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#91 of 206 Old 09-11-2011, 11:50 AM
 
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Shell, he's lovely. Thank you for sharing him with us. I'm sorry we didn't get to chat last night but I'm glad Anna was there for you. She's a very special lady. =)

 

I wish I had been able to see my babies.

 

~Rose

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#92 of 206 Old 09-11-2011, 01:11 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Diana, thank you for sharing those pictures with us! Sophia is just beautiful and they did such a lovely job capturing it. I just love NILMDTS. I would be thrilled to post their pictures along with Shell's. Give me about five minutes and I'll have them up.

 

{I'm blushing over here folks - enough compliments! Helping other women is just what I do. You are all wonderful and supportive.}


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#93 of 206 Old 09-11-2011, 01:24 PM - Thread Starter
 
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OK, Diana's and Shell's pictures have been added in case anyone wants to go see them: http://lostinnocentsorthodox.blogspot.com/p/photographs.html 

 

If anyone else would be willing to share their picture(s) on my site, I would be honored to do so. I should note that full-term and close to full-term babies are on that page too - it's not just for first and second trimester babies.

 

Thank you Diana and Shelley.

grouphug.gif


Wife to DH for 17 years, homeschooling mom to 3 girls (15, 13, 12), 2 boys (11, 7), and (13 wk mc 4/10/11), (13 week mc 12/12/11). baby girl 10/31/13. (11 wk mc 6/25/14). (6 wk mc 10/26/14)
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#94 of 206 Old 09-11-2011, 01:54 PM
 
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I went and had a look at your site, Anna. :) I'm so happy that I could "help" and be a part of something bigger, through this whole ordeal.

 

Gemmine, thank you. I felt after viewing this thread so much in the last few days, that adding his picture as soon as I could would add to some of the closure.

 

Rose, I'm sorry too that we didn't get a chance to chat but now we can get to know one another on less stressful terms. I wish that you could have seen your babies too. Hugs


Mom to ds (2005) and dd (2008) both with autism ribbonrainbow.gif and a proud advocate here! Also mom to ds (m/c @ 12 weeks, Sept 11/2011) angel2.gif, and an early m/c (6 weeks) in 2004. Also now missing my rainbow baby angel1.gif who was due April 2013, but lost Nov 16 2012 at exactly 18 weeks.  Probably not trying again.

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#95 of 206 Old 09-11-2011, 04:41 PM
 
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Shell - I've been offline and just got back on to see how you were doing. What a beautiful little guy. I'm glad that you were able to have the vaginal birth that you wanted, and that you got to spend time with him. If you ever need to talk, I'm here. For me the next few weeks were surreal, and I took the time after my daughter went to bed to really just let it out. hug2.gif

Wife to DH, mama to bikenew.gif DD (7) ribboncesarean.gif, babyf.gif DS born 3/12 ribboncesarean.gif, and have had five early losses. angel1.gif
I have Stiff Person Syndrome and my other car is a candy apple red Rascal. Feel free to ask me about it. wheelchair.gif
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#96 of 206 Old 09-11-2011, 06:29 PM
 
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Thank you cameragirl :) I told my SO to expect ups and downs from me for a while, we had a little moment together not long ago, which was was really nice since he is very closed with his feelings. I just put the kids to bed, and my SO brought me a beer, probably not the best idea since alcohol thins your blood, but I can sure use one, so I'm having a bit.


Mom to ds (2005) and dd (2008) both with autism ribbonrainbow.gif and a proud advocate here! Also mom to ds (m/c @ 12 weeks, Sept 11/2011) angel2.gif, and an early m/c (6 weeks) in 2004. Also now missing my rainbow baby angel1.gif who was due April 2013, but lost Nov 16 2012 at exactly 18 weeks.  Probably not trying again.

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#97 of 206 Old 09-13-2011, 07:58 AM
 
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I just want to say thank you to all of you for sharing your photos. They are all beautiful hug2.gif


Mom to a beautiful little girl ~age 4~ and adorable little boy ~age 3~ and wife to my main squeeze luxlove.gif
Two babes in heaven MC 6/23/10 at 8 weeks, MC 2/24/11 at 8 weeks, MC 3/2012 at 8 weeks ~ Praying for a rainbow1284.gif baby ~

 

 

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#98 of 206 Old 09-15-2011, 08:34 PM
 
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In 1998 I also miscarried. I believed to be 13.5 weeks but was not sure as i had irregular periods at the time coming off the depo shot. I did look at my baby that i had at the hospital. born in the sac whole it was about the size and color of a plum. all i could distinguish was the umbilical cord. i really wished i could at least been told how old the baby was. now i will never know.


