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8K views 450 replies 32 participants last post by  emski4379 
#1 ·
May's Thread

This thread is for women who wish to conceive after a loss and need support, hope and healing. If you wish to be added to the thread or want to modify your info please make requests in bold. If you have a chart online either at TCOYF or at Fertility Friend and would like it linked with your name in the list, just post the link and add the icon in your post so I don't miss anyone.

Bring on the babies!!

Waiting to O:
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Bena

Revolting

Patience2013

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BaileyB

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Waiting to know:
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writinglove

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POAS list
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Oh Crap! I Don't Know What I'm Doing??!!?!??!?!?
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beingmommy

My baby is growing in my heart.
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Waiting with Special Circumstances
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Lisanne chartnew.gif

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Recent BFP's!
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June- writinglove
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, deportivo4, xerxellachartnew.gif, BetsyPage, jodieanneanton chartnew.gif

May - AmBam, autumngrey chartnew.gif , Adaline'sMama

April - stegenrae chartnew.gif, Harmony96 chartnew.gif chart1new.gif, beingmommy
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, thecoffeebean
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March -
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February - MegEliz
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, Gemmine, Wendlynnn chartnew.gif

January - Nelson, Vegan Princess, zubeldia

December -calebsmommy, coffeebean
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, Asling
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In our thoughts:
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RoseRedHoofbeats

foxadillo

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*In an effort to keep our header as up-to-date as possible, the threadkeeper reserves the right to move you to "In our thoughts" from "Waiting to O" and "Waiting to know" if you have not posted in this thread or in the previous thread. The threadkeeper may remove your name from the list if you have not posted to the thread within the previous three months. You are always welcome to rejoin the thread at any time.
 
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#5 ·
KristenO- You think of me while showering, huh?
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As for the no-pooing, I use baking soda like every 4th/5th day or so.... more often if I am feeling particularly greasy. I worked my way from every day baking soda in the beginning to less and less. As for the ACV... I found that I really don't need it. It is used mostly as a conditioner for softness/shine. On the days I don't baking soda my hair, I just wet it in the shower and massage my scalp as if I am washing it. Seems to work the natural oils down to the ends and makes all my hair nice and fresh feeling.
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Autumn- After that dip, my temps jumped back up.... I am trying not to think of that as an implantation dip (although it could have been with the crazy dreams I had at 9 and 10 DPO) and happily accepting that my LP was a good length!

Adaline's Mama- Wahoo!!! Yeay for BFP! Hope you are feeling well.

Team Viddy- Welcome. Though, I am sorry for the circumstances. Hope you are healing well... mind, body and spirit. It is such a journey. All that garbage about "waiting" to get pg again after a loss is just that.... GARBAGE! My 2 midwives and my friend(who just had a m/c)'s midwife have all said there is no increased risk of any badness after a loss... especially an early one.
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Sorry for the strong language... I just get irked when people start putting doctor conveinience (being able to know the due date based on a LMP is the typical reason they 'want' you to wait a month or two) before patient's needs.

Harmony- Hope all is well with you! You married a younger man, huh??? I am into old men myself (Picture Richard Gere...Even as a teenager I thought he was dreamy, Hugh Grant was my second... This is as opposed to the typical Justing Timberlake/leonardo DiCaprio infatuation that was going on at the same time). When I was 18 (when I started dating DH), he seemed so old at 24.... Now 6 years seems like nothing! lol!

Xerxella- You little chart stalker, you! I was not allowed to be online and am not cool enough to have a smartphone to cheat my way out of that vacation rule! I was dying to HPT when my LP went beyond 9 days... If it wasn't for the hassle of leaving the hotel (and having to admit to DH what I was up to), I sooo wold have. I should have thought ahead and brought some cheapies with me for some POAS fun!

Rae- So glad you have that doppler to offer you some peace of mind! Yeay for hitting 12 weeks soon!!! :)

Deportivo- Have been thinking about you...

Lisanne- DH coming home soon, no??

