Birth story of our sweet nameless boy - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 13 Old 02-26-2009, 12:01 AM - Thread Starter
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We still don't have a name for our sweet baby boy, but I thought it was time to share my birth story anyway. Tomorrow he'll be a week old! (Updated at end)

Thursday morning February 19 I woke up around 5 am with some contractions. I wasn’t due until the following Tuesday, but for a couple days I’d had really strong Braxton Hicks contractions that ended almost painfully, and been crampy and strange-feeling. I felt like I'd been ready to launch into labour since Sunday night, but was holding off until a few things came together. My sisters Genieve and Kaitlyn had flown in Wednesday night from St. Louis and Japan respectively, along with my neice and nephew. I had planned to have them both present for the birth, as well as my sister-in-law Sarah to take photos and my mom. I also went to LLL Wednesday night becuase I knew I wouldn't get to go again for awhile. I had planned to have a beautiful homebirth with my family and midwives- I was really looking forward to having it photographed and shared by everyone. My previous births were very quick and straightforward, 3.5 and 4.5 hours, and I thought this birth would be an great oppotunity for my family to experience birth in it's most positive form. I had spent a lot of time and effort 'finishing' our bedroom and bathroom, and made a really lovely space that was bright and open and perfect for a 'birthing nest'. I had hoped to have wonderful beautiful photos to relive the event later.

