Hope, Healing, & Conceiving Again in June 2010 -- June Lovin' for a LOVE baby! - Mothering Forums
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Trying To Conceive After Loss > Hope, Healing, & Conceiving Again in June 2010 -- June Lovin' for a LOVE baby!
SimplyRochelle's Avatar SimplyRochelle 12:45 AM 06-01-2010
Happy June, ladies!


This thread is for women who wish to conceive after a loss and need support, hope and healing. If you wish to be added to the thread or want to modify your info please make requests in bold. Threadkeeper reserves the right to remove you to In Our Thoughts, from Waiting to O and Waiting to Know sections, if you have not posted to the thread in 3 months.

Fertility Friend Charts - Since we will no longer be able to link charts in our signatures, they'll now be posted next to your name in the status list below. Let me know if you want your chart added to the list. If you do, just post the link and add the icon in your post so I don’t miss anyone.


Bring on the RAINBOW babies!!



Waiting to O:

Blanca78
columbusmomma
Evenstar1025
famille_huggins
GolfAddict
Grahnola Mum
InstinctiveMom
Jen+6
jennabella
jenniferadurham
ladyjools
Kelilah
lovbeingamommy
millefleur
mksmith
MrsHin2002
no5no5
SimplyRochelle
slarue
SLOgirl
Tear78
wehrli
willowsmom
xtara2003x

Waiting to know!:

alireb
babsbob
enigo
idigchaitea
malayasmommy
pycelan
Sihaya

Waiting to be ready:

gentlecowgirl
keuriweo
meander
MI_Dawn
MrsMike

BFPS!:

FMS619
SusanMy
Megan73
cagnew

Stick little ones, stick!

Due January 2010
finnegansmom
PhotoJournMama

Due December 2010
annettemarie With TWINS!!!
BarefootGirl
lindsey8
painefaria
pixiekisses
PrettyHippie
starshine1001

Due November 2010
liz-hippymom
StarMama

Due October 2010
*04Mom07*
Ashley_R
blue butterfly
Gen24
luv-my-boys
mangosink0
Mommameow
orandalady

Due September 2010
Bethanta
CherryBomb
jgc920
Jules09
KeyToMamasHeart
Schae
xekomaya

Due August 2010
*Jade*
LovnMyBoys
LZP
Meredyth0315
Parkersmommy

Due July 2010
AmyKT
ArtsyHeartsy
blondemom2bstl
Dana76
EmSzatmary
haleyelianasmom
Manessa
NWmt_mama
WaitingForKiddos
zoie2013

Due June 2010
aj_18
alexaskj
bkirti
expatmommy
Pinoikoi
swanlake

Due May 2010
Bubblette Welcome BOY (name TBA)!
jess_paez Welcome Kai Ambrose Paez!

Khaoskat Welcome Wyatt!
mischievium Welcome Karsten Ezra!

Due April 2010
alternamama82 Welcome Soren David!
ann of loxley Welcome Hamish Oliver!
claireb Welcome Noah Peter and Ryan Matthew...born at 25w6d!
flowerlover
girlygirl707
mrsbabycakes Welcome August!
shantiani Welcome Astrid Mathilde!
smeisnotapirate Welcome Naomi Noa Eiser!

Due March 2010
bc1995 Welcome Maggie Isabel Grace!!
Dinahx Welcome Zacchaeus John Aaron!
kms7z Welcome Yogi!
lucy_v
zonapellucida

Due February 2010
AbbeyWH Welcome Monty Black-Bear!
AlumofUF Welcome Patrick Brooklyn!
Fireflyforever Welcome Tobias Matthew!
jul511riv
MommaSomeday Welcome Jareth Alexander!
patronus Welcome Elise Norma!
Tellera

In our Thoughts:
apmama2myboo
BelovedK
Buffalomama
campari
Carrin
catballou24
dbl_my_luv
eastcarolina
geekgolightly
jgc920
Kayda's Mom
kerrybennysmama
lemurmommies
mammalove
Milk8shake
mmpmelmack
mommies_2_be
noahandlylasmommi
noveena16
Olerica
Prism
rumi79
sarahcecile
Seedlings
shy
singin_angel
so confused!
Thomsen
tinynyota
Vermillion
wileymama
yummymummy2hannah


