PAL (Pregnancy after Loss) Thread - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 159 Old 07-07-2008, 06:31 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi DD Buddies.

I'm Kate. We lost a little girl at 14.5 weeks gestation in February 2008. It was devastating. Now we are due in March 2009. I am trying very hard to stay optimistic but it is difficult!

Anyone else pregnant after a loss and care to join in? I'm hoping we all have healthy babies!!
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#2 of 159 Old 07-07-2008, 07:13 PM
 
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I am so sorry for your loss.

This is my 4th pregnancy in 4 years. I miscarried at 13 weeks in 2004 the week of our wedding. Then I successfully had our son December 2005. I miscarried last July at 5 weeks as well. And now here I am, pregnant again and at 5 weeks I hope all our little ones stick

~Liz
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#3 of 159 Old 07-07-2008, 07:26 PM
 
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I had a few m/c's the most recent was May '07. I had a blighted ovum at 9 weeks
Then we couldn't get pregnant again. 18 months later after a IVF cycle, here we are! I'm hoping for a

Honestly I have to say, I'm sorry we had to go through IVF, but on the flip side I'm happy about all the extra EARLY prenatal care I get because of it. I get 2+ beta's to make sure my HCG is doubling properly and I also get a 6w4d u/s to see a heartbeat. That should really help set my mind at ease.

*Aly* Proud ARMY Wife and SAHM to our IVF miracle London Michael 2/28/09 We are so in love! We beat infertility once, lets see if we can do it again. TTC #2!
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#4 of 159 Old 07-07-2008, 08:39 PM
 
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I don't know how many miscarriages I've had. I stopped counting. 5 between ds1 & ds2 & a bunch since ds2. This is the longest I've gone since ds2, though, & longer than any but my first miscarriage (almost to that point, though) so I'm kinda hopeful.

mom to all boys B: 08/01ribboncesarean.gif,  C: 07/05 uc.jpg, N: 03/09 uc.jpg, M: 01/12 uc.jpg and far too many lost onesintactlact.gifsaynovax.gif

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#5 of 159 Old 07-07-2008, 10:28 PM
 
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My most recent was June 3rd - which is the first day of my last period. I was very surprised to not get my period but started to get nauseated very early so I felt like something was up! I also had a m/c on 9/5/2005 and then my daughter was born on 11/1/2006.

I am finding that I'm trying to stay really low key about this one - especially after last month! It was so quick. It is amazing how quickly you can get attached and start planning. I don't want to be detatched, yet I don't want to be too disappointed either. I so respect this process and trust that if all is not well, it is o.k. for development not to progress. We are open to adoption or to getting close to other children in many different ways. I do think a sibling for Leila would be nice though because eventually our parents drive us crazy and you need someone to go through that with you!!!!
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#6 of 159 Old 07-08-2008, 12:20 PM
 
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I'm hestitant to join in. I'm so happy I saw this. My youngest will be 9 in November. This is the first time I have managed to stay pregnant this long. I have had 2 out of uterine pregnancies and I think 7 miscarriages I stop counting. DH and I were discussing IVF. We got all the paperwork to sign and he freaked. I had my blood drawn and I'm waiting for the results. My mid wife is on vacation. I'm waiting patiently to be scheduled for an ultrasound. My due date is March 9th 2009. Just to clarify. I had a positive home pregnancy test.
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#7 of 159 Old 07-08-2008, 12:26 PM
 
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i had an early (>5 weeks) m/c 2 months ago. i'm 5w 1d now and things seem to be going along okay so far. i had my beta's checked last week twice and they were doubling in the normal range so i've got my fingers crossed. i'll feel much better (and will start telling people outside my immediate family) after the u/s i have scheduled in 2 weeks.
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#8 of 159 Old 07-08-2008, 01:24 PM
 
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With my first pregnancy, I lost my daughter at 19 weeks due to several fatal abnormalities. I've had two successful pregnancies and two perfectly healthy boys since then. As with my last two pregnancies, though, I am starting out cautious with this one and trying to take nothing for granted.

