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#1 of 55 Old 08-06-2008, 11:23 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I know this is pretty early to bring this up, especially since many don't know what they are having. But, we think we are having a boy (early NT test showed boy parts, but still waiting for confirmation at 20 week u/s). Anyway, I have 2 lovely dd's, so I haven't had to think of this much. In fact, from being on this board for the last few years and lurking on various sites, I was glad that I never had to make the decision. I've read about it some and dh and I had a hypothetical conversation about it before. He indicated that he would want to have the baby circ. Notably, Dh is not circ (he'd be sooo embarrassed if he knew I shared this on a public site) Mom-in-law couldn't bring herself to do it to him! It seems very painful and, well, unnecessary. At the same time, I keep hearing all the reasons to do it.....not sure what those reasons are right now, except for, I guess, the cleanliness aspect of it.

Anyway, I know most of you ladies are far more educated on this than I am, so I would like to hear your thoughts.

Lookin' for answers
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#2 of 55 Old 08-07-2008, 12:18 AM
 
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Good for you to want to become more educated! thats the best thing!
My dh was circed...and planned that his ds would be...he admitted just cause thats what he has always known. After reading up on it in various books ect he decided strongly against it(of course I made him believe it was all his decision, ahh men fall for anything!!!)
Mothering this month has an article about circ, actually shows pictures of how they do it. Scary. Theres also many books, im sure if you search your library log you'll find one.
My midwives were actually quite great at making sure I didn't get ds circed. They lent me a book that REALLY hit home, about circ within different cultures, religions and female circ(VERY SCARY)...and that helped me alot with people who pushed the clean factor...girls get way more infections then boys and you would NEVER think of messing around with theyre genitals(most people will say cause you cant do it to girls) then when you say we'll some cultures do.....(dont even want to say!!!) why is it alright for boys but not girls??? people shut up real quick!
Read whatever you can find...here are my two big reasons

1) what makes me feel that I have a right to take something off my beautiful born perfect son...if at some point he needs to get circed(doubtful) and he asks why I didn't do it at birth, I'll tell him because I didn't think it was right for me to make that kind of decision that couldn't be reversed
2) less and less boys are getting circed...before if you werent you would be the odd man out in the changeroom, by the time our lil boys end up in school only around 20% will be circed(midwives gave me that lil gem)

HTHs I cant tell you what to do, but those were my reasons for not circing...all i can tell you is to read up and make your own decision, listen to what advice people give you but make your own decision!

mommy daddy son daughter = our family
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#3 of 55 Old 08-07-2008, 12:21 AM
 
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Warning: I'm a bit of an :!

The anti-circ forum here has a wealth of information that I really recommend you read.

Have your husband watch a circ video - they are on YouTube and elsewhere - and see if he feels the same way for very long.

My husband and I feel the removal of healthy tissue from a child (who cannot consent) is mutilation, and I see no difference between female circumcision/genital mutilation and male circumcision, other than current levels of social acceptance.

My husband is circumcised, and it upsets him that his parents made that decision for him because it was "the thing to do."

So, in sum: Absent a legitimate, specific medical reason to remove a boy's foreskin, there's no way in hell we'll be circumcising.
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#4 of 55 Old 08-07-2008, 12:24 AM
 
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#5 of 55 Old 08-07-2008, 12:28 AM
 
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Not in this DDC but saw this in new posts and had to drop in.


If your dh is not circ why in the world would he want to remove part of your ds's penis?? Your dh still has the "best" part your ds should as well. Please come over to the CAC forum and you will find all the information you need to keep your ds intact. There are a few links in CAC with circ video and 1 that is just still pictures that one is the only one I could bring myself to look at and it made me so ill I couldnt finish.

 
SAHMlady.gifread.giflovin' trekkie.giffan intactivist.gifwinner.jpg to loveeyes.gifenergy.gifDD 10/00 & superhero.gifmoon.gifDS 10/04 ribbonpb.gifIf your ds is intact, keep him safe, visit the Case Against Circ forumnocirc.gifCirc, a personal choice, Your sonsyes.gifbrokenheart.gif11/98brokenheart.gif6/99ribbonbrown.gifanti-tobaccoribbonyellow.gifThyroid cancer survivor. With cat.gif& goldfish.gif & (Boxer)dog2.gif wishing 4 whale.gif&ribbonwhite.gifsigncirc1.gifselectivevax.gifdelayedvax.gif

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#6 of 55 Old 08-07-2008, 12:40 AM
 
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www.circumstitions.org

We're not circumcising our son. It's not my body, I have no right to modify it without his consent. I'd rather he be angry that I left him the option than angry that I violated/mutilated him (depending on his POV on the subject and how bad they botched it--the year I was born, 80% of circumcisions were botched in some way). As for DH--he's left it in my hands because he honestly doesn't care and agrees with my reasoning listed above.

DH is fine being circumcised and I am fine with his penis. But I don't feel the need to make my son more attractive to ME. Ew, lol.

