Our story: We decided to keep u/s to a minimum. But, if we went ahead with a 20 week u/s, we were going to go ahead and find out the sex. I had an u/s at 6.5 weeks due to some spotting and planned travel - saw a healthy baby and heartbeat. We've heard the heartbeat at every Dr/MW appointment since, so we have a pretty good indication all is well. Still, as this is our first baby and I'm planning a homebirth, we originally intended to go ahead and getting the 20 week u/s for the anatomy scan. I even scheduled it for August 25th.
Theeeeen I realized that our insurance sucks way worse than I thought it did, and I have a $5,000 maternity deductible, before which NOTHING is covered! Whoops.
: I found out that "routine" 20 week u/s was going to cost us upward of $500. Um... that's a lot of cloth diapers, y'know!? I'm certainly not a cheapskate when it comes to health
, but my gut is telling me that the u/s is unnecessary, so it's not a health issue. If I had an instinct telling me otherwise, I'd do it... but I'm not spending that kind of money on something purely elective.
Soooo we decided we wouldn't be finding out after all, for financial reasons. Then, my MW mentioned that if we really
want to know the sex, we could go to a pregnancy center here in town and they will do a basic u/s (not a full anatomy scan) and could tell us the sex. (They'd do it free, though I'd feel like I should at least give a donation.) Anyway, we pondered that for a few days, but I decided that a) I don't want to subject the baby to u/s just for the sake of knowing if it's a boy or a girl, and b) I had actually gotten pretty stoked about the idea of a surprise.
Ultimately, we decided that this baby will be a surprise after all. I told DH that I look at it this way: It's our first, and there will probably be more. If we get to the birth of this babe and decide it really wasn't a big deal to find out sex at the big "It's a ___" birth moment, we can always find out earlier with the next. I can't imagine regretting
waiting - but I can imagine finding out early and regretting not
So, that's why we're having a mystery bean. I don't really like gender-specific colors in the first place, so I'm totally okay with a bunch of neutrals.
The only thing that is a little hard is not being able to call the baby by his/her name - we haven't come up with a good nickname, and saying "the baby" is getting a little old.