ARGH (mom loves me) [blog re: mom stressing about our decision to do a homebirth] - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 8 Old 07-26-2008, 02:51 AM - Thread Starter
 
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all right - i'm laughing @ myself but this is what i just blogged in a private blog - am sharing it w/y'all:

ARGH! i am such a child - so F*CKING triggered & annoyed & frustrated by my mom's unwelcome f*cking way of loving me by stressing about the homebirth decision and doing a ton of research about hospitals, midwives, homebirth & emailing 'em to me as if i can't f*cking make my own decisions about my body, my child, my family!!!!!!!!!! as if i would make some "emotional" decision and threaten my life and the life of the child!!!

ARGH!

just sent this email to her to DH instead

i am a f*cking adult and this is MY BODY MY BABY MY FAMILY and i'm making the decisions.

stop treating me like a fucking child.

you always stress and research everything as if i can't figure it out on my own.

i hate you!!!!!


--------------------------

this is the gift of having a mother still alive to share the experience w/and who loves me.

-------------------------

gratitude

-------------------------

okay, INCLUDING this, it has been a truly wonderful and perfect day.

DD 12/08
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#2 of 8 Old 07-26-2008, 12:39 PM
 
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Moms can be so much FUN, huh? (rolleyes)

I am PROUD OF YOU for sending it to your DH instead of to your mom.

I might reply something like "I've done months of research on this, and we're happy with our choices. I know you're concerned because you klove me and wouldn't want anything bad to happen to me or the baby, but really, we're set onthis decision. Thanks for your concern."

And maybe give her something else you want her "help" researching, like a crockpot.
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#3 of 8 Old 07-26-2008, 03:05 PM - Thread Starter
 
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update: everything is good.

yes - i sent her a much kinder, informative email & gave her the midwife's bio + backup dr. info.

she is feeling better now. i think once she meets the midwife she will relax.

this is new stuff so she's understandably nervous.

DD 12/08
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#4 of 8 Old 07-26-2008, 08:49 PM
 
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For what it is worth, I think including her is better than shutting her out. Especially if you are close and she lives near you. Having her on YOUR SIDE is going to really help once baby is here. My mom was really apprehensive about some of our choices, but we gently won her over just by setting a positive example.

Mama to 4 darlings. A ('03), O and K ('06), A ('09), and wife to M since 2002.
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#5 of 8 Old 07-26-2008, 09:31 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by _betsy_ View Post
And maybe give her something else you want her "help" researching, like a crockpot.
LMFAO!!!!!!!
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#6 of 8 Old 07-26-2008, 09:38 PM
 
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At least you are able to talk to your mother. I haven't even been able to confirm my pregnancy from the IUI yet, but my mother won't even talk to me about my decision to become a single mom. I bring it up, she changes the subject. I have things I would love to be able to talk to my mom about right now during the tww, but she won't even acknowledge what I have done.

BTW - I'm 38, own my home, and am nicely employed. It's not like I'm without resources.
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#7 of 8 Old 07-26-2008, 11:19 PM - Thread Starter
 
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that makes sense, mamajody, and thank you for the dose of perspective, angi!

DD 12/08
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#8 of 8 Old 07-26-2008, 11:22 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ommom View Post
that makes sense, mamajody, and thank you for the dose of perspective, angi!
Eh, it's what I do best. Rain on parades.
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