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Old 01-07-2009, 02:06 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Ever since before this baby was conceived, he's been Silas. Before we were sure he was a boy, we were hoping for a little baby Silas.

Then I started seeing it everywhere. I thought it was just my imagination. Like when you find out you're pregnant and suddenly there are prego bellies everywhere. I love it so much and we were SET on it.

We didn't tell anyone. It was our secret, OUR NAME.

My friend just had a baby yesterday.

A baby boy.

Guess what his name is.

I am bawling right now. I feel so silly for grieving for this name, but I CAN'T use it now.

HUG ME.
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Old 01-07-2009, 02:12 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I can't even bring myself to read her blog entry about him. I want to be happy for her but I can't stop crying.
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Old 01-07-2009, 02:32 AM
 
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Oh hun, I'm sorry! If you truly, truly love the name.. then you should still use it to name your son!
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Old 01-07-2009, 02:37 AM
 
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Please use the name!

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Old 01-07-2009, 02:42 AM
 
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Old 01-07-2009, 02:59 AM
 
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I agree! Use the name!

Seriously- I'm a Jennifer and you know how many of us there are out there! And most of us turned out okay even with the same name!

Jen, L&D RN, CBE, CLEC who loves to knit.gif! I adore my modifiedartist.gifDP, treehugger.gifDD 10/98, & sweet new babygirl.gif5/10!!!
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Old 01-07-2009, 02:59 AM
 
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Old 01-07-2009, 03:44 AM
 
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Old 01-07-2009, 03:51 AM
 
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I'm so sorry, but you should use the name because it's important to you, or at least keep it as a middle name.
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Old 01-07-2009, 04:41 AM
 
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I think you should still use it! Your friend would understand as I'm sure she's asked you what name you were planning and you told her it was a secret! It is a wonderful boy's name it seems like it means so much to you.
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Old 01-07-2009, 04:44 AM
 
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I would talk to your friend and see how she feels about it. Lots of people share names, if you have an emotional connection to the name then I would use it anyway.

FWIW, we loved the name Calvin, it was at the top of our list until someone close to us used it. We went with a different name but I've always kind of regretted that decision.
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Old 01-07-2009, 04:50 AM
 
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Use the name.

There is no corner market on baby names, and so what if you have two babies with the same name in your circle?
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Old 01-07-2009, 05:54 AM
 
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not from your DDC, just snooping.

Silas is a great name, and you should name your child Silas! Plenty of room in the world for 2 Silas's.
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Old 01-07-2009, 11:14 AM
 
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I agree with everyone here . . . if you love the name, and already consider that to be his name, then I don't think it makes a difference at all that someone else has used that name that you know. Use the name anyway . . . you will regret it if you don't! You have been thinking of your baby as Silas for a long time now, that is already who he is to you! It's the same with our baby girl, we have been calling her by name for months . . . there is no way that we could name her anything else . . . regardless of who may take that name up until she's born.

And I have a similar experience. When I was pregnant with son #3, once we found out he was a boy, we very quickly settled on a name for him. It was odd that it came so quickly for us. But we knew that was his name. . . and were super excited about it.
My husband's cousin had a baby boy in July . . . just about a month after we decided on our son's name . . . and yep, you guessed it, they named him Jonathan. The name we'd already chosen for our son . . . the name that our other children were already calling him. Yes, it's family . . .first cousin even . . .but we used the name Jonathan anyway. We had no way of knowing they were going to name him Jonathan, but we knew for certain that was the right name for our son. So, it didn't make a difference to me that it had just been used by family.
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Old 01-07-2009, 11:45 AM
 
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(Also not from your DDC but saw this tread in New Posts)


Use the name by all means!!

I would tell her very honestly that you are a bit sad cause you had been planning to use that name for so long. And that you still think of using it anyway. Hopefully she'll understand. But even if she doesn't - it's not up to her.


Who knows if your kids will even be friends later in life? I'm not really friends with any of my mom's friends' kids.

Or maybe either of you will end up moving away and you won't see each other very much. Or you might grow apart and not be friends anymore - who knows?

I can totally understand you're sad though!! :

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Old 01-07-2009, 12:26 PM
 
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I would still use the name.

Mama to Zoe (8/00), Morgan : (10/01), Brooke9/06), Casey 20wks (2/08), and Riley : (2/09): She's really here!!
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Old 01-07-2009, 12:50 PM
 
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I'm an oddball, but I wouldn't use it as a first name, unless your friend was okay with it, and (more important) you are too.

But it's not my call. It's yours. I would, no matter what, talk to your friend and explain the situation, absolutely, and get her input. She may not mind a bit if you use the name.

But I understand if it's not her reticence but your own that's causing the problem now. It's why we decided Cordelia would be the middle name, not the first name. And I'm okay with that, even though I'd been 99% set on it as a first name for a long while.

Do what your heart tells you. No one owns a name.

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Old 01-07-2009, 01:26 PM - Thread Starter
 
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The thing is... it's just not the same anymore. I mean, of course I'd talk to her about it if I did, but I just don't want to use it anymore. My husband agrees, he's not nearly as sentimental as I am, so I'm sure it's out of his head already.

The funny part is that she married a Paul, then I married a Paul. If I name my second son the same thing as her second son, it'd just feel really weird. Might as well change my name to Melissa. I'm getting okay with it, really.

In the end, it's frankly not her up to her what I name my son (and I'm sure she'd be fine with it - we live in different states and don't see each other often, just keep in contact), but that's not where the hesitation comes in. I'm not really worried about what she thinks. It's just not what I want anymore.

