My First Question (Sex-Related) - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 11 Old 06-25-2008, 10:12 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Okay...I feel very silly for asking this, and I know pregnant women can and do have sex. But I keep worrying it'll somehow dislodge something or put too much pressure on something important, or whatever other vague concern applies here.

I could, I guess, ask my mom, but I *really* don't want to!

I guess I still feel like things are still "getting settled" in there and I don't want to disturb them with sex or orgasm or anything. This is paranoid, I know...

Please...someone who's been through this before...tell me you've had sex during pregnancy, and things turned out fine!


SAH dissertating mama femalesling.GIF to my sweet little boy (2/2009)
and his rainbow1284.gif baby brother (7/2011)
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#2 of 11 Old 06-26-2008, 01:36 AM
 
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I felt that way through alot of my first pregnancy.

It took weeks for me to be willing to try intercourse - and then I couldn't enjoy it because I was too nervous.

Having gone through a natural birth - I now feel like it's a whole heck of alot harder to 'dislodge' things...

Anyway - we did alot of things by hand the first time around...
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#3 of 11 Old 06-26-2008, 08:14 AM
 
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I don't know if this will help or totally freak you out. I am trained as a midwife and had no issues having sex while I was preg with DS-- like Kessed said, it is pretty hard to dislodge things. So, DH and I had sex, and the I got up to pee afterwards and saw a bunch of bright red blood. I was 7 weeks at the time. I will never forget it, b/c it was way more than spotting and so bright!

I cried for awhile, worrying that I was m/c'ing. There was a little more blood each time I wiped and then it was over. Like, within a couple hours. I didn't have any cramps, so in hindsight I really shouldn't have worried. Cramps + bleeding = maybe you should worry. But I had no cramps. Not even a post-orgasm cramp-- yes, you will probably feel those at some point, maybe when your uterus is bigger.....I certainly did! But like one or two cramps, not ongoing....

Okay, so don't freak out at my story-- you can have sex...and even bleed some and have a happy & healthy baby 9 months later. What I had forgotten in my preg brain that night was how blood-engorged the vagina (etc.) gets. Your body has so much more blood in it (all over, but especially there) than non-preg, that it really shouldn't have come as a shock to me.

So, in conclusion (sorry about the novel), don't worry about sex while preg. That little babe is soooo tiny now anyway-- and some rocking always puts babies to sleep right?

P.S. I was way more horny preg than not, and you may be too-- so take advantage! Besides, once the 1st trimester passes you will have more energy and desire for sex than after the baby in born!

Miles (December 2005) Pascual (March 2009). P's was my beautiful home waterbirth that healed me from my M's birth. natural birth, midwifery, postpartum depression, babywearing, breastfeeding.
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#4 of 11 Old 06-26-2008, 03:22 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by vanessab23 View Post
I don't know if this will help or totally freak you out. I am trained as a midwife and had no issues having sex while I was preg with DS-- like Kessed said, it is pretty hard to dislodge things. So, DH and I had sex, and the I got up to pee afterwards and saw a bunch of bright red blood. I was 7 weeks at the time. I will never forget it, b/c it was way more than spotting and so bright!

I cried for awhile, worrying that I was m/c'ing. There was a little more blood each time I wiped and then it was over. Like, within a couple hours. I didn't have any cramps, so in hindsight I really shouldn't have worried. Cramps + bleeding = maybe you should worry. But I had no cramps. Not even a post-orgasm cramp-- yes, you will probably feel those at some point, maybe when your uterus is bigger.....I certainly did! But like one or two cramps, not ongoing....

Okay, so don't freak out at my story-- you can have sex...and even bleed some and have a happy & healthy baby 9 months later. What I had forgotten in my preg brain that night was how blood-engorged the vagina (etc.) gets. Your body has so much more blood in it (all over, but especially there) than non-preg, that it really shouldn't have come as a shock to me.

So, in conclusion (sorry about the novel), don't worry about sex while preg. That little babe is soooo tiny now anyway-- and some rocking always puts babies to sleep right?

P.S. I was way more horny preg than not, and you may be too-- so take advantage! Besides, once the 1st trimester passes you will have more energy and desire for sex than after the baby in born!
: to all of it :

(including the bleeding and increased libido)....my husband was so happy to find out i was pregnant again....and not only because there will be a baby in 9months...if you get what I mean

Homeschooling catholic vegan Mama to my boys Simon (7), Keegan (5), Ezra (3) and ??? due November
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#5 of 11 Old 06-26-2008, 04:59 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks, everyone. It's really good to hear about these things from people who have been through them before!!!

SAH dissertating mama femalesling.GIF to my sweet little boy (2/2009)
and his rainbow1284.gif baby brother (7/2011)
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#6 of 11 Old 06-26-2008, 05:13 PM
 
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Go for it. I had the same experience as vanessab23--"regular" (for us, at least) sex during week six, followed by bleeding, followed by terror, followed by reassurance that there was nothing wrong with that. If you're really concerned, try not go as deep...probably won't make any difference, but it might make you feel better!

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#7 of 11 Old 06-28-2008, 02:13 PM
 
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I've always wondered this. I always do not feel like DTD the first trimester anyway, but try to make DH happy in other ways. But I dunno, I'm always afraid to DTD until after the first trimester, and I don't care how many people say it's safe. It's just my comfort level, I'm more comfortable waiting until second trimester. This is our fifth baby. I still wait until second trimester. Just me though. Plus, I really don't like DTD when I'm pregnant, in general, no matter how many months.
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#8 of 11 Old 06-28-2008, 05:55 PM
 
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I know it is safe, and we had sex during our previous pregnancies. But I miscarried my last pregnancy at 6 weeks, the day after Valentine's Day when we did it.

Hands off for hubby until the 12 week point this time. We will have to be creative with other intimacy!
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#9 of 11 Old 06-28-2008, 06:10 PM
 
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i gotta quit opening more than one window...
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#10 of 11 Old 06-28-2008, 06:19 PM
 
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I'm in the same boat. In my 1st trimester, we only DTD once. And then I went in to have one of my check-ups and DR told me to be "very very careful and not go in all the way" bc he was afraid that I might have placenta Previa. Well great! Now he has scared the crap out of me and we haven't done anything in months. And I hate it. Not that I want Sex all the time, but I'd like to "have fun" when I want to and not be scared.

I have a MW now and am going in on the 10th, so she should be able to tell me whats going on.
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#11 of 11 Old 06-28-2008, 08:40 PM
 
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Placenta previa huh. Yup, I'd go see an OB and get a full work-up. But I suppose if it were me, I'd be playing it super safe and not DTD at all. Like not. at. all. But then, I'm pretty paranoid about this stuff! My first pregnancy, I was less paranoid, but the older I get, the more crazy paranoid I become!

I even wonder sometimes if stress can cause a m/c. So I try to relax for a few minutes every day, LOL. A few minutes is sometimes all I get, too. Life gets crazy.

Poor DH, he's probably not gonna get any until like this time next year!! He must hate it when I'm pregnant. But he never complains, bless his little heart, and I do what I can to, uh, help him out.
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