Kelilah's Avatar Kelilah 02:51 PM 06-01-2010
Thanks for the support, everyone. Every month I get upset, but I get over it more quickly every time. Hopefully I'll eventually get used to this whole thing and I'll stop sobbing every time I get a period. I know my husband will be glad when that day comes. Anyway it really helps to have supportive communities like this where I can vent and whine!
enigo's Avatar enigo 03:48 PM 06-01-2010
Awww crud... Can you take me off of Dec BFP's and slap me into waiting to know?
pycelan's Avatar pycelan 04:29 PM 06-01-2010
ADD ME PLEASE...WAITING TO O

Do I post here if I want to join?

My name is Becky...I am 35 years old. I have a DS who is 9 years old and a DD who is 8 years old. Since came so close together (15 months apart), DH had a vasectomy after DD was born, even though I did not 100% agree. 5 years ago DH had a vasectomy reversal done when I convinced him that we still needed another person in our family. At the time, we were told he had developed anti-sperm antibodies and that the sperm would not swim. Although the doctor did not say we would NEVER get pregnant, he did say that our chances were slim to none.

Fast forward 5 years...I got a BFP in May 2010 We were SO surprised and happy! DS and DD were over the moon!!

However, this baby stopped growing at 8 weeks. I took Cytotec last Thursday and have just about finished miscarrying. So...here we go again TTC #4. I started charting this am.

I am angry and sad over the loss of this baby. I do not understand why he was given to me after all this time...and then taken away. I am happy, however, that the pregnancy happened at all. DH has an appointment with his urologist next week to get a sperm analysis done.

I am also scared to try again. I do not want to go thru this awful experience of losing a baby again. I will not tell the kids until well after the first trimester this time...I would hate for them to have to experience the loss of another sibling again.

Well, that is about it. Thank you all for listening.


FMS619's Avatar FMS619 05:48 PM 06-01-2010
Well, I think I can be changed to Waiting to Know...even though I'm not sure if I O'd or not. I've been using opk's since a week ago Monday...lots of cm from Thursday to Sunday, but no real change in the opk's...Sunday's was *slightly* darker than the other days, but not even close to the control line. Can the opk's be wrong?? Am I wasting my money to keep taking them if my cm has gone back to normal?

If I get AF this month, I'm going to start temping again. My 22 month old is finally sleeping through the night so I think I can temp again.

I feel so frustrated! Now I don't even know if I'm ovulating--which is pretty much a necessity! Any ideas are appreciated.
Becky
meander's Avatar meander 06:48 PM 06-01-2010
*I'm* ready...but my uterus apparently isn't. I'm 14 weeks post D&C, and still no period. Prometrium didn't help. Now I've been put on birth control pills for a month to hopefully 'reset' whatever isn't set right. So it'll be at least late June before I can expect to O again.
The waiting is so hard. I'm aching to be pregnant again, and having a hard time accepting this new hurdle. Time seems to be really dragging; most days I feel rather like I'm living the same day over and over and over again...I never realized how tied to my cycles I was, but apparently without them I lose much of my sense of time passing. How wierd.
I'm just trying to let as much as possible roll off my back, but that's getting harder by the day.
SimplyRochelle's Avatar SimplyRochelle 03:49 PM 06-02-2010
I updated everyone, all the new babies too. Added you here too Becky.


I'm still sick. Got myself nice and depressed thinking about how it has almost been 2 years since I was pregnant. I can definitely feel something going on in my ovarian region already though, nice little cramps throughout the day. Giving me some hope. Blah.
columbusmomma's Avatar columbusmomma 04:34 PM 06-02-2010
I haven't posted forever! In the meantime I have a question. I just had a natural m/c. This is now my 2nd m/c in a row, and my 2nd m/c in about 6 months. The Dr. wants me to do some bloodwork for antiphospholipid syndrome. Anyone on this thread have this, or know anything about it? When I read online about it it just doesn't seem like a large percentage of the population have this disorder. Really, can 2 m/c just be the norm and ok, or is my body more likely to have something going on??
jenniferadurham's Avatar jenniferadurham 06:02 PM 06-02-2010
Quote:
Originally Posted by enigo View Post
Awww crud... Can you take me off of Dec BFP's and slap me into waiting to know?
sorry to hear the cruddy news.


