Could use some support.. forced vaccinations - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
Old 08-11-2009, 09:39 PM - Thread Starter
 
keljo05's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 75
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
When our son was born I had done a lot to inform my husband of the risks with vaccines. Our son was given 3 hepatitis shots but then we stopped and my husband was adamant that our son would never be vaccinated again.

Our son is now 2.5 and I've had a horrible evening of my husband calling me from his job about DS's non-vaccines.

DH's sister has 2 daughters. a 5 year old and an 8 month old. a month ago we were at IL's house and the 8 month old was running a fever and not feeling well. Turns out she had double pink eye along with ear infections. I was concerned as DS had a slight runny nose that week, but was otherwise fine and I thought no more on it. My IL's or SIL watch our son on Wednesdays as my husband prefers anything free. Apparently the 8month old came down with pink eye again and both girls have 104 degree fevers. THEY ARE ALL BLAMING DS! He's not been sick AT ALL. My IL"s house has cat and dog pee all over the living room carpet no matter how often its shampoo'd. SIL has a cat and a dog, 5 year old is involved in all number of activities, SIL is a nurse, BIL works in a/c and heating in the city.. so exposure to all kins of germs... but its MY son who was at their house for maybe an hour or so on FRIDAY that is causing them to be so sick. I've been told he can't go near them until they figure out 'whats going on'.

DH has informed me that he will take DS for vaccines if I won't, and if DS has to go thru this I will control what I can about it all. I'm so upset on so many levels right now.

Upset that they are all blaming a healthy child
Upset that they are blaming him when that one house is disgusting with pee and poo from animals
Upset that once again my husband takes their side when they utter one word of protest.

I've been crying off and on for the last hour or so and have no one else to turn to at the moment that understands why I'm so upset. My boss will be a comfort but I can't reach her till after 8 or 9 and she'll help me brainstorm how to keep his immune system strong... but I just needed to spill this out somewhere where my feelings would be understood.
keljo05 is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 08-11-2009, 10:05 PM
 
xmasbaby7's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: New England
Posts: 1,393
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
You certainly have my cyber hand squeeze for what sounds like a monstrous situation. I am so sorry.

Not to be an arm-chair therapist, but it does sound like a lot more is going on than the vaccines here, and it would be a shame for you all to make such important decisions for your son when tension is so high.

Your DH sounds like he is just trying to placate his sis/brother as his knee jerk reaction. Get him on your side by trying to explore how that phone call with his sister made him feel. Make the victim here him, not you.

Easier said than done BUT if you could calmly say to him, "I appreciate that it was really upsetting having your sister criticize us like that, but let's wait and make our vaccine decision by ourselves from a place of informed consent after this blows over."

::: Just another WAHM using this forum to put off picking up toys and cleaning my house.
xmasbaby7 is offline  
Old 08-11-2009, 10:17 PM - Thread Starter
 
keljo05's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 75
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
oh you're absolutely right. There are numerous issues going on and this is just one of many. This marriage is most likely not going to last much longer. I've been screamed at for 2 days over a different situation where I'm being told my judgement in keeping our son safe was incorrect. Long story that no one save DH understands. Everyone else says I did the right thing. Plus DH will always side with his family over me. he lies to me, betrays me, accuses me, makes paranoid statements... its a heck of a marriage. No matter what I say at this point his mind is made up. His family says jump and he says how high and you are all so correct. his parents are also apparently up in arms over everthing as well now. Funny.. this could be the reason I never discussed this with them.. gee I wonder why.

thanks for the hand squeeze, nice to know people out there understand.
keljo05 is offline  
Old 08-11-2009, 10:20 PM
 
chaoticzenmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 4,666
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Does he not realize how crazy this is? Can you offer to have him tell everyone that your son is vaccinated, but not actually vaccinate? It's sad that he's that impressionable, but whatever you have to do.

I'd really consider marraige counseling if my husband was that easily swayed by outside influences on our private life decisions. I'm angry for you.

Ask him how pink eye could be prevented by vaccines and how he can possibly give it to the other child without even having it? And if she's vaccinated and it works so well against anything and everything, why is your neice always sick and your child healthy? The only think I can think of is prevnar, possibly preventing certain kinds of pink eye...not sure. But surely, his neice has had prevnar if they're that pro-vaccine. Also, read up on serotype replacement and prevnar.

Sway him back your way and then offer to lie to his family on the subject.

The proof is staring at you in the face about how much better your son's immune system is.

So, yeah, sympathise with him, but don't agree to vaccinate before attending marriage counseling. If he's serious about vaxing, he'll should be willing to go to marraige counseling for it, no?

