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I'm a healthy pregnant woman, not a piece of fine china!

619 views 18 replies 13 participants last post by  beanbean 
#1 ·
I had some work supplies in my car that I needed to bring to my work site. I had a pretty big box with a medium-sized box stacked on top that I carried from the car to my office. Both boxes were extremely light - they contained nothing but paper towels and toilet paper. They weren't heavy at all, just kind of bulky. I had one more heavy box but I got a cart to bring that one in. About an hour later, our office manager came into my office and was very upset with me. She torn me a new one about carrying boxes while I was pregnant. I tried to assure her that they were very light but she insisted that it didn't matter. One of her exact comments was "It doesn't matter if they're light. You could really hurt yourself and then how would you feel when you lost your baby and it was your own fault?!" I told her that I was capable of carrying paper products with a minimal risk of injury and she told me that I wasn't like other women, that I was weaker because I suffer from infertility.
I was already having a hormonal kind of day and knew that I needed to humor her so she'd shut up or else I was going to end up telling her to F off. I politely thanked her for her concern and assured her that I would ask for help next time. She went on to say that I was forbidden from carrying anything over one pound. I asked who was going to carry my lunchbag for me because I eat a lot of food during the day.
I appreciate that she was just concerned for me but I hate being treated like I'm a delicate flower incapable of doing anything. I haul around a 30 pound toddler at home for God's sake!

Thanks for letting me vent.
 
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#2 ·
I'd have asked her when, exactly, she got her OB degree?

Seriously, a coworker, even a boss, has no right to tell you things like that. Do you have an HR person? I'd be talking to them, so that this woman doesn't feel she has the right to comment about everything you do/say/eat for the next 5 months.
 
#4 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by _betsy_ View Post
I'd have asked her when, exactly, she got her OB degree?

Seriously, a coworker, even a boss, has no right to tell you things like that. Do you have an HR person? I'd be talking to them, so that this woman doesn't feel she has the right to comment about everything you do/say/eat for the next 5 months.
+10,000!!!
 
#5 ·
Ug, you were much clamer then I would have been!! And yes, go speak to HR, Providing they don't agree with the office manager


Even at home when I do things my MIL gives me crap and I go off on her. I still pick up my 40lb son and no one gripes about that
 
#6 ·
I know some women work at jobs like ngith stocker at the grocery store or something and there are OSHA/union rules and regs about how much they are allowed to lift while PG. But paper products aren't really the same thing.

Whatever you do, don't lift your arms over year head with this woman around! Surely she'll start to chew yououtsaying the cord will get wrapped around baby's head that way!
 
#7 ·
GRRR!! WHAT ABOUT THE DAMN PIONEER WOMEN WHO HAD TO GIVE BIRTH IN THE FIELDS, STICK THE NEW BORN IN A BASKET AND GET BACK TO WORK? Pregnancy does NOT equal disability!!


My boss is like that. (funny because this is the same woman whos only giving me 3 wks maternity leave) And my MIL was the same way for the first 12 weeks, which is understandable because I have a history of MC but now I am 19 wks and she has kind of toned it down because she had me in tears frusterated.

I totally use the pg thing to my advantage with DH though. I have him carry laundry baskets and take the garbage out for me. Wash the dishes because my feet are swollen. Thats so bad. But like this weekend, we are moving to a new house and I wish my MIL were around because he is going to have to get over it because I have to help him carry things, as we have nobody willing to help us (in spite of the fact that we offered to pay some of his friends to help us move the big stuff and they, of course were all too busy) I would never over-do it!!

Anybody in MA wanna come to Hull this weekend and help us move? We will pay you and buy dinner... c'mon, we are right on the beach. You could help us for a little while on Saturday and spend the rest of the weekend on the beach!! I hear its gonna be a gorgeous labor day weekend!!


Well, you cant blame a girl for trying.
 
#8 ·
Last time around I constantly had people hassling me about riding my bike late in pregnancy (I commute by bike) and carrying my books and laptop case. My attitude was, this stuff needs to get to my classroom so I can teach. If you want to walk it over for me, you may have an opinion about what I carry when I'm pregnant. Otherwise...

I don't mind getting treated like a delicate flower if people are willing to do things for me. But if you're just criticizing, leave me the *&#$ alone.
 
#9 ·
She didn't see me, I think one of our front desk people told her. In her defense, she's usually a very nice lady and this is the first time she's ever done something like this. She's older (mid 60's I think) and VERY old school. When I had DD, I brought her to the office to show her off while I was on maternity leave. This same woman was horrified that DD wasn't wearing any socks despite the fact that it was easily 80 degrees outside. She insisted that babies always need socks so they don't get sick.


It's so funny that she'd think I'm so fragile. She's maybe 5 feet tall and 100 pounds soaking wet yet she's fiercly independent herself. I told her that if she were pregnant, she would have carried the boxes herself too. She said that was different because she's not weakened like me. I had a box of stuff to take back to to my car at the end of the day and I carried it myself right by her office just to spite her.
 
#10 ·
Wow, that's ridiculous! I mean, I'd love to stop being treated like I'm a normal, healthy woman (mowing the lawn is exhausting!) but that's above and beyond.
 
#11 ·
I'm not in this DDC, but saw this topic on the front page and it intruiged me. I may step against the crowd here and say that I think what she did was kind of sweet in what sounds like her own mother-hen way. I would feel the exact same way you do - I am capable at handling my own and if something were too heavy I would then ask for assistance. However, I think that it's nice that she is concerned for your health and safety (though I hope it was genuine and not an "OMG, do not let her get injured on our property" instance).

It's kind of humorous to hear someone get so concerned about lifting light boxes, when it seems typically pregnant women are often huffing it with kids, groceries, etc and no one offering to even open a door for them!

It'll be interesting to see how she reacts as you get further and further along!
 
#12 ·
Gah! It's just infuriating when people think you can't do the same normal things you would do when you aren't pregnant (within reason, I don't feel comfortable jumping off the couch/bed with a toddler lol) I'm sorry you had to deal with that, it's so frustrating. My mom is all the time lecturing about how women should NEVER, under any circumstance - pregnant or not, lift more than 25lbs b/c it's not good for your "womanly parts". Then she went off on my for carrying my 30lb ds in a ring sling over a mile to the post office and back while I was a few weeks pregnant, which lead to me going off on her. Maybe you could try to "educate" your boss or have your ob write a note saying you can do the things your boss advises against.
 
#15 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by papschmitty View Post
"It doesn't matter if they're light. You could really hurt yourself and then how would you feel when you lost your baby and it was your own fault?!"
geesh - a bit of TP seems perfectly reasonable. what if you had another kid a year older to carry? it seems like adding bad energy to even mention the above. i'd have been annoyed too.
 
#19 ·
Isn't it funny how people seem to fall all over themselves to help when you don't need it, but conveniently ignore you when you DO?

Oh what I'd give for reserved parking spots for pregnant women at every store, just like they have at BRU. When you're having joint or round ligament pain, it's hard not to be angry at all those able-bodied people stealing your parking spot in the front!
 
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