Can you move me to waiting to O please?


Got a BFP yesterday but the test was bad and everyone after that is neg. So here we go again...7 months and waiting...
xtara2003x's Avatar xtara2003x 06:26 PM 06-02-2010
Quote:
Originally Posted by columbusmomma View Post
I haven't posted forever! In the meantime I have a question. I just had a natural m/c. This is now my 2nd m/c in a row, and my 2nd m/c in about 6 months. The Dr. wants me to do some bloodwork for antiphospholipid syndrome. Anyone on this thread have this, or know anything about it? When I read online about it it just doesn't seem like a large percentage of the population have this disorder. Really, can 2 m/c just be the norm and ok, or is my body more likely to have something going on??
I'd love to see the answer to this question as well.

I just had my 2nd miscarriage in 3 months. My doctor won't do any testing until I have 3 miscarriages because I've carried one child to term already w/ no problems.

I'd be really curious to see what everyone else says!!!
pycelan's Avatar pycelan 08:52 PM 06-02-2010
Thank you for adding me. It is nice to "talk" with other women who feel the way I do.

I went to my DD's end of the year party today. I know I was asked 5 times about the "baby"...and had to tell all of them about the miscarriage. What an awful day. On a good note though...both my DD and my DS got lots of awards for their hard work this year in school. I am so proud of them!

I thought the bleeding from my MC was over yesterday...but it picked back up last night and continues today. I go to the MD tomorrow for a vaginal US to see how much is left in there. I know this was the right way to go...but sometimes I just wish I had gotten the D&C so it would all be over by now. **SIGH** I am SO IMPATIENT!!!
pycelan's Avatar pycelan 08:58 PM 06-02-2010
Oh jenniferadurham...how awful to get a BFP and then negatives!!

Rochelle... I am so sorry that you are sick! I was sick with an AWFUl cold a few weeks ago and didn't think I would make it. That doesn't help your hope either!

FMS619...I cannot afford OPK's so I always try to depend on temps or CM...or BDing every other night all month just to cover my bases!
Megan73's Avatar Megan73 12:12 AM 06-03-2010
Quote:
Originally Posted by FMS619 View Post
Well, I think I can be changed to Waiting to Know...even though I'm not sure if I O'd or not. I've been using opk's since a week ago Monday...lots of cm from Thursday to Sunday, but no real change in the opk's...Sunday's was *slightly* darker than the other days, but not even close to the control line. Can the opk's be wrong?? Am I wasting my money to keep taking them if my cm has gone back to normal?

If I get AF this month, I'm going to start temping again. My 22 month old is finally sleeping through the night so I think I can temp again.
I have a 22-month-old, too, Becky. Isn't it the cutest age

Hang in there, meander. I've never been so happy to see AF than after my miscarriages. I hope it happens soon...

[QUOTE=SimplyRochelle;15473129
I'm still sick. Got myself nice and depressed thinking about how it has almost been 2 years since I was pregnant. I can definitely feel something going on in my ovarian region already though, nice little cramps throughout the day. Giving me some hope. Blah.[/QUOTE]

My mantra has always been that hope does not make bad things happen. Hope away, mama. I have a good feeling for you!

Quote:
Originally Posted by columbusmomma View Post
I haven't posted forever! In the meantime I have a question. I just had a natural m/c. This is now my 2nd m/c in a row, and my 2nd m/c in about 6 months. The Dr. wants me to do some bloodwork for antiphospholipid syndrome. Anyone on this thread have this, or know anything about it? When I read online about it it just doesn't seem like a large percentage of the population have this disorder. Really, can 2 m/c just be the norm and ok, or is my body more likely to have something going on??
I'm sorry for your losses, mama.
Other people will likely disagree - and my first tri losses weren't consecutive - but my feeling is that given how incredibly common early losses are, it's really not that unlikely, especially for a woman my age - mid to late 30s - to have had two, YK? I do think it's worth getting blood tests - they're risk free and non-invasive. I did them after my daughter was stillborn at term. Nothing showed up and I assume the fact that I conceive easily and have carried two babies to term rules out a lot of other problems. I'm just going to keep trying - and hope against hope!
I hope it happens for you, too.

