Hope, Healing and Conceiving - June 2014
Continued from the Hope, Healing and Conceiving - May 2014 thread.
This thread is meant for anyone who wishes to conceive after a loss or is planning to conceive and/or needs support with healing after a loss. In other words, you don't necessarily have to be actively TTC in order to post here.
If you'd like to be added to the thread or want to change your information, please make requests in bold or PM me. If you have an online chart (TCOYF, Fertlility Friend) and would like it linked with your name on the list, post the link and add the icon in your post.
:goodvibes Healing and fertile vibes all around!
~ Waiting to O ~ :W
~ Waiting to Know ~ :+
~ Waiting to Adopt ~ http://files.mothering.com/images/sm...ionheart-1.gif
~ Oh Crumbs! I Don't Know What I'm Doing?! ~ http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/nut.gif
~ Waiting with Special Circumstances ~ :meditate
~ Recent BFPs! ~ http://files.mothering.com/images/sm...ainbow1284.gif
May- liladancing http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/chartnew.gif
April - LilyTiger, NSmomtobe http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/chartnew.gif, LaylasMommy2011, lmevans
March - granolamommie, Harmony96 http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/chartnew.gif
February - Kaliakra, jesepumpkin, mamacatsbaby http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/candle.gif, rosie2727 http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/candle.gif, wengrin
January - RainbowAsylum, Right of Passage
December - taichimom http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/chartnew.gif
November - NSmomtobe http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/candle.gif, Arabelle http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/candle.gif, piratemere
October - MommatoGray http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/chartnew.gif, OSTC
September - eazar http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/chartnew.gif, Jesepumpkin http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/candle.gif
~ In Our Thoughts ~ http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/blowkiss.gif
(If you're in this group, we haven't heard from you in a while. Stop by and give us an update if you can.)
Wow, that was fast! Thanks for the new thread Wilhelmina! I'm stumped on why Anna's chart link is fine but the others in the BFP section seem messed up? Sorry not to be more help.
Yes, thanks Wilhelmina for starting the June thread!
@rosie , I'm so sorry you are going through a rough patch with DH but it's great that he's back on board with you! It can't be easy timing with those the faint BFPs. I'm so sorry to learn about your struggles. Has AF shown up or has the BFP gotten darker? (Hoping for the latter!!)
Thanks for your take on waiting & charting. I may try to temp a bit until I normalize again (ha!) & then ease off & try OPKs, which I never tried before. @Wilhelmina , Glad your spotting seems to be done! And it's great that acupuncture is better without the blanket--I'm usually ok with the blanket but it's bothersome if it's not placed just perfectly. Which reminds me--I need to make an appointment for acupuncture as I haven't been yet (since I got pregnant)--I think it'd be very helpful & if we can afford it I'd like to continue once it get pregnant again (assuming I do)--$$ is the only reason I had to stop.
Thanks for suggesting the Sitting Moon book. I will check it out. As for the book I posted about, I still haven't gotten it but the reviews on Amazon make it seem like he suggests some more "extreme" cleansing/detox methods than I expected. My doctor must have told me that these weren't necessary but I'll check with her--all along she's led me to believe that the body has its own powerful detoxing organs & that extreme cleansed aren't necessary. I tend to agree with her (or I want to agree with her!). That said, if you have suggestions for gentle cleansing, I'd love to hear them!
As for what to eat... I'm working on that every day! I deal with grief by eating & drinking too much but I've been eating a mostly paleo (have been on SCD/GAPS for over 6 months to heal leaky gut & rebuild nutrition stores), almost exclusively non-processed diet for over a year. It's been a long process for me but I'm definitely back sliding since my miscarriage & with the move we've been eating out a lot. I still feel overall I'm doing 10 times better than when I was pregnant with my son so I'm pretty happy. And I know I'll cut out the caffeine & alcohol & crap very soon. Been reading Nina Planck's book on nutrition for fertility & pregnancy & I LOVE it. It makes a lot of sense & I'm trying to follow her basic guidelines. I focus on good fats & iron (so chicken liver, seafood). I also love green smoothies! You can add coconut oil to your smoothies--I'm guessing good fats would be important for you!
Enjoy the spa with DH!
@ememers , Sorry you had a hard time at the beach but I'm hoping the good outweighed the bad. I'm crossing my fingers your symptoms are the real deal!
And I'm so sorry to learn more about your losses. I can't imagine. Many hugs your way.
