37 week appointment - slight vent - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 14 Old 02-12-2009, 11:52 AM - Thread Starter
 
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i know, i know, i'm a first time mom, everything i've read says i should expect this.

at my 37 week appt, i am STILL totally effaced, 1cm dilated. i have been pretty much like this since 33.5 weeks. est weight is around 8 lbs now. i think i'm going to stop getting ve's because i really felt deflated afterward. i was SURE that SOMETHING had to have happened.

i guess all of the excitement of the ptl, plus these constant cramps and aches that i've been feeling, led me to believe that perhaps i'd go a bit faster. i don't want to be pregnant for another MONTH or MORE.

ok, end rant now. just glad that she's healthy and growing. as long as her head is small

i'm so jealous of everyone who is holding their babies now!

: single mom extraordinaire, keeper of eew since 02/09
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#2 of 14 Old 02-12-2009, 12:14 PM
 
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I think you have the right idea by skipping VEs in the future. Finding out that nothing measurable is happening can take a normally sane, patient woman and turn her into a crying, blubbering ball of emotions. Its like you know you're being ridiculous but you can't help it!!!

Just think of all those women who go from nothing to full-blown labor. THAT could happen to you. Also think of all those women whose little babes come too soon and that should help us be grateful that our bodies can keep these little ones in until they're REALLY ready.

Do you knit? Sew? Paint? Go out today and buy some cheap supplies to start a little project.

I have a friend who fills her last four weeks with appointments for pedicures, massages, and lunch dates. That way, she always has something to look forward to - and its not a big deal if she has to cancel the appointments due to birth.


Its going to happen relatively soon no matter what!

Mama to 4.5
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#3 of 14 Old 02-12-2009, 12:32 PM
 
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I'm sure it's difficult to have your expectations dashed! I've been telling everyone (including myself) that I'm going to have a St. Paddy's day baby and not to expect a baby any sooner. Now that I'm nearing 37w though, all I can think is "I could go any time!!!". I really thought that I'd set myself up for patience by thinking I'd go 11 days over, but nope, I'm uber anxious now! haha. It's normal.

I think making dates/appts/projects is DEFINITELY the way to go!

Homebirthing mama of 2
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#4 of 14 Old 02-12-2009, 12:32 PM
 
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Cervical checks mean NOTHING. You could go into labor tonight. So don't let them excite you or bum you out. Just forget about having them done.

She'll come when she's perfect and ready! :

Deanna Mom to 3 boys! Jake (April 2006) & Twin Boobie Monsters Wesley & Nathan (Feb 2009)!  homeschool.gif nocirc.gif

 

 

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#5 of 14 Old 02-12-2009, 12:41 PM
 
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VE's can be really tough for that reason. I walked around for a week (or probably longer) last time totally effaced, 4 cm dialated and with a bulging bag of waters. After my VE I thought the baby was going to be there in a couple days. One week later I trudged into my next appointment very disappointed.

As a first timer, though, it's also important to think about how you want to approach VE's when you are in labor- especially if you are planning a hospital birth where they want to check you nearly every hour. It is really discouraging to feel like you are working really hard and have a nurse tell you there is "no progress"- it just plants those seeds of self doubt and fear.

Most of all, know this. You may be at the point where your baby could come any time. But your baby will come at just the right time for her. If it happens early or late- it doesn't mean there is something wrong with you or your body. If you are both healthy, there is no point to rushing it, just let it happen.
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#6 of 14 Old 02-12-2009, 01:32 PM
 
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Aww...so sorry you're feeling this way! But since you're in such a better environment now, your body is able to hang on to her a bit longer. I think passing on the ve's for now is a good idea. I haven't had one since my first pn appt, and get the feeling that with the mw I have now () I won't have any with this babe, unless I ask for it...or unless labor gets going and drags on.

I like the idea pp had about doing something crafty for yourself. Could you make it to the pottery studio?

to you, mama!!!

Marilyn, wife to DH 09/02 and mama to my boys, DS1 11/06 and DS2 02/09, and a new one on the way in 06/12!

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#7 of 14 Old 02-12-2009, 01:39 PM
 
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Originally Posted by DeannaK View Post
Cervical checks mean NOTHING. You could go into labor tonight. So don't let them excite you or bum you out. Just forget about having them done.

She'll come when she's perfect and ready! :
Totally

With Baby #3 I asked to be checked on the thurs before my EDD and I was nothing. Not even thinniing out I went into labor that Sun and was checked when I got to the birth center and was 1cm. 3 hours later she was here.
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#8 of 14 Old 02-12-2009, 02:02 PM
 
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I know it's frustrating.
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#9 of 14 Old 02-12-2009, 02:55 PM
 
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Not in your DDC, but I completely agree about skipping exams going forward. You will eventually have this baby, and the signs they see give NO indication of WHEN or HOW SOON. They indicate that something is happening, but no one can predict the timing. Don't fret about weight guesses either!

Alicia, wife to an loving and faithful DH, and mama to three fantastic though nutty children (cs, then an HBAC, then a VBAC!!).
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#10 of 14 Old 02-12-2009, 03:10 PM
 
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Hugs, I want to hold my baby too. And yes, it totally sucks that you don't seem to be making progress, makes having cervical checks upsetting.

Kristin- Wife to J, Mommy to B (11), M-S (8), and little J (4) and J&J (7 months)
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#11 of 14 Old 02-12-2009, 03:28 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by G&B'sMama View Post
VE's can be really tough for that reason. I walked around for a week (or probably longer) last time totally effaced, 4 cm dialated and with a bulging bag of waters. After my VE I thought the baby was going to be there in a couple days. One week later I trudged into my next appointment very disappointed.

This was me with my first baby. My doctor even told me at my exam not to make any plans for the evening because I was probably going to have the baby that night. Nope! Still had weeks to go. I saw a few different doctors this pregnancy and the one with 35 years experience and 9 kids of his own is the one who does not do routine vaginal exams. He says it tells you nothing about when your labor will start.
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#12 of 14 Old 02-12-2009, 03:30 PM
 
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This is one main reason why I skip VE's. For some, it's very encouraging and doesn't bother them a bit. For ME, I get frustrated and deflated just like what you are experiencing. I would refuse them too, if I were you. It won't be long mamma. I promise.
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#13 of 14 Old 02-13-2009, 08:55 AM
 
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i have never had a ve during any of my pregnancies, to be honest it seems slightly odd to invade the babies space that way, its just not something done in the uk i guess.
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#14 of 14 Old 02-13-2009, 12:28 PM
 
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Definitely echo everyone else's words on how absolutely discouraging they can be.

You really have to block it out.

I was no dilated at all... barely... not 1 cm for the first 22 hours of my 24 hour labour :

Around hour 16 is when i started hyperventilating cause I just couldn't stand the thought of this going on forever and i was having contractions every minute. At hour 20 i started bawling... i had really been fine .. then i just crashed emotionally and took an epidural i didn't want. It all worked out as I got my baby in the end.. but seriously the ve where am i mindset (I'm totally a goal person.. so i can get the listening to it... ) can be very counter productive.
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