Coffeebean- I am glad you are feeling at peace about the future!

bbrandonsmom- How are your nut butters coming along? Any new nut combos work out for you?

CamoShades- Hope you and DH are finding some peace and counseling has been helpful thus far. How are you?

mamabutterfly- You were at disneyworld last week? Maybe we saw each other and didn't even know it!

Thebyr- Do you want me to move you to "In our thoughts" or keep you in "Waiting with Special Circumstances"? I am so sorry for you saddness. (((HUGS))) I hope you find the peace you need.

Deborah, BetsyPage, SKJ, writinglove, Bena,
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All other wonderful ladies- I had to read a weeks worth of things without a pen to keep track of persies. Forgive me if I left any of you out!

AFM- Ok, I'll admit it.... I went to Disney world!! WOO! After being totally resistant to the idea, DH finally talked me into it after the m/c. (I was using not wanting to travel while 6 months pg as an excuse.) It was my first time there and now, I have to say, I have been Disnified. That's what I am calling it.... getting excited to meet a mouse, looking on in awe as my girls met the "real princesses" and crying during the fireworks display at the Magic Kingdom... I am happy we went. Things started off great when we got to our hotel. It was overbooked and we were upgraded to a hotel that cost more than TRIPLE what we paid for! TRIPLE!!!
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I am still on cloud nine about the whole experience!

OK... onto what you really want to hear. I am afraid I may have made it seem better than it was, though. The Greatest news of all is that my LP made it into "normal range!" I have been charting since I was 18 (with a couple years off in there when I thought hormonal birth control was a good idea) and I have NEVER been in normal range for my LP. I HAD A 12 DAY LP!!!!!! YIPEEEEE! LONGEST EVER!!!! So, even though I am not pregnant when I thought I was (temp dip then spike, very vivid dreams at 9 dpo and 10 dpo, drooling
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in my sleep and nausea at 12dpo), I made it into normal range!!! That, to me, is heavenly. DH says that this month is our month... I said, "Why do you say that?" He says, "because I said it would take three months and it's been three months!" And off the record... He is never wrong.... hardly ever... it drives my batty.... but I am willing to think that since I am gonna have a new diva cup for next cycle, maybe some new mama cloth (for the first time ever) and I am the threadkeeper, maybe, just maybe, he will be right again.
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Happy June to all!!!
 
#7 ·
Just subbing in here :)

My body is still doing ridiculously weird things. I'm on CD16, with little to no sign of O. I used to be TEXTBOOK regular... and now, ever since my last miscarriage, things have been so weird. I'm getting so annoyed. I feel like I'm "too young" to be dealing with these fertility issues. Hopefully I can get in with my Dr soon... it's super hard to book an appointment for a physical 2 months in advance (meaning: pelvic exam. Blergh) when I have NO idea when AF is going to hit. I hate this.

I guess I can stay in "I don't know what I'm doing". DP and I are still on completely different PLANETS when it comes to the idea of TTC. Sigh.
 
#8 ·
Yes, Jodie, just a few more weeks :) Not sure what day yet, but I think I only have to make it 2 more weekends without him!

Dinsey is so much fun! I'm glad you had a great time. We've taken our kids to Disneyland twice and love it.
 
#9 ·
Jodie- Thanks for the thread! AFM- AF was horrid this month, but it is just about over.. I'm having really strange sleep patterns and can't quite get back to normal, which is not a good thing. OTOH, kitty is very cuddly early in the morning. Here is a cute kitty picture to make everyone smile: Caption is "No Dogs Allowed".

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#10 ·
TeamViddy- Just saw your post on the May thread. I did not use BC after my loss and I have now had 2 AFs. It's only been 2 1/2 months since I delivered the boys, so you will be fine!
 
#11 ·
BFN 11dpo. I don't think it's "too early". I'm pretty sure it's going to stay that way. fml.