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#99 of 206 Old 09-15-2011, 08:54 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Lisa, I'm so sorry. You'll see your baby again one day. (((hugs)))


Wife to DH for 17 years, homeschooling mom to 3 girls (15, 13, 12), 2 boys (11, 7), and (13 wk mc 4/10/11), (13 week mc 12/12/11). baby girl 10/31/13. (11 wk mc 6/25/14). (6 wk mc 10/26/14)
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#100 of 206 Old 09-16-2011, 02:38 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by polishprinsezz View Post

In 1998 I also miscarried. I believed to be 13.5 weeks but was not sure as i had irregular periods at the time coming off the depo shot. I did look at my baby that i had at the hospital. born in the sac whole it was about the size and color of a plum. all i could distinguish was the umbilical cord. i really wished i could at least been told how old the baby was. now i will never know.


You were probably about right on the age of your baby. At twelve weeks, they are about the size of a plum. At thirteen weeks, they are about the length of a peach.

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#101 of 206 Old 09-16-2011, 07:41 PM
 
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i wished i would have opened the sac to see my baby but didnt know if i was allowed to. i had to ask the nurse for the bowl just so i could look.


Lisa wife to Ronne and mom to 4 kids ,Thomas 4/92, Amanda 9/99, Christopher 8/06 & Nathaniel 5/08.
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#102 of 206 Old 09-16-2011, 07:54 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Again, Lisa, I'm so sorry. I wish I could go back in time and have been your nurse.


Wife to DH for 17 years, homeschooling mom to 3 girls (15, 13, 12), 2 boys (11, 7), and (13 wk mc 4/10/11), (13 week mc 12/12/11). baby girl 10/31/13. (11 wk mc 6/25/14). (6 wk mc 10/26/14)
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#103 of 206 Old 09-16-2011, 08:46 PM
 
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i wished i would have opened the sac to see my baby but didnt know if i was allowed to. i had to ask the nurse for the bowl just so i could look.


I wish that the doctors and nurses would always make an effort to allow the parents to see their baby, to take pictures, and otherwise help the family acknowledge the little life that they lost. More hospitals are doing this now, but unfortunately many are still far behind in bereavement care.

I wish that I could reach out and hug you. The pain from losing a little one doesn't go away. hug2.gif

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#104 of 206 Old 09-28-2011, 03:35 PM
 
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So this isn't exactly a picture of Paisley, but Paisley is in it, if that makes any sense. I finally was able to do the memorial that I wanted to do yesterday. I lined a basket with soft minky material, put the t-shirt for Bug that I'd written "Big Brother" on in sharpie (how I announced to my husband), and the positive pregnancy test inside. I then wrapped Paisley (still inside the sac) in minky material and then put that inside a clear bag and put that in the basket too. I wrote a letter which also went into the basket. My husband dug a hole in a spot I can see from my bedroom window, just between a fruit tree and the back fence and overlooking the lake...and he prayed a little prayer just before we buried the basket. 

 

084.JPG

 

The letter I wrote to Paisley is also posted on my blog: http://raineydaye.blogspot.com/2011/09/letter-to-my-angel.html


Married to my computer geek since 11.04.06. Mama to our little dude Bug (born 7.14.09, peanut allergy, asthma) and our rainbow baby girl Sweetpea (born 4.14.13). Forever missing my angel babies--Riley, Paisley, and Waverley!!

Decluttering my life...

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#105 of 206 Old 09-28-2011, 04:23 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you for sharing Texan. I will go read the post.

 

You did a beautiful thing for your child.


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#106 of 206 Old 11-14-2011, 09:08 PM
 
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I only just found this thread, and I'm so happy to see it.  Thank you all for sharing your stories and pictures. My heart just aches for all of you.

 

I had three ultrasounds with my little one - which was unusual.  I had an early US at 7 weeks because I was so so sick and I was wondering about twins.  Then I had the regularly scheduled u/s at 10 weeks.  And then we had the final us at 13 weeks 5 days when we couldn't find the heartbeat.  As soon as I saw him, I saw that still hole where the beating heart should be, and I was just so shocked. He measured 13 weeks - I hate the idea that he'd been gone without me knowing it, and I like to think that he had only just died instead of 5 days earlier.  I guess that's silly.  I had a d&c 2 days later, which I regret.  So my u/s pictures mean so much to me now. I keep staring at them and all the jargon on the sides, hoping to find some clue about him (I don't know really know if he was a boy). I love all of his little fingers and toes.