It's interesting what your midwife said about waiting. I wonder--the point about getting back to pre-pregnancy weight makes some intuitive sense to me. But I just can't get over how varied the opinions are on the topic (from one cycle to a year!). Maybe my midwife told me just one cycle because she knew my particular situation (m/c at 11 wks, fetus stopped growing at 6 wks). I am very confused. I actually feel healthier than I have in a long while & I'm anxious to be pg again, but I obviously don't want to jump the gun. But it makes sense what you said re. docs just going with a longer wait to be on the safe side rather than basing their times on any particular research.
@MsBe , thanks so much for the advice re. charting. I love your idea about charting "other" important things, like exercise, meditation, etc. Do you use FF for that? Strangely, tracking more life stuff also sounds like a more relaxed way to go about charting (focusing on well being as opposed to JUST conception). I might try tracking my temp for a bit--I'm just curious where it's at now that I'm almost done with m/c bleeding.
I also like your ideas for "gentle cleansing" & I think I'll try that dandelion tea Wilhelmina suggested too!
AFM, I had a restorative weekend. Still sad but almost feeling like myself at times. Trying to keep positive, ladies! For all of us!
How are you feeling today?
I've been feeling fine, except that my body is still not totally in balance (not that it has ever really been, come to think of it) and hasn't fully restored after the miscarriage. For example, now (pretty much mid cycle) I'm experiencing very weak and dull lower abdomen pain that projects into my lower back that I usually get before/with my period - actually, it's almost like the weakest and tiniest of contractions. This has been going on in on and off way for a few days now even though I'm sure I'm not about to get my period (plus it's not time yet). Perhaps it's my uterus returning to its proper size? Who knows … Anyone else experienced that?
t2009 - Since your pregnancy really ended in week 6, I don't think you necessarily need to wait 3 full months like I will. Mine ended in week 13 (12+2) and was discovered in week 14, so that is very different, I think. I feel that if the pregnancy was almost 3 months along, I should wait at least three months to start trying. If I were you, I'd give it at least one full cycle with a period and all that jazz and then see how you feel.
But then there is the age factor … I read an article about the Scottish study and some doctor in it expressed an opinion that women that are 30+ years old, should not wait longer than 6 months as their fertility and chances of miscarriages goes up just thanks to their age … That's scary, but I guess it's at least statistically true … That has influenced my opinion to not wait full 6 months like my healer friend and TCM practitioner suggested. Even though I'm only in my early 30's, it still puts me in the 30+ category and I did originally plan to be done with childbearing by 30 - so yet another reason to start to TTC sooner than later. Yeah, making plans has never been my strong suit. :laugh:
I also think, that summer is absolutely the best time to become pregnant - I did with my daughter - as one has the biggest choice of healthy nutritious food and sunshine, everyone is more relaxed, happier, etc., so I really don't want to wait for fall to start TTC, that would be counterintuitive, for me at least. It's definitely a huge difference here in Sweden between spring/summer and fall/winter. I'm sure the difference in seasons is not so strongly felt in other parts of the world.
I am really just thinking out loud here, ladies, so take it with a grain of salt :grin:
Oh, btw, I bought a huge jar of whole food prenatal vitamins with folate! Yay! It's a two-month supply, so I'm thinking about starting to take them around now, so that by the time we start TTC, my body will have re-stocked on all that good stuff :smile: If I get pregnant immediately (wishful thinking, haha), I know I won't be able to take any vitamins during my first trimester - I can hardly eat during the first trimester, so I think it might be a good idea to rebuild my stores pre-pregnancy.
I hope you are all doing well! Please stop by and say hi and update us on what is going on with you! :x
Wilhelmina- I would definitely start the prenatal now. It was summer when I conceived DS. I had really wanted to fall pregnant with #2 in the fall/winter because spring is such a busy time and 1st trimester fatigue is always a real issue with me, and I was hoping to experience pregnancy at a different time of year. Of course now I just want to experience pregnancy again, and get #2 here already, so I don't much care anymore about timing!
t2009- I've been trying to do the lots of good fats thing too. Yum, I love coconut oil! DH cut out grains and sugar in December and lost 25 lbs in 3 months going with an eat fat to lose fat approach. So far it hasn't worked that way for me (but I've been way less diligent in cutting the carbs) and I'd kinda like to lose about ten lbs to get back to my pre-preggo weight.