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#7 of 55 Old 08-07-2008, 02:14 AM
 
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My husband isn't circumcised either... I don't think there are any good convincing reasons to do that kind of body mod to such a young child. I figure, if any (potential) son if mine wants to mod his penis later, he can arrange that himself. Once he's an adult, he can circumcise it or tattoo it like a snake, for all I care.
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#8 of 55 Old 08-07-2008, 02:43 AM
 
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Hell no. I do not believe babies are born needing to have any part of their body removed.

11/06 and 1/09 :
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#9 of 55 Old 08-07-2008, 08:30 AM
 
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No way!
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#10 of 55 Old 08-07-2008, 09:05 AM
 
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I didn't circumcise DS. If we have another boy, he will not be circumsised either.

Mom to DS#1 and DS#2 fencing.gif
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#11 of 55 Old 08-07-2008, 09:19 AM
 
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We did not circ our two sons. That decision was met with a lot of resistance from family (as if it's any of their business) but I've never regretted the decision.

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#12 of 55 Old 08-07-2008, 09:35 AM
 
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I grew up in Europe where (christian) boys aren't usually circ, unless there is a medical reason to do it (and if there is, they find out way later, when the boy understand what's happening). I never understood why so much boys where circ, here... This part of the penis is there for a reason, it is protecting it and, yes, of course men have to keep it clean but isn't that something they should do with the rest of their body too ?
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#13 of 55 Old 08-07-2008, 09:41 AM
 
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#14 of 55 Old 08-07-2008, 10:31 AM
 
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I would never do that to my baby boy - for all of the reasons listed above. Please visit the Case Against Circumcision here on MDC.

Molly, mama to my 3 sweet boys.
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#15 of 55 Old 08-07-2008, 10:32 AM
 
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The cleanliness argument is so silly to me - why don't we cut off all baby girls' labias so they're "cleaner"? And while we're at it, why don't we do a study to see if women have a lower rate of HIV infection if they've been genitally mutilated? Surely that would be a good rationale to do it to girls too? :
/end rant

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#16 of 55 Old 08-07-2008, 11:38 AM
 
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Though my research I've found that a circ is not necessary. Yes, there might be a few boys who have to have one day later and yes, that would be traumatic, but for the most part, they do just fine.

If this is a boy (and that is a big if), we won't circ.

Michelle: wife to J, mom to M (2001), E (2003), C (2005), S (2007) and O! (2009) And someone new in 2011!
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#17 of 55 Old 08-07-2008, 02:01 PM
 
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we didn't circ DS. DH is circ'd, but he was absolutely adamant that we not circ our children. the way i look at it, i wouldn't do it to a girl, so why would i do it to a boy? we've had no problems whatsoever with DS being intact, and though we've heard foreskin horror stories, nothing convinced us that there was a solid reason to do it.
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#18 of 55 Old 08-07-2008, 02:27 PM
 
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I decided I didn't want to circ pretty early on. I think it's brutal and I do not find the normally cited reasons compelling (some of them I find downright fallacious). My DH is circed and was on the fence about whether we should do it to our own children. Then, during my last pregnancy (we didn't know whether we were having a boy or girl) we happened to catch an episode of the Penn & Teller show "Bull----" that was about circumcision. They actually showed a circumcision being done on some poor baby. Once DH saw what circumcision entailed, he immediately decided there was no way we would ever do that to our son, should we have one. He is also quite angry now that it was done to him. There's lots of resources about it, but if you're not sure and can find the episode, it's definitely worth watching.

T , mom to S and C
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#19 of 55 Old 08-07-2008, 02:31 PM
 
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Nope.

DH is Jewish and circ'ed, and will not circ a baby boy. We will be raising our children Jewish, too. (Plenty of interesting threads on THAT topic.)

The CAC forum is a very good place to begin.
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#20 of 55 Old 08-07-2008, 02:45 PM
 
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DS is 16 months and is not circ'd. My mom is a nurse and really reinforced all the research that shows there's no health reason to do it. Also my brother's was somewhat botched, he has some scarring, and he still did both his boys We have no other cultural or religious reasons to do so. My husband is circ'd, btw. I had seen the procedure done to an infant as a high schooler (shadowing my Mom in the OB rounds on take your daughter to work day) and it was really horrible. So that affected me, too. Then when I was interviewing pediatricians, I found one I liked and I asked her before I gave birth, about the new HIV research and she was like, "that's ridiculous--the studies show MAYBE a 30% decrease and that's not enough to justify it" so that helped me feel confident we were making the right decision.

But, I still kept saying 'it was up to my husband' I don't know why I felt that way at the time. I wouldn't now! But luckily, my DH was on board after talking to my mom about it. My friend left it up to her husband and he did for no other reason than looking like daddy, and it makes me sad whenever I babysit their son and do a diaper change or whatever. . .it was really bad looking as a newborn.