The contractions were already strong when they got me out of bed at 5am. I found myself struggling with the stronger ones a bit. Because of my previous short labours I was under strict instructions to call everyone right away, especially my midwives. There was no build-up of strength or frequency, they were just generally strong and frequent, although irregular. The other biths very clearly built up and I had no doubt I was in labour. I was able to welcome the contractions, relax through them, absorb them and work with them. This time I could feel myself trying to get away from them, and whatever I did didn't seem to help. I listened to my ipod for a bit, came on here, did some chores around the house. During contractions I would sway, relax, try all-fours. They were very tight and quite long, and at the peak I was really resisting them. For some reason, though, I didn’t FEEL like I was in labour, between each contraction I just kept postponing calling anyone. I was so mentally convinced I wasn't in labour. I wanted to be alone until I knew it wasn’t going away. After each contraction I told myself I really probably wasn't in labour, but during each one I thought I must have been dense. As I approached dawn I started to fret about the day beginning. The kids would wake up and dh would go to work. How could I keep labouring with a 4 year old and 2 year old running around? This wasn't how I imagined it, this couldn't be it. Besides, between contractions I felt totally normal.
Closer to 7 am I called my student midwife, Melissa. She understood my confusion and suggested a shower and to call her back after. I now wonder if I had talked to my primary midwife who attended my previous birth if she would have left right away.
First I brought up a good load of wood for the fires (we heat with wood) and started the generater (we are off-grid but use a genny to fill our water tanks). I showered and the hotwater felt great on my back; thought it reduced the contractions to almost nothing. See? It wasn't labour. When I got out I started to get ready for the day, dressing and putting makeup on. The kids were up and dh had been following me around anxiously, wanting me to tell him I wasn’t in labour. He was getting ready for work and helping with the kids. I realised pissily that the contractions were even stronger since I'd gotten out of the shower. They were very difficult to work through, I was getting breathy and a bit panicky during them. I couldn't focus and I was getting easily annoyed. I still couldn’t understand how I could be in labour with the kids up, or have a baby now that it was daybreak. I started to get irritated with the kids and realized I should make the bed up. I told Axel we would probably have the baby today. I sent them downstairs to have breakfast with dh. I had kept postponing filling the bathtub since I ‘wasn’t in labour yet’ or thought it could be a really long time, even though our tub takes forever to fill. I realised, 'this is it'. I was going to have the baby, but still wondered how long it would take. I paged Melissa back, and called my mom and Sarah, saying to ‘leave now!’ It was 7:50 am.
Things were coming really fast now. During contractions I was on the floor groaning and panting and between them I was making the bed up, filling the tub and starting a wash. Chad was desperately trying to leave and getting upset that no one was here yet. He didn't want to be around for the labour and had wanted to be called when it was closer.
I had labored in the tub with Evangeline’s birth, and it was wonderful. I had hoped to do that again and possibly birth there, but I hadn't filled it up in enough time. I was trying to fill the washing machine with a load from the floor of the laundry room between two intense contractions when I knew I had to get down to business. I hit the floor with my fist, saying 'get here, get here!' Was I talking about my help, or the baby? I headed for the toilet, realizing I was feeling pushy. I was desperate for someone to show up. Chad came upstairs to check on me, and yelled about going to the hospital now, realising how close I was. I yelled back about having a baby NOW! I had planned to birth at home and made a lot of preperations for it. Chad wanted to go to the hospital, but we had an agreement that I would stay home. He went back downstairs mad as a hornet, to be with the kids. This was his worst nightmare, being alone with a birthing woman; he is 'birth-phobic', despite having a wife who loves pregnancy and birth and really loves that 'high' from 2 ecstatic births.
I took my bottoms off and hit the bathroom floor. I was beside the tub, still filling it, still hoping to get in it to find some relief, but it was too hot. I realized I was having the baby right then and started saying to myself, ‘I’m having the baby, I can do this, I’m having a baby’. I panted through 2 contractions, on my hands and knees. I was a bit thrilled that the panting worked to get me through two. I grabbed a towel from the towel bar and threw it under me. My first push overtook me and I groaned loudly. My water broke like a spray- it was clear- and I reached down to feel the head and support myself. It must have crowned, but I didn't feel the 'ring of fire', just the incredible overwhelming pressure. My pushing was involuntary. Chad came bounding up the stairs because he could hear me and stood in the bedroom, watching, furious. While I waited for the next contraction we exchanged ‘words’ on what was happening. He swore and I reassured him I was just going to have the baby right now. The next contraction/push bore the head and I kept my hand resting on the side of it. I groaned loudly with exertion and agony with each one, but I didn't scream like a banshee like I did with Evangeline. Chad swore again, I assured him everything was fine, the baby was coming. "We're having the baby, we're having the baby'. I waited, knowing the wait was fine, but still it felt like forever. The third contraction the whole body came out with so much relief and a huge groan. I reached down (I was kneeling but sitting on my heels) and grabbed the baby and brought it up to my chest. What an incredible feeling- to be the only hands that touch that slimy, hot wet body, to grab your child because no one else is going to, and to pull them to your chest. I asked for a towel, which Chad tossed to me, not moving any closer. I was so calm, so mentally organized as well as euphoric. I held the baby facing away from me with head down a bit and rubbed his back and head a bit, then lowered him to check for the cord, which was wrapped 2 or 3 times around his neck and once around his body. I unwound it easily, then brought him back up to my chest and continued rubbing him to stimulate him and checked for mucous. He made some noises, I could see he was breathing and pinking up, and cried briefly. I asked for the hat my midwife Barb knit, and started laughing and crying to Chad that we’d ‘had an unassisted birth! We had an unassisted birth!’ Chad insisted it wasn’t funny, and where the 'frig' was everybody. He asked cautiously if it was ok, and I said he was great, then asked if he wanted to know what it was. He said ‘no!’ but I lifted the towel and lifted the leg and laughed that we had another boy. I stayed where I was and held and cuddled the baby, I was comfortable and knew I didn't need to move. I tried to get the baby to suckle, but he wasn't interested, so I rubbed my nipples to help the placenta to detach. Chad asked if I was bleeding and I said 'no', but as I said it I felt a small gush and throught it was probably the placenta.
After a few minutes Chad brought up Axel and Evangeline to meet the baby and they were both thrilled. They came right over to meet him and seemed genuinely pleased. Probably 10 minutes passed and the midwives arrived. Melissa came up first and stopped dead in her tracks and stared at us for a minute, then rushed over with a huge hug after she shrieked for a bit. Barb did the exact same thing!
They helped me deliver the placenta and during this my mom and sister and girlfriend arrived- when they each walked in they didn’t realize I’d had the baby already. Chad had greeted them at the door with 'a**-holes, a**holes, that's what you are, what took you so long?'
I was easily cleaned up and moved to the bed. Everything went perfectly- I had no hemorrhaging or tearing and I felt great. We had delayed cutting the cord until the placenta delivered, and I had kept my bladder empty to help the uterus contract. All our carefully laid plans to prevent the hemorrhage I'd experienced in each previous birth worked so well- I had minimal bleeding and wasn't faint. Once again I had no tearing.
We guessed the time of birth was 8:15, making it a just-over 3 hour labou. The baby weighed 7lbs 5 oz.
During the birth I didn’t ever panic because since Evangeline’s pregnancy I had been prepared I might have an ‘emergency childbirth’ because Axel’s labour was only 3.5 hours long. Once I realized I was going to have the baby by myself I sort of ‘took control’ and was clear headed, giving myself instructions. With the other births the pushing phase had left me feeling train-wrecked and completely out of control, but this one had so much more consciousness. It was an awesome, crazy experience. I wouldn't plan it that way again, but I’m so glad it happened. I love that Chad was there and saw the whole thing, and was glad he was too mad to be sick. I can easily find the humour in his swearing and anger- I had thought to myself during the birth, 'if he can swear during the birth of his child, then I should be so bothered by his swearing in general'. Chad is very birth-phobic; it's not an education thing, it's just a total uncomfortableness with the whole process, and he ended up experiencing exactly what he was afraid of. But it was wonderful! He's not exactly a convert, but I'm very proud of him.

