Anyone DTD yet? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 23 Old 04-23-2009, 05:41 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I was just wondering, can I ask this? I had my 6 weeks appointment a week ago, and was given a clean bill of health and given the green light for sex. Hubs hasn't even tried, and I haven't had the energy to initiate. I was on pelvic rest for a LONG time so it's been a LONG time (like 6 months) since... After my boys the first time wasn't very enjoyable...anyway just wondering if anyone else was back on track with this yet.

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#2 of 23 Old 04-23-2009, 05:42 PM
 
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We have twice. Both at 5 weeks. I healed VERY quickly. It was fine... thats really all I have to say about it.
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#3 of 23 Old 04-23-2009, 06:06 PM
 
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i haven't even tried. it's been several months for us, too. i've had dreams, though, and i would give it a go if the opportunity presented itself.

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and his rainbow1284.gif baby brother (7/2011)
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#4 of 23 Old 04-23-2009, 07:32 PM
 
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We did at three weeks. I was a bit tender but I enjoyed it and it wasn't painful. I wanted to and we took it slow. I did heal quickly though. My MW gave us the go ahead at our 3 week appointment, saying that the average was ten days! I was not that ambitous at ten days, let me tell you! With my first we waited quite a while though, past 8 weeks.

Your body will let you know for sure, each person and situation (and pregnancy for that matter) will be different.

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#5 of 23 Old 04-23-2009, 08:15 PM
 
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We did right around 3 weeks, and it was excellent I initiated it, and there was no pain. But I had only a very minor tear, and healed very quickly. And honestly, I really needed the intimacy for emotional reasons more than physical. We also had sex right up until I was in labor though, so three weeks felt like forever to me!

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#6 of 23 Old 04-23-2009, 09:01 PM
 
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I would really, really like to, but we haven't yet. I really feel attracted to my partner, but even though I know it will be okay and my background is in sexuality, I am scared to ever put anything in there ever again We have talked a lot about this subject and I asked him last week, but he said he wasn't ready. My bleeding stopped last week, but I still looked bruised. Plus, how do we find alone time? How do you mammas with new babies and another child do it?
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#7 of 23 Old 04-23-2009, 09:01 PM
 
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We did at 5 weeks. I didn't notice any pain.

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#8 of 23 Old 04-24-2009, 12:58 AM
 
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Originally Posted by GoddessJ View Post
I would really, really like to, but we haven't yet. My bleeding stopped last week, but I still looked bruised. Plus, how do we find alone time? How do you mammas with new babies and another child do it?

You become VERY creative: Seriously though it is hard to find the time & energy to keep the physical side sometimes~ I remember when it was just 1 baby & we could & did have a lot of fun! Now I feel like someone needs me 24/7(between the baby, the 2yo & the 16yo plus my DH!) I am starting to really feel spread a little thin so my DH is suffering a wee bit but I know & have tried to convince him that this too shall pass & we will be back to normal~

s
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#9 of 23 Old 04-24-2009, 12:04 PM
 
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We haven't yet but we are both ready. I am 3 1/2 weeks PP. Dh has been on a crazy 12-hr shift so we haven't had the chance. We have 3 other children but don't seem to have a problem finding time to DTD. Honestly my kids go to bed at a certain time and after that it is "our" time. We have never waited until 6 weeks PP to DTD either. I think 10 days is a little early but with DD #3 we waited just 2 weeks so not much more after that. Our biggest concern is not getting pregnant again so we are mainly wanting to avoid that.

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#10 of 23 Old 04-24-2009, 10:05 PM
 
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I'm 4 weeks and we haven't had regular sex but we've been intimate and done everything else and it was awesome! I had NO libido my whole pregnancy and had sex anyway, but now I'm craving it all the time and it's SO much better to feel this way! Every time I think I'm ready to have sex I start gushing blood again and I back off. But, we're having fun doing other things.
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#11 of 23 Old 04-26-2009, 12:42 PM
 
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A few hours after I wrote this we dtd for the first time... I had a c-section so externally things are ok but internally things are very out of place and sore. Sex was surprisingly not painful though, just sore in certain positions. Now, my BREASTS were sure sore!
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#12 of 23 Old 04-27-2009, 08:53 PM
 
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We dtd this past weekend. I'll be 6 weeks PP this wednesday.

Wife, Mother and Doula.
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#13 of 23 Old 04-28-2009, 02:13 AM
 
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We did once. No tears or anything to heal, but neither of us felt comfortable as long as I was still bleeding.

As for finding time...the older 2 were in the bath & the baby was nursing.

mom to all boys B: 08/01ribboncesarean.gif,  C: 07/05 uc.jpg, N: 03/09 uc.jpg, M: 01/12 uc.jpg and far too many lost onesintactlact.gifsaynovax.gif

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#14 of 23 Old 04-29-2009, 08:49 PM
 
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We did. Finally! I have been anxious to for a looong time. We had sex up until a few days before birth, and I don't think we had ever gone more than about 8 days without sex the entire time we've been together (over 4 years), so waiting almost 6 weeks was like FOREVER. The problem was even though we had sex throughout pregnancy, early on it was tough b/c of morning sickness, and later it was uncomfortable due to the giant belly (I felt squished).