My in-laws made a few comments to DH about it after DS was born (thankfully never within my earshot) but finally he was just like, "look, we're obviously not doing it NOW, so just drop it" And they have. DS has never had any problems with anything so far because of not being circ'd (and why would he?)
So now I wouldn't do it for any subsequent boys. That was just our journey.
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#21 of 55 Old 08-07-2008, 04:15 PM
 
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No! DH is, but we didn't circ DS and won't for future children.

Taryn-31 Crunchy Conservative Catholic SAHM with DH-32
DS 7.5, DD 5 (vbac), DD 2.5 (vbac), and DD 12/30/13 (vbac)

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#22 of 55 Old 08-07-2008, 04:19 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by leerypolyp View Post
Nope.

DH is Jewish and circ'ed, and will not circ a baby boy. We will be raising our children Jewish, too. (Plenty of interesting threads on THAT topic.)

The CAC forum is a very good place to begin.
i think i love you. come to the "jewish moms who didnt circ" thread if you are not there already (i just found it).
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#23 of 55 Old 08-07-2008, 04:57 PM
 
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My son was circed (I had him when I was 19 adn I was uneducated about the subject) the OB, PCP, and Ped all recommended it. They just went ahead and did it before I had a chance to think about it.

If I have a boy I do not want to circ but DH is being very stubborn. he says he doesnt remember it, it didnt scar him and he thinks his mother did him a favor by making him "socailly acceptable."

Ugh! Doesnt matter what I show him or what he reads... :

I am really really hoping for a boy but this is making me consider hoping for a girl.
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#24 of 55 Old 08-07-2008, 07:06 PM
 
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We're not sure what we're having this time around (will find out in a couple of weeks), but if it's a boy we are def. not circ'ing! My husband is and thankfully he agrees we shouldn't. I look at it as mutilation as well. Main reason, why would you have your child go thorugh any unnecessary surgery??

homeschooling mama to ella (9) and maya (5)
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#25 of 55 Old 08-07-2008, 07:29 PM
 
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Definately not, though I've always felt a little uneasy about the idea, in the years since I've been reading on this site I've come to realise how utterly irrisponsible it is to allow somehting like that to be done to a newborn child, and no-one would ever be able to convince me to do it for any reason.

I think if my first had been a boy, he probably would have been circ'd, my Ex is from the US and is circ'd and was pretty gung-ho on the idea. Though living in BC it's an elective surgery, so maybe beween my MW's and my Mum I would have had some sense knocked into me in time. I'll never know though, as luckily I had a girl and din't have to think about it

My two boys are uncut, not nesesarily because I was any more educated on the matter (at least for the first), but because my DH's Mum somehow got a gem of a Doctor when she was pregnant with him, and she talked her and my FIL out of circ'ing him And this was back in '68, when it was still a routine surgery here, and the Dr. had to fight the hospital staff not to do it anyway!
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#26 of 55 Old 08-07-2008, 07:41 PM
 
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if the baby is a boy we won't circ. it's not commonly done here and it would cost extra and since it's not a neccessary procedure and i just wouldn't want to do that to a little boy we won't do it.

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#27 of 55 Old 08-07-2008, 08:18 PM
 
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If this little one is a boy, we will not circ. I hadn't ever given it a second thought until I came to MDC. I think I always thought there was some reason they did it, but now that I find out there isn't any medical reason, I can't think of why I would want to. I brought it up to my dad and he was so mad he hung up on me, lol. He is just SURE our son would be the laughingstock of the entire middle school. Whatever.

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#28 of 55 Old 08-07-2008, 08:58 PM
 
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We won't be if this is a boy. I just see no reason for it. DH, thankfully, doesn't care, but I think that comes from exposure to other men who have chosen to say no to circing. Then again, maybe he's just smart and knows not to argue it because once I have my mind made up, there is no changing it! :P

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#29 of 55 Old 08-07-2008, 09:28 PM
 
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Originally Posted by PassionateWriter View Post
i think i love you. come to the "jewish moms who didnt circ" thread if you are not there already (i just found it).
hi, could you please help me find that thread? (my preggo brain is interfering with me, i'm afraid)

btw, re. the OP: i'm not in this DDC, but feel passionately about this topic, only in the last few months since i have taken the time to inform myself. DH is jewish and relatively observant -- i'm neither jewish nor observant. i had tacitly agreed for our first 2 kids that we would circ if they were boys. (i had not taken the trouble to educate myself and thought it was basically no big deal)

anyway, this time around, i put my foot down. i had nightmares about circumcision as soon as i learned i was pregnant. i knew i couldn't live with myself if we did it.

after a few days of misery, DH said "if that's how you feel about it, we won't do it" :

(chances are we may end up with another girl anyway)

i strongly urge anyone who is reading this thread, and planning to circ, to inform/educate yourselves as much as possible before making this decision. this will affect the rest of your son's life, and you owe it to him to at least know why you made the decision you did.
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#30 of 55 Old 08-07-2008, 10:50 PM
 
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I absolutely will not ever have any of my children circumcised.
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