 

I scanned mine months ago, but nobody ever wanted to see it before.  Thank you for this thread.  Here is my Nicholas:

nicholasanon.jpg
I bought a Christmas Cactus because I knew it would bloom each year around this time when I am remembering him. It is in full bloom now and quite lovely. I can't believe it's almost been a year.

IMG_2946.jpg
 


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& one in heaven

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#107 of 206 Old 11-15-2011, 01:15 AM
 
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Oh, how lovely! I love the idea of the Christmas cactus. I have roses and tulips by my babies' graves (plus some new tulips that appeared out of nowhere, and a brand new rosebush that I didn't plant, and is a deep, rich red compared to the pale cream and pinks of my other roses... go figure!)

 

I love the ultrasound pictures. My ultrasound pictures were so grainy and empty, I didn't ask for copies, but now I wish I had. Thank you for sharing these.

 

~Rose

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#108 of 206 Old 11-15-2011, 06:34 AM
 
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Thank you, all you Mama's that posted pic's. I've had 2 losses, but never got to see anything and was so upset over the whole ordeal that I didn't even think to ask :(  

This thread has provided me some closure and strength considering my losses!


Married to Michael and Mother of Jake 9, Jillianne 7, Jensen 5, Jacen 4. I've got severe osteoporosis, a fractured hip and chronic pain-so please be patient with me! Pagan,Crocheter,Reader,Homeschooler- that's me in a nutshell.

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#109 of 206 Old 11-15-2011, 07:05 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Lollie, that's one of the most beautiful ultrasound photos of a 13+ week baby I've ever seen. Seriously. He's just beautiful. And the Christmas cactus is a good idea. We planted an Easter lily by Innocent's grave because it will come up and bloom every year about the time he was born.

 

Rose, I can't remember if I mentioned it before, but you can ask for copies of your ultrasound pictures from your medical records.

 

yarngoddess, I'm glad this thread provided some closure. (((hugs)))


Wife to DH for 17 years, homeschooling mom to 3 girls (15, 13, 12), 2 boys (11, 7), and (13 wk mc 4/10/11), (13 week mc 12/12/11). baby girl 10/31/13. (11 wk mc 6/25/14). (6 wk mc 10/26/14)
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#110 of 206 Old 11-15-2011, 09:43 PM
 
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I thought I replied to this earlier, but it seems to have not posted...

 

Thanks, MAnna! That makes me feel like a proud, mama!

 

We buried Nicholas on our little farm where we're building our house (but we don't live there yet).  I'd love to plant something there for him, but I don't know much about winter plants.  I did plant daffodil bulbs that come up in March, and I'll probably add more bulbs this year.  Eventually, I'd like to make the whole area a garden.


Mama to two little ones,

& one in heaven

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#111 of 206 Old 11-16-2011, 07:57 PM
 
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Thank you for sharing, mamas.  I had a loss at 11 weeks last year and even though I gave birth again to a beautiful daughter I found myself on this forum tonight.  I never did see the baby I miscarried - I was alone, weak and sad, and I didn't have the courage to look.  I admire you all for taking such beautiful photos.  Thank you.  


Mama to DD September 2001 and DD April 2011 *Winner for most typos* eat.gif
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#112 of 206 Old 11-17-2011, 02:40 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Lollie, you ARE a proud mama! I remember how bizarre it was when I took my camera with me to the doctor's office the day after I delivered Innocent so I could show him off. For a moment I had the exact same proud feelings you have when you show off pictures of a living baby. It's the mama in us. (:

 

IdentityCrisisMama: I'm sorry you didn't have the support you needed at the time you delivered your baby. I hope this brought you a little comfort. ((hugs))


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#113 of 206 Old 12-03-2011, 10:29 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Boy, I didn't think I'd be back here this soon. Sigh.  I don't have a picture of my baby yet, but I wanted to post a picture of the gown I made for her. I wanted her to have something pretty. I know it's too big, but it will be better than too small and it's going to be hard enough to get it on without doing damage.

 

Maybe I'll be able to come back here and post a picture of her in it.

