January Waiting to TTC: Special Circumstances - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 105 Old 12-31-2012, 06:57 AM - Thread Starter
 
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This is a support thread for those of us who are waiting to try to conceive after a loss. There are many different reasons for why we are waiting- physical, emotional, financial and other special circumstances. Some women are only here for a few weeks after a loss and others are here for many, many months. So whatever your reason or however long your stay, Welcome!

 

Waiting to TTC:

January

February

March

April
pattimomma

May
unuselyriver

Not really Sure shrug.gif
Xerxella
BetsyPage
julieven
aj_18

Off to TTC or Oh WOW I got my BFP joy.gif
J and Js Mommy - BFP
Revolting  9 2012- Off to TTC
Patience2013 11 2012 - Off to TTC
SuzieSmiles 11 2012 - Off to TTC
BeagleSmuggler 11 2012 - Off to TTC
deborahbgkelly 12 2012 - BFP
Thebyr 12 2012 - BFP

Mamacatsbaby 12 2012 - Off to TTC


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#2 of 105 Old 12-31-2012, 07:05 AM - Thread Starter
 
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It's New Year's Eve! Does anybody have any goals for 2013 they would like to share?

 

I am planning to:

1. Pass the professional geologist license exam

2. Publish a peer reviewed journal article

3. Get out of (most of) my debt

4. Eat healthier and exercise more (yeah, I say that every year)

5. Spend more time outdoors with family

 

Things I am hoping for:

1. My special needs son starts a new educational program January 7th and I hope to see great improvement this year.

2. I hope my DH's depression improves.

3. Hoping to graduate to TTC come April!
 


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#3 of 105 Old 12-31-2012, 11:08 AM
 
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here is mine get done with law school and have a health year with out a ton of doctors visits and have a health baby


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#4 of 105 Old 12-31-2012, 11:10 AM
 
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well af is still not here should have been here on 12/26/12  


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#5 of 105 Old 12-31-2012, 03:49 PM - Thread Starter
 
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here is mine get done with law school and have a health year with out a ton of doctors visits and have a health baby

 

Quote:
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well af is still not here should have been here on 12/26/12  


How close are you to finishing law school? I live in GA, at which university do you study? Go ahead and test! smile.gif The suspense is driving me crazy.


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#6 of 105 Old 12-31-2012, 05:41 PM
 
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i am doing it  online at blackstone edu  which i should be done with it by the end of next year i hope i think i will get a test tomorrow and check i guess it would not hurt to see if it say yes or no for now it looks like we are the only two wait but i mite not be who knows i guess i will know tomorrow


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#7 of 105 Old 01-01-2013, 06:00 AM
 
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omg i think i am it is a very faint line but it is there guess i need to call ob omg i don't what to do

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#8 of 105 Old 01-01-2013, 06:46 AM - Thread Starter
 
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omg i think i am it is a very faint line but it is there guess i need to call ob omg i don't what to do


Congrats! You need to get in your doctor's office ASAP, with all the other health issues you have had recently you could be at very high risk for a loss. Let me know what the doc says. Let me know when you want to be moved to BFP smile.gif


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#9 of 105 Old 01-01-2013, 07:20 AM
 
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My kids are going nut.gif but I just had to pop in and say joy.gifunusely! I second pattimomma, get thee to a doc's office pronto! More later, I'm being attacked with Hot Wheel Lego-type things horrors.gif .

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#10 of 105 Old 01-01-2013, 07:47 AM
 
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ok thanks girls will have to call them wednesday cause they are not open today i allready called all my doctors and no one is open but did talk to the on call ob and she told me to call back on wednesday to make appt for monday which i really dont want to wait that long i guess i will know more then and oh my god i was not going to try again till may i guess god did not want to wait till then


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#11 of 105 Old 01-01-2013, 09:45 AM
 
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joy.gifCongrats unuselyriver! Hope you're able to get an appointment soon, please keep us posted!! And, be sure to take good care of yourself!!!

