Just1More, I know exactly what you mean-- I don't feel like I can talk about the neg. stuff with anyone IRL, and am hesitant to do so here. I feel like I should have everything together, and when I don't I have a lot of difficulty talking about it, even if I need help! Silly me.
Any mommas prone to stress eating? I don't keep processed sugar/junk food in my house, but unfortunately I am surrounded by it at work and end up eating way more than I should especially when I'm stressed out. How do you cope with it? I'm trying to be good and am eating an apple and roast pecans right now but today was so anxiety provoking that I am eying the evil little cookies we have here (and no, I can't just put them away, I work at a coffee shop/bookstore) There are also high fat cream cheese bagels to be had. erg.
Happy Wife since 12/31/05 ~ Blessed Mama to 2/8/09 and 6/11/11, with on the way due 2/24/14
I don't think I would have done dual care, or had an u/s, and I won't next time if all is well this time, but dh had some medical treatment that put us at a higher risk for birth defects...so we wanted to have hospital backup and the u/s. BUT...I am sorta regreting now. I dunno. I guess that's why we went...to see if there's anything to be concerned about. I do NOT like waiting the 2 weeks, though.
I can empathize with those who have rib pain! Mine isn't really from the baby, though. When I was about 12, I flipped over the handlebars of my bike while going down a dirt hill. It messed up my back, and sometimes still I can actually slip my hand under my left rib cage and hold on to the lower ribs. And across my ribs can get really sore. It's been a long time since that's happened, but I'm noticing it a lot lately. I think it's because I've been sleeping all over the house, and my back must be a bit out. Usually I can get it right back in, but the baby is in the way now...
"If you keep doing the same things you've always done, you'll keep getting the same results you've always gotten."
Much better to get your anemia taken care of while pregnant if at all possible.
And your body has increased blood production so much that a simple prenatal typically won't be enough to keep up, if your diet isn't already iron-rich (which mine typically isn't either). Plus, the additional iron will help your energy level.
Some mamas have great luck with Floradix. It is one of those works great or not at all type things, IME. I take Gentle Iron by Solgar. It's chelated and non-constipating. Just be sure that whichever iron you go with, you avoid calcium when you take it, since calcium interferes with iron absorption.
Mainstream Hippie, I would be worried for your friend too. Hopefully she is a social birther and has no unaddressed baggage with her parents, in which case she may do just fine. My biggest mistake with my first birth was having my mom be there as a doula/support person. It wasn't her fault, she's really into natural birth and she was trying to be very supportive, it's just I felt so much pressure to "birth correctly" in front of her. And I'm not a social birther. It was very inhibiting.
I am still not sure why the doctor didn't suggest trying a version Monday, or why she was so against her waiting to go into labor naturally.
This is the second planned natural birth recently that I have seen go surgical, and I have to say, it is making me a little nervous. I need to go re-read the thread on the homebirth board about statistical clustering.
On a related note, any moms here that have had c-sections previously, have any advice for me to help her, over the next few days as she wraps her head around this, and after her son is born?
C-section advice - research how she wants to be closed up - staples, stitching, or surgical tape. And dont' try to rush recuperation like I did. I really pushed getting up and moving around, so that I could get home. No point in rushing it. Have plenty of help around for after baby is born. She will need lots of help, so she can recover properly. I ended up having about a 6 week recovery time . . . but my incision opened back up and I had to wait for it to heal from the inside out and that takes a very long time. We had to pack it twice daily.
I don't want another c-section. Mine was a nightmare in everyway possible. My fears lie with having to go through that again. My first two were vaginal . . . and I hope and pray this one will be too.
I'm trying to research c-sections, and especially c-sections with chronic blood/bone marrow conditions since that's the condition that my section will be done under, but I can't find much about the combination. But there aren't too many people that have ever gotten pregnant with my condition (it's usually found in men over 50, so figure that one out. LOL! Although it's starting to become more commonly diagnosed in young women since young women tend to have more blood tests done for pregnancies and things...and my condition is usually first detected by blood test).
We're still working on the nursery too--I have to have DH finish nailing up the crown moulding before I can move the furniture back (thank goodness for the Pergo floors in the room--moving furniture is really easy. : ).