AF showed this morning so I am Waiting to O again. In-laws are coming up on Saturday so at least they will be gone again by the time we are back in BD season. My sister called last night and asked me if I'd do a half-marathon with her around Labor Day. I've never run more than 5 miles. Ever. In my life. But I need a goal to work towards if I am gonna get myself out on the roads again so I am considering it. It might also give me a little something extra to work on not directly TTC related. She said we could do it as a relay if I didn't think I could handle the whole thing.
*For some reason this thread is not showing up in my subscriptions. Is there a special way that I have to subscribe besides just posting now???
MsBe - I'm a little miffed about the new super-expensive prenatal I just bought … when I looked under 'folate,' it actually says: broccoli+pteroylmonoglutamic acid. Now, what am I supposed to think? I looked it up and the pteroylmonoglutamic acid is folic acid, not folate … I already opened it and took a first dose today, so I'm just going to continue taking it … The brand I have is called Innate Response Formulas Baby&Me and it's supposedly whole-food based. I guess it can't hurt …
Half marathon sounds like a great challenge!!! I wish I had gotten into running again … but so far, I'm just too lazy. I'm happy about doing 10 sun salutations this morning :D Later on I'm riding my bike to work … That's about as much exercise I get on average. I need to push myself more and I'm planning to!
Good luck with BD and all that jazz! :grin:
Not sure about the subscription, but don't think all the kinks have been worked out yet with the new version … I, for example, can't change my avatar picture, for some reason.
wilhelmina: yes, thanks for getting the thread up quickly! Not sure I've felt those pains/aches. My newest thing is a achiness radiating down the backs of my legs. Not sure if it's cause of cramps, sore hamstrings, or both. It was bad last night! Sucks about your new prenatals. I'd start them now too. You never know when something could happen and you'd want those folate stores.
t2009: I would think one full cycle would be sufficient. Do you use fertility friend? I love it....if you get the VIP membership (watch for deals and you can get a year for $25), you can chart everything from mood, exercise, energy level, libido, and on and on! It will help you determine other patterns. Like I suspected I O'd around day 16 and now I've found I O on 15 and I get sore nipples and bloating right afterward. Never knew that before...
MsBe: did you figure out how to subscribe? I had to go to desktop mode/Thread Tools/Subscribe.
AFM: I'm listening to a girl outside my office telling another lady about how they just announced her pregnancy to family and how her 12 week appt to hear heartbeat is coming soon. Yay. AF was one day late. I think something fertilized, but it was another dud. I wonder how many miscarriages I should continue to have before I stop. I used to see signatures indicating 7-8 losses and I wondered how they continued....I'm becoming that person!! Ugh!
@MsBe , yeah the half marathon sounds like a fun goal! If you've never run, I'd suggest a run-walk approach to ease into it. (Use to run marathons... eons ago...).
And why is it that these weight loss techniques always work better (or easier) for the men in our lives?! My husband looses weight so easily & I've been off the wagon for only a week & my pants are tighter than when I as pregnant! My poor mom--they both have been trying the paleo diet & my dad is shedding the weight while my mom just hangs onto it, poor lady. But I also think as long as you are feeling good & strong & vibrant--that is what counts!
Sorry about AF but have fun trying again!
@Wilhelmina , I agree about starting prenatal now. I've continue with mine to help rebuild. And you can always supplement with extra folate, too. My prenatal has folate but I'm actually supplementing with some extra folic acid because I discovered it in my pantry & I'm also not sure how well my body is using/processing the folate (your body has to turn it into folic acid, I think?)
I'm also continue to experience light cramping (though I realize I'm still at the tail end of my miscarriage) & I was also guessing it was my uterus getting back into shape. But I can't safely guess about what you're experiencing since I haven't been to your point yet. But like you said, maybe since you were farther along it will take more time to recover.
And I definitely will give it a full cycle before dipping my toe into TTC again. I know I have more healing & recovery to do. I need to be physically active again, too, before I'd feel comfortable TTC. That'll happen soon I hope - 10 sun salutations sounds so lovely! Right now I'm easing my way into it by walking. I plan to introduce some restorative yoga this weekend & start cycling to work in a couple weeks. Oh, and sleep! REALLY trying to make sure I'm getting 8 hours at least!
But I hear you on the age factor. Ugh I wish we hadn't waited so long after DS to start trying again! I'd so much rather be under 35 instead of where I am now (36)! I agree that it's a reasonable thing to factor into your decision to not wait the full amount of time your healer friend suggests.
Well, it's a warm sunny day where I am & I hope it's a lovely day for all of you as well!
