I'm a wreck! -problems with 3 y.o dd. - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 6 Old 03-04-2009, 07:39 PM - Thread Starter
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I have suddenly morphed into a monster mommy.
I've been trying to get dd to nap with me, because her bedtime is all thrown off. She's used to me lying down with her until she's asleep and the baby always needs me at that time, so she's going to bed much later, plus getting woken up at night. She really needs more sleep.

Attempted nap time today was a disaster. I am crying right now. I was acting like a seriously bad monster mommy.

She would not lie down and go to sleep, kept kicking the covers and pulling open the curtains after I asked her not to. I kept picking her up and taking her out of the room and saying "you can take a nap with me, or you can play by yourself out here" Of course, she would say "take a nap with you"
"O.K, then you can't kick or pull the curtains or talk, you have to lie down and go to sleep"
"O.K, mommy, I will"... rewind to the beginning of this paragraph and repeat... repeat ... repeat.

I finally ended up totally yelling at her in a mean voice and being kind of rough with her (several times).
Now I think she got the point and is playing while I write this (and cry).
ds slept like a newborn through it all and is still sleeping. I am a sleep deprived wreck. My whole support network is gone this week... either on vacation or sick with the flu or too pregnant to help*and I have no one to call on. I'm only 9 days pp and it seems like too soon to be on my own with both of them. I have barely slept in two nights. If this keeps up, I feel like I could be on my way to ppd.
This is the most disconnected I have ever felt with dd. I told her that she was being bad. Now I don't know how to make amends with her. What should I do?
She was blatantly doing what I asked her not to do and then laughing when I got mad, which is SO infuriating, especially when I'm lying in bed and trying to sleep.
I feel like the worst mom ever. The poor kid is going through so much, and now her ever loving, gentle, patient mom has turned into a raving lunatic.

To top it all off, we live in Seattle and the sun is shining brilliantly out there, and we are stuck inside the house acting like jerks to each other.

Anyone else having a rather horrible time trying to adjust to having two kids??

mama to dd (4-15-06) and
ds (2-23-09)
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#2 of 6 Old 03-04-2009, 07:51 PM
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Hey mama
I'm not from your ddc, but I saw your post and wanted to send a hug. You are not a monster mommy! You are human, and even when you are a strong person, things like this can be difficult. I'm sorry you are having such a rough time right now. Take a deep breath. Give your DD a hug. The hug will probably do you as much good as it will her. Things will calm down, and you will find a schedule that works for everyone. You can do this. :

SAHM (32)  Married to a bearded hunk (28) , DS  11/00, DD  06/09, two  in 2013,the final piece to our puzzle   is due 12/14
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#3 of 6 Old 03-04-2009, 07:59 PM
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I feel your pain. I've given up on enforcing the nap because I turn mean when we all try to sleep and ds does a version of what your dd did. I can't help getting angry so I avoid the situation. I know he is tired and needs more sleep but I just put him to bed a little earlier or have dh do the bedtime routine. Can you switch it up so your partner does dd's bedtime? It may take a couple nights for her to get used to it but it might help.
If I really need the nap I put on a video for ds to watch and then I go lay down:.
I had help until 11 days PP and post c/s. I know it wasn't enough. But at least there is light at the end of the tunnel as my mom and grandma arrive on Friday. I hope someone recovers and can come give you a hand. Ds has preschool 2 mornings a week and this gives me a much needed break. Maybe this is an option for you?

Proud Mama to DS 04/23/06reading.gif DD 02/18/09 modifiedartist.gif, 2 dog2.gif, and wife to wonderfuldh_malesling.GIF and adding another baby.gif. Here's my blog: http://nessabean.blogspot.ca/
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#4 of 6 Old 03-05-2009, 02:22 PM - Thread Starter
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we do prechool, but I go with her.... she still doesn't want to be dropped off. oh, and I use the t.v too.... I'm trying to cut back though!

mama to dd (4-15-06) and
ds (2-23-09)
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#5 of 6 Old 03-11-2009, 01:36 PM
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Our kids are almost exactly the same age and i live in everett just a coupla hours north of you. anyway i would just let her do whatever makes her happy and content my daughter also stopped taking naps and nothing i could do would get her to. it was infuriating because she really needed more sleep. but now she is napping and a lot happier. as long as its safe let her watch tv or play while you rest as much as you can when your partners home rest as much as you can. its been 3 weeks since my ds was born and things are getting back on track im still tired but am feeling much better and ds is adjusting to life on the outside and dd is starting to take naps again which i thought would never happen. dd was watching a lot of tv and i felt really bad about it but now that i have some energy back and i can entertain her and give her some structure i pulled the plug on the tv and her demeaner has improved soooooo much i wish i had not fought with her to turn the tv off or to take a nap until i was ready and had more energy. so my advice is do whatever it takes to get rest do as little as possible and you will soon start to feel better and so will your dd even if she watches tv for hours it wont last long or if she wont take her nap dont fight her things will get back to normal. hope this helps. good luck. oh and the sunny days my dd refused to stop watching shows it was so maddening but again i should have just let it go yesterday we went out and spent a coupla hours in the snow. now all we have left is to get her bedtime on track shes been going to sleep at 11 oh and getting a moby wrap for the baby really helped alot i also found he sleeps alot better when hes been attatched part of the day!
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#6 of 6 Old 03-12-2009, 02:23 PM
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Going from 1 to 2 is harder than anything else. Everything else is easy. Let me tell you what my mom did when she went from 1 to 2. She sat in chair and read to me. I was only 2 years old and that is all we did, she was too tired to do anything else. Just keep in mind, this too shall pass.
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