It's June again. 1 year since our early loss. I was hoping I would be pregnant again by the due date, then by conception. Looks like neither. 1 year has gone by and still nothing. Everyone I know in real life and practically all of you here have gotten pregnant again fairly quickly after a loss. Not me.
 
#12 ·
Thank you for starting the June thread Jodie!

Adalines Mama! Hurray!

Deborah...your cat looked very much like ours. Unfortunatly, he passed away in march, the night before I found out our baby had passed too. Needless to say, it was a bad week! But I don`t want to dwell on that right now. I`m feeling good. Your picture made me smile!

Silamarila, I`m sorry. An anniversary such as this is no fun, and a BFN to add to it seems to just make it worse. I hope you can find something that can bring solace and make this month a little cheerier.

As for me, I haven`t given much sign of life here, (I`m finding it hard to keep up with all the action on this thread!!! I read as much as I can, though!). I`ve "graduated" from "I don`t know what I`m doing" to "waiting to know". I o'ed sometime this weekend. DP and I were busy busy. I forgot what it`s like to DTD with the sole intention of conceiving! (the last pregnancy was an oopsy one, but a good oopsy!!)
 
#13 ·
Sila- I am so sorry.
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It just isn't fair.

Lisanne- You must be getting excited!

Jodie- Yay for a long LP!! That is great! This is your month; I am certain of it.
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Thanks for asking about us. I am sort of following along here, but I'm trying to stay away somewhat because I still have a major desire for another child, but I don't know if it will ever be in the cards for us. DH and I are doing MUCH better than we were a few weeks ago. I am so thankful he has been willing to do Christian counseling, and that we've joined a new church full of young people. I feel like he is letting go of his anger and that he may be forgiving me a little more every day. We'll see what happens over time, but I am hopeful we will be better than ever when we fully come out of this.

I had a bad moment one day last week, though. DD1 is 4, and she was talking about who named her and who named DD2. Then she said, "Mom, why did you only want two kids? Don't you want three?" (I've never talked with her about having another baby.) It broke my heart, and I started crying. We were driving, so I was able to hide it from her, but that hit hard. I would be close to 19 weeks at this point if I hadn't had a miscarriage in February/March. I hate it when I think about that. I always thought I'd pregnant again by this point, and now I don't know if I ever will be again.
 
#14 ·
Hey Sila - I'm still here. hhmmmm Somehow, I don't think that's something to be proud of. I really do think that within the next 5 years I'll get pg. It's just GOT to happen, right? Or at least one of us will be pg. I didn't realize until I looked that I have now been on this thread for over a year now. Does that get me a nice watch or something?

camo - hugs. My kids are starting to look around and ask for a baby too. It's hard. I want to shout, "I'm trying!!!!!!" But, I guess that'd be too much info. DD has a CareBear who asks "What's your secret wish?" And, she went real close to me and whispered, "Mommy, what's YOUR secret wish?" I paused and then said, "I want a baby." She just glowed and I choked back the tears.

Bena - Good luck. May this past weekend have been a fruitful one.

lisanne - WWEEEEEEEEEEEE for dh coming home soon!!!!!!!!!!! 2 more weekends. You can make it!!!!

jodie - Yeah for a good lp!!!!!!!!!! Isn't Disney wonderful? I know we're not supposed to like all the commercialism, but there really IS something magical about it all and it's so much fun to get swept up in it. Wow, and a hotel for 3x's the cost! That's a great upgrade!

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Hello all! To everyone I missed I love you all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (OK, love may be too strong, but "I have strong positive feelings for you" just doesn't feel as warm and squishy.

AFM -
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Nothing new. cd10. I start OPKs tonight. Yeah for getting to pee on something.
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#15 ·
Camo---that is hard. I get that alot, with DD being 2.5 yrs; people seem to just assume it`s ok to ask about when we`re getting her a sibling. I feel alot of pressure from society not to have an only child, and that makes a loss even harder to bear, I find.

One thing I have definitely learned in the last several weeks is NOT to think about where you`d be in your pregancy if.... It`s the "what ifs" that are the hardest, I find.
 