I hope your U/S shows you're all clear, pycelan. I just went through a marathon miscarriage and I was just so relieved to see an empty uterus. I hope it's truly over for you.

AFM, I'm waiting to know. But not holding out too much hope this month.
alireb's Avatar alireb 12:20 AM 06-03-2010
Hi ladies! Just checking in on the new thread since I totally forgot about it being June...nothing new to report here, on cd5 and still bummed about my 7 day lp from last cycle. I'm hoping that this cycle does not repeat the last one and still debating on getting progesterone supplements for after O to help lengthen lp. Any advice?
Sihaya's Avatar Sihaya 11:37 AM 06-03-2010
Hi everyone! I've been lurking here for a few months. I'm Steph and I had my first m/c in Nov at 10wks (baby measured 5) and my second in March at 9 weeks (no u/s, but never found anything resembling a baby in the tissue).

This was our first cycle TTC after the second m/c and I'm 15 dpo today. I tested at 9, 10, 11, and 13 dpo, all stark white BFNs. I only have one IC test left and need to verify I'm definitely not pg before going off my Prometrium, so I'm waiting until Saturday (17 dpo) to test. I really am feeling like this cycle isn't it, which is hard first because we've never not gotten pg when we DTD during my fertile time before and also because today was my EDD with the first m/c.

You can add me to Waiting to O (chart here), even though it will be at least a week until AF arrives because I can't even entertain the idea that I'm pg this time around. I really need to free up that emotional space so I can grieve the baby I would have been 40 wks pg with today.

Sorry for the downer intro. I really am glad to have this space with other women who understand to some degree and don't think I'm crazy for grieving my babies or for trying again.
Megan73's Avatar Megan73 01:48 PM 06-03-2010
Welcome, Steph.
Sweet little one
GolfAddict's Avatar GolfAddict 01:55 PM 06-03-2010
Hello and welcome to all the new members...although I hate that you are here.

Alireb - Have you tried maca? I started using it late last year to increase libido and I noticed my LP was a couple days longer.

Quote:
I thought the bleeding from my MC was over yesterday...but it picked back up last night and continues today.
Mine did the same thing...up and down until the spotting starting...then the spotting just gradually reduced. And I noticed my bleeding was heavier when I was stressed or emotional. Not sure if that is common or just a coincidence though. Hopefully, it will be over soon for you.

Quote:
I just had my 2nd miscarriage in 3 months.
I'm so sorry you are having to go through that again. I believe your first was in March when my first was. Hang in there!!

AFM - All signs have indicated that I have O'd except for my temps. I thought my temp was on the rise and I expected my crosshairs yesterday but temp actually went down and didn't rise as much as I thought it would today either. Even Ovacue indicates I O'd already. I'm not sure what's going on with temps.

Is it possible for your temp rise to be delayed after you O? Maybe my body is slow to react?
FMS619's Avatar FMS619 04:30 PM 06-03-2010
Sihaya,
Thinking of you today. Hope your stay here is a short one but that you can have good support in the meantime! This is a great group of ladies.

Megan73,
Well, yes, I think 22 months is a pretty cute age, but yesterday, I cleaned up poop from all over her crib, sheet, legs, arms, belly, etc., etc. She had gotten her diaper off and then pooped and "played" with it before I knew she was awake in the morning I told someone about this incident and they said that their niece did this so often, that they had to put her footy jammies on backwards so she couldn't get them off herself! Hope I don't have to do that!

AFM we are going on a family camping trip through the weekend, with my sisters, parents, kids, etc. Should be fun, but I can't help think that I should be 33 weeks pregnant as we go on this trip...funny how these thoughts come up at different times, because I'm not usually obsessing about how pregnant I should be, but this week, it has been driving me crazy!!

Thank You to those who recognized and understood what I was saying when I mentioned about "Becky from before and Becky now." I really feel changed from this experience and I'm glad to know I'm not the only one.