Marie-Mom to two boys and a girl.
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#9 of 159 Old 07-08-2008, 01:57 PM
 
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i had 3 first trimester losses before my oldest was born. i believe this was my first ovulatory cycle since i got pregnant with my oldest (2004). feeling a little anxious, but we went ahead and told people anyways.

Mama to Jet 6/05, Marvel 8/06 and Cash and Fox 2/09
Expecting Ada Marianne 11/14
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#10 of 159 Old 07-08-2008, 02:09 PM
 
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I'm not sure what I'm going to do about telling people. I guess I tried to wait until after a 12 week u/s to tell most people with my other two pregnancies. I didn't have an u/s until 18 weeks with my first pregnancy and that's when I found out about all of the abnormalities.

It's going to be tough to tell my brother and sil regardless of when I do, though. They have been ttc and she has had 3 miscarriages in the past year. They don't have any children yet and I just feel kind of bad telling them I'm pregnant again (even though it took a year of trying).

Marie-Mom to two boys and a girl.
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#11 of 159 Old 07-08-2008, 05:34 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I am so sorry for everyone's losses. It's a tough journey, isn't it.

With my first 3 pregnancies, I announced as soon as the pee on the stick dried. All 3 pregnancies went well and I had healthy babes. Then, with my last pregnancy, I decided to wait a while since I am older now. In the end, some of my family members only knew about Reese for a couple of weeks before she died.

This time, I am back to announcing right away (to friends and loved ones). I know there is no guarantee of a healthy baby but I want to share my joy while I have it and have lots of support if tragedy strikes again.
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#12 of 159 Old 07-08-2008, 06:09 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by peacelovingmama View Post
I know there is no guarantee of a healthy baby but I want to share my joy while I have it and have lots of support if tragedy strikes again.

this is *exactly* my thoughts on it. very well said. :

Mama to Jet 6/05, Marvel 8/06 and Cash and Fox 2/09
Expecting Ada Marianne 11/14
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#13 of 159 Old 07-08-2008, 06:17 PM
 
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We also had a m/c in Feb. 08. My symptoms are MUCH stronger this time around and blood work is good so far, so I'm staying optimistic. But, I still get ancy every time I use the bathroom, fearing that I may start spotting or something. Can't wait for 12 weeks!
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#14 of 159 Old 07-09-2008, 11:18 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Our thread will probably float off the first page soon but I hope everyone will feel comfortable bumping it up and participating when she feels the need.

I know that occasionally I will want to share feelings that might be inappropriate on the other threads and I'm glad to have this safe haven. Right now, I feel like this pregnancy is too good to be true and I am terrified that I will lose this baby.

I'm trying very hard to stay positive but it is hard. One minute I'm in love with the new baby and the next minute I want to distance myself in case I lose her/him. Boy, talk about roller coaster. I hope the rest of you have found coping mechanisms. I know some of you have had multiple losses . I hope we all get to take healthy babies home. Please, please, please, please....
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#15 of 159 Old 07-09-2008, 12:42 PM
 
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(dropping in from the Feb DDC)

This is my fourth pregnancy in the past 18 months. All the others were m/cs, at 10 weeks, 12 weeks, and 5 1/2 weeks. We've been working with an RE this time around, I hope it helps. At this point, I can't imagine NOT miscarrying again...

Mara, mama to two boys born 05/2009 and 04/2011, after four miscarriages. 

Also: chicken3.gif  dog2.gif

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#16 of 159 Old 07-09-2008, 09:56 PM
 
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I had to have a D&C at 15weeks in March of 06, one week after my m/c hubby and I had sex then three weeks later I had a positive pregnancy test...

So I understand what you're going through, I was a wrack with my son until around 20weeks. But now I have a bouncing 19month old toddler!

I'm feeling nervous about this pregnancy and haven't told many people IRL but call I can do is hope and live in the moment.

Good Luck and lots of ticky dust!
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#17 of 159 Old 07-09-2008, 10:59 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WeasleyMum View Post
(dropping in from the Feb DDC)

This is my fourth pregnancy in the past 18 months. All the others were m/cs, at 10 weeks, 12 weeks, and 5 1/2 weeks. We've been working with an RE this time around, I hope it helps. At this point, I can't imagine NOT miscarrying again...
I was like that with ds2. I had an appointment with a fertility specialist for a few months after I conceived, so I had a pregnancy test done at the doctor's so I would have 'proof' for at least one miscarriage. I didn't even begin to let myself believe I wasn't going to lose him until I got to about 14 weeks. I kept myself from getting attached with him until then.