Can I just say I'm so grateful for this forum--I don't have anyone close who is in this situation. It's wonderful to be able to talk about these things!
Here's to summer babies!!
@t2009 I'm freaking out about age too. 38.5...if I don't have a baby by 40 I will have a nervous breakdown!
My REs office called back and said that day 3 of my cycle would be the day to do the ovarian function testing. So, I have blood work and an ultrasound tomorrow!
@rosie2727 good luck! Fingers crossed!
@t2009 hugs, sweetie! I'm only now starting to feel kinda sorta ok. In 10 days it's going to be 2 months since my D&C... Wow, time sure flies. But when you're in the middle of the worst of it, it seems to drag horribly, doesn't it?
Ladies... I still haven't had s*x w hubby since... I seem to have a mental block or something ... What to do?
Dang, this new format stinks & it just ate my reply. I'll have to be short...
@rosie2727 , I'm crossing my fingers for you. I'm glad the RE was receptive to digging a little deeper & that the timing worked out that you don't have to wait another cycle before the testing!
And I hate that this is making me think I'm "old" for the first time. But we're not old & I'll bet you have your baby before you hit 40!!
Also, I'm going to look into a FF deal. I use the free version but I'm not happy with the way it tracks the "other" stuff I want to track.
How long have you had the leg pains? Hopefully it's just a fluke & will pass.
@Wilhelmina , I often have a mental block! ;) Did time at the spa help (or will it, if you haven't gone yet)? I'm guessing it won't be easy for us to get back in bye swing either. I suppose with time.
Had a strange day where I felt mostly good but also intensely sad at the same time--I think I'm getting better at existing with both extremes. Excited to get back to taking care of myself this weekend (yoga & acupuncture, mostly).
Hi to all of you lovely ladies. I have been lurking since my miscarriage but am jumping on board now. I am 33, no kids yet, and had a miscarriage at 13 weeks in April, and a hemorrhage and emergency D&C in May. DP and I have only been together for a little under two years, and the pregnancy was not planned (I actually took the morning after pill but it failed) but once pregnant I was so excited and happy, and now I have the baby bug bad. I am from a family of 7 kids that was total chaos and have always been very intimidated by motherhood, but I feel like the miscarriage opened the door for me in claiming mother as part of my identity. I hope to start trying to conceive in August. It seems like this is such a supportive forum and I wanted to reach out since I am trying not to overwhelm my man with my baby hopes. :smile:
Hello @avocet ! Welcome, mama (to-be:wink), I am sorry for your loss. But I am glad that this experience has been positive in the sense that it has opened the door to your readiness to "[claim] mother as a part of your identity". Beautifully put! As painful as it was, especially in the early weeks following my loss it was especially helpful to me to look at the positive ways it changed me, and my DH, and our relationship. And it really did. DH was on board with wanting another, but I see how this journey together has made him so much more committed, and I believe that when it does happen for us again he will be a much more supportive partner than he managed last time. Our communication has improved 100 fold in the past year and the anxieties I felt before my loss about how we would cope with a second have completely disappeared. As a couple, we are on much more stable footing, and ultimately my children will grow up and go on to have their own families, and our relationship will take center stage again. It feels good to feel like we have such a strong foundation. Sorry, I meant to respond to you but ended up making it all about me again :Sheepish.
How is your DP feeling? Eager? Anxious? Apprehensive? For all I said before, when we started trying for our DS I was 100% ready even though we weren't married and had just started to recover from a rather bad downturn in our relationship, and I can only call what DH was as resignedly willing at best. Whatever your situation, I would take getting pregnant even after the morning after pill as a very positive sign, and I hope your rainbow babe comes to you soon! :goodvibes
@Wilhelmina I can never remember whether folate or folic acid is supposed to be the preferred form (easier to convert/ absorb, etc). It is all so confusing. I take Rainbow Light because it is the one my midwives suggested when I was pregnant with DS. Since I only just stopped nursing I have been taking it since. Even after all this time I still flinch a little when I need to re-order, its expensive, but there is good research on prenatals preventing neural tube defects, and taking a multi is a daily reminder to eat well today. Hooray for 10 sun salutations and biking to work. :D For about six months I was doing really well about getting in some daily yoga but have really slacked off this spring. I really need to get back into it. As for DTD, *sigh*, I wish I had it all figured out myself. Is he initiating and you are resisting? Or has he been scared off too? Perhaps you could try to forget about it as BDing and just focus on trying to take time to connect as lovers, or as a purely physical release. (I imagine you are in desperate need of that right about now!) Perhaps you could try setting aside a time to go as far as you like with no pressure on yourself to do anything more than you're comfortable with but also with a willingness to let the moment sweep you away? Hard to know what to suggest without knowing more about where you are.