 

Gown and bonnet 009.JPG


Wife to DH for 17 years, homeschooling mom to 3 girls (15, 13, 12), 2 boys (11, 7), and (13 wk mc 4/10/11), (13 week mc 12/12/11). baby girl 10/31/13. (11 wk mc 6/25/14). (6 wk mc 10/26/14)
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#114 of 206 Old 12-03-2011, 10:58 PM
 
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The gown and bonnet are beautiful, Anna. Loose was better when I made gowns for the hospital. I pray that you're able to have her naturally, and that she can wear that beautiful little gown.

Wife to DH, mama to bikenew.gif DD (7) ribboncesarean.gif, babyf.gif DS born 3/12 ribboncesarean.gif, and have had five early losses. angel1.gif
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#115 of 206 Old 12-04-2011, 10:35 AM
 
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Beautiful gown and bonnet Matushka.  -thecountrymouse


 

Married to the man of my dreams since June 2000.  We are blessed with two magical children, a daughter born in the caul on June 2005 and a  rainbow1284.gifson born under water on June 2012.  

  

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#116 of 206 Old 12-04-2011, 05:40 PM
 
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Oh, MAnna, how beautiful.


Mama to two June bugs, ages 3 and 5, and a m/c at 8wks on 8/11/11.Rainbow Girl rainbow1284.gif 7/25/12

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#117 of 206 Old 12-05-2011, 11:57 AM
 
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Beautiful.


27. Married since December 2006. Trying to conceive #1 since November 2010. 1 loss in April 2011 (5 weeks). 

 

BFP on February 25th. Tentative due date: November 4th, 2012.

 

***4***8***12***16***20***24***28***32***36***wool.gif40**

 

It's a girl! love.gif

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#118 of 206 Old 12-07-2011, 09:58 AM
 
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MAnna - all of the little things you've made are so lovely and perfect, and just so sad.  I am glad your little one is being given such nice care.

 

I didn't know where else to post this, and I thought it was related.  The other night, the night before our baby's anniversary, I asked my DH if he wanted to see the US photos - he still hasn't, and it's been a year, and that made me kind of sad.  He said, it just seemed to sad and he didn't think he wanted to.  So I told him about this thread (he knows I come to these forums to talk, but I'd been too embarrassed to tell him about this specific thread), and how it meant so much to me that someone asked to see my pictures, and to be able to show them.  I said something like, "no one ever cared enough to ask before."  I was referring to my family, but of course DH was so hurt thinking I meant him, and said "how could you say that to me?"  I immediately apologized and said I didn't mean him.  He of course, did the work of burying our baby and praying over him, and in that way US pictures were really inconsequential.  I told him, "I'm so sorry. You lost him, too, and you can grieve anyway you want."  

 

I don't really have a point, it was just a moment for me to think about the way he feels instead of just myself. 


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#119 of 206 Old 12-07-2011, 10:03 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Lollie, thank you for sharing that. Men do grieve differently and different people grieve differently. My husband saw our baby but it hurt him deeply. He hasn't said this, I just remember the look on his stunned face. I had been looking forward to it but a mother's heart is different. I am trying to remind myself of this yet again, as he will of course be seeing the baby on Monday. The important thing is that you both value each other, that you value the sacrifice and acts of love your husband gave your child as he values the same in you. I know that not everyone will want to see my baby. In fact, not many people at all outside this board. But that's kind of why I started this thread. Mothers want to be proud of their babies and it is very, very painful when no one wants to look at the child of your heart. I'll be posting pictures of my newest baby next week.


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#120 of 206 Old 12-09-2011, 10:45 AM
 
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Some of you have seen her already on the loss & grief threads which is where I was given the link to this page.  My apologies if you've already read all about her.  I'm getting as much mileage out of this one picture as I possibly can.  I hate that I'll never see a new picture of her.   Though I have many other pictures this is the only one where she looks like she is still here.  In the others she looks a little grumpy to be leaving.  

 

Mira Joy 8.31.11

 

mjo bw crop copy3.jpg

 

Mira, as in Miracle.  Suitably "hippy" without being too obvious.  

 

This picture was taken 23 minutes after she was born and maybe 10 minutes before her heart stopped beating.  I wish I had felt her heartbeat.  She was 7 pounds 3 ounces and 4 days before her due date.  She is my only child.  

 

I am so sorry for all of you who are also missing your sweet little ones.  Peace and relief to you all, especially this time of year.  Though your arms may not be filled with your little one may your heart be full of love.  

 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[Matushka Anna- I'm so sorry you lost another little one!]


 

8.31.11. - 9.1.11  Mira Joy

My only child after 5 years of trying.    

                                            

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