Losing hope - Mothering Forums

 
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#1 of 6 Old 01-21-2016, 02:07 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Losing hope

I had my follow up today for my D&C. As far as the surgery went,everything was good and my recovery has been fine. Doctor said the pathology didn't find anything. My MC appeared to be a random genetic anomaly that's unlikely to happen again, and the doctor also said he has no reason to believe it was anything but that. So that's not too bad. He said if we want to try again we should have no problem.

He also noted, and this is the crummy part, that he found out my cervix was pretty thin from a badly done laser ablation I had many years ago. Which, after the fact, my doctor told me I didn't even need. So next time I conceive, if it happens, I will be getting a cerclage. So let's count the additions to my high risk status: I'll be delivering at least over age 41, with an incompetent cervix, a history of miscarriage, FVL (luckily hetero) and who knows what else.

I also had an atypical pap smear at my last appointment (before the MC). And let's not forget that if I don't start trying again immediately, I probably won't have a chance. My time is very limited here.

The doctor pointed out that this loss helped us learn about my cervix and prevent a future loss. He thinks that because of my very good physical health, my age is much less of a factor than I have been lead to believe. And he doesn't believe my pap smear is anything but a misreading. But that doesn't make me feel better. The odds are stacking up against me. I am walking on the edge of giving up constantly. The problem is the only way I am surviving this loss is thinking I can try again, but realistically, that's slipping away. And I don't know what to do without that hope.
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#2 of 6 Old 01-21-2016, 02:35 PM
 
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I haven't gone through what you have, but you may find it helpful to read other stories of those over 40 who conceived after dealing with similar issues. Not that there is any guarantee, but perhaps those will help you to feel positive and encouraged again.

Best wishes to you!

"The soul is its own source of unfolding" - Heraclitus


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#3 of 6 Old 01-21-2016, 04:03 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sjbr View Post
I had my follow up today for my D&C. As far as the surgery went,everything was good and my recovery has been fine. Doctor said the pathology didn't find anything. My MC appeared to be a random genetic anomaly that's unlikely to happen again, and the doctor also said he has no reason to believe it was anything but that. So that's not too bad. He said if we want to try again we should have no problem.

He also noted, and this is the crummy part, that he found out my cervix was pretty thin from a badly done laser ablation I had many years ago. Which, after the fact, my doctor told me I didn't even need. So next time I conceive, if it happens, I will be getting a cerclage. So let's count the additions to my high risk status: I'll be delivering at least over age 41, with an incompetent cervix, a history of miscarriage, FVL (luckily hetero) and who knows what else.

I also had an atypical pap smear at my last appointment (before the MC). And let's not forget that if I don't start trying again immediately, I probably won't have a chance. My time is very limited here.

The doctor pointed out that this loss helped us learn about my cervix and prevent a future loss. He thinks that because of my very good physical health, my age is much less of a factor than I have been lead to believe. And he doesn't believe my pap smear is anything but a misreading. But that doesn't make me feel better. The odds are stacking up against me. I am walking on the edge of giving up constantly. The problem is the only way I am surviving this loss is thinking I can try again, but realistically, that's slipping away. And I don't know what to do without that hope.
I'm sorry your feeling so down and that everything is stacked against you but I personally do not believe that age is as big of a factor as they would like to make you think, honestly each woman s eggs decline on their own timeline so they may not be aging as badly as you think. The doctor is right that you have a very good chance that this was a one time event. Our society would like us to think that young = fertile but in reality that is not the case and being over 40 certainly doesn't mean that you can not try again. Try to focus on the positive and follow your heart momma.((((((HUGS)))))

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#4 of 6 Old 06-30-2017, 06:25 AM
 
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You are working yourself into one tight ball of anxiety.And I can tell you stress and anxiety can mess around with your hormones and reduce your chances of conceiving. While I understand that you have good reasons for worrying, rolling yourself into a ball of anxiety will not make it better. After all, from what you physician says, you stand pretty chances of succeeding compared to failing. So, concentrate on the positives more than the negatives, it will make your life and conception easier.
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#5 of 6 Old 07-21-2017, 03:28 AM
 
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Red face

Hi, I am sorry for all you have gone through but one way or the other life works out especially for pregnacy where nothing is given. There is lots of support online for women over 40 in case you may find their stories an inspiration and there is also lots of information of alternative ways to have a baby. Cheer up and welcome a world of possibilities, would like to share in your journey so keep me posted..xx
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#6 of 6 Old 09-11-2017, 09:46 PM
 
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Hello, dear! Please refrain yourself from worrying and stress. Do not worry about things like that because infertile couple can have a baby nowadays. There is always a solution to it. Stay positive!

Last edited by Janice205; 09-11-2017 at 09:51 PM.
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