You can do it. Even without a method. I'm doing Hypnobabies this time around, but with ds2, I didn't do anything. I made it through a 20 hour labour, where I got to hit transition twice, with an extremely badly positioned baby. The main things are to try to get into positions that are comfortable for you, breathe deeply though the contractions & try to relax. Especially keeping your jaw loose & your sounds low pitched really helps. Your dh can remind you with just a word or two; like loose or low. And the other bits of advice I have are a)pay no attention to the number of cm dilated you are. Try to have as few done as possible. 2 is probably the minimum you can get away with at the hospital. It won't tell you anything and can be discouraging if you pay too much attention. Some women stay around 3-5 for hours, then they're suddenly 10. b)don't worry about how much longer it will be, just focus one contraction at a time. When you're between them, try to think of something else.
Hope you have wonderful birth!!
And, slightly Ot, Just wondering if you're aware the eye goop is only to prevent infection in the event you have an STD? If you don't have one, it's totally unnecessary. Same with the only vaccine usually given in the hospital, Hep B. If you don't have it, your baby doesn't need the shot.
I really have no idea how to prepare for the pain itself, since I've NO idea what it will feel like, but not paying attention to the dialation # is GREAT advice too, thank you again! That is definitely the kind of thing that would discourage me.
As for the eye gunk and Hep B vax...DH is for all of that stuff, and I'm on the fence enough to agree with him on it to avoid any more arguments (no flames please!) We are planning on having these things delayed as long as possible in the hospital, though.
It's not impossible at all. It's just a HUGE asset to have one there. It doesn't say whether or not you can make it without medication - if you want to, you will!
You'd made it sound in the OP I think (?) that your MIL was only going to be at the house with you. Why don't you just have her come to the hospital as well? I didn't have a "certified" doula. I had two lifelong friends, one of whom had already had a NCB, one with no kids, and their mom who was also my Bradley instructor. It was a party, lemme tell ya. Anyway, it sounds like your MIL would be great to have there so why not bring her along? Or did I misunderstand?
Oh, and YOU CAN DO IT!
Having MY mom here for that purpose might be good or bad (she did 2 unmedicated births, but has the attitude of "what's the big deal? It's just pushing a baby out," and might make me feel like a wimp if I show any weakness), but that's a pretty moot point b/c she lives in MI (we're in SC), and can only get 2 weeks off to come spend. They're planning on either flying last minute as soon as they find out we're in labor or hopping in the car last minute and driving.
|As for the eye gunk and Hep B vax...DH is for all of that stuff, and I'm on the fence enough to agree with him on it to avoid any more arguments (no flames please!) We are planning on having these things delayed as long as possible in the hospital, though.|
I'm trying to find something I've read multiple times about making decisions in labour and the questions you need to ask if they suggest something. I'll post it here if I find it. BTW, have you read Thinking Woman's GUide to a Better Birth? It's a wonderful resource for women who are having hospital births. Would be really helpful for your dh to read it too.
ETA: Found what I was looking for, from Henci Goer
1. What is involved in this procedure/medication/restriction? Just as with tests, you want to know exactly what your doctor or midwife plans to do, including how it will feel.
2. What are the benefits?
3. What are the risks or drawbacks? How commonly do they occur? There always will be some risks, although they may be minor, and the serious ones may be rare.
4. Will this procedure or medication or restriction require the need for others, or can it lead to others? Like tipping the first domino in the row, one intervention tends to lead to another. To illustrate, epidurals require an IV and continuous electronic fetal monitoring. They often lead to needing IV oxytocin to stimulate stronger contractions and to bladder catheterization. They increase the odds of a vacuum extraction and forceps delivery and can increase the odds of cesarean delivery. Each of these interventions introduces its own potential for adverse effects. Again, as with tests, you want to know all the possible consequences before agreeing or refusing.
5. What are my alternatives, including doing nothing?
6. What are the advantages and disadvantages of those alternatives? As Diana Korte and Roberta Scaer write in their book A Good Birth, A Safe Birth, “If you don’t know your options, you don’t have any.”
mom to all boys B: 08/01, C: 07/05 , N: 03/09 , M: 01/12 and far too many lost ones
and so can I!