 

Happy New Year everyone, hope 2013 will be a grrrrrrrrrreat year for all of us!!!! grouphug.gif


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#12 of 105 Old 01-01-2013, 09:49 AM
 
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thanks suzie i feel so nerves now was not nerves till i tested now it like i want in to the docs to make sure everything is ok


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#13 of 105 Old 01-01-2013, 10:12 AM
 
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Happy NEW YEAR LADIES!!!!!! (I popped in to sub) THanks for taking over Pattimomma! Hopefully the luck of the threadkeeper will find you and give you that BFP that first month you start trying. fingersx.gif

 

Congrats Unusely! Keep us posted!

 

Anyone do anything fun for NYE?


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#14 of 105 Old 01-01-2013, 11:42 AM
 
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thanks thebyr when is your due date


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#15 of 105 Old 01-01-2013, 01:32 PM
 
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Subbing for stalking- Unusely- Yay! Congrats. Can you find a free clinic that will do a blood test for you so you don't have to wait that long? Thebyr- See my response on the HH&C thread to your NYE question.


Mama to my twin butterfly boys, Alan and Bruce, who passed away at 22 weeks gestation (3/24/12): Forever in Our Hearts. Our rainbow baby girl, my little bud of Hope,  joined our butterfly boys and Grandma Jan 1/31/13 at 9 weeks gestation. Love you so much. Next step: triadadopt.jpg
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#16 of 105 Old 01-01-2013, 01:42 PM
 
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i am going to try and get the order for the blood test on wednesday from my ob and go get it done i wish i could today but the doc offices are close 


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#17 of 105 Old 01-01-2013, 02:09 PM
 
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EDD is 9/9/13 but my MFM already told me I can't go pat 38 weeks - so really Late August.. but I'm gonna stick with September. lol


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#18 of 105 Old 01-01-2013, 02:10 PM
 
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hey that is cool cause i never go to my due date i did a due date calculator and it said 9/7/13


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#19 of 105 Old 01-01-2013, 02:45 PM
 
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I haven't seen the MFM yet, but I imagine I won't be able to go past 39.


Mama to my twin butterfly boys, Alan and Bruce, who passed away at 22 weeks gestation (3/24/12): Forever in Our Hearts. Our rainbow baby girl, my little bud of Hope,  joined our butterfly boys and Grandma Jan 1/31/13 at 9 weeks gestation. Love you so much. Next step: triadadopt.jpg
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Which means I'd also be August. I like September though.


Mama to my twin butterfly boys, Alan and Bruce, who passed away at 22 weeks gestation (3/24/12): Forever in Our Hearts. Our rainbow baby girl, my little bud of Hope,  joined our butterfly boys and Grandma Jan 1/31/13 at 9 weeks gestation. Love you so much. Next step: triadadopt.jpg
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#21 of 105 Old 01-01-2013, 03:37 PM
 
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me too but i know me get to that date wont happen all my babies did not come on there due dates my boys where two moths early and my dd was an over due


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#22 of 105 Old 01-01-2013, 04:19 PM
 
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pattimomma: some of my biggest plans include starting doula training this year. I'm so excited that I may have found someone to apprentice with! Your 2013 is looking nice and full. I think April will be here before you know it smile.gif .

Thebyr: I was talking a little about our NYE on the HHAC thread. We just hung out at home smile.gif .

unusely: I hope you're able to see someone soon and will be able to take some of the edge off the nerves hug.gif .

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#23 of 105 Old 01-02-2013, 07:22 AM
 
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well this suck i cant get in to the ob till tuesday and my other doc told me to call the ob so yeah i am not happy about that


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#24 of 105 Old 01-02-2013, 12:56 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Mamacatsbaby - I completed doula training years ago, it was a fun process. I no longer do any work as a doula other than attend friends' births and I do that for free. You sound really excited about it. After a while I just got tired of it, mostly due to working in hospitals. The last birth I attended was my sister's, October 20, 2011. Are you going to be in hospitals, birth centers or homes?

 

Unusely - I hope that Tuesday brings good news!

