tell me there's nothing to fear... - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 4 Old 04-29-2009, 08:13 PM - Thread Starter
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last night, my son slept for a few 2-hour stretches, which is a long time for him. my libido is still quite low, but i would still like to maybe initiate some intimacy with my husband sometime soon. for him, for closeness, etc., even though i'm perfectly content not to be stimulated, too. anyway, baby is two months old now, and we didn't have actual intercourse for a few months before's been a long time. i think my two small tears are fully healed, and i've felt around in there and i think we're good to go, but i'm nervous. the midwife was really insistent that we use lots of lube, so i have some ky liquid on hand. i'll be sure to use it. anyway, i'm hoping someone eles who went this long a stretch w/o sex and also had a baby and maybe a tear or two in the process could tell me that i'm worrying for nothing. i guess i'm afraid of pain, mostly...

SAH dissertating mama femalesling.GIF to my sweet little boy (2/2009)
and his rainbow1284.gif baby brother (7/2011)
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#2 of 4 Old 04-30-2009, 02:17 AM
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Girl, we go months without

Seriously, just go slow and don't be afraid to tell him to "wait a bit, i'm trying to figure out how this feels". Don't be afraid to laugh about it, it always seems funny to me and dh when we're trying to get back into the swing of things. Being in charge can remove some of that fear, so perhaps telling dh you're in charge would be good for both of you...he can enjoy taking it easy , and you can be sure to move at your own pace.

Way TMI on my sex life, huh?

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#3 of 4 Old 04-30-2009, 04:32 PM
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i'm in your boat too. actually, this happened with dd1 also. like multimomma said, just take it slow. i did have 2nd degree tears after both girls and it did hurt a bit but nothing like birth! with plenty of lube and a patient hubby, things should be good!

wife to dh, mama to dd1   june 2007, dd2 march 2009 and dd3 april 2011
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#4 of 4 Old 04-30-2009, 06:29 PM
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I'd say just give it a try, but tell him you reserve the right to stop at any time where it becomes too uncomfortable. I'm betting you won't have to stop.
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