This will be my second hospital birth but since my first was a 2 day induction, I am feeling like it was/is my first. I am still wondering about when to go in and questioning how I want to do things because with ds#1 I just trusted my OB and did as she said. I am also having my first unmedicated hospital birth this time. Last time I had an epidural. Dh and I just finished our hospital class (mostly because I wanted to know their policies and kind of get a feel on how they stood on things) and I told him that I really think they should have went around the room and asked any lady who had previously given birth, how it was, and what they would have done differently. The hospital we are using this time seem very pro-epidural and while they discussed the ways women acted who didn't receive one, they didn't mention the women who, like me, do get them and have them not work like they should. Mine only worked on one side of my body for a bit before wearing off completely. It was definitely more of a PITA than it was worth (even to the naive me then).
This time going in knowing I don't want those types of interventions and meds, I feel stronger and smarter. My mom, who of course I should have listened to back then , had all 5 of her kids at hospitals and all were unmedicated, my youngest brother was almost 12lbs. She said she knew she could do it, her mom had and her grandma (my great grandma) had 11 of 13 at home unmedicated mostly unassisted. We come from a long line of strong women, just like I am sure you do too. We just have to remember that through the intense points and use it to help push us through.
I am nervous about being in the hospital, and we are hiring a doula, or should I say DH is hiring a doula because *he* wants the extra support
I am going to be brutally honest with you: I think that from the tenor of your posts, you are not putting yourself in the best position to proceed with your desire for a natural birth. First, to me it is the equivalent of a marathon: not something to "try" but rather something that requires a great deal of preparation for most people to accomplish. I'm not talking about a "method" or expensive class, but rather lots and lots of self-education about the nuts and bolts of labor, interventions and their pros and cons, and various coping methods, including spending a lot of time thinking about what would work for you. This doesn't have to cost any money; library books and internet articles are free. Read, read, read! Maybe you have done so already. In this country, over 70% of women get epidurals so "going natural" is a bit of an uphill battle and I for one think that a women needs to be "armed!"
My second concern is your DH, especially if you don't have a doula. He will have to advocate for you, possibly in the face of resistance - and this could go fine but it could certainly go well beyond the discomfort of merely inconveniencing someone else! What if a nurse tells him you have to get an epidural because you are too noisy? Will he be embarrassed and pressure you into doing it (this happened to a friend of mine, btw)? So if this is really and truly what you want, you need to make sure DH is 100% on board, to the point of maybe even talking you out of getting an epidural at some point (which happened to me ).
I loved my natural birth and I hope I can do it again with ds2. That said, it's not for everyone, and that is 100% ok. Nor is it possible under every circumstance. But if you feel very strongly that it is for you, make sure that you have done everything you can to make it happen, and then you'll be able to feel satisfied with whatever outcome you end up with.
Good luck, and I know you will have a beautiful birth!
bethannek, thank you for that! It actually made me feel that much more confident
And JessBB, no worries...I like brutal honesty I (and DH on his own, lol) have definitely been reading a ton about the common interventions, the need for or overuse of them, and DH and I have talked at length about what point we're comfortable accepting what the hospital staff has to say. Suffice it to say that he is completely on board with questioning EVERYTHING before it's done. Funny that you should mention the "too loud" issue, though...we talked about that last week after our class, and he totally agrees that the unmedicated women and hospital staff can basically shove it if I'm too loud for them, lol!
Honestly, I don't have a doula because I don't want anyone else there. I have done my research. I know what I want. I know what I'm willing to bend on, and what I'm not. I will have my vbac. Most likely unmedicated. Your best bet is to go in there feeling strong, happy and confident! Your body can do it. Your mind can do it. Simply remember to question things that don't feel right, and to do the things that do. There is no right or wrong way to do it, just what works best for you!
Yep and I too opted out of a doula, because I've done this unmedicated in a hospital a few times before without one. I think doulas are great obviously because I was going through the process to be one myself. I just dont think everyone needs one necessarily and they can be costly too.
I'm able to be an advocate for myself though and I believe that is the best way to have a good outcome in a hospital. Many people arent outspoken and are not good advocates for themselves under any circumstances and thats not good imo.
Jess mom to 5!!! 3 boys 2 girls and another girl on the way edd jan 31st! I have a Disabled veteran husband
breastfeeding,cosleeping, non vax,no circ,and nature loving family!
Trying to build up my house, not tear it down . Got 3 wonderful kids , blessed with a wonderful husband and have the privilege of staying home full time to enjoy it all!