So hopeful that I could be surprised with a BFP late next week, but really just want to get AF over with so we can try again in June. Frustrating!

Have a good weekend, everyone!
Becky
pycelan's Avatar pycelan 09:39 PM 06-03-2010
Welcome Sihaya.., although I hate that you are here with us.

Well...the ultrasound was clear today...and the spotting has pretty much stopped. HCG zero...so here we go again! Of course, I had my emotional break-down as I left the doctor's office. Glad that it is over...but sad that it even has to be over!
xtara2003x's Avatar xtara2003x 01:19 AM 06-04-2010
Welcome alireb!

I am going to do progesterone supplements 3 days after O this cycle. I don't have a short LP....in fact most of the signs of a progesterone deficiency I do not have....but with my first m/c....I had a blood test done and my prog. level was super low (5). After the second m/c...I figure why not try it?

Sihaya! Hi! Thanks again for your PM info that you sent to me. I have to re read it again when I have some time to digest everything some more!! I'm thinking of you!!

Sihaya and FMS619....I've been thinking a lot about where I would be lately too. I'd be around 19-20 weeks pregnant with my first m/c baby. In fact, I keep going and looking at U/S pictures of a girl I know who was due a few days after me. I don't know why I keep doing it. It's pure torture and I burst into tears every time I see a picture of her sweet baby. I imagine what my baby would look like and I feel like I am being stabbed in the :heart.

GolfAddict~ Hi! I remember you. I was due in Oct..and I think you're right and we were in the same DDC.

As far as if you can O and have a slow rise..you sure can. I did...in fact that is the cycle I got pregnant. See my ...it's the second one. You can definitely have a slow rise. You can even plug that into FF and see all the charts with slow risers!

pycelan~ I'm glad your US was clear and that your spotting has stopped and your HCG is down to zero. I am pretty sure mine is pretty close to zero as of today. I took a pg test last night....and it was basically negative although you KIND of could see SOMETHING..but barely. That test tests at 25mu so I figure by tomorrow for sure I'll be at zero if anything. Last time I tested positive for a lot lot longer...like 2 weeks after I started miscarrying. I'm glad my hormones are adjusting faster. Must be because they've had so much practice............UGH.

AFM...still hanging out waiting until the end of next week when I think I'll O. I am standing up in a wedding tomorrow....so I should probably go and get ready to pretend to be all happy and chipper......I think I'll just drink a lot.
mommabeehilly's Avatar mommabeehilly 09:40 AM 06-04-2010
Well, here I am...reaching out. I had a loss almost a year ago on May 13th. My midwife told me to give myself 6 months to a year and that advise seemed perfectly fitted to me. In February we started trying...well I am not sure that is the right term. What I really did was took myself out of the results committee, so it's more like we stopped not trying.

Today my breasts are aching. I have taken a pregnancy test the past two days (last day of my cycle is Sunday) and they both are faintly positive. I am scared. That's all really...I am scared. I don't want to go through the ache of telling a friend just yet. I am just trying to trust this process. I welcome thoughts, experience and hope.
pycelan's Avatar pycelan 10:47 AM 06-04-2010
Quote:
Originally Posted by xtara2003x View Post
Welcome alireb!

pycelan~ I'm glad your US was clear and that your spotting has stopped and your HCG is down to zero. I am pretty sure mine is pretty close to zero as of today. I took a pg test last night....and it was basically negative although you KIND of could see SOMETHING..but barely. That test tests at 25mu so I figure by tomorrow for sure I'll be at zero if anything. Last time I tested positive for a lot lot longer...like 2 weeks after I started miscarrying. I'm glad my hormones are adjusting faster. Must be because they've had so much practice............UGH.

AFM...still hanging out waiting until the end of next week when I think I'll O. I am standing up in a wedding tomorrow....so I should probably go and get ready to pretend to be all happy and chipper......I think I'll just drink a lot.
I LOVE your use of smileys in this quote. Thank you for giving me a smile this morning!

The spotting started back up some last night after DH had I had the first post-MC BD session. He called himself "Roto-Rooter...just helping you finish cleaning everything out!" I am hoping this spotting is the last little bit.