@rosie2727 Thanks for the subbing tip, it had me stumped. *Hugs* on the office mate. Honestly, it sounds like a darn baby factory where you work! I am so sorry things didn't work out this cycle. :( But I'm glad that you are getting your testing today! What will/did they do? When will we, ahem, you get the results? Your sweet rainbow babe will be in your arms well before you are 40, I just know it. As far as multiple miscarriages go, I know a woman who had 8 after her first son, but also had two more full-term babes. And chemicals (not terribly fond of that term) are probably way more common than anyone realizes. I can't say for certain since I usually don't test before day 16, but this past year of charting has my LP's ranging from 12 to 15 days so it could be that some of those were takers that never fully took. And I certainly know plenty of women who have virtually zero knowledge about their cycle and may have miscarried without knowing it. Sometimes knowledge can be a burden. Fx for good news after your visit!
@t2009 Ahh, sleep is a big one for me too. I was a needy sleeper before DS, (as in I need at least 9 hrs to feel my best) and the first two years were a nightmare of sleep-depravity. This last year has been significantly better but he still sleeps with us and while I love it, (I mean how much longer will he want to sleep with us and snuggle?) I also wake up whenever he stirs, which is a lot, and sometimes am awake for hours afterward, (like when I am worrying about if I am about to O, and how and, oh gosh, when, oh when, am I gonna find time to seduce my husband and when will I get pregnant again, and what if... and on and on). Long story short, still wish I were getting more and more consistent sleep than I get. Sleep improvement is an ongoing goal of mine. I also sometimes wish we hadn't waited so long before trying again but ultimately I think this age gap is gonna work out fine. Actually more than fine. I want two more (at least) so I think I'd like to space future children more closely but my sweet DS is gonna be such a big helper next time around. And he has the whole super hero, "to the rescue" thing going on, he loves the idea of a new baby and he loves the idea of being of service. Can you tell I am really feeling like my ducks are finally lining up in a row? Hmm, days of feeling super good and super sad- I had/still have a lot of them. Bittersweet, right? I sometimes felt almost guilty for having really happy days, or even moments, in the first few months after my m/c. But I believe we owe it to ourselves, our partners, our children, our children to come, to take very bit of happiness we can from everyday. I'm glad you are feeling some real joy again. :)
AFM- *TMI warning* AF has come on with a force. I woke up early this morning in a sticky mess despite taking my usual 1st night precautions. It's all good, I was figuring I needed a good cleansing. I love the beginning of a cycle, so many possibilities. In other news I am sore all over from gardening the last few days. My hands hurt, my feet hurt, my legs, neck, and back ache, my shoulders have a slight tender sunburn, I have bug bites from my forehead to my ankles. But truly I love this time of year, the garden is finally starting to look like something and I can hardly wait to get started out there again today. Thanks for all the encouragement on the half-marathon ladies! I will probably start training next week (during AF my legs feel like lead) and I'll definitely check in here for encouragement and tips from experienced runners!
@MountainMama2Be , @mamacatsbaby , @mcghee45baby , and all others I missed, how's it going? Sending blessings! :blowkiss
@avocet Hugs to you! Don't be shy and share with us all of your baby fever, your thoughts, pain ... All of it. That's why we're here.
Ugh! Tried posting earlier an it just wouldn't work!
@avocet : welcome and sorry for your loss! I, too, have to refrain from talking too much about it with DH. He gets on information overload and it starts stressing him out, which affects his, ahem, performance.
@Wilhelmina : I would just bite the bullet and DTD. Unless you feel totally against it....but I imagine it's probably a big deal to your DH, so that would be great for him. And once you do it, you'll probably find that it wasn't as scary as you'd built it up to be. After that it will be smooth sailing. And you might even enjoy it ;)
My appt is at 11:30 CST. They will send me for lab work (I think they will be testing hormone levels). And then they'll do an US to see if follicles are gearing up to get ready for O. How many there are, what size. I believe I'll have a chance to meet with the RE too for a quick Q&A session. I'll let everyone know as soon as I receive results!
