Really fuming about my day! - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 23 Old 12-31-2008, 09:50 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Okay, so the two things that made my day hell:

First, the ultrasound tech. It was totally an accident and I don't blame her for it, but when she was doing the abdominal ultrasound she said "Oh it looks like the placenta has moved a lot!" and after she left the room so I could get ready for the trans-vag ultrasound I sat there thinking about how I might still have a chance for a homebirth, how fast I could get a birth pool and re-hire my midwife and so on. And I started to get excited at the prospect, and hopeful. Then when she came back to do the second part and actually measured the placenta vs. the cervix and everything she got real quiet, stopped being so friendly and chatty and nice and got really cold and impersonal. And I knew immediately that she knew she'd misspoke and that the measurements showed either no change or not enough to make for a safe natural birth. She left the room after the ultrasound was over and didn't say anything more to me. That hurt a lot. We had been so friendly and joking and laughing, and the fact that the ultrasound revealed disappointing news didn't mean we couldn't still be friendly.

Then the perinatologist came into the room and told me what the measurement was and that it had barely changed over the last 6 weeks, and they couldn't see that it would change within the next 4-6 weeks even close to enough to make for a safe birth and that they would go ahead and schedule me for a cesarean. Okay, I had already dealt with that and been prepared for it for the last 3 months. It was fine, no big deal. Until he dropped the bomb on me that my insurance would not cover a schedule cesarean at either of the hospitals in my city and that I would have to give birth out of state at the teaching hospital in Portland. The one that takes over half an hour for me to get to, with no parking and it is like 12 or 16 stories high and huge, where all babies go to the nursery at night and you are going to have interns and residents in charge of your care instead of real doctors.

I was PISSED. None of the midwives at my clinic had EVER mentioned this. They had me pre-register at the hospital my mom works at, the one 10 minutes from my house that I know like the back of my hand, where they have no well-baby nursery at all and I already knew half the nurses through my mom. Every time I asked one of the midwives to discuss the "what ifs" about what would happen if the previa did not resolve my concerns were brushed off and they refused to even acknowledge that a previa sometimes does not resolve. When I brought up the studies I'd read that broke it down percentage-wise I was told that I must be reading very alarmist studies because that was nonsense and nobody ever has a cesarean for a marginal previa. Never once did they feel it was necessary to mention that I would have to change hospitals and care providers at 34 weeks either!

I came home just livid, yelled and screamed for an hour about the unfairness of it, then one of the nurses from my midwives' clinic called to tell me the peri. was wrong and I could have the baby at the other hospital in my city, just not the one I'd planned on going to. I came down a few notches but I'm still pissed that nobody told me about this sooner. They're also transferring my care to the maternal fetal medicine clinic for the other hospital so I now have about 4 weeks to get to know a whole new group of doctors. I'm seriously considering lodging a complaint with the manager at the clinic because I specifically, repeatedly asked 3 different midwives to discuss the what ifs and all 3 of them brushed me off. They really dropped the ball and I really deserved to be aware of this before today.

So there it is. No more wondering, waiting, not knowing. An answer once and for all. Not the one I'd hoped for but at least I can sleep at night and not stay awake worrying and wondering.
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#2 of 23 Old 12-31-2008, 10:01 PM
 
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#3 of 23 Old 12-31-2008, 10:32 PM
 
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DiD, I am so sorry. They should have been much nicer to you. And thenews is disappointing, I know.
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#4 of 23 Old 12-31-2008, 11:05 PM
 
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Oh, I'm so sorry. That's a really bad day. First, I would have been hurt by the tech's actions, she was rude and inconsiderate- only making it worse, not better.

Second, I'm so sorry about the midwives and their actions or lack thereof. I'm sorry that even under midwife care you had to advocate for yourself and still got stonewalled. Besides the news and the dissapointment, it all came in a very unfortunate way. I hope that you can find some comfort measures... but I'd say go ahead and feel quite sorry for yourself for awhile. You deserve to.

Amanda; mama to: Axel (Dec/04), Evangeline (Apr/07) and Ramsey, (Feb/09) born unassisted! Jethro Vader (Apr/11) and #5 due April 2014. 
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#5 of 23 Old 12-31-2008, 11:09 PM
 
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DiD, I am so sorry. Pregnancy and an impending birth can be such emotional and challenging times. Being jerked around doesn't help.