#16 ·
Bena- I'm glad he made you smile. If you ever want more Leo pictures, let me know and I'll post them. He's 7 1/2 and very spry for his age.
 
#17 ·
Just wanted to subscribe
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AF came today. Haven't decided if I want to chart or not this month. Taking last month off really helped me not obsess... so much so that I might love another month of it. I'm still having problems accepting that its not happening right away (since every other pregnancy was so easy). I always thought people conceived more quickly after a D&C which is why I opted for one... but a friend was telling me thats not always true... so I'm hoping maybe thats the reason this is taking awhile, and not that my insides are going to be a barren desert forever.
 
#18 ·
Sila- I have been feeling kinda bitter lately. I just wanted to let you know, I have been thinking that too. Most people haveing losses get pregnant again shortly after. Before I had the chemical pregnancy it was two-half yrs. after previous loss and that was 6mths ago now. My SIL which I don't like at all is about to give birth to FIL'S first grandchild and I got pregnant the first time almost four yrs ago. Also I have no children. Out of three pregnancies and almost four years I have zero children. I know it sucks. Big time. Now even though I am going to have his family freak out at me, I am declining to go to her shower on Sunday. Which I am dreading.
 
#19 ·
Now that SIL is due July 27th and I am not pregnant. Havn't even gotten the chance to be pregnant. I am bitter, angry and disappointed. Worse of all disappointed at DH's family and him for how they have handled the entire situation.Yeah, I am pretty much at a bitter stage that is consuming me. I feel like it is just unfair. SIL has 28 people going to her baby shower, there are tuns of things bought on her registry. I am not playing games and sitting on the couch with that many women that not only would not know how I feel, but would not even have the common sense to be sensitive to my feelings. I know one of them would offend me during that day and I refuse to put myself through that.

Thats it. Thats were I am at bitter, angry and I have that ugly jealousy that doesn't go away. The grief has consumed me. The pain has gotten the better of me. I just feel like I can't do this anymore. I know I wasn't meant to not have children, why have I been tortured with this, with all of it!
 
#20 ·
hi all,

i am very tentatively reporting a bfp. you could have knocked me over with a feather this morning when i saw it on the digi FRER.
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yesterday i drowned the poor embryo in caffeine thinking i was out. jodie, i'm definitely not ready to be moved yet.

one hour at a time.

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#22 ·
Also, lots of (((hugs))) to Sila, deportivo, Xerxella, Team Viddy, Lisanne, Deborah, Bena, Jello and superbeams. I know a lot of us are having a hard time right now, especially if we've been here for a long time. I'm thinking of all of you and sending lots of love your way.
 
#23 ·
writing love - What the Fuck!!!!!??????!?!?! Where'd that come from????!?!?!?!?! You can't just jump out of the bushes with your BFP!!!!! What dpo are you???? Jeeperes, this is wonderful!!!! I'm so happy for you! What's the story? Come on. Give us some hope!
 
#24 ·
depo - I'm so sorry you're hurting. I hope the doc's find some answers for you soon.
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And, I'm really, really sorry dh's family is such a bunch of jackasses.
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superbeans - Welcome. I'm so sorry for your loss, but I'm glad you've found your way to us.

coffee - How are you doing? I'm thinking about you and I hope you're holding up through it all.
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#25 ·
X - Yeah I think you got your bfp a days after I joined last year? We're the only ones that are still here that haven't gotten another one yet :( I'll be calling it quits if I'm not pg in the next 5 yrs.

Depo - So sorry. I do have one child (which more and more every day I wonder how) and I cannot imagine your pain.

Congrats writinglove! I hope like you that I'm wrong and I end up not being out. doubt it.

coffee - Thanks. I forgot to mention, feel free to join on the IF thread. Especially if you are considering donor sperm. I don't think there is anyone currently using donor sperm (maybe on the IVF thread though) but many of us there have put a lot of research into things "just in case" and I'm sure you could learn a few things.

AFM - I just feel angry...
 
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