Join Date: Mar 2005
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Life With Baby
Well, Today has been particulary hard, don't know if I am dealing with Colic or just Gas Pains, but Eamon is incredibly fussy with screaming fits (they even happen in his sleep). We were off to a great start, he was even sleeping through the night, now I can't figure out how to calm him at all. I'm not sure I am cut out for this mom thing after today.
How are you doing physically?
I felt great about my PP body for about a month, now physically I am healed and itching to workout or do something to start getting back into shape, but the little guy is so demanding these days that I can barely get food and go to the bathroom. I am also having a bit of pain and blood when having a bowel movement...I am guessing that I have hemmoroids or a fissure. I have a great libido, but my partner is overwhelmed with so much that he hasn't engaged with me physically at all, this is getting frustrating.
How are you doing emotionally?
I am starting to wonder if I am getting signs of PPD. Today I have felt at my wits end and want to run away from everything. I know that I need to ask for more help and to get breaks for showers and personal time. I am taking my placenta still but it doesn't seem to help this week. I've been crying a lot, when the baby screams I often cry too. It is hard for me to understand why he is so fussy when he has everything he needs and we had a natural home birth. Perhaps my mood is contributing. I am overly stressed with work, caring for him, and trying to be very supportive to my partner.
What else is going on?
We closed up the Venice house last weekend which was really hard, we fell in love there and concieved Eamon there, and it respresented a time of growth and prosperity. I have been alone with the little man for long stretches and finding that being a new mom is really, really hard for me. I feel like I would rather just go back to work and get away, especially after today when he has been crying and I can't even get him in the sling to go for a walk outside. Both of my partners are working like crazy, I'm thinking that I need to reevaluate the parenting style that I have choosen (attachment parenting) and perhaps break down and hire help or get a swing or bassinet (he's been sleeping in bed with us and I am holding him all the time)
jaiya - sounds like you're having a really hard time. i practice mostly ap with eden but found, as a single mama, that the true parenting style that i practice is ww - whatever works. i have a cosleeper, a swing, a little mat with tons of hang-y things, a bouncy seat, and she's happy with those things, thriving, and very attached to me. part of ap is having a happy mama too, and your little guy is going to love you no matter what. be gentle with yourself and understand that you don't have to fit into any particular mold to be ap...it's more theory than guidelines. you don't have to hold your baby 24/7 to be ap. your needs should be met as much as eamons's.
Wife to Phil, Mom to Saoirse (3/09), and Niamh (1/12) .
How is life with your baby?
Things are going great. London is a dream come true. Difficult, but a dream come true. He loves me, what can I say, I must be pretty darn great since he SCREAMS at everyone else :
|The hardest thing for me is not being able to let go of being a Mom now. If consumes me 24/7.|