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Angel Baby Picture Gallery

34K views 205 replies 42 participants last post by  Melinda1980 
#1 ·
I'm going to go ahead and start this thread by posting some pictures of my son Innocent. I think that every mama needs to be able to show off her babies if she wants to, even if those babies are little and still. It's hard to do that for most of us because people are uncomfortable looking at them. If this is a thread you would be uncomfortable with, then by all means, don't make yourself feel worse by looking. I know that not all of us have photographs of our children, either because of the brevity of the pregnancy or because of the simple lack of pictures, but for those who do, this might be a healing thing to do.

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Innocent died at about 12 weeks and five days. We found out a week later and he was born at just past 15 weeks.

The only ultrasound pictures I have are of him after he passed. The other pictures were taken the night he was born.

Innocent 12 wks 2-5 days 001.JPG

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#52 ·
Thank you for posting, texanromaniac. I can definitely see Paisley, although there is obviously a difference from the other picture. (((hugs))) Size is no definer of love.
 
#53 ·
Yellow - what sweet babies , Aiden is perfect
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#54 ·
Yellowbutterfly - I need to ask as it just seems unreal - you dont need to answer me - as i have no idea where you are at about Aiden's loss, but what happened that he died? I know he had a prolapsed cord, but I had a PC with DD as well but they didn't treat it as an emergency or anything? I was only 33 weeks when my waters broke with her and they tried keeping the labor away but I lost too much amniotic fluid and she had to be delivered. This is destirbing for me, and I have been wanting to ask for some time. Sorry, I'm not curios I'm really interested.
 
#55 ·
Corgimommy- I don't mind you asking about the birth. I wouldn't know why your prolapse wasn't considered an emergency, though. When a cord prolapses the baby's cut off from his/her oxygen supply and it can be a life-threatening emergency. Your DD was so lucky.

I was full term and in labor at home. I wasn't having a home birth but I also didn't feel the need to race to the hospital at the first contraction either, so I was just hanging out at home until my contractions were 3-5 minutes apart. I was just getting out of the shower and was not at all that far along in my labor when my water broke and the umbilical cord flew completely out of body in a big loop halfway to my knees. It certainly wasn't that hard to diagnose and I had read so much about birth complications from pregnancy and birth books that I actually knew to get into a knee chest position(to try to keep the pressure of the baby's head off the cord) and I had my husband call 911. The paramedics were in the door about 7 minutes later, they wrapped the cord with warm wet towels, one of the paramedics had two fingers through my cervix trying to keep the weight of my baby's head off the cord. (As a side note- it turned out I was only 3-4 centimeters dilated, not at all ready to push. I have no idea how or why that cord completely came out of my vagina without any pushing at all but oddly enough all it took was the water to drop it out. There was no meconium in the water when it gushed out, so I don't think he was in any fetal distress before my water broke.) Anyway, I was raced to the nearest hospital in a knee chest position, and although the paramedics kept the cord pulsating all the way to the hospital, which was only about 15 minutes away, my baby had no heartbeat by the time they got me into the operating room for the c-section. They got him out of me as quickly as they could and resuscitated him but by that time he had gone too long without oxygen and his brain damage was so severe that he couldn't live off a ventilator. The picture we took was taken after the Dr removed him from the ventilator and I was holding him, waiting for him to die. He died shortly after that picture was taken. I know that what happened in my situation was extremely unusual and a lot of babies are lucky enough to survive a prolapsed cord, but unfortunately my son wasn't one of the lucky ones.
 
#56 ·
Yellowbutterfly, this breaks my heart. You did everything right, and still...

What a fallen world we live in.

I'm so sorry.
 
#57 ·
Yellowbutterfly, I am so sorry that you had to go through that. You really feel how precious life is when hearing stories of pregnancy loss.

Thank you to all the moms who have shared pictures. Babies are beautiful and precious no matter what size. I love what MAnna said about love and the size of a little one, a mothers love does not discriminate.