It's weird, this time around I was attached really quickly. I'm hoping that it's some strange subconscious thing of knowing that the baby is going to be ok this time and not just wishful thinking. I don't know how I'd cope if I lose this one. It's so much easier when you aren't attached. I keep thinking of names and how we'll deal with sleeping arrangements when the baby is here, all that kind of stuff, and then I have to tell myself it's far too early to think about it and I'm just setting myself up for sorrow.

I keep thinking of putting something in my sig about being pregnant....but I don't want to have to change it.

mom to all boys B: 08/01ribboncesarean.gif,  C: 07/05 uc.jpg, N: 03/09 uc.jpg, M: 01/12 uc.jpg and far too many lost onesintactlact.gifsaynovax.gif

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#18 of 159 Old 07-18-2008, 08:11 PM
 
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mom to all boys B: 08/01ribboncesarean.gif,  C: 07/05 uc.jpg, N: 03/09 uc.jpg, M: 01/12 uc.jpg and far too many lost onesintactlact.gifsaynovax.gif

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#19 of 159 Old 07-18-2008, 11:43 PM
 
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I'm glad you bumped this. I hadn't seen it. I AM having a really hard time because I've had three miscarriages in the past two years. The first was at 17 weeks, then 16 weeks, then 15 weeks. Nothing visibly wrong...which I think was harder to take. My first pregnancy was lost as well, at 17 weeks, so after having seven children it was such a shock to lose three in a row.

I was told I'd never have children due to scarring and my uterine placement, so we've been more than blessed. But I am thankful for this pregnancy and pray every day for continuation. I'll be scared until I hit, oh....about 36 weeks.

My angel babies are John Wallace, Abigail Renea, Matthew Isaiah, and Asher Cole

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#20 of 159 Old 07-19-2008, 01:31 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for the bump.

Multimomma, I am sorry for your losses. I hope you have a healthy baby in March.

I am having my first app't next Thursday and I will have an u/s to check for the heartbeat. I am soooo scared and nervous. I almost wish I could sedate myself and I'm only half-joking. I learned that Reese had died via u/s at 14.5 weeks and it was such a horrible shock... I will probably be posting, asking for support as next Thursday nears.
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#21 of 159 Old 07-19-2008, 04:44 PM
 
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I'm here with you all. My most recent loss was in April. I just found out a few days ago that I'm pregnant again, and of course I'm scared out of my mind. We haven't told anyone yet. I will tell my mom, sister and a few friends soon, but other than that I think we will wait awhile and see what happens before telling anyone else. I only want to tell people that I know will be understanding and supportive if we lose this baby.

I'm just so terrified and not am not even really allowing myself to believe I'm pregnant. I hope so so badly that we'll have a new baby come March.

to you all

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#22 of 159 Old 07-20-2008, 01:29 AM - Thread Starter
 
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How is everyone doing?

I will be 6 weeks on Monday and I just changed my little pregnancy ticker thingie to 6 weeks (even though it is only Saturday night). I just couldn't help myself. It makes me feel better to see the weeks go by... each day my baby stays alive is one day closer to getting out of this scary first trimester!!

to everyone here and hang in there!
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#23 of 159 Old 07-20-2008, 01:53 AM
 
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I understand changing your ticker, I'm rounding up when i say how far along i am...I really won't be okay until I'm in the thirties.

PNWMama, your loss is so recent, I'm sorry for that.

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#24 of 159 Old 07-20-2008, 11:29 AM
 
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I keep checking this post and thinking i need to post. I had a m/c On mothersday this may. It was such of a surprise because I have had 3 other pregnancys and 3 healthy happy babys. It was so hard and I don't know how some of you have had several and still holding it together. I am so paranoid about every feeling I feel. I felt a little crampy yesterday and thougt oh great. My husband is so great and suportive. I am just so scared I don't know if I can handle loosing another baby so soon. It hurt so bad. I was 10 weeks and went in for my u/s and there was a sac and fetel poll but no baby. The sac mesured 5 weeks and then 2 days latter I started bleeding(on Mothers day). I hope I can start enjoying this pregnancy really soon. I am VERY sick so I guess that is a really good sign!