I am getting so very excited about this little baby girl. Every move she makes brings me so much joy. I remember loving all the movement with my boys . . . but because this is probably my last baby, I am really soaking it up and treasuring every moment of it.
And I still can't imagine what it will be like to hold a brand new baby "girl" in my arms. I just can't imagine it after having 3 boys. A baby is a baby . . . but after having all boys, there has to be something different about having a girl? And I am certain that if I had 3 girls I would feel the same way about having a boy. I would have loved to have another boy, because I just adore having boys . . . but this little girl is going to really change the dynamics of our family, and I am excited about that.
Now . . . I NEED A MIDDLE NAME!!! It's driving me crazy . . .and my husband doesn't see it as urgent as I do!
Here's your Debbie Downer for the week:
I'm 32 weeks now and am starting to feel big and uncomfortable. I had AWFUL hemorrhoids recently that are close to being cleared up now (I hope!). I've been waking up around 6 most days (very early for me, especially now that my older two kids are on Christmas break!) and staying awake for a few hours, until the kids are up and then I get really tired again, just when it's too late to go back to sleep. Blah. I always carry really high and "in" in pregnancy, and now that I'm in the home stretch I have rib pain and regular shortness of breath due to the constant pressure on my diaphragm. My husband got a promotion and is working a new position now, which translates to longer hours and difficulty reaching him during the day if I need something, even by his personal cell phone. This is stressful in late pregnancy -- ugh.
There's been drama with my in-laws concerning their dog, who's shown plenty of obvious warning signs that she does NOT like small children and has some jealousy/insecurity issues whenever any company is over. In the last year since they adopted her, we've been going to their house less and less (and having much shorter visits), largely because their dog's growling and showing her teeth combined with my MIL and FIL's inability/refusal to see that she's unpredictable around the kids makes me nervous as hell, especially with my youngest, who's 18 months old. Anyway, she snapped at the baby's face when he crawled past her (missing him, thank goodness!) in mid-November when we'd been invited for dinner and that was IT for me -- my five-year-old daughter was actually bitten in the face by MY parents' friendly family dog who was ALSO never a problem, and she was hospitalized overnight and had plastic surgery. It was very ugly for all concerned and the stress and drama drug out a LONG time, long story short. So yeah -- flashbacks!! Anyway, I handled the situation as gracefully as I could and didn't make any sort of stink, but we did leave right away and my husband got an earful on the way home and afterward. He talked to his dad about our concerns just before Thanksgiving, finally, and my FIL reluctantly agreed to hang onto the dog and take it on himself to make sure she didn't leave his side during the hour or so we would be there (or this is what my husband told me he said, at least). They couldn't put her in a room by herself or put her in her crate, he said, because she would howl and be depressed and bother everyone. And...he didn't even do the little that he said he would do. Nothing was different, the dog roamed freely, I refused to put my son down while trying to keep a smile on my face and make pleasantries with extended family, and the visit was extremely nerve-wracking for me. And I've been on my husband since then to talk to his dad AGAIN to let him know that the "plan" on Thanksgiving did not work for us, go over our concerns and stress that we're not judging them but we would be really crappy parents if we allowed history to repeat itself after there have been plenty of warning signs that their 10-year-old dog who arrived at their house set in her ways doesn't like kids and obviously gets agitated when any attention is taken away from "her" people, and we won't be able to come to their house over Christmas if they can't/won't promise us that she'll be kept away from the kids. The earlier the better, to help soften the blow to both us and them and give them some time to let this sink in. But, he really hadn't said much of anything as of yesterday. Not to any meaningful extent, at least. My MIL had something planned last night where she had hired a Santa to "pop in" and visit our kids and my niece at their house. She's done this the last few years. I had already e-mailed my MIL myself about this two weeks ago, saying we'd put it down on the calendar (as requested) and would love to make it as long as they were willing to please put the dog away while the kids were there (this message went ignored, which didn't surprise me). So yesterday my husband was out of stalling time to check with his dad about whether or not they were planning to comply with this request, and forced the issue briefly when my FIL met up with him at work (they work at the same company) to hand off the "Christmas outfits" that my MIL had bought for our kids to wear last night. Basically, my FIL was defensive and said no, they weren't willing to put the dog away in another room or kennel her at our place while we were there (we only live about two miles apart) or anything of the sort, and we were being ridiculous and exaggerating. Besides, us taking this stance is saying we don't trust them, and they take offense to that. Oh, and apparently I was accused of kicking their dog under the table on Thanksgiving, too (in other words, I'm just a mean dog-hater and this is the only reason why I'm now refusing to allow my kids to be around their dog -- realize that I've been involved in animal rescue for some nine years now and am the person who stops traffic to round up a lost dog and find its home). My husband tried talking to him on the phone last night as well, hours later, shortly before Santa's scheduled arrival at my in-laws' house. Same general result, and my MIL was also shrieking unintelligably in the background, my husband said.
