens once >_< (tried spinning babies stuff, too--she just insisted that she didn't want to face my back) Getting my tailbone messed up for a whole year really sucked. So I'm really hoping that positions are all right this time and maybe a shorter labor But if it's not shorter, I'll be home where no one is pressuring me because of it and if I have gaps between contractions, I'll get to sleep!

My only other real option (there's one I can't discuss, due to MO laws, but the cost is too great, in more than monetary ways) is that we have what's supposed to be a really great VBAC OB (there are midwives who do it, but I've been warned they're as awful as most OBs--and they work under him, so may as well skip their lies and stress), who only does the VBACs at a really crappy hospital. *sigh*

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#28 of 69 Old 06-09-2008, 05:33 PM
 
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Hey ya'll. I am pregnant with my sixth baby and this will be our fourth homebirth! I had c-sections with my first two children and then decided to go for a homebirth. I just love, love homebirthing : ) It's so fun and relaxing compared to being in the hospital. We have a great midwife who has attended my last three births (well, she missed the last one and my husband and I caught that little one). I am really enjoying my pregnancy and it's just so nice.
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#29 of 69 Old 06-09-2008, 06:06 PM
 
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Hi! I'm glad to see all the homebirthing mamas here. My name is Elizabeth and I will have my first homebirth to baby #2 in Jan.

DS #1 was born at a freestanding birth center by CNMs, and we had a wonderful experience. I would have been happy to go there again, but they closed due to financial reasons.

SO. . .I am keeping my options open for now. I am hiring a CNM who does homebirths and that would be my preference if the birth center remains closed. however, I did check in with my MWs from the birth center who are now practicing under the auspices of a local health clinic while they try to re-open. To be honest, I would prefer the homebirth BUT. . .and here it comes. . .

Our insurance covered the birth center just as they would a hospital birth, so we paid really very little. But the CNM at home will be out-of-pocket, with only the slimmest chance of reimbursement. I'm sorry to sound so shallow but if the birth center re-opens by my week 20 or so, I will probably commit to the birth center just to get BCBS to cover me.

DH is very supportive--we had such a great exp. w/natural birth the first time he is all about it. When I told him we would probably have this one at home, he didn't even blink. Just "whatever you want sounds great" and also that we could work out the MW payment if we needed to by pinching pennies and budgeting carefully. So. . .I can't complain there.

We took Bradley with #1 and it helped, but I think this time I want to do Hypnobirthing? I keep meaning to go check out some threads on that.

Things I'm looking forward to about homebirth.
1. My homebirth midwife does not "require" induction. . .not at 42 weeks, not at 43, not at 44. . . so I will get to let my body cook this baby as long as I want (I missed a scheduled induction by the skin of my teeth with #1 because the birth center can't go past 42 weeks due to the policy of their backup OB)
2. Not driving to the birth center when I'm in transition
3. Not driving to the birth center in Kansas City's January weather.


Things I'm apprehensive about homebirth:
1. Getting birth fluids all over our new house, having gallons of water in a birthing tub on my hardwood floors
2. Having to research and get supplies. . .I will have to be more proactive than dropping into a birthing facility
3. Avoiding the subject with my in-laws (I plan on just not discussing my choices with anyone who is unsupportive. . .I will let them assume we are having the baby at the same place as last time, but they may figure out that birth center closed, in which case I will just say I "found another Midwife" and only if and when they ask WHERE we'll be delivering will I admit it's a homebirth--I'm hoping it'll be week 39 by then)
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Originally Posted by xakana View Post
My only other real option (there's one I can't discuss, due to MO laws, but the cost is too great, in more than monetary ways) is that we have what's supposed to be a really great VBAC OB (there are midwives who do it, but I've been warned they're as awful as most OBs--and they work under him, so may as well skip their lies and stress), who only does the VBACs at a really crappy hospital. *sigh*
Hey, Xakana, I just wanted to say that I hate that your options are so limited by stupid laws. . .I supported the MO lift on the CPM ban, but we all know how that turned out I think it is preposterous that I live less than 2 miles from the MO state line and I have access to care that is illegal to my friends less than 2 miles away--

It's just mind-boggling. Anyway, I know several people around here in MO who have UC'd with much success. It's all easy for women to say "I would never do that!" nice and safe with their legal options available to them because of stupid geographic luck. I don't have experience with VBAC or UC but I know that I do support your decision to do what you need to do to protect your baby and your body.
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