I hate the crying! - Mothering Forums

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Old 03-11-2009, 12:08 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I need to vent/see if I'm normal...

I really hate his crying, and I don't mean "I hate that he's upset", I mean I find it so annoying. Not all the time, only when he get's into a fussy period and won't stop. It makes me so angry and I often have to just hand him to dh and walk away. I feel like such a horrible mom. I have thoughts about just leaving him to cio, which I would never actually do, but it doesn't seem like either me or my dh make any difference (during these fussy spells). It's like he's a different baby and not the sweet little one I love.

I'm also trying to figure out what causes this. It seems like it's gas, and he had a green-ish poop last night as well. But I can't imagine it's a foremilk/hindmilk imbalance as I always try and really empty one breast before switching sides. Ugh, I don't know...

Mama to my charming little boy, born at home January '09
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Old 03-11-2009, 12:23 PM
 
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green poop also means a cold. I know what you mean. Have you read the happiest baby on the block ? I suggest it. most babies are just going through a hard 4th trimester period.
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Old 03-11-2009, 03:02 PM
 
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You aren't a bad mom. My dd had "colic" for 9 nine and it was pure hell. She cried all day long- literally (except when she slept). Sometimes I had to put her in her crib and walk away because I was afraid I would hurt her or something. We tried everything to find out what was wrong, but in the end the doctor just said it was colic. I dont know if I agree, but there wasn't anything else I could do.

I remember one evening when she just kept screaming and I lost it. I started yelling at her and telling her to just shut up already. Then, of course, I immediately felt like total and utter crap and broke down into hysterical sobs.

The bad thing is, with the new baby, I am automatically gun-shy. He doesn't cry much, but when he does, I go from happy to super-annoyed really quick. It brings back the memories that I would like to forget.

Everyone kept saying it would stop at 3 months (like most colic) but it didn't. However, my dd was the exception to the rule I think. If your baby has colic, he will most likely change around 2 or 3 months.

Whatever you do, don't beat yourself up. You are completely normal. I also suggest that you talk about it with dh, because he is probably feeling very similar.

Corrie, "trad" Catholic, wife to DH and Mom to DD (4/07), DS (2/09), DD (2/11), DD (4/13), two angel babies. 
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Old 03-11-2009, 04:04 PM
 
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You are not alone! To my (admittedly limited) knowledge EVERY NEWBORN BABY goes through a period where they cry for no apparent reason for hours every night and it's pretty hard to feel suffused with tender emotion while it's going on. My son wouldn't even stop crying to nurse - too busy making mommy crazy. I spent a lot of time bouncing on a birthing ball, reswaddling, shoosing, etc and asking my husband to rewind the DVR because I missed something during a particulary piercing scream. Here's a website I found informative: http://www.kellymom.com/babyconcerns/fussybaby.html

Try to take comfort that you are nurturing your son even through he's still screaming inconsolably after you've done everything possible to calm him. Just having him in your/your husband's arms is lowering the stress he feels and increasing your bond. Also, try not to worry that just because your son is wearing your eardrums out now that you necessarily have a colicy or high-needs baby. They can grow out of it as they adjust to life on the outside... my son turned out to be really mellow once he got through that period.

Oh, and a non-alchohol based gripe water can make you feel like you are doing something useful to solve the problem as well. I used it more as a placebo for myself but maybe it helped the baby too
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Old 03-11-2009, 05:38 PM
 
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It's hard to listen to a baby cry! I find it very frustrating myself, and I have a very easy and low key baby this time around!
However, she still wants to be held all the time, and I have 4 children and can't hold her all the time. I have to put her down sometimes. So, there are times that I have to put her in her swing or bouncy chair and she screams her head off, until I can pick her back up again. It's so hard.
The newborn stage, while it may seem like it lasts forever, is really over pretty quickly, and you will forget these days!
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Old 03-11-2009, 05:51 PM
 
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I too get frustrated when my baby gets fussy - and it doesn't happen often! I think I just get easily annoyed in my sleep deprived state! I often will just hand Lincoln over to his dad - who has an infinite amount of patience - to scream in his dad's arms. I sometimes wonder if thats what he wants b/c usually when I hand him off he calms down in a matter of minutes.

I try to remind myself that me getting frustrated is just making it worse b/c he can sense it - but sometimes thinking that I'm making it worse makes it much worse!!

I can totally sympathize though!
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Old 03-11-2009, 09:51 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you all so much for responses! It is definitely frustrating and I'm glad I'm not alone. I also have a patient husband that I can hand him to - I don't know what I would do without him. I think I tend to get annoyed quickly, especially since the fussiness is always in the evening/night when I'm tired. I think it will help next time to just know it's all normal.

Mama to my charming little boy, born at home January '09
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Old 03-11-2009, 10:18 PM
 
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I think the best thing is to hand him to dh and walk away. That's exactly what I do. Dh has a fresh set of nerves when it comes to the baby and mine are worn from the baby and my ds at the end of the day. I find that I can soothe her easier in the beginning/middle of the day. I think it is because I am calmer and have more patience. Babies feed off of our energy so if you are getting exasperated he will feel it and start to wind up even more. That's why they calm so fast when passed to fresh arms.

Proud Mama to DS 04/23/06reading.gif DD 02/18/09 modifiedartist.gif, 2 dog2.gif, and wife to wonderfuldh_malesling.GIF and adding another baby.gif. Here's my blog: http://nessabean.blogspot.ca/
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Old 03-11-2009, 10:56 PM
 
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