Needless to say, we didn't go there last night. I'm sure the "punishment" for "ruining plans" or whatever will be a long one, and I imagine all sorts of wonderful things were said about us to extended family. My in-laws are extremely stubborn people. And we're certainly not planning to go to their house tonight for their annual Christmas Eve "thing" (which is always a HUGE deal), either. I'm hoping to drop off our gifts at my brother-in-law's house this afternoon. Extended family arrives there this weekend as well, there's also the old family friends who always come from out of state for New Year's Eve, and my husband's grandparents will be there from Florida the 26th - 3rd. These are all events we would normally be expected to be there for, to see everyone and help entertain (and forget about asking anyone to come visit our house; these are my MIL's gigs and she MUST be the hostess in charge of every last detail). It's really too bad. My husband has been in an extremely grouchy funk since last night now, too -- great. Merry Christmas!!
Despite all of these things that caused me to post this long rant here, I really am looking forward to the baby coming. I have all the confidence in the world in my birth team and recently secured plans to have a certified doula/ recent friend be at the birth, plus there's a "new" postpartum doula in town ("new" in quotes because she practiced for years in Seattle and is getting back into it here) who's offered a free eight hours of her services to two of my midwife's homebirth clients to get her business going and get the word out...and I'm one of the lucky ones! I'm so thrilled about that! I've spoken to her on the phone and will meet her in person in early January.
And I'm looking forward to trying my hardest to make it a GOOD DAY today and tomorrow. I plan to take the kids to a chamber choir concert of Christmas carols at a big, historic church downtown at 1:30 today. After that, it's baking cookies and Chex Mix, starting a fire in the fireplace, and watching movies and playing games as a family. We'll probably order or make pizza and maybe drink hot chocolate in our pajamas while we drive around looking at Christmas lights. I'd like to go see a movie at the theater tomorrow, too, after opening presents from Santa and having a lazy start to the day. Whatever we do, I refuse to be stressed out or cranky; I've been that way WAY too much lately. If there's one thing I've learned from this it's that you have to take control of your own situation, not rely on others to make the changes you want so things will be smoother. It's high time to create our OWN family traditions for the holidays, besides. A friend put it to me yesterday that I don't want my kids to grow up to dread the holidays and think of them as a huge source of stress every year the way I always have as an adult, do I? That really hit it home.
Anyway, that's where I'm at today.
And I would not take my children to their house anymore until they do. Bless your heart, what a crappy situation.
ETA: Bluebird, that number isn't nearly as bad as mine was last time. Sorry if I came off as alarmist -- since the number isn't too bad, I think you'll be okay with the little added supplement.
I'm so sorry this is putting a damper on your family's Christmas. I hope you and yours have a very jolly Christmas anyway!
I was so afraid of all dogs for years and I still maintain a major fear of stray dogs...something we see often living out in the country, people let their dogs run around here!
I would never let my child around a dog I felt was a danger...as a matter a fact...my exMIL (who I LOVE) has actually given 2 rescue dogs away to other situations that she felt were not good around the kids (she is a Vet). I'm sorry your inlaws are choosing their dog over their grandchildren...
Yeah. I swear I'm not making any of this up.
I have a similar situation with my sister's dog- 190 lb mastiff/saint bernard cross. She is not allowed around my son, so she is outside or in another room when we go over. She snaps and lunges at small children as well. My uncle's insane toy poodle is the same. She hides under furniture, then when a child crawls/walks by, she runs out and bites. She got my son's shirt on the sleeve, and bit another child that day, I told my uncle that if she was ever in my site around my child, she wouldn't live to see another day. She is left in the bedroom when any kids are around now.