Our children make a study of us in a way no one else ever will.  If we don't act according to our values, they will know.~Starhawk Rainbow.gif  New  User Agreement! http://www.mothering.com/community/wiki/user-agreement

chaoticzenmom is offline  
Old 08-11-2009, 10:30 PM - Thread Starter
 
keljo05's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 75
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Can you offer to have him tell everyone that your son is vaccinated, but not actually vaccinate?
Thats what I said but he's already apparently told them that we don't vaccinate. Which does not surprise me as he tells them any and everything about our lives as is.

Quote:
I'd really consider marraige counseling if my husband was that easily swayed by outside influences on our private life decisions.
I've asked for counseling more times then I can count. He refuses for one reason.... he doesn't want to pay the copay.

Quote:
Ask him how pink eye could be prevented by vaccines and how he can possibly give it to the other child without even having it? And if she's vaccinated and it works so well against anything and everything, why is your neice always sick and your child healthy?
exactly!

I will be printing and taking a rather large stack of papers to my IL's house tomorrow as I've based my decision on research rather then propaganda!
keljo05 is offline  
Old 08-11-2009, 10:48 PM
 
xmasbaby7's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: New England
Posts: 1,393
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I didn't want to read too much into your first post, but I was thinking it sounded like your husband was really emotionally volatile and irrational.

Choosing not to vaccinate, for me, is such an issue that I would really think through whatever I had to do to keep my DH from "acting up". If you feel like you have made a decision to divorce at some point, you may want to gently lie that you are going to start the schedule and begin it soon to placate him and his family, and hopefully they will drop it.

My SIL divorced a jerky, controlling guy who was adamant AGAINST vaxes and would not let her vaccinate. After their very contentious divorce, she ran to get her 3 kids vaccinated once she had custody to do so as a F&*$ YOU to her ex. Not the brightest move, IMO, but a perfect example how the vaccine issue in marriages exposes its weaknesses around issues of control.

Again, so sorry for your situation.

::: Just another WAHM using this forum to put off picking up toys and cleaning my house.
xmasbaby7 is offline  
Old 08-12-2009, 01:16 AM
 
chaoticzenmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 4,666
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm thinking that it'll be a mistake to try to prove your point to the inlaws. Don't invite them where they don't belong...even if your husband has already done that.

Our children make a study of us in a way no one else ever will.  If we don't act according to our values, they will know.~Starhawk Rainbow.gif  New  User Agreement! http://www.mothering.com/community/wiki/user-agreement

chaoticzenmom is offline  
Old 08-12-2009, 01:38 AM
 
SunshineJ's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: In transition
Posts: 1,789
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
You know, I wouldn't even argue this one. I'd simply tell them that I was more than willing to give DS the vaccination for pink eye to avoid this situation in the future, as soon as they found a dr willing to administer it. I'd especially be nice and accomodating about it - simply because pink eye is a cold that manifests in the eye and there is no vaccine that can prevent it! I'd also take ds to the dr immediately and have them basically certify that he could not have passed this to the other child since he doesn't have it. What a bunch of silliness! (Ok, not what I was really thinking, but you get the idea.) I'd also fight tooth and nail on this one and lie, leave or whatever I needed to to protect my child. This sounds like it can only get more unpleasant. I'm sorry! ((Hugs!))
SunshineJ is offline  
Old 08-12-2009, 09:12 AM
 
yarngoddess's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Placerville,CA~best place for me!~
Posts: 1,740
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm so sorry you are in this kind of a marriage, have these kinds of IL's, and are being asked to put your child in danger over what the IL's think is "appropriate" and "right"

Now- I'm all for defending your decision, BUT your DH isn't backing your position. He's not going to be there to defend you and support you- and therefore you will be "wrong" no matter what. I hope you know that you are "walking into the lion's den" so to speak
I wish there was an aswer here- but I'm not sure there is. I do want to say that his screaming AT you is abusive, and I wouldn't tollerate that. I would make the appt with the counselor and tell him you expect him there. If he's not you will have proof that he's made no attempt at saving your marriage.
I would also call your doctor and tell them that you and your hubby are having marital problems and that you are AGAINST DS being vaccinated- and you want them to know where you stand on the fact.

Married to Michael and Mother of Jake 9, Jillianne 7, Jensen 5, Jacen 4. I've got severe osteoporosis, a fractured hip and chronic pain-so please be patient with me! Pagan,Crocheter,Reader,Homeschooler- that's me in a nutshell.

yarngoddess is offline  
Old 08-12-2009, 11:07 AM
 
ema-adama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 2,333
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Oh mama,

Lots of good advice here already. I just could not read and not give you a hug.