So right now I'm sitting here sipping my candy cane hot cocoa, contemplating Milo and Cohen and thinking of middle names and getting ready to finally read her blog entry - I really am happy for her, and it's going to be okay.

Thanks everyone.
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Old 01-07-2009, 02:55 PM
 
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I definitely want to send hugs your way, I would be upset too! Silas is actually the name I have always loved for a boy and intend to use it when/if we have a boy in the future (this one is a girl). I would be heartbroken if someone close to me used it before I could get to it. I understand not wanting to use it now, I would feel the same way. For me, I'd be like you and just have to come to terms with it and try to get excited about a different name.

Mallory. Happily married to Joe since 6/25/05. Loving my adventure with my girls, Owyn Samantha, born 3/1/09. dust.gif and Greta June, born 11/2/11  babygirl.gif

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Old 01-07-2009, 03:02 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Someone on another board just said "oh, so it didn't mean anything, you just liked the name." And you know what? She's right. If I was naming him after a relative or close friend instead of 'I just really love this name,' I wouldn't change it for anything. Odd, but that makes me feel better.
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Old 01-07-2009, 03:19 PM
 
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I guess I misunderstood your first post.
I can also understand your reaction of "hmmn I don't think I like it now anymore" , and you kind of have to say goodbye to the name you thought you were gonna choose...


Btw I love the names Milo and Cohen (that's cause of my secret crush on Leonard Cohen ).


Now I'm going to stop crashing your ddc

Mommy to DD bouncy.gif born August 2008 

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Old 01-07-2009, 03:24 PM
 
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Ok, saw the title, had to see what was up, and had to post. I have two boys, William and Lorinc (pronounced Laurence). When Lorinc was born I had a good friend who was pregnant and due 6 months after me. We didn't knwo their name choice, and she didn't know ours. They had actually decided on "Lawrence William" as the name if their child was a boy. My choice of name did not deter her, and it did not bother me at all that she named her son Lawrence as well. So I say, use your name!

Happily married to my dh, mama to ds1 (01/2005), ds2 (07/2007)  and dd (07/2009).
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Old 01-07-2009, 03:26 PM
 
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I can totally sympathize Dooney. We have been set on our girls name for months now and then all of a sudden it is EVERYWHERE! Im not totally oppossed to a common name but it seems like this name is very trendy right now and that turns me off. But I LOVE it and have been thinking of my baby as this name, and my two year olds even refer to the baby as this. So now I don't know what to do. Ive been trying to come up with other names but feel like I'll regret it if I don't go with our original choice. Hugs!

SAHM to my surprise bigeyes.gif twins M&W (7/06) twins.gif and my vbac.gif darling W (1/09) hearts.gif Expecting another little bean this summer pos.gif
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Old 01-07-2009, 04:24 PM
 
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dooney, for what it's worth, I think Milo is really, really, cute.

But I encourage you to keep Silas in a middle spot, if you are inclined, since you've felt so strongly about it for so long now -- unless you think you may have another son later on down the road and want to save it for him.

SAHM to Guinevere (04/05/06) and Eowyn (02/13/09)
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Old 01-07-2009, 05:48 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Leisha View Post
I guess I misunderstood your first post.
I can also understand your reaction of "hmmn I don't think I like it now anymore" , and you kind of have to say goodbye to the name you thought you were gonna choose...


Btw I love the names Milo and Cohen (that's cause of my secret crush on Leonard Cohen ).


Now I'm going to stop crashing your ddc
You didn't misunderstand, I was kind of all over the place freaking out because I had found out less than a minute before and I'm pregnant and it was late at night, and that's never a good combination
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But I encourage you to keep Silas in a middle spot, if you are inclined, since you've felt so strongly about it for so long now -- unless you think you may have another son later on down the road and want to save it for him.
I'm assuming by "middle spot" you didn't mean name him Milo Silas - I immediately thought of Miley Cyrus. We may save it for the future.
Quote:
my two year olds even refer to the baby as this. So now I don't know what to do. Ive been trying to come up with other names but feel like I'll regret it if I don't go with our original choice. Hugs!
Yeah, my nearly-two-year-old calls my tummy "Baby Wiyas." I'm not sure what to do.
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Old 01-07-2009, 05:53 PM
 
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I want to add that my sons name is Evan hes 12 so hes been around the family for awhile now lol.

My SIL named her son Evan 2 years ago. She didn't feel bad, I don't feel bad either.

But I understand falling in and out of love with a name, Its ok to grieve it.

Loving Dh, Mama x 4, Surrogate mother to 5. A born 2003, M and R girl/girl twins 2006, S and C boy/girl twins born 2010. Processing/healing.
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Old 01-09-2009, 07:15 PM
 
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I had my heart set on Silas if this one is a boy, but my MIL talked my husband out of it Now we have no boy name!

military wife to Eric, mommy to Ani 11/06 and Emi 2/09 and our angels angel1.gif 12/10, and angel1.gif 2/12 and our newest addition Izzy 4/13

 

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Old 01-09-2009, 08:28 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by Lisanne View Post
I had my heart set on Silas if this one is a boy, but my MIL talked my husband out of it Now we have no boy name!
Why? What did she say to him??
My MIL comes up with these horrid names to "help" us. She is a cashier at Wal-Mart and she asks what all the babies' names are that come through her line. Yesterday it was something like Bernard. No thanks

We're looking at Cohen Silas now.
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