My responses seem extreme, but I have worked with dogs in rescue, obedience and conformation for years, and I have no tolerance for animals like that- there are too many good ones who need homes who never make it out of the shelters. Plus I have seen permanent scars on children and adults bit by aggressive dogs, and it is not a situation worth risking IMO.
Good luck with that situation. Like you and everyone else has said, stick to your guns. Really wouldn't it be considered child abuse if you knowingly let a child be in that situation and they got bit?
I am a dog person ... and if anyone who wanted to come to my house but was afraid of dogs for ANY reason, I would lock our dogs in the yard or in a separate part of the house. It is SO unreasonable for them not to accommodate you in this regard, especially with so many smart solutions at hand.
For everyone's sake, I encourage everyone to look into children's classes at local animal shelters that teach kids how to behave and react around known dogs and strange dogs, and what to do if they encounter an off-leash dog while out playing. We live rurally where you'll never know what dogs you'll meet on any given walk. It drives me crazy, because our dogs are tagged, trained and leashed ... and then along comes some random dog looking for a fight. :
ETA: I have seen sooooo many dog bites locally in my job as a paramedic. And with children, the bites are almost ALWAYS on the face, leaving them scarred. With adults, we get the bites on our butts, usually, so it's not nearly so devastating an injury. But when children are bitten, it is so traumatizing for everyone involved. It astounds me that your in-laws are being so ignorant on this issue.
I am having a blah Christmas Eve day so far. I wish DH were here-- he is working until 5 or so-- I miss him-- my dad never used to work on Christmas Eve when I was kid, I was spoiled that way-- and the day is so gray and my tiredness is making me feel very "stuck". I have to get this house straightened up so that it will be a pleasant place for us for our holiday celebrations and yet I am SO SLEEPY and just really really low-energy. I feel quite sluggish. I could seriously go back to sleep and take a full nap-- like three hours or so. Then I would feel great. Oh well. And the laundry is all behind AGAIN and I am out of quarters for the stupid laundry machines. ::::
♥ blogger astrologer mom to three cool kiddos, and trying to figure out this divorce thing-- Blossom and Glow ♥
I know in my case with the breech presentation there was some "fear" (not sure that is really the write word - maybe "concern") on the part of the doctor that if I was to have my water break or go into labor naturally that it was more risky than it would be to have the scheduled c-section. I think I remember reading that in some of the pregnancy books as well.
I had a scheduled date but actually ended up going into labor at 37 weeks (most likely due to the bicarnate uterus situation).
This time around I am having a scheduled date again...and I am pretty confident this little one is also breech (u/s coming again next week to confirm). I think this again is mainly due to the uterine issues.
My biggest thing, as a pp said, is to just take it easy and have help. The recovery is longer - for me that just meant lots more hanging out on the couch snuggling with my little boy (no complaints at all) and bonding. I needed help getting up and down the stairs in our previous house...in reality I think all moms with new babies could use more help .
I can remember feeling stressed to learn that we needed to have a c-section that first time. I think I read "too much" and ended up freaking myself out more than was necessary.
♥ blogger astrologer mom to three cool kiddos, and trying to figure out this divorce thing-- Blossom and Glow ♥
♥ blogger astrologer mom to three cool kiddos, and trying to figure out this divorce thing-- Blossom and Glow ♥
Take it easy and don't lift anything except the baby. The incision is fragile and if it opens or she gets an underlying hematoma it can take longer and be more painful for healing.
My last piece of advice would be celebrate. Ask for music in the delivery room. Bring a cloth soaked in lavender or some other EO to breathe so you don't have to smell the sterile surgical room. Don't treat it like a surgery, treat the experience as a birth.
She is now into full-on preparations- finishing up shopping, cooking for freezer meals, all of that good stuff. She very thankfully has tons of local support- good friends and able-bodied family. And her OB/hospital choice are relatively natural-birth friendly. Unfortunately, they have indicated to her that having the baby on her chest right after his birth is not possible- they will take him to the warmer and do APGARS, weighing, and bath. But that he will stay in recovery with her in his bassinet/warmer, and transport in that back to her room. I found a fantastic birth blog about empowering women in regards to birth choices including in surgical births. I told her she could definitely fight some of that, if she wanted to. Like the bath. I know they really wanted to bath my baby when I had her at the same hospital, but I said no, and what could they say to that? They told me they would have to wear gloves. I said, uh, okay, then wear gloves. They said the warmer would have to stay in my room until after the bath. Okay, that sounds fine. Eventually, they mentioned a shortage of warmers and really needing it elsewhere, so I said I'd go ahead and bathe her. It was about a day after her birth, anyway.