BFN yesterday, CD1 today. :( On Monday I was so confident I was pregnant.... boobs still sore, exhausted every night, and then I actually felt nauseated all morning. I was sure I'd test positive! So not only am I not pregnant, I'm nuts too. Happy birthday to me.
I had been feeling so positive in recent weeks, even when I had that weird flu a couple of weeks ago, but now I need a day to just feel sad and miss my babies. We walked past the tree we planted for our boys the other day and I saw two butterflies flying around and felt so happy and peaceful. I know lots of others have been trying longer than we have, but both of my previous pregnancies were conceived on May so I was hoping this would be my month.
Tomorrow I will think about all the things I can look forward to this month being not pregnant, but for now I just need to be sad.
@rosie2727 Good luck with everything!
Ah, I wish I could 'just do it,' but I for some reason can't … I think the only thing that can help me right now is something 'stronger' to drink >:D We'll see. I am pretty sure that Friday night *something* will happen as that is going to be our spa night :o I really hope so anyway.
@MsBe It's supposedly the naturally occurring folate that is better (what you get in green leafy veggies, fruits, etc.) assimilated than the folic acid we get in most multivitamin pills. I've just recently learned about something called mthfr gene mutation. People with that mutation have a hard time converting folic acid into folate and should therefore only supplement with the bio-active (?) form of folate (there's some chemical name for it that I don't remember). Also, folks with this mutation (there are supposedly LOTS of them among us - almost 40% of population, I've read somewhere, don't quote me on that), should stay away from folic acid as it also builds up in their system without being used and then it can actually cause medical and psychological issues. I never before heard of it until I entered the Oct 2014 due thread, where one of the mommies has a mthfr mutation - she was taking a special folate supplement. I am actually considering getting genetic testing. Either through my doctor or through 23andme. In the meantime, I'm planning to literally bombard myself with folate/folic acid, just to make sure I have enough for the baby. I'm hoping the smoothies and salads I've been eating lately are going to make up most of my need and the supplements are going to be literally just supplementing it …
About DTD … he initiates all the time now and I turn him down explaining that I'm not ready. He gets the explanation and doesn't complain, but I feel bad for him … And it is causing a little bit of friction between us … and weird feelings at least in me. I really hope the spa stay is going to break that strange relationship I have with DTD :1praying
US done and it went great. He said my ovaries are the perfect size and I had lots of follicles on each side. He suspects my blood work will be normal, but won't know for a week. He also said most women, like me (repeat early losses/nearing 40), go thru 2-3 chemicals before their sticky. So, I'm 3 for 3....maybe the next one will stick! He said rarely do women have to endure 7-8 before their sticky. So it was all encouraging and gave me a little bit more of my hope back.
Happy Happy Birthday @ememers ! :joy Sorry about AF showing up for the celebration. She almost always shows her ugly mug for mine. :irked Being sad is okay. Hope you feel better again soon.
@ Wilhelmina Thanks for clarifying the folate/ folic acid issue. Very interesting about the 40% of pop that may have Mthfr. Hmmm...
@rosie2727 Glad the hope has returned and everything looks good re US! Just gotta hang in there a little longer mama!
Beautiful day here and making an awesome grilled romaine, eggplant, pepper, vidalia & feta salad tonight with dinner. Feels like summer has arrived, bring on the BFPs!
Welcome, @avocet , & so sorry for your loss. I agree that the fact that you got pregnant despite the morning after pill is a good sign that your baby will come soon! I just recently had a miscarriage & this group has been a great source of support, especially when I feel I'm overwhelming my DH or friends/family. I guess it gets easier, but right now it's all I think about ... the loss & the desire to TTC!
@MsBe , how old is your DS again? The sleep thing does get better. I'm good with about 8 hours so it's all on me to make it a priority because I can (I lay down with DS but he sleeps on his own). I was doing great this winter & when I was pregnant but now I'm on the internet too late or I eat chocolate late & it all keeps me up. And I'm the same way--once something wakes me, my mind wanders & I can't get back to sleep. I worry I'm imbalanced with stress hormones & draining my adrenals. Ah, stress... And I do think your ducks are in a row! It's going to happen for your family! And thank you--I like your outlook that we owe it to ourselves & those we love to enjoy life some! I really wish I could garden right now--with the move I miss my garden so much! It's a lovely distraction!
Happy birthday, @ememers ! Sorry for the bfn but you are not crazy! Our bodies are strange & I understand your sadness but I hope you can enjoy those peaceful & beautiful moments, especially today. But it's ok to give yourself space for sadness. Hugs.