Married to a WONDERFUL man, SAHM of Israel 9(b) , Ireland 5(g) , Iceland 4(b),  Italy 2(g), Scoltand 9 m(g), and pregnant with baby #6

 

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#25 of 159 Old 07-21-2008, 10:27 AM
 
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I am right there will you guys too. I have lost 3 babies and have had 3 babies. My most resent loss was on May 1st and now I am 6 1/2 weeks. I am so scared. We are really telling no one so if something does happen we don't have to untell everyone. This is also my first post in my DDC. I just don't have any joy about this pregnancy and it sucks
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#26 of 159 Old 07-21-2008, 12:02 PM
 
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Hi mamas, I am so glad this thread is here. I am really having a hard time right now.
I am supposed to be happy that I am PG and yet I just keep waiting to m/c like I did in February.
I am sure that is fairly common but I feel bad that I am not celebrating this PG in any way.

Anyway, thankfully you are all here and understand.

Me (42), DH (41), DD (7), DS1 (5) and DS2 Aug 02/09
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#27 of 159 Old 07-21-2008, 12:37 PM
 
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Oh goodness mammas, I'm so glad there is this thread!! I am feeling so terrified of losing this baby! It's such an emotional roller coaster, I feel like I'm going crazy. When I have symptoms and feel awful, I think, cool, the baby is fine. If a day passes with no nausea and I'm not too tired, then I'm nearly convinced the baby has died. I hold tight to the fact that my breasts hurt like crazy, as in too much for me to sleep on my stomach, my milk has run out, and I'm tired and short-tempered a lot. But honestly, I'm just scared stiff of hearing at the first appointment, "I'm so sorry, there is no heartbeat. The baby is not alive." My first appointment is Friday. I wish I could take anti-anxiety medicine or something, anything to take the edge off living with this damned fear. And I'm NOT a medicine person! But this fear, it is so horrible.

We have four perfect children, and it never occurred to me I would have a m/c (in February) and might have trouble having our last baby. I am about to turn 41 in August. I'm just praying for this little one, praying really hard. I have made a beautiful quilt for it. Well, two quilts actually. One for a boy, one for a girl. Every night when I wake up to go to the bathroom, I get worried and have trouble falling back to sleep right away. Damn, I wish the first trimester would END already!!! I'm staying as busy as humanly possible, and also being sure to rest and not overdo it. An interesting balancing act with four kids 10 and under, and homeschooling.

How are you all doing today? I'm so sorry about all your losses, mammas. Veganmamma, nice to see you in the due date club!! Let's hope that in while we're sharing birth stories instead of m/c stories!!
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#28 of 159 Old 07-21-2008, 01:01 PM
 
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freestyler: I know what you meen about haveing healthy babys and then a m/c It was such of a shock to go in to see a 10 week baby and to be told that there wasnt' a 10 week baby, as a mater of fact there wasn't a baby at all. I hope all is getting better. It's just so hard to relax

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#29 of 159 Old 07-21-2008, 03:23 PM
 
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So I have decided to have my HCG levels checked. Wish me luck. So far I don't feel PG at all and that is freaking me out. So I think getting my levels check will help, I hoope. I also just took another Pg test and it was pos right away so that is comforting too.
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#30 of 159 Old 07-21-2008, 04:57 PM
 
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So I have decided to have my HCG levels checked. Wish me luck. So far I don't feel PG at all and that is freaking me out. So I think getting my levels check will help, I hoope. I also just took another Pg test and it was pos right away so that is comforting too.
I have my first MD appointment tomorrow, I might ask for a couple of betas. So far my BBs are a little sore and I am having vivid dreams so those are good early PG signs for me.

I think after a loss you just are always so sceptical though!

I can't believe that I am saying this since I was sooooooooo sick with DD but.......bring on the MS!

Me (42), DH (41), DD (7), DS1 (5) and DS2 Aug 02/09
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