 

Mommas due in August / September - I have one DD born 8/24/97 and another 8/25/03. My due dates were Labor Day LOL. I love having babies that time of year. I live in the SE USA and it gets hot but I love maternity sun dresses, so much more comfortable than winter maternity clothes!

 

AFM - My April TTC wait is something that I hope I can convince DH about. When I had my loss in March 2012, he agreed to TTC January 2013. I decided not to even bring it up in December 2012 because I figured we needed to transition our special needs son to his new educational program first and DH was being verbal about being on the fence about having another one. Well now DH is talking about me trying to project my cycle through July so that we can make our vacation plans around my AF ( I would like to be pregnant around then). Then on another note, I was cleaning out our DD (20 months old, our youngest) clothes of things that no longer fit. I said to him should I donate these baby clothes or save them. He says save them. I don't know why I would save them unless we are going to have another baby. It feels like a lot of mixed messages and I am scared to bring it up because I think he will say he is on the fence again. He wasn't happy when we had our last surprise pregnancy and some of those issues still hurt. He absolutely adores our DD though.


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#25 of 105 Old 01-02-2013, 03:44 PM
 
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pattimomma: I plan to mostly focus on HB but best laid plans and all wink1.gif . I am indeed excited! This is something I've been wanting to do for a while and the right circumstances have now presented themselves I believe so here we go smile.gif . I've wanted to begin midwifery training for quite some time now as well but I won't take that leap until my children are much older so, ce'st la vie; I'm good with waiting. Doula work seems like it would be a great place to start at the place I'm at in my life. One of the main things I've had to meditate on is separating my choices/convictions from those of the mommies I would be supporting. It's going to be an interesting/fun/frustrating/crazy ride methinks!

Gah! Not the ambivalence duh.gif . That's such a difficult thing to face in a partnership about something as huge as having another child. DH would go through periods of "Weeell, maybe..." then "Yeah, let's do it!" then "Oh hell no, never again!" While I've been stressed and exhausted and up to my eyeballs in nuttiness with my kids I've always just known that I wasn't done. I've had times where I've thought "Hmmm, IDK, I'm pretty worn out! Can I do another?" but it's always felt like what you here moms say, that someone was missing. And it gave me a good amount of anxiety at times when DH and I would be at odds about having more children. It was really important for us to keep communication open about the subject and we would throw our thoughts and feelings out there ever so often and just lay it out there. Anyway, all that's just to say that I think the way men work it out just looks a little differently than the way we do it a lot of times. I sure hope he swings back into the "Let's go for it!" camp and stays there! If he changed his mind and was on board with TTC again earlier than April do you think you would be ready for that? I hate mixed messages hug.gif .

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#26 of 105 Old 01-03-2013, 07:10 AM
 
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Pattimomma - you're so strong. Just keep hanging in there - it has GOT to pay off eventually. It sounds like deep down your DH still wants another. I bet he just needs some time to work through what he's dealing with right now. I know this is the thread of ultimate patience. Maybe you just need a little more and BAM he'll be ready. Easier said than done I know.

 

Good for you two for doing Doula training. Maybe after I have a baby - I'd like to do something like that... I mean - I will have had ONE natural birth even though it's not a possibility for me now. I think I'd like to experience some non-traumatic natural birth and live vicariously through some mama's that way. You've given me another bucketlist item. Thanks ladies. lol


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#27 of 105 Old 01-03-2013, 08:04 AM - Thread Starter
 
