! Welcome, mama (to-be
), I am sorry for your loss. But I am glad that this experience has been positive in the sense that it has opened the door to your readiness to "[claim] mother as a part of your identity". Beautifully put! As painful as it was, especially in the early weeks following my loss it was especially helpful to me to look at the positive ways it changed me, and my DH, and our relationship. And it really did. DH was on board with wanting another, but I see how this journey together has made him so much more committed, and I believe that when it does happen for us again he will be a much more supportive partner than he managed last time. Our communication has improved 100 fold in the past year and the anxieties I felt before my loss about how we would cope with a second have completely disappeared. As a couple, we are on much more stable footing, and ultimately my children will grow up and go on to have their own families, and our relationship will take center stage again. It feels good to feel like we have such a strong foundation. Sorry, I meant to respond to you but ended up making it all about me again
How is your DP feeling? Eager? Anxious? Apprehensive? For all I said before, when we started trying for our DS I was 100% ready even though we weren't married and had just started to recover from a rather bad downturn in our relationship, and I can only call what DH was as resignedly willing
at best. Whatever your situation, I would take getting pregnant even after the morning after pill as a very positive sign, and I hope your rainbow babe comes to you soon!
I can never remember whether folate or folic acid is supposed to be the preferred form (easier to convert/ absorb, etc). It is all so confusing. I take Rainbow Light because it is the one my midwives suggested when I was pregnant with DS. Since I only just stopped nursing I have been taking it since. Even after all this time I still flinch a little when I need to re-order, its expensive, but there is good research on prenatals preventing neural tube defects, and taking a multi is a daily reminder to eat well today. Hooray for 10 sun salutations and biking to work.
For about six months I was doing really well about getting in some daily yoga but have really slacked off this spring. I really need to get back into it. As for DTD, *sigh*, I wish I had it all figured out myself. Is he initiating and you are resisting? Or has he been scared off too? Perhaps you could try to forget about it as BDing and just focus on trying to take time to connect as lovers, or as a purely physical release. (I imagine you are in desperate need of that right about now!) Perhaps you could try setting aside a time to go as far as you like with no pressure on yourself to do anything more than you're comfortable with but also with a willingness to let the moment sweep you away? Hard to know what to suggest without knowing more about where you are.
Thanks for the subbing tip, it had me stumped. *Hugs* on the office mate. Honestly, it sounds like a darn baby factory where you work! I am so sorry things didn't work out this cycle.
But I'm glad that you are getting your testing today! What will/did they do? When will we, ahem, you get the results? Your sweet rainbow babe will be in your arms well before you are 40, I just know it. As far as multiple miscarriages go, I know a woman who had 8 after her first son, but also had two more full-term babes. And chemicals
(not terribly fond of that term) are probably way more common than anyone realizes. I can't say for certain since I usually don't test before day 16, but this past year of charting has my LP's ranging from 12 to 15 days so it could be that some of those were takers that never fully took. And I certainly know plenty of women who have virtually zero knowledge about their cycle and may have miscarried without knowing it. Sometimes knowledge can be a burden. Fx for good news after your visit!
Ahh, sleep is a big one for me too. I was a needy sleeper before DS, (as in I need
at least 9 hrs to feel my best) and the first two years were a nightmare of sleep-depravity. This last year has been significantly better but he still sleeps with us and while I love it, (I mean how much longer will he want to sleep with us and snuggle?) I also wake up whenever he stirs, which is a lot, and sometimes am awake for hours afterward, (like when I am worrying about if I am about to O, and how and, oh gosh, when, oh when, am I gonna find time to seduce my husband and when will I get pregnant again, and what if... and on and on). Long story short, still wish I were getting more and more consistent sleep than I get. Sleep improvement is an ongoing goal of mine. I also sometimes wish we hadn't waited so long before trying again but ultimately I think this age gap is gonna work out fine. Actually more than fine. I want two more (at least) so I think I'd like to space future children more closely but my sweet DS is gonna be such a big helper next time around. And he has the whole super hero, "to the rescue" thing going on, he loves the idea of a new baby and he loves the idea of being of service. Can you tell I am really feeling like my ducks are finally lining up in a row? Hmm, days of feeling super good and super sad- I had/still have a lot of them. Bittersweet, right? I sometimes felt almost guilty for having really happy days, or even moments, in the first few months after my m/c. But I believe we owe it to ourselves, our partners, our children, our children to come, to take very bit of happiness we can from everyday. I'm glad you are feeling some real joy again.
AFM- *TMI warning* AF has come on with a force. I woke up early this morning in a sticky mess despite taking my usual 1st night precautions. It's all good, I was figuring I needed a good cleansing. I love the beginning of a cycle, so many possibilities. In other news I am sore all over from gardening the last few days. My hands hurt, my feet hurt, my legs, neck, and back ache, my shoulders have a slight tender sunburn, I have bug bites from my forehead to my ankles. But truly I love this time of year, the garden is finally starting to look like something and I can hardly wait to get started out there again today. Thanks for all the encouragement on the half-marathon ladies! I will probably start training next week (during AF my legs feel like lead) and I'll definitely check in here for encouragement and tips from experienced runners!
, and all others I missed, how's it going? Sending blessings!