Anyway, it was slightly painful, well, more like a pinching inside the birth canal on my left side. Once we added a bunch of lube, though, it wasn't so bad, and then started to feel really good. I expected things to be all loosey-goosey down there b/c everyone says that's how it is after you give birth, but it was actually quite tight (TMI) and that paired with having to use condoms probably made it pinch/hurt a little. We got through it though, and it was quite enjoyable! The condoms suck, but I hate hormonal BC, and we don't want another LO right away.

Note: I had a 2nd degree tear with quite a bit of stitches, and it seems to have healed OK, but there is scar tissue... ??? IDK it feels weird.

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#15 of 23 Old 04-30-2009, 05:21 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks everyone for sharing you experiences.

Quote:
Originally Posted by filiadeluna View Post
Anyway, it was slightly painful, well, more like a pinching inside the birth canal on my left side. Once we added a bunch of lube, though, it wasn't so bad, and then started to feel really good. I expected things to be all loosey-goosey down there b/c everyone says that's how it is after you give birth, but it was actually quite tight (TMI) and that paired with having to use condoms probably made it pinch/hurt a little. We got through it though, and it was quite enjoyable! The condoms suck, but I hate hormonal BC, and we don't want another LO right away.
Ha ha, this sounds like my situation. we finally gave it a go and I couldn't go for very long because it was uncomfortable and the condom doesn't help. Hubby's going for the big "V" in a few weeks, so after that it should be much better because we won't need anything. anyway, I had several days of bleeding afterward which concerned me a bit. I did have a c/s so I know things inside are all still healing, so that may be why.

Anyway, hope everyone is doing well now in this department!!!

married to the love of my life : and mamma to 3 amazing kids DS1 DS2 : and DD , ::
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#16 of 23 Old 04-30-2009, 06:32 PM
 
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I had several days of bleeding afterward which concerned me a bit. Anyway, hope everyone is doing well now in this department!!!
I had a day of bleeding after DTD too. I talked to my friend/midwife and she said the same thing happened to her too. Mine stopped after one day and it hasn't come back. I don't know???

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#17 of 23 Old 05-01-2009, 04:20 PM
 
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i haven't, but god i want to!

i don't want to hear any whining about not dtd for a couple of weeks. i have dtd once since last AUGUST. ONCE!!!! AUGUST!!!!!

my libido is back in full force too - it had kind of disappeared for my pregnancy but oh my am i ready

umm, devaskyla...you did it while the lo was nursing!?!
i'm shocked and impressed

: single mom extraordinaire, keeper of eew since 02/09
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#18 of 23 Old 05-01-2009, 04:37 PM
 
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yep, twice. wish it could be more, but someone is always stirring..........

2wks after the section i was raring to go
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#19 of 23 Old 05-01-2009, 10:09 PM
 
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Originally Posted by jdubbelewe View Post
umm, devaskyla...you did it while the lo was nursing!?!
i'm shocked and impressed
Yep. Done that with every kid. Mine don't seem to stay asleep without me near them.

mom to all boys B: 08/01ribboncesarean.gif,  C: 07/05 uc.jpg, N: 03/09 uc.jpg, M: 01/12 uc.jpg and far too many lost onesintactlact.gifsaynovax.gif

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#20 of 23 Old 05-04-2009, 03:45 PM
 
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we did at about 2 weeks... after both kids, actually. (both cs)

a little bit pinchy at first from the condom but no pain otherwise. as far as finding time that was a bit more difficult. it has to be late at night when both kids are sleeping... so not a lot of opportunities.
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#21 of 23 Old 05-29-2009, 03:16 PM
 
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Okay, so FINALLY! I have had a huge sex drive since the birth, my midwives say I am one of the unsuall ones...but we just haven't found the privacy or the time. After a few failed attempts we finally learned how to navigate sex with a baby.

I am writing a book about sexuality during pregnancy and the postpartum period. Would anyone be willing to share their stories with me? It will all be kept confidential.

Lots of love to everyone...boy has life changed!
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#22 of 23 Old 05-29-2009, 10:14 PM
 
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i still haven't had sex, but we did do a bit of touching earlier this week. i still don't feel quite ready yet, but i'm also afraid the longer i wait the more difficult it will be.

SAH dissertating mama femalesling.GIF to my sweet little boy (2/2009)
and his rainbow1284.gif baby brother (7/2011)
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#23 of 23 Old 06-09-2009, 01:01 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Devaskyla View Post
As for finding time...the older 2 were in the bath & the baby was nursing.
This cracked me up...DH used to make sure we were alone and all that, then it progressed to baby in bed, now he doesn't care if she's eating or not! So, we have been quite successful since we don't have to find "time". (We have 3 older ones that are oblivious...so far).
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