@Wilhelmina , here's to DTD! [emoji482]. I like Rosie's take to just jump in, but of course I don't know your particular feelings & emotions about it. It's hard. Heck, it was hard for me mentally after having a baby so I'm not sure what it will be like now! And interesting about folate & the MTHFR mutation. I only thought about it in terms of b12 deficiency--I haven't been tested but my doc has suspected it & suggested a supplement from Thorne Research. It really helped my b12 levels & I see now it also has folate -- I think I'll start with it again!
@rosie2727 , so glad to hear the appointment went well. And how encouraging to hear from the doc that 2-3 is normal & that a sticky is likely soon! So relieved for you!!
AFM, almost having normal CM today so I'm crossing my fingers that spotting is almost through & we can *really* start thinking about TTC! I walked the stairs at work yesterday & walked a bit today & feeling so weak--my calves are sore! But good to be active again! Had a lovely chat with a friend who is pregnant but uncertain about viability & I really felt for her--I realize it's always complicated (for her, fertility struggles but not m/c) & it's not until you connect with someone that you realize it sometimes. I had a hard time finding the right words but we managed to comfort each other.
PS, @MsBe , I've never had grilled romaine but sounds yummy!
@rosie2727 So happy to hear that! Yay for renewed hope!
@MsBe It's quite interesting, isn't it. I was quite shocked to find out about it.
@t2009 Yaaay! So glad to hear things are finally starting to look up … :twothumbs I'm sorry about your friend's fears … I can't even imagine how I'm gonna feel when I'm pregnant again … sometimes I do try to imagine it and I nearly freak out.
AFM (something I learned here :nerd:): I'm drinking yet another chinese medicinal tea that tastes beyond nasty, so I really hope it's doing something magical for me, haha. I'm meeting up with a friend who's been TTC for over 6 years and now is undergoing IVF treatment. I hope things are going well and she'll be pregnant soon. I'm doing just fine physically and very well psychologically, actually. I hardly ever think about the miscarriage and when I do, it doesn't hurt so much anymore. Maybe it's just a phase or maybe thanks to my much better diet, I've even helped my depression/anxiety. Who knows! Tomorrow is our spa day! :love
One more thing … my daughter was conceived this month - probably towards the end of it some four years ago :heartbeat
OK, I'm back to feeling more like myself today. I can only wallow for so long! I went to acupuncture today and that always sets me right. Speaking of acupuncture, there was some discussion last month about blanket or no blanket at acupuncture... I have to say, I've never had a blanket. Do they put the blanket on over the needles? That sounds uncomfortable.
Jumping back into the thread....
I have the MTHFR gene variant. I have two copies of one of the forms, A1298C. It's supposedly the more mild variant but there hasn't been much research done on it. My Dr. has me on a bio-available form of folate (not folic acid, people with MTHFR can't process it and it accumulates in our bodies and blocks the absorption of real folate in our diets). The old advice was to just take a lot of folic acid, but that's outdated now (so if your doctor tells you that, you know he/she's not up on the research). It can be associated with some clotting disorders, so I was tested for homocysteine levels and a bunch of other clotting factors but those came back negative for me. People with MTHFR tend to also have a harder time processing out toxins, so I try to stay away from all chemicals and fragrances and eat as clean as I can.
As for food for fertility, I really like oysters and they are supposed to be good for conception! I also take cod liver oil (lots of vitamin A and D and I take it in a combo with butter oil which is high in k2). Here is a list of fertility super foods that I like: http://holisticsquid.com/40-fertility-super-foods/
I tend to subscribe to the traditional foods lifestyle, real, wholesome foods, etc.
@Wilhelmina , I tend to have problems DTD when I am emotionally worked up (or when it's been a long time, I tend to develop a mental block about it). Usually I just have to decide to take the plunge and it's never as hard as I think it will be. A strong drink doesn't hurt!
I've been coming up with reasons that it was good to not conceive this month.... some too personal to share and others that probably don't mean anything to anyone but me, but it's a good thought to try to hold on to. For one thing, both of my other pregnancies were conceived in May so I'm thinking it will be good to be on a different time table this time. Onward towards summer BFPs for us all!