Happy wife to DH superhero.gifand mama to DS signcirc1.gif11/05 and DD energy.gif8/07.
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#6 of 23 Old 12-31-2008, 11:11 PM
 
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Oh for the love of pete, that SUCKS. I'm so sorry. What a crappy day. I would lodge a complaint, probably.

I hate it that you're having to deal with this.

SAHM to Guinevere (04/05/06) and Eowyn (02/13/09)
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#7 of 23 Old 12-31-2008, 11:48 PM
 
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DiD, what a rollercoaster! I'm so, so glad for your bit of "good" news at the end of the day, though, as the "worst case scenario" sounded like the exact opposite of what you'd been hoping for.

Big hugs, mama, and deep breaths!
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#8 of 23 Old 01-01-2009, 01:35 AM
 
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You're right. They really did drop the ball. I hope that your new care providers are fabulous and you have a fantastic birth.
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#9 of 23 Old 01-01-2009, 02:47 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you everyone for your support!
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#10 of 23 Old 01-01-2009, 06:33 AM
 
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how can they force a baby into nursey??

Can you not just write a birth plan and make them do it your way??

If all else fails fly here Free too

love I'm sorry its not easier for you
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#11 of 23 Old 01-01-2009, 10:11 AM
 
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I am so sorry! I was wondering too how they could force you to keep your baby in a nursery. That's horrible if that really happens! But thankfully you won't have to go there!

So sorry!
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#12 of 23 Old 01-01-2009, 11:30 AM
 
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I'm so sorry. What an awful experience for you. I agree that the tech could definitely have been a lot better. I'm sure she has protocol to follow but she could have been at least human.

I'm also really sorry about the hospital news. It's frustrating and you shouldn't have to deal with this kind of stuff right now. I agree with the previous posts, continue to be strong and advocate for your rights to keep the baby with you and do everything you can to make this birth experience your own.

Mama to my charming little boy, born at home January '09
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#13 of 23 Old 01-01-2009, 12:10 PM
 
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Oh this sucks, I am so sorry for you having to go through this!! I hope you were able to have a nicer night with your husband after that.

It's good to hear you don't have to go out of state, but this is what pisses me off about insurance. Why on earth are the insurance companies so picky that they can decide where you can have your health care? It's so ridiculous!
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#14 of 23 Old 01-01-2009, 12:24 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DreamsInDigital View Post
. I'm seriously considering lodging a complaint with the manager at the clinic because I specifically, repeatedly asked 3 different midwives to discuss the what ifs and all 3 of them brushed me off. They really dropped the ball and I really deserved to be aware of this before today.
Good greif that sucks!

If I were you, I'd report them to the state medical board as well. That is beyond irresponsible of them to not even attempt to address your legitimate concerns.

I'm so sorry sweetie!

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#15 of 23 Old 01-01-2009, 12:55 PM
 
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Uh! How awful! I'm really sorry for the added drama!

Eden yikes.gif, working on a PhD in Education mama to Laurelleshamrocksmile.gif (16), Orijoy.gif (6), Yarrowfaint.gif (4) and Linusfly-by-nursing1.gif (1) partner to Brice. 
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#16 of 23 Old 01-01-2009, 04:17 PM
 
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... what a rollercoaster. So, so, so sorry that this previa experience has been so fraught and complicated.

dust.gifFour-eyed tattooed fairy godmother queer, mama to my lucky star (5) and little bird (2.5). Resident storyteller at www.thestoryforest.com. Enchanting audiostories for curious kids. Come play in the forest!
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#17 of 23 Old 01-01-2009, 07:47 PM
 
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wow...
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#18 of 23 Old 01-01-2009, 10:01 PM
 
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So sorry about all the unnecessary distress they caused you.
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#19 of 23 Old 01-03-2009, 03:12 AM
 
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#20 of 23 Old 01-07-2009, 05:45 PM
 
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l, <>< wife to my sweetie, proud mama to 3 cubs, 2 who clw & 1 that i i ep for . baby was evicted early by induction due to severe pre-e/hellp syndrome
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#21 of 23 Old 01-07-2009, 08:44 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My new doctor is awesome. We spent over an hour talking at my appointment today. I feel so much better. I wish I could have switched to him sooner.
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#22 of 23 Old 01-08-2009, 10:58 AM
 
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My new doctor is awesome. We spent over an hour talking at my appointment today. I feel so much better. I wish I could have switched to him sooner.
Oh, I'm so glad to hear it!
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#23 of 23 Old 01-08-2009, 02:09 PM
 
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What wonderful news! That makes me so happy for you!
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