Megan, mama to her little boy (Feb2008) and introducing our little girl (Dec 2010)
ema-adama is offline  
Old 08-12-2009, 11:50 AM
 
Scattershoot's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Round Rock, TX
Posts: 812
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by chaoticzenmom View Post
I'm thinking that it'll be a mistake to try to prove your point to the inlaws. Don't invite them where they don't belong...even if your husband has already done that.
I 2nd this. If they reacted the way they did to their own children getting sick, then this is a no win situation trying to convince them of anything. The nurse already knows your child is deadly poison regardless of your child's health. Seriously, people who are this far gone are a waste of time when it comes to rational discussion.

Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation. - Oscar Wilde
Scattershoot is offline  
Old 08-12-2009, 11:57 AM
 
Marnica's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 5,470
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Quote:
I've asked for counseling more times then I can count. He refuses for one reason.... he doesn't want to pay the copay.
Right there. says it all. Your husband is putting a 15 dollar copay above his own marriage. Sounds like you have some huge choices to make and I do not envy you. I'm so sorry and am sending :

I would protect my child no matter what. The whole vaccine/divorce thing scares me too

If the people let government decide what foods they eat and what medicines they take, their bodies will soon be in as sorry a state as are the souls of those who live under tyranny." Thomas Jefferson.

Marnica is offline  
Old 08-12-2009, 01:22 PM
 
Evergreen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Where all the women are strong
Posts: 5,295
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I see two things in your post that really stand out. First of all, your ILs seem to be the paranoid ones. If your SIL is a nurse I would really hope she would know what causes pink-eye. It's just an eye infection- can be bacterial, viral, whatever but as a previous poster said there is no pink-eye vaccine. I would write them a letter expressing the fact that you feel badly their children are sick but your ds can not be blamed for this nor can his vaccine status as 1) your son does not have pink-eye or a fever and 2) ther is no vaccine that could have prevented it anyway. Perhaps you can find out if they are uncomfortable being around an unvaccinated child. If so that is their problem and it is incumbent upon them to avoid you or keep their children away not the other way around. Because I am a bitch when it comes to the inlaws I might even throw in a snippy comment along the lines of, "I have decided that until your children are well I do not feel comfortable with DS being around them. He has been so healthy I'd hate for him to catch whatever the girls have. I hope you understand." but I wouldn't wish my horrible relationship with my inlaws upon anyone.

Secondly, your dh must have a lot of trouble standing up to his family. Your later posts let one know that there is more to the situation but if you are feeling brutalized by them he is also probably getting the brunt of it and that can be a frustrating situation. You can't make a monumental descision like this on the basis of a silly family feud. Right now the two of you as parents need to present a united front even if the concensus is only, " DS will remain unvaccinated until dh has continued his research and convinced dw that XXX and X vaccines are safe and effective. Until then ds's vax status is off limits to anyone else but our imediate family."

I hope this all works out. I think the situation has manifested itself to show a bigger issue than the chasm between your vaccine views and your husband's. This goes beyone vaccines as you know and it is evident it is time to overhaul your relationship whether that be working to save it (dh must be on board) or rethinking it all together.

Evergreen- Loving my girls Dylan dust.gifage8, Ava energy.gifage 4 and baby Georgia baby.gif (6/3/11).

Evergreen is offline  
Old 08-13-2009, 11:44 PM
 
sasshell's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 85
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
If your nurse IL feels so strongly that vaccines work so well (though there isn't a vaccine for pink eye) and her children are fully vaccinated, they should obviously be impervious to anything your unvaccinated son might have, right?

This isn't a subject you should approach with logic. I'm not sure there is any way to get through to these people. I would do what I could to stay away from them. Good luck.
sasshell is offline  
Old 08-13-2009, 11:56 PM
 
shanniesue2's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: walking my path
Posts: 1,529
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I fail to see how pink-eye and vaccines have anything to do with each other???

Other than that, it does sound like you're in a tough position with your husband. So sending hugs for strength and encouragement your way.

mommy to Christopher 2/29/08
shanniesue2 is offline  
Old 08-14-2009, 12:40 AM
 
newmum35's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 1,087
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Is it a possibility to patch things up with DH (or at least pretend to for a while) and then move far, far away from the inlaws!! He needs to cut those apron strings! Sheesh!