Good luck at the wedding, Tara. Drinking a lot sounds good to me! Maybe it will take your mind off of all of this for a while!

I had a person who did not know about the MC ask me about how I was feeling this morning...whether I was having too much morning sickness. Poor guy...he looked so shocked and sad when I told him that I had lost the baby. **sigh** I hope everyone knows by now...I hate to have to keep taking about it.

We are all going to get thru this...we are all going to get thru this...
pycelan's Avatar pycelan 10:53 AM 06-04-2010
Quote:
Originally Posted by mommabeehilly View Post
Well, here I am...reaching out. I had a loss almost a year ago on May 13th. My midwife told me to give myself 6 months to a year and that advise seemed perfectly fitted to me. In February we started trying...well I am not sure that is the right term. What I really did was took myself out of the results committee, so it's more like we stopped not trying.

Today my breasts are aching. I have taken a pregnancy test the past two days (last day of my cycle is Sunday) and they both are faintly positive. I am scared. That's all really...I am scared. I don't want to go through the ache of telling a friend just yet. I am just trying to trust this process. I welcome thoughts, experience and hope.
Bee- I am so sorry you are here...but so happy for the positive! I worry about being scared if/when I get pregnant again, also. I have thought about not telling anyone until I go in for the first few checks and everything looks OK. And by everyone...I mean DH, the kids, friends, EVERYONE! I may have to tell my best friend just so she can go with me...but no one else. I don't want DH and the kids to have to hurt again. And I don't want to tell friends and then have to go back and tell them I lost it.

So, I don't know that I have words of advice...just empathizing, I guess. We are here to listen and to share your news...especially if you are hesitant to tell anyone else. Use us...we will be here for you!
mommabeehilly's Avatar mommabeehilly 11:12 AM 06-04-2010
Quote:
Originally Posted by pycelan View Post
So, I don't know that I have words of advice...just empathizing, I guess. We are here to listen and to share your news...especially if you are hesitant to tell anyone else. Use us...we will be here for you!
Thank you so much pycelan...more than anything, that is exactly what I need right now.
MI_Dawn's Avatar MI_Dawn 11:18 AM 06-04-2010
Can you take me off the list, or put me "in our thoughts" or something? We've decided to stop trying. It's a hard place to end my childbearing years, but it's just becoming more stress than I can deal with anymore.

I will lurk, I'm sure. You guys are so awesome, and I wish you lots of blessings, especially the snuggly little newborn kind.
Evenstar1025's Avatar Evenstar1025 11:41 AM 06-04-2010
I can be moved back to waiting to O... my knee surgery is on next Tuesday and I don't know if I'll even want to TTC but it's been 8 months and I'm getting frustrated. What if it never happens again? What if that was it... either that was all DH had in him or that was all I had in me... or both... or whatever...
gentlecowgirl's Avatar gentlecowgirl 07:01 PM 06-04-2010
A fancy new thread! Hi to all the new folks, this is such a supportive group full of lovely people! hopefully we all can get on outa here soon and have some rockin playgroups with our sweet babes! It such a hard trip to be on.



Dawn- that is so hard. I am so sorry. I have been thinking of you and I wish you peace and healing. You are so brave mama.


I am ? days po and not obsessing, really I am not. Ok maybe a little. I am not poas until next weekend. Have a great weekend everyone.
Jules09's Avatar Jules09 07:46 PM 06-04-2010
Quote:
Originally Posted by MI_Dawn View Post
Can you take me off the list, or put me "in our thoughts" or something? We've decided to stop trying. It's a hard place to end my childbearing years, but it's just becoming more stress than I can deal with anymore.

I will lurk, I'm sure. You guys are so awesome, and I wish you lots of blessings, especially the snuggly little newborn kind.
So many to you, Dawn. I've been hoping so much for you with every month. I hope the decision to step aside from ttc brings you some peace and a break from the stress. I'll be thinking of you.
mommabeehilly's Avatar mommabeehilly 10:42 AM 06-05-2010
The positive is a little more obvious today after POS. And I am ... "God I trust you completely in this process."
pycelan's Avatar pycelan 12:13 PM 06-06-2010
Bee...I am right along with you! Keep us posted!!
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