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 One of the main things I've had to meditate on is separating my choices/convictions from those of the mommies I would be supporting. This is really challenging. One of the doulas I worked with as a back up called me one night because she was at a birth (the birth of her grandson) and she was concerned that the mother wanted to go forward with an induction instead of waiting for labor to progress naturally. I talked to the momma on the phone and then back to my doula friend. I said "it's her birth, it's what she wants, I know that neither of us would choose it but it is not our choice and we are there to support the mother no matter the choices she makes. My doula friend thanked me over and over, she said "yes, I was so caught up in the moment I couldn't remember that". With all that said I was a doula to a woman who had a c-section. She chose me instead of her husband or her mother to go in with her. I held her had, wiped away her tears and talked to her through the procedure. She was so terrified. I actually believe that this woman needed my support through her c-section more than any woman I had helped through a natural birth. She was very grateful that I had been there to reassure her.
Gah! Not the ambivalence duh.gif . That's such a difficult thing to face in a partnership about something as huge as having another child. DH would go through periods of "Weeell, maybe..." then "Yeah, let's do it!" then "Oh hell no, never again!" While I've been stressed and exhausted and up to my eyeballs in nuttiness with my kids I've always just known that I wasn't done. I've had times where I've thought "Hmmm, IDK, I'm pretty worn out! Can I do another?" but it's always felt like what you here moms say, that someone was missing. And it gave me a good amount of anxiety at times when DH and I would be at odds about having more children. It was really important for us to keep communication open about the subject and we would throw our thoughts and feelings out there ever so often and just lay it out there. Anyway, all that's just to say that I think the way men work it out just looks a little differently than the way we do it a lot of times. I sure hope he swings back into the "Let's go for it!" camp and stays there! If he changed his mind and was on board with TTC again earlier than April do you think you would be ready for that? I hate mixed messages hug.gif . I would jump on it if he said let's go ahead. All my babies have been surprise babies, this would be my first planned one!

 

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Pattimomma - you're so strong. Just keep hanging in there - it has GOT to pay off eventually. It sounds like deep down your DH still wants another. I bet he just needs some time to work through what he's dealing with right now. I know this is the thread of ultimate patience. Maybe you just need a little more and BAM he'll be ready. Easier said than done I know.

 

Good for you two for doing Doula training. Maybe after I have a baby - I'd like to do something like that... I mean - I will have had ONE natural birth even though it's not a possibility for me now. I think I'd like to experience some non-traumatic natural birth and live vicariously through some mama's that way. You've given me another bucketlist item. Thanks ladies. lol

Thanks for the waiting support Thebyr. If you don't mind my asking, why do you have to have a c-section? Is it something to do with the surgery you had?


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#28 of 105 Old 01-03-2013, 09:13 AM
 
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pattimomma - just sending some good vibes and support your way. Sorry that DH is not on the same page right now, it's so hard to have patience and to try to understand what is going on in someone else's mind (even the person closest to you). He does sound like he wants another but is still a little unsure, frustrating getting the back and forth "yes" and "no". And, I know it may be difficult... but try to give him a little more time to come around before you discuss it again (unless he brings it up), you have a few months before you really need to press the issue with him, right? I really hope that he turns around and gets on board when you are ready. hug2.gif


Me (S) + my soulmate (D), together for 12 years. Joyfully added our sweet little boy, Gabriel, born at home on 9/21/13. We have 2 good dog2.gif  + 4 crazy cat.gif 
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#29 of 105 Old 01-03-2013, 09:51 AM
 
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Yes pattimomma. It's all because of the surgery. My biggest fibroid was embedded in the fundal part of my uterus so my incision is right where my uterus will stretch the most. Active labor could cause uterine rupture. Could I be totally fine? Sure. Am I gonna take that chance? Nope. I got the MFM to agree to wait until 38 weeks instead of 36. Small battles. Lol.

Mommy to an amazing rainbow1284.gif baby boy 8.27.13
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#30 of 105 Old 01-03-2013, 11:27 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Thebyr View Post

Yes pattimomma. It's all because of the surgery. My biggest fibroid was embedded in the fundal part of my uterus so my incision is right where my uterus will stretch the most. Active labor could cause uterine rupture. Could I be totally fine? Sure. Am I gonna take that chance? Nope. I got the MFM to agree to wait until 38 weeks instead of 36. Small battles. Lol.


Are you on Facebook? The skeptical mother has a lot of beautiful c-section photos. http://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Skeptical-Mother/322009484509251

http://theskepticalmother.blogspot.com/


~Patti~ rainbow1284.gifMomma to three girls and three boys chicken3.gif, First mother to one girl triadadopt.jpg

Certified, card carrying member of the IEP Binder Clubkid.gif  

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