When you don't get the reaction you'd hoped for... - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 9 Old 07-01-2008, 09:59 PM - Thread Starter
 
hedgewitch's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Canada
Posts: 566
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Feeling a bit blue here I know it is super early to tell people but I'm one for celebrating whenever I can so...

DP was a bit non plussed when I told him I'm preggers. First test it was take another test (after initial happiness) then after second test it was wait until after af due date (today). Temps still high, no af still no over joyed dp. We've talked/me shouted about it but still takes the edge off the initial feelings.

Told MIL, she's super excited but still referred to my previous m/c a bit (that was partly why dp wanted to wait, my feeling is lets enjoy every minutes), I don't need to think about the previous loss but whatever.

Told my dad (who is dealing with my mum who has cancer so I get he is not exactly brimming with joy). His initial response to me saying I'm pregnant was "Again." Then he kept saying, "I'm happy if you're happy." Wow. Bowled over.

So had a big cry and generally felt crap. My buzz has pretty much gone and I feel like I'm probably being daft I just wanted a bit of 'well done you' etc from those nearest and dearest. My sister was great though, she's super supportive. I just can't seem to get back to my previous : state.

Sorry if this is nonsense, I just wanted to vent.
hedgewitch is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
#2 of 9 Old 07-01-2008, 11:11 PM
 
liberal_chick's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: California
Posts: 1,789
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Oh, I'm so sorry. That really stinks when people don't react the way you hope they will.

My dh is still kind of non-chalant about it. He says it doesn't feel real to him yet.

Wife to an amazing man love.gif, mommy to 3 wild dudes: ds1 (5/23/05 @ 30 weeks), ds2 (3/5/09) hbac.gif, and ds3 (9/26/10) hbac.gif. Part time librarianread.gif, full time mommysupermod.gif, occasional chef and maid.

liberal_chick is offline  
#3 of 9 Old 07-01-2008, 11:15 PM
 
ilovebabies's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,297
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Preggo hormones don't help the situation.
I'm so sorry that everyone has put a damper on your joy. Remember though, you still have a baby growing in you and everyone has 9 months to get excited about it! You're having a miracle, and that's something to celebrate, even if all by yourself! :
ilovebabies is offline  
#4 of 9 Old 07-02-2008, 02:19 AM
 
freestyler's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 1,693
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Well, I say to you....

CONGRATULATIONS HONEY!!!

It is AWESOME and MIRACULOUS that you have this precious life growing inside of you, and I send you hugs and love!! Pamper yourself and treat yourself like a princess for the next nine months. You deserve it!!

:
freestyler is offline  
#5 of 9 Old 07-02-2008, 03:22 AM
 
vanessab23's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Houston
Posts: 1,072
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Oh, hugs mama-- that sucks. I would cry too.

If it helps at all, everyone HERE is really happy for you!!!

But let the tears flow as much as you want, and then do something special for yourself-- baby related. Go buy his/her first outfit, get a massage, start a pregnancy journal.....

Love,
Vanessa

Miles (December 2005) Pascual (March 2009). P's was my beautiful home waterbirth that healed me from my M's birth. natural birth, midwifery, postpartum depression, babywearing, breastfeeding.
vanessab23 is offline  
#6 of 9 Old 07-02-2008, 12:24 PM - Thread Starter
 
hedgewitch's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Canada
Posts: 566
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Wow, I'm almost in tears reading your lovely comments. You are all so right! I will celebrate no matter what!

I spoke to my mum today, she is very ill at the moment but she told me that this is great news and that she is looking forward to a little girl. That made me feel a bit better.

Damn it I'm going to get every bit of : I can!

Thanks mamas, this was just what I needed
hedgewitch is offline  
#7 of 9 Old 07-02-2008, 12:32 PM
 
hillaryjudd's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Reston, VA
Posts: 175
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm in the same boat. My DH has not even brought up the pregnancy unless I have. Last night he called me from work and asked me what I was doing and I told him I was just finishing off a bottle of wine and he believed me at first! I had to REMIND HIM THAT I'M PREGNANT!!!!

I am hoping that it will be more real to him on the 22nd when we have an ultrasound and (hopefully) see the heart beat.

I also wonder if my DH (and your DP) are reluctant to get excited because of previous miscarriage (I had one 8 weeks ago) and this is just their way of protecting their feelings?

*shrug*
hillaryjudd is offline  
#8 of 9 Old 07-02-2008, 01:52 PM
 
Mrsboyko's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 1,702
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Yep, just told DH last night. We also had a M/C in Feb. His only real response to seeing the pos HPT was "I saw a bunch of those in Feb and they turned out to be nothing...' Yea, he got a bit of an ear full on that one. He didn't have to deal with any of it, i ma the one that had to see 3 u/s of no baby then havea d/c at nearly 8 weeks. Anyways, yea, not so much thrilled yet. I am letting him process it for a few days. We are holding off telling family/ friends till 8 weeks or when we see a HB.

W (26) and C (27) parenting G (11/06 ) and D (2/09 ) plus a new one (3/11)
Sometimes the greener grass is actually AstroTurf, a false promise and nothing more.
Mrsboyko is offline  
#9 of 9 Old 07-02-2008, 09:17 PM - Thread Starter
 
hedgewitch's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Canada
Posts: 566
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I think the m/c has definitely affected everyone. Dp has turned a bit of a corner and said sorry for not being more up. He was being cautious, we lost the pregnancy at 11wks and it was not a fun few days. My feeling is lets get back into it all and enjoy every second. When he realised how hurt I was he started to get on board properly, though he's admitted it is very surreal for him and probably will be for a while. I think it is a bit random for chaps until there is a baby to start dealing with. They are funny creatures.

Hugs to us all, we rock
hedgewitch is offline  
Reply

User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off