The baby was calm and content and a lazy nurser for a couple days. He wasn't hungry and had a fair bit of mucous. But once the mucous came out and my milk came in his latch has improved and he's become much hungrier. He's such a joy!
Praise God birth was designed to work when left to happen as it should!

At two weeks old we named him finally: Ramsey Chad Wilder (lastname). I insisted that 'Chad' be included, as his my dear husband was the only one who witnessed his birth! The news of the birth has spread rapidly around our small town, as well as the rumours. (One has Chad huddling in a corner saying, 'why are you doing this to me?!) I'm so pleased and proud and secretly thrilled with all the events, my only regret is it wasn't photographed and experienced by more people. But that's both the worst and the best part, isn't it?

Amanda; mama to: Axel (Dec/04), Evangeline (Apr/07) and Ramsey, (Feb/09) born unassisted! Jethro Vader (Apr/11) and #5 due April 2014. 
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#2 of 13 Old 02-26-2009, 12:10 AM
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#3 of 13 Old 02-26-2009, 01:03 AM
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Oh my goodness. I can't imagine being in that situation. I think I'd have collapsed in fury and fear.

Good for you, mama! WAY TO GO! What a story to tell your children...

(Now, go find a name for that baby! *laughs*)

SAHM to Guinevere (04/05/06) and Eowyn (02/13/09)
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#4 of 13 Old 02-26-2009, 02:04 AM
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Way to go, awesome story!! I'm hoping to have a quick easy unassisted labour, but maybe not quite that quick.

mom to all boys B: 08/01ribboncesarean.gif,  C: 07/05 uc.jpg, N: 03/09 uc.jpg, M: 01/12 uc.jpg and far too many lost onesintactlact.gifsaynovax.gif

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#5 of 13 Old 02-26-2009, 12:05 PM
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Great story!!! Way to go!!!

♥ blogger astrologer mom to three cool kiddos, and trying to figure out this divorce thing-- Blossom and Glow ♥

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#6 of 13 Old 02-26-2009, 03:23 PM
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Wow! You did great! I loved being so conscious and calm during my pushing phase this time, too. So much nicer than the fast frantic rush way. Congratulations again on your new baby and your great birth story! And I'm still waiting to find out what name you pick!
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#7 of 13 Old 02-26-2009, 04:42 PM
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A wonderful tale of chutzpah and joy!

dust.gifFour-eyed tattooed fairy godmother queer, mama to my lucky star (5) and little bird (2.5). Resident storyteller at
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#8 of 13 Old 02-27-2009, 11:45 AM
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Awesome birth tale mama!! Congrats, you did it!! : Welcome baby boy!!

Mama to Zoe (8/00), Morgan : (10/01), Brooke9/06), Casey 20wks (2/08), and Riley : (2/09)
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#9 of 13 Old 02-27-2009, 12:03 PM
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Holy cats what a story! you did a wonderful job.

Your story is a good reminder to not deny labor...because with my first I did that same thing and then all of a sudden I was in transition on that LOOOOONNNNNGGG 45 minutes drive to the birth center. This time around we are staying at home....but I still want to admit I am in labor so that I can enjoy it...or at least process it.
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#10 of 13 Old 02-27-2009, 04:13 PM
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great!!!! congrats:

Proud Mama to DS 04/23/06reading.gif DD 02/18/09 modifiedartist.gif, 2 dog2.gif, and wife to wonderfuldh_malesling.GIF and adding another baby.gif. Here's my blog:
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#11 of 13 Old 03-02-2009, 05:42 PM
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WOW, that is awesome. : Congrats mama, and welcome baby.
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#12 of 13 Old 03-16-2009, 03:31 AM
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What a great story! Congratulations!

Jen, L&D RN, CBE, CLEC who loves to knit.gif! I adore my modifiedartist.gifDP, treehugger.gifDD 10/98, & sweet new babygirl.gif5/10!!!
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#13 of 13 Old 03-16-2009, 04:38 AM
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I am not in your DDC (nor a homebirther) but I just wanted to congratulate you. What a beautiful birth story that speaks to the unbelievable strength of all women. Many kisses to your sweet new nameless babe! : :

Apparently doing it rong and ruining it for everyone, but I don't give a crap anymorebanana.gif

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