"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing." -Edmund Burke (1729-1797)
newmum35 is offline  
Old 08-14-2009, 12:45 AM
 
Ophelia's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: MinneSNOWta
Posts: 2,406
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm sorry Unfortunately, I can understand where you are coming from. I WAS forced/bullied/harrassed into giving DS most vaccines through 12 months. Guess what, it's one of the main reasons we have a lot of issues now (although it seems we fight over just about every health related issue) and we were in counseling for 2+ years, and still would be if our therapist hadn't moved out of state!

It is an awful, awful place to be in and I know you worry about things happening if you are not there

((((HUGS))))

I think the only thing that really helped DH see that DS was not going to die if he didn't get every single shot was the Dr. Jay Gordon Vaccination video. See if you can get your DH to watch it.

DS 2006 nocirc.gif DiaperFreeBaby angel1.gif March 2010, DD 2011

Ophelia is offline  
Old 08-14-2009, 11:05 AM
 
angie7's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 2,838
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I think you have bigger issues in your relationship if your husband jumps on his families irrational bandwagon and is willing to jeopordize his relationship with you and the health of his child. Over my dead body will anyone "force" me to vax my child. Take your son and get out of there. You are his mother, he is a baby that can not defend himself, it's up to you to protect him from harm. His father is doing him harm.

single mommy to identical twin girls (3/06) Non-traditional mama just : through life.
angie7 is offline  
Old 08-15-2009, 01:30 AM
 
euro's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 10
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by keljo05 View Post
I've asked for counseling more times then I can count. He refuses for one reason.... he doesn't want to pay the copay.
There are some churches that offer free marital counseling. You may want to try that so you and your husband can have an honest talk with a mediator. Once he calms down, you can bring up the subject of being together as a team in what is best for your son health-wise. Your situation should make him be on your side instead of with people outside your marriage.

I also agree with previous posters about not bringing your son to their place if / when they're sick and talking to your husband about vaccinations when he calms down.
euro is offline  
Old 08-15-2009, 02:33 AM
 
Minarai's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 201
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Unfortunately, this is the manifestation of the oldest scare tactic in the book the vaccine industry has pulled on the masses. And your DH has fallen for it hook, line and sinker.
And sadly, the law is on his side. Even if you do decide to get a divorce, a judge will undoubtedly give custody of your DS to your ex. People, especially those in high-up positions, look down upon us vaccine-opposed folks as "crazy" and "irresponsible."
for you.
Minarai is offline  
Old 08-15-2009, 12:01 PM - Thread Starter
 
keljo05's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 75
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
thank you all for your input.

I went to my il's to pick up my son the other night. FIL ignored me. MIL was pleasant and unspokenly compassionate if thats possible to the fact that I wanted to just get DS and get out. The biggest surprise was that the 5 year old niece WAS THERE. I hope they disinfected her well when she left. I said something to DH about that and he said it's just the 8 month the dr doesn't want DS around. Uh huh.. and if the 5 year old plays with DS.. and DS sneezes on her (he is allergic to something blooming right now) then those germs go back to the house where the 5 year old is all about picking up her little sister.

supposedly the dr is the one demanding that DS not be around our niece. Supposedly the dr also said she doesn't want DS in her office until DS Is vaccinated. Yeah that makes sense. Its hard enough finding a non-vacc friendly dr in my area, now to find one that wont berate me for my decision even if we choose to now vaccinate.

Oh and DH is also letting his family believe this was all my decision. Idiot. I have a religious exemption letter SIGNED by HIM. I'm beyond furious that no one ever sat down and talked to me about this. I told DH that and he takes the high road of me saying that is to cover my butt. NO, I chose not to vaccinate but that doesn't mean it's easy. Even with the information its been a hard choice for me that conflicts me.

A subject came up at one point where a car sales person he used to work with wants him to work with him again. DH has a steady job now thats not car sales. DH wants my opinion. I told him to ask his parents as my opinion is worthless unless I agree with him. This went on for a bit because he didn't shut up and I told him that if he wanted to then go, but don't complain to me when he's making no more money then he is now and when he loses his health insurance for the family. He kept it up and I again told him to ask his family. he said they would tell him no. I was crying at this point and told him to remember one thing. If he chooses to do this I would have stood by his side and defended his decision to his parents, but he has never stood by my side in anything and has always believed their side over mine.