She should be able to nurse the baby in recovery, but I will make sure she asks.
I have to wrap Christmas gifts tonight and do some cleaning of the house. I premade the main part of Christmas dinner last weekend so that I can just pull it out of the freezer tomorrow. I'll make some shrimp appetizers and some cookies and be done. DH gets to do the rest and our friends are bringing the rest of the food. It should be fun and relaxing. I'm looking forward to it.
Now, I'm trying to pretend to work today. I wish I had taken the day off because I've done nothing productive today. Thankfully we get off 2 hours early today. DH gets 3 though...so jealous! Happy Holidays to all of you. It's exciting to think that next Christmas we will all be celebrating with our new little ones!
Sue, Mama to Fiona Aileen (2/1/09) and Maeve Penelope (10/7/11)
I really want it to be next Christmas already... with a little one crawling around getting into everything! I can't wait for that!
On a happy note, my birthday is in just a few days! Which means my mom is making me a yummy cherry cobbler and a birthday dinner. What I love about this Christmas is it is just the beginning of the festivities. I have three showers coming up in January, then I can really get in the swing of nesting and preparing for this baby to get here!
Oh and RabbitDancer I also do not blame you at all! Last summer my nephew was bit in the face by my sister's dog. The dog was normally very good with the kids, but honestly the boys had been very mean to her and made her afraid of them. It was a hard way to learn the lesson of animal cruelty, but all the kids in the family now know that you have to treat animals with kindness just as you do humans. His bottom lip was mauled and permanently scarred. He also has a small scar under his eye from it. Like I said, this was normally a very patient dog. If there is any indication that a dog could cause harm to anyone, the owners should take responsibility to ensure everyone's safety... especially their own grandchildren!
Mallory. Happily married to Joe since 6/25/05. Loving my adventure with my girls, Owyn Samantha, born 3/1/09. and Greta June, born 11/2/11
Bathrobe Goddess, 45 stitiches -- how SCARY! That is awful. Did you daughter pull through okay in the long-term? How long ago was this? I'm so sorry to hear it. Yes, even otherwise safe dogs can feel threatened enough in an accident to bite like that. They can't exactly talk to us to tell us what's wrong, and children, especially, are accident-prone. I was also bitten in the face by the family dog around age 4 (again, I swear I'm not making this up...), though it wasn't nearly that severe, "just" a puncture wound to my upper lip after I'd gotten too close when the dog was enjoying a bone from the butcher shop. Then again, this dog was another one who arrived with obvious unknown emotional baggage and my parents never did anything to work with her or train her to be good with kids, and I mostly kept my distance from her growing up. I've never been close to a dog, so I suppose it's no surprise that I'm SO not a "dog person" today.
I went to drop off a small gift to the friend who gave me all the cloth diapers and she gave me a couple more newborn covers as well as a bag of newborn clothing including sleepers, gowns and long sleeved onesies. They are all of her neutral stuff and quite cute. She is hoping we have a girl so she can give us more. I have a lady at church that wants us to have a boy so she can give us clothes. Plus I already have clothing from my previous children so this baby will lack for nothing. Plus since she is having no more kids I am free to give or sell the diapers when I'm done with them so maybe I can find another mom who wants some but can't afford any. That makes me happy.
It was worth it, but holy moley I'm tired and my back hurts. I really hope I sleep tonight.
We had a good day but very busy. Although I did sneak a nap in the afternoon which was nice . One of my Christmas presents was a gift certificate for a 1 hour pregnancy massage. I'm going to schedule it for around 36 weeks. I've never had a massage before (well, a professional one)so I'm really looking forward to it.
DH and I leave in 1 week for our trip! I'm so excited. I think I've mentioned this before but we're going to a resort about 3 hours from here for a week. It's going to be so nice and relaxing. I've been looking forward to it more than Christmas. And once that is over I'll just have a few more weeks to get ready for the baby!
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