@t2009 DS just turned 4 on June 2nd. I can't believe my baby is 4! We had a little cake and singing and one present from me and DH and Grammy on his actual birthday but he had requested, several times, a surprise party "where everyone jumps out and yells "Surprise!"" so we are planning to have a party with some friends and family after his gymnastics recital this Sunday while my in-laws are up. Since it'll be almost a week after his actual birthday I think it will surprise him! He has his own room and sometimes takes his naps there but despite some gentle prodding, and putting him to bed there for a few nights in a row every few months, he has never lasted more than a couple of hours on his own, he always finds his way back across the hall and into our bed. He's a real snuggler and unless he is touching someone he doesn't sleep well. My naturopath recommended taking Rhodiola for stress and adrenal support- we had a very stressful year last year, my mother was undergoing a difficult treatment, the m/c, a surprise wedding, lots of work being done on the house & barn, and while I try to keep DS and I on a regular schedule there is always some variation each week so we can spend time with DH who does irregular shift work- she said it was safe for pregnancy. She also recommended Thorne Research for B vits, I take Methyl-Guard. Glad you are feeling up to a little more activity these days. I would lose my mind without the garden. We lived in the city for five years with no yard whatsoever and it was a very hard time for me. I don't know what the situation is with your new place , but we ended up building a massive eight ft garden box on the sidewalk beside our house so that I could play in the dirt and have fresh herbs. There was no way to move it once it was up but luckily the people who bought the house viewed it as a real selling point. I would post a picture if I could figure out how. :shrug The grilled romaine was so delicious! I don't remember how we first came upon it but it is a summer staple with us now.
@Wilhelmina Well wishes for spa day! Hope it sets the right mood to get you over the hump. :duck
@ememers That wasn't too much wallowing, glad you are feeling better and acupuncture went well. I am hoping to get in tomorrow afternoon before this weekend's crazy gets started. I've never had a blanket before either. My TCM guy uses a heat lamp aimed at my belly and this new fellow also uses some kind of device that gives electrical pulses to the needles in my abdomen. The first time he did it, it was quite a shock :lol (wow, I am in rare form with the bad puns tonight!) since I keep my eyes closed so I don't hafta see the needles and he really isn't a talker. I nearly jumped off the table. Now I actually really like it, it feels like my uterus is all a buzz. I am trying to work myself up to taking cod liver oil again. For a while it didn't seem to bother me. But for the last couple months I just can't bring myself to do it. Since you take yours with the butter, I assume you have the fancy flavored kind? I want to try that next but since I abhor waste I feel like I have to finish the nasty fishy one I have in my fridge now first. Thanks for the link, I loved the list! Well, except for the liver. I'm not so into liver. Since we raise our own pastured pigs I cook just about everything in lard and we are fortunate to live in an area now where we can get most of our other meats (and milk) from our neighbors' pastured animals (our nearest neighbor has a buffalo farm, and we trade pork and lamb for chicken and beef from others). And yum, yum, yum I LOVE oysters. :eat How do you eat them? On the half shell? Smoked? Fried?
Yeah, that is weird about your siggie? I am still having issues with the site changes.
Afm- CD3 here and AF is easing up a little. (@rosie2727 I think we are cycle buddies again :)) After a couple of 10 hr days around here I woke up super sore and super tired this morning. DS & I decided we were due for a lazy day so we read books and napped on the couch and, of course, ate, ate, ate all day. So I still need to do some major house cleaning before in-laws arrive Saturday, and I have a million and one errands to run tomorrow. I'm saving some gardening for an excuse to escape if I need it while all the activity is happening this weekend. I think my sister and niece will be spending either Saturday or Sunday night here as well. But everyone should be gone by Tuesday and DH and I can collapse in each other's arms for some restorative BD. That's the plan, at least. :p Bring on the summer love!
Hello ladies! I'm new to the forum as I'm looking for support due to a recent loss. I'm having a hard time in general but especially with talking to friends and family about it. Like their emotions with my own are too much to bare right now. I should have been 10 wks today and I started bleeding Saturday. U/s shows a 6 weeker without cardiac movement. Of course doctors and midwives want to wait for more u/s and hcg but I know in my heart he/she is gone. A few weeks ago I just knew but tried to convince myself I was crazy. I hope to try again right away... I almost feel like that's the only way to recover from this. If full recovery is possible at all. I never imagined that this would be so hard. That I would feel so lost... confused... Broken. I know that I need to pull myself out of this rut for the sake of my 22 mo son but it's been really hard, especially when I'm the only one who is trying to accept it and move on rather than hold on to false hope. How long did the grieving process take for you ladies? Does the sorrow get better? Did you try again right away? Any success stories? Or did you wait a few cycles? TIA
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