The issues in this marriage are apparent I think and I don't see them resolving. I'm now being yelled at because I'm still mad and upset and have nothing to say to DH. Thursdays we are both off. Oh joy. He woke up and started in on me almost immediately. the next portion will be long so feel free to ignore. I had to shut down my blog this week because of my IL's so I can't vent there anymore. Sadly.. I'll be using you ladies for a bit today

This weeks joy and glory started on LAST saturday. I had taken DS to an outside party that was not geared to any particular age, but only had one other toddler there the same age as DS. My coworkers were there so I would naturally want to be with them as we have fun together. DS has not been to this house since he was 6 months old. While chatting near the garage.. a mere 50 feet or so from the main road... he bolted off around the house waiting for me to chase him. I did so slowly to make sure he didn't go to the road. He went around back and up to the fence around the pool. We peacefully ended that and I was back with coworkers and listening to the band that DS was enjoying. Again he bolted off in another direction without warning. This has not happened with me before. In fact we'd had him at Hershey Park a few days before and he was great all day with me. Given the proximity of the road and his toddler impulse to run, plus the fact that all the cars were on the road and blocking the view of anything heading towards the road, PLUS the fact that it is a very busy road.. I made the decision to leave. I said my regrets and didn't have anyone question my decision. No one thought I was awful, rude or exaggerating things. Including my host who is one of my coworkers. Absolutely every one understood. If you've ever read Pet Sematary by Stephen King you'll know what scenario was running thru my mind. DS is an exceptional runner with excellent motor skills. he rarely trips or falls. I was at the party for about an hour. DH was NOT there. He works a 16 hour shift from sat - sun. he came home the next morning and i had woken up with a headache. he asked how the party was and I told him. Yes I was annoyed at leaving so early.. but on a very low level. I doubt I am a terrible person for that. DH is furious that I left the party for that reason and so soon. Seriously pissed about it. NO ONE else thinks that way. Everyone at work, those that were there and that weren't... are all astounded that he is so angry over something like that.

On top of all of that I have been yelled at for:

venting on my blog when the only people who know who the people are, are the ones that know us. Anyone else would be reading a story about a faceless family in the middle of nowhere. But heaven forbid he look bad to anyone and not look perfect in their eyes.

being mad when a text that was about me.. was sent to me.. and it was not a nice text, nor reprintable on a family site.. and then blaming me for it

not keeping up with the housework and causing him to live in filth. Clutter yes, filth no and excuse me I work a full time job that earns more then he does and I do all the cooking and cleaning and everything but some of the grocery shopping. He works, sleeps, eats, watches TV, occasionally food shops for junk food.

my mother took us and others to Hershey Park. I drove and she drove. I was screamed at for DH using HIS car for the last 2 family summer trips. Last year it was his PARENTS van and this year it was MY car. The car that is registered to ME, insured under a private policy of MINE until a few months ago. He thinks because a loan he took out was used to buy it then its his. Yet I'm the only one thats held a steady job. He has been out of work for layoffs (car sales) replacement (security firm) injuries (back - 8 months, broken hip - 2 months) more times then I can count anymore. He was even out of work for a full month at one time!! PLUS he spends on average 2x more per month then me and only stopped when I opened a personal account that gets my paycheck now. I paid that loan way more then he ever did.

there's more I just can't think of it and then he tells me he can't remember saying any of it.

He's getting a settlement from a wc case and I've been told that I'll see none of the money. I don't think it helped that each time he brought it up I asked him what he was spending it on as I want nothing from him anymore.

not calling and finding a pediatrician when he was the one that was supposed to do that. He DOES nothing that he says he will and I just trust absolutely nothing he says to me anymore
keljo05 is offline  
Old 08-16-2009, 08:31 PM
 
yarngoddess's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Placerville,CA~best place for me!~
Posts: 1,740
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm so sorry momma It sounds like you are in an aweful spot. I would start the process of seperation or divorce, If i were you....what you are describing is abuse IMO. I hope you have some friends or family that you will be able to turn to for support and love, because this feels like a very nasty seperation in the making Blessings and Strength to you, on this most dificult road.

Married to Michael and Mother of Jake 9, Jillianne 7, Jensen 5, Jacen 4. I've got severe osteoporosis, a fractured hip and chronic pain-so please be patient with me! Pagan,Crocheter,Reader,Homeschooler- that's me in a nutshell.

yarngoddess is offline  
Old 08-16-2009, 08:54 PM
 
Ruthla's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Long Island, NY
Posts: 43,652
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 4 Post(s)
ITA with yarngoddess- what you're describing sounds like abuse to me as well.

You need to find a lawyer who's knowledgable about abuse cases- the normal "joint custody, unsupervised visitation" agreements that work for "normal" divorces are completely innapropriate when there's abuse involved. Here's a website that can help you with counseling, finding a lawyer, etc: http://www.ndvh.org/

Ruth, single mommy to Leah, 19, Hannah, 18 (commuting to college), and Jack, 13(homeschooled)
Ruthla is offline  
 
User Tag List

Thread Tools


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off