Thank you for starting the thread and the opportunity to share, MAnna! We were blessed to have Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep take pictures of our daughter Monica after she was stillborn.

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#58 ·
TandN, what a beautiful, beautiful baby girl. It's hard to believe she's not just asleep. I think NILMDTS is a phenomenal service. I wish I were a photographer so I could help. Thank you so much for sharing with us.
 
#60 ·
I noticed a comment about how many views this thread has had. I have to admit to looking at it several times without commenting.

MAnna, your pics are pretty confronting for me, because I lost my first bub at 12.5. It was a spontaneous miscarriage, that came about pretty quickly, and I was definitely in shock.

I was on the way to a hospital appointment, and my water broke, and so we went straight to ED instead of Maternity.

The nurse asked me to change into a gown, and when I took down my pants, I just felt a kind of "plop", and my baby fell into my underwear. At that point, they hadn't allowed DP to come in, and I didn't know what to do, and I just couldn't look. I just couldn't. I was so afraid that I was going to see some type of alien looking thing... I was terrified and alone.

I was just leaning over the bed rail sobbing. And I never looked. It's something that I regret with my whole heart.

The nurse scooped up my undies, with my baby still in them, and put them in the sink, and she just turned around and snarled "why are you crying?"

Anyway - I wish I had looked, and I wish I had photos.
 
#61 ·
Oh, Milk8shake, my heart breaks for you. "Why are you crying?" Lord have mercy, you'd just lost your child. I'm so sorry you had to endure such cruelty and insensitivity. ((((hugs)))) and I wish I could give them to you in person. When people are in shock they can do terrible things. You didn't do anything terrible, you just didn't look. I know you regret it, I can understand that, but you didn't hurt your baby by not looking. Oh, honey, be good to yourself. I was scared to look when I delivered Innocent. The water was so full of blood you couldn't see anything and I was even afraid to fish around to find him. I knew instinctively (as you did) that I'd delivered him. I was so afraid he'd be mangled, in pieces. It took me a few minutes of crying and trying to take deep calming breaths before I was brave enough to pick him up. He was still in the sac and all in one piece. If I'd not been alone (DH passes out at the sight of blood) someone else might have picked him up instead and I would have gotten the same kind of remark you did. It's circumstantial and not your fault.

(((hugs)))
 
#62 ·
MAnna, I have to ask and you certainly don't have to answer me, but I'm going to be taking Cytotech tomorrow evening, and I'm about 13 weeks now.

Was it obvious that Innocent was a boy, or is it that moms intuition that you went off with that?

I'm just wondeing if I will be able to determine what sex my little one is when he/she is finally delivered. I know you were at about the same week with Innocent, that I'm at now, so I thought was would ask. I haven't told my SO that I would really like to give this baby a name, he still isn't handling this too well, and not sure if he would think I'm crazy or not, or if I would upset him more. Just wondering if I will be able to pick a gender specific name, or a neutral one. Thanks so much and hugs to everyone.
 
#63 ·
milk8shake - I've heard of some insensitive nurses (which really seems like it is a contradiction of terms), but that one takes the cake. It's too bad you were in no frame of mind to give her the earful she deserved. Wow. I'm so sorry that you were treated so poorly. She should have been hugging you and offering support and comfort.

I was scared to look too. I had birthed Owen into my hand while sitting on the toilet, and I knew that it was a baby that had come out. But when I looked, it still surprised me, and I dropped him into the water. The cord was still attached, so I didn't "lose" him in the water, but I made DH come into the bathroom to look for me because I was too freaked out. I looked again briefly when I brought him out of the water and accidentally broke his cord, but those two teeny peeks were all I could do.

Don't beat yourself up over not looking. It's completely normal to be scared, overwhelmed, and not know what to do. And that awful nurse didn't give you the support and encouragement you needed in that moment do do anything but what you did.
 
#64 ·
Shell29, I'm so sorry about your baby! Prayers for you as you go through this today! I guess you've read enough by now to see that it can be helpful and healing to hold your baby and I hope you have the support you need to do so.

To answer your question, I just "knew" he was a boy, but when he was born I confirmed it. It was very obvious. A picture is better than words here because you're going to be facing it this evening so I'll post one. It's the only one showing his gender and it's not a good one, but even with all that I think you can tell:

(You can see his umbilical cord hanging down from his tummy, crossing over his left leg, but it's not in the way. The large whited-out thing on the left is my finger.)

Innocent 015.JPG
 
#65 ·
I was looking through Sophia's memory box from the hospital a few days ago, and I found a CD of pictures that the hospital took. There were no full-body pictures like with Owen (I was curious to see if the darkness in his abdomen was also present in her), but there are a couple of nice ones.

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#66 ·
Oh Diana. Look at those gorgeous teensy toes. I'm so glad you found those pictures and honored that you shared them with us. (Were there more pictures that the hospital had? I thought I was remembering that you said they were to send you some, but maybe these were the pictures instead.) I think since our little babies' skin is so thin you can see everything through it and so their tummies might look a bit dark. It doesn't matter to me. She is just beautiful as was Owen.

Thank you.
 
#67 ·
Yes, there are more pictures... somewhere. The hospital had a professional come in to take pictures, and my understanding is that they would be mailed to me. There are business cards in the box, so I'll call on Monday. The pictures I posted are the ones that the nurses took for me.

I was curious if Owen's dark abdomen was indicative of something being wrong. I know that his placenta showed a chorio infection, which was then transmitted to Sophia and to me... I didn't know if maybe the darkness there was from that, or maybe some kind of internal bleed. Or if it's nothing.
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Maybe I'll ask my midwife next time I see her.
 
#68 ·
These pictures are truly heartwarming. When I feel down I jus look at them and it really makes me feel better - I cry a bit for each little baby that is not with us any more - but I do feel better. hank you for sharing your pictures as I dont have any and would have loved to have them to look at.
 
#70 ·
Those little toes! Thank you.
 
#72 ·
Thank you all for sharing your pictures. Your babies were all so beautiful. It is so unbelievably sad that such perfect little ones couldn't stay with us. I miscarried too early for pictures, but we still named the baby. I don't have any ultrasound pictures, either. By the time I went to the hospital, my uterus was empty. My husband ordered a necklace for me, though. I know it isn't my little one, but I thought I'd share. The little charms are a silver heart, and a birth stone for the month we conceived, and the month the baby passed. I wish we had more to hold on to, but I'm glad to have something tangible.

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IMG_0122 by JJordanPhotography, on Flickr
 
#73 ·
camergirl - that is a lovely token and somehing I should concider as I was too sick to even look at my baby after I delivered her.
 
#74 ·
That's beautiful cameragirl! It is so necessary to have something tangible to hold on to. I'm sorry you didn't get to see your little one. ((hugs))
 
#75 ·
I love your necklace, cameragirl. And what an amazing picture of it!

I had a necklace made as well. Here's the page where I ordered it; it's the forget-me-not at the top (http://www.labelledame.com/miscarriage-infant-loss.html). Mine has a ruby crystal for July, as well as blue lace agate and rose quartz beads for healing (and because I had a boy and a girl). Oddly enough, my best friend had one made for me as well, though I never mentioned it to her. The one she made has two blue crystals for December, which is when they were due. I wear the one I made every day, but I'll sometimes swap it for the other when I'm wearing blue. I've found it to be very healing to have a tangible memorial for my babies.
 
#76 ·
I will own some of the views as mine. I check every few days, and I sit and cry with these babies. I like how Corgi wrote it, that it helps me to remember your lost little ones. Thank you for sharing.

I love the jewlery. I can't decide what to